"...the black dragon is my only friend."
"But Puff is purple."
"No! The other one!"

#Monsterdon #TheWrestlingWomenVsTheAztecMummy

Reading off her new personality like a GPT system prompt #monsterdon

Wait, I need to angle this envelope so the camera can see who’s adressed to… there, done #monsterdon

hypnosis: it’s that easy! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🤼‍♀️ 🪶 🐲 🤕 😱

"Things are going to go well for us, your genius never fails" <-- good to know.

#luchadorasvmomiaazteca No puedo con el malvado Fumanchu de verdad. Está película te cancela con solo mirarla #monsterdon

Disappearing into thin air is generally how it looks when someone gets kidnapped

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon What an awful alarm clock.

Oh shit actual actors of Chinese descent.
And they're gone... Never having had a line.
#Monsterdon #WrestlingWomen #AztecMummy

"No, you wake up."
#monsterdon
#WrestlingWomanVsAztecMummy

@jonny The English translation (and thus dub) is super sterile and wooden. Could be because I’m watching at 1.5x speed to catch up with everyone.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "i should have mailed it to the marx brothers"

#Monsterdon 🤼‍♀️ 🪶 🐲 🤕 😱

BE PATIENT LORETTA.

That was the second step I took to dominate her mind.

#Monsterdon

Guys listening in, taking notes: All the doors will be locked! Hopefully it's like the Barbie Doll locks we use to protect our own Secret Shit!

#monsterdon

Those corsets are serious business. She can't even nap. #Monsterdon

Wow was that an actual Chinese actor on the phone tap?

#monsterdon

well this just got a lot weirder. really didn't need to know about this guys kinks #monsterdon

The China Syndrome! In Mexico! Or something...
#Monsterdon #WrestlingWomen #AztecMummy

"All the men are looking for her-"

Yeah I know it's Friday night, what else is new! #Monsterdon

@ramsey @jonny I think that's where the term "straw man" came from? #Monsterdon

#lock and load #monsterdon

Tied down across her collarbones, how will she ever escape #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🤼‍♀️ 🪶 🐲 🤕 😱

Wow this Black Dragon guy is very mean indeed apparently.

oooo lov that scientific glass and coiled distillation collumn!

#monsterdon

"...just a few injections, and my hypnotic power..."
"So, really just the injections, then."
"Silence!"

#Monsterdon #TheWrestlingWomenVsTheAztecMummy

Damn, Danny Trejo's granddad lookin guy!

#monsterdon

Oh right commercial break. Good time to scroll the timeline and fave and boost some good #monsterdon takes

#monsterdon There are so many levels of wrong with the evil guy's character design

@billyjoebowers @starkraving666 Even the eyebrows are amazing. #Monsterdon

I had no idea hypnotism could be injected. #Monsterdon

[Comment deleted with apologies--it was meant to satirize not embrace misogyny]

#Monsterdon

There's a codex? Hmm, I might be less on top of this plot than I thought

#Monsterdon

That is one monster sized hat box.
#Monsterdon #WrestlingWomen #AztecMummy

@starkraving666

This movie is a hair showcase.

#monsterdon

"Now watch while I dominate this girl's will..."

#Monsterdon #WrestlingWomenVsAztecMummy

Hypnotic power? Why?
#monsterdon

Some real Manchurian Candidate happening here.

#monsterdon

lol the ominous vibes are killing me #Monsterdon

This is some super cheery music to sneak around and lurk to

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Safety deposit box number one hundred! I'm sure that will become numerologically relevant in short order.

(Also, when that guy took out that brick, unwrapped the codex paper, and snapped out that box cutter, I definitely tried and failed to come up with a rock/paper/scissors joke. Ah well.)

"Put this in my box please" "All right" if you weren't watching... #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🤼‍♀️ 🪶 🐲 🤕 😱

He's leaving that very important letter in his high school locker with the comically small padlock?

@cheribaker What do the gold stars mean on the bingo card?

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

These ladies are too tall for this frame #monsterdon

#Monsterdon i have to hold out this envelope so the audience can know what i wrote on it

Is this high school? Leave notes for everyone!

#monsterdon

@brooke Sounds about right

#Monsterdon

It's like a dark episode of "El Chavo Del Ocho"
#monsterdon

He's having a VERY busy day #monsterdon

@Zerofactorial

I was already halfway there.

#monsterdon

I have no clue what this dude is doing

#monsterdon

so he wants his "package" put into his "box" then, i see, i see

#monsterdon #WrestlingWomanVsAztecMummy

#WrestlingWomenVsAztecMummy #Monsterdon props to the English voice over actor for not fake Chinese accenting it up.

@plaidtron3000 dunno, but probably nuthing underneath that? #iMnotHelpingAmI #Monsterdon

@amyfou Possible, but Charlie's Angels actually did stuff

I mean other than beating people up

#Monsterdon

@sean
It does have a bad lip reading vibe to it

#monsterdon

Sigh. 6 ads already. Not counting the 3 before the movie.

#monsterdon
#WrestlingWomenVsAztecMummy

But why once they agree to room together, do they immediately go in separate directions? Don’t split up! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon orientalism is a poison

#monsterdon

Guys tengo mi corazón split in dos today. Not sure what language should I use

i'm guessing we don't get a mummy till the codex comes together?

#Monsterdon

dog be fucking careful with how you handle thousand year old documents there isn't a backup of the codex #monsterdon

they're going through a whole year's supply of DUN DUN DUNNN just at the post office, dang

#monsterdon #WrestlingWomanVsAztecMummy

Now we know where the doc hides his stash.

And, what cheerful music!

#Monsterdon #WrestlingWomenVsAztecMummy

And now I have the completed .... paperwork forms! Muahahaha!

#Monsterdon #TheWrestlingWomenVsTheAztecMummy

This really was written as a silent movie huh #monsterdon

#Monsterdon where's my mummy

#monsterdon did... did they just... did they just say MAYO instead if Mao??

#Monsterdon fuck. DUN DUN DUH DUN!

This one feels like it's going to end like scooby doo. It was crooked real estate developers all along...
#monsterdon

Couldn't possibly be under the mark that they SCRATCHED A THING INTO

#monsterdon

According to the soundtrack this is some *very* important masonry work being done. #Monsterdon

Is she wearing. A tube top under that blazer? #monsterdon

Late to #Monsterdon due to a 30-minute phone update *grumble*

These ladies are tall and strong and I am here for it.

@jonny Dude used a literal straw (like the kind you use to drink from a cup) to shoot a dart.

#Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 Gotta have the right leverage for body slamming

#Monsterdon

@jonny Like their plan was to split up the codex and then all live in the same space together? Great plan.

#monsterdon

"stay tined for the most dramatic candle lighting scene in the history of cinema!"

#monsterdon
#WrestlingWomenVsTheAztecMummy

#Monsterdon it was pretty funny how the guy just picked her up without a struggle lmao

#monsterdon You think they have enough brandy? NGL I'm a little envious of that pouring contraption in the lower left, like a club 45 trebuchet...

so wait, he's gonna split up the codex, but then they're all gonna live in the same house? did he misunderstand how the whole "split up" plan normally goes? #monsterdon

It’s also a film noire, very dramatic.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🤼‍♀️ 🪶 🐲 🤕 😱

Charlotte! Dr. Tracy!

Why was Charlotte so easy to collect?

Loretta? Ruby?

Who was in charge of character naming?

I have a feeling this whole movie is ad libbed.

#Monsterdon #TheWrestlingWomenVsTheAztecMummy

so which of these kids grew up to be doctor tracy?

#monsterdon #WrestlingWomanVsAztecMummy

The acting is some Maria del Barrio level thing #monsterdon

#monsterdon is that a clown car? Like seven dudes just climbed outta there

the cohabitation plan didn't even last a single scene #monsterdon

WOW this guy’s hair lol #monsterdon

this henchmen looking like he should be in the 3 stooges #monsterdon

@catzilla
I dunno. I'm from the Caribbean, and there is a sizeable East Asian diaspora from India and China there. Pretty sure they could find an actor. Can't believe there aren't any in Central America.

Wait, you're kidding aren't you. 🤦‍♂️
#Monsterdon

I always gasp too when I enter a room and people aren't there.

#monsterdon

Why don't they just give up the codex? If some deadly criminal gang wants an ancient Aztec codex from me, it's like "Here you are sir, anything else you'd like with that?"

#monsterdon

i'm stuck in a hotel room with sleeping family and cannot easily tune into the #monsterdon, but i can tell i'm missing a doozie here.

Kick that vase! That was a shitty vase.

#monsterdon
#WrestlingWomanVsAztecMummy

All right, I also have switched to Tubi. Now the resolution is high enough to tell it's dubbed!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon gotta say this is my new favorite thing.

Somebody saw this movie and thought "I need to bring this to the U.S. market immediately!"

#Monsterdon

@strangefour ♪ Come and knock on our doooooor~ ♫ #Monsterdon