THE SHE-CREATURE

@k8eb : she collects shea shells on the shea shore

#monsterdon

She-Creatue was slow and boring.
Lake of Dracula is slow but moody.
#Monsterdon #LakeofDracula

@JoeWynne I skimmed through Voodoo Woman (1957) to see what you meant.

It appears to be the same plot line (I didn't listen to any dialog, you can just see it).

They don't put the creature on screen much at all. There were no good frames of it. But there is this dude and whatever the fuck he is wearing.

#monsterdon

The "Shape of Water" sequel with lesbian love is what could come from this one still from "The She-Creature". Guillermo del Toro could make it more interesting.

https://me.dm/@kshernandez/115721441892827104

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature_1956

That movie had perhaps the least character development of any I've seen in recent memory. They told us nothing about any of the main characters.

The only ones we knew anything about really were 17th-century Elizabeth, and Bill who has an alcohol problem, but was starting to work it out.

#monsterdon

It was a silly movie, rescued by an abundance of Marla English. 👍

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

@CactuarJoe there was enough competency to keep it from being the very worst, but good gods that was boring and irritating.

#monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Dracula's fixer upper holiday lake house.
#Monsterdon #LakeofDracula

lol, there's nothing like 50s movies to really make you hate the Patriarchy! #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe surely in the same warehouse as the Ark of the Covenant? #Monsterdon

@Taweret cheers! #Monsterdon

@ohiofi #monsterdon #WrongCreature

And another dog!

@TerryHancock by jove you're right! The costume was the best character! #monsterdon

Very near the dumbest premise for a #Monsterdon movie ever. That’s saying something. Yet, still enjoyable.

MIRU! MIYAKU! MEDIA!!!!!

#monsterdon #WrongCreature

@bunnyhero not much did happen to be fair #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe "Oh I don't know, I thoight she was kinda cute!" #WrongMovie #monsterdon

Thanks @Taweret & the whole #Monsterdon gang!

what... what happened? some beach movie woke me up....

#monsterdon

Wait—she’s alive? And who is Carlo/a? #Monsterdon

that was a particularly dull movie

#Monsterdon

@ohiofi fire because me want us to fire our guns fire #monsterdon #theshecreature

https://mastodon.social/@ohiofi/115721414799640309

I feel like I'm in one of those dark corners now

#Monsterdon

Someone kill Lombardi already #Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

... and the ivisible She-Creature fucks off into the ocean. The End (?)

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

fucking off visibly into the sea!

ty for joining, everyone!!

#monsterdon

Sea creature had a nice rack. Was that on purpose? #monsterdon

Definitely a she-creature. She's got boobs.

#monsterdon

It's such a slow moving monster, why all the violence
#monsterdon #TheSheCreature

That's a rather busty sea monster.

#monsterdon

I've just noticed the monsters mammalian breasts.....

#Monsterdon

MONSTER PUNCH

Lombardi's financial backer takes a flipper to the face and goes down!

*flopping noises*

And Lombardi is next!

#monsterdon

Some more stuff happens. We have another demo and Doctor Lamborghini eventually puts Possessed Girl into a trance, then tells everyone to leave. Doctor Integrity threatens Doctor Lamborghini but the later replies that if he kills him he kills her, which almost makes sense.

Then the lead cop goes to the beach to challenge the monster to a gunfight. It comes out of the water, glows, then gets shot a few times, then I guess mauls the cop off screen.

#monsterdon

ASHTRAL PROJECTION SHEA CREATURE SHAMBLE

Hypnotically reanimated sea creatures summoned from the depths of time slash the ocean are apparently immune to bullets, or at least small caliber ones, eh?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #theshecreature

#monsterdon So I guess hypnotism is a form of ESP? Because the doctor can fight the doctor's influence on the girl from across the room?

@moira "my accent is 'European'" - these actors, probably #monsterdon

@ohiofi

Hopefully!

#Monsterdon

They not only put peanut button the the roof of King's mouth, they tied a string around his muzzle to pull his lips up.

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Bob's a lightweight #monsterdon #TheSheCreature

This whole movie has been a psychic battle between Lombardi and the dog

#Monsterdon

"What's she got that I don't have?"
"Well, a she's got a transparent ancient sea creature alter-ego."
"Touché baby."

#monsterdon

What is this beach town that people have fancy dinner parties and wear ties and tuxedos every night even if going to a carnival? #monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Having been kicked out of the rich mansion, Doctor Lamborghini tells the Possessed Girl that they're leaving the country, but she refuses because she loves the other guy and says she was given the power to resist him through the power of love.

I forgot which guy she was talking about because my attention span disintegrated a while back.

#monsterdon

Dr Lombardi's abuser tricks are really making his inevitable death satisfying

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon
That sea monster is a prude!

MONTAGE!

#Monsterdon

Lombardi Nights

#Monsterdon

"You can't see because you don't wish to see"
"You took my glassess off"

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

"Strange Story Of Age Regression Grips Millions" - yep. No comment.

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

We're going to give you The Substance #Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

We summon a posse of lab coated gentlemen to investigate this matter, and they join the two existing doctors huddling around the possessed girl. One reports that the details he gave in the hypnosis (about the medal) were accurate, then Doctor Lamborghini gloats that he can send her further back into the time of the Pharoahs, so he hypnotises her again and her soul floats out and borrows one of the scientists' glasses.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Crumbs of my Japanese ridged chilli crisps have fallen into a temporary 'pouch' in the folds of my dressing gown....oh, is there a movie going on as well?

#Monsterdon

Too disturbing to have a bunch of men doing experiments on a woman unable to consent #monsterdon #TheSheCreature

The main actress has a job mainly lying-down. Sounds kind of easy.

#Monsterdon

Is anyone else getting real Seaman (1999) vibes from Lombardi? He looks a lot fishier than Andrea.

#monsterdon

"Age regression" again - I think we've found the screenwriter's fetish.

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Andrea has a case for filing a toxic-workplace complaint.

#monsterdon

What an unfortunate haircut

#Monsterdon

so the good hypnotist is now convinced of time travel hypnosis, and the two hypnotists are buds, and the conflict in the plot just comes from how the soul jailer hypnotist is addicted to summoning a murderous sea creature through this woman #monsterdon

I hope there's more 'Men in suits talking' to come, really I do...

#Monsterdon

The she-monster is horribly, horribly disappointed in the premature end to her attack, and dejectedly stomps away.

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

STOP MOTION MONSTER SAND FOOTSTEPS

#monsterdon

That was close!

#monsterdon

so in the movie, if you go back far enough in someone's prior lives, at first it's all fun and games where they speak in a funny accent, but eventually their mind splits and their prior lives just get fully reconstituted and resurrected, piloted by the psyche of the hypnotized person #monsterdon

We're just past the halfway point. This movie has kept up a decent pace, by our standards. I can't say the events are all compelling or interesting, but they are certainly evolving at a steady and reasonable pace.

#Monsterdon

By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you audience and She-Creature

#Monsterdon

I have a way of proving myself to you but it's going to be harsh 😏 #Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Then the dog from before appears to snarl at this display, but Doctor Lamborghini uses his mustache stare to win the psychic battle with dog. Doctor Lamborghini gloats at his triumph.

Then he reports that the creature that has killed so many people is "on her way to this very place now", causing an alarm, and the cops are like "wtf".

#monsterdon

By the power of Greyskull, I command you!

#monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Most men can't even control themselves

#Monsterdon

“It’s gold locket. The inscription says From Adam, To Eve, Love Ya Bae”

#monsterdon #theshecreature

"Now what do you see Andrea"
"It's a guy with really bad garlic breath"

#monsterdon

The inscription is “bite me”!
#monsterdon

"Let me check Wikipedia" #Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Gotta be honest, this #Monsterdon movie to me just feels bad. Not even the good kind of bad. I'm very much not enjoying this...

lol, she's doing the accent?!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Exposing you doctor? That's the directors thinly veiled fetish…

How to do a hypnosis demo for fame and glory

1. bring possessed girl to sparkly house
2. get spotlight pointed at possessed girl
3. overcome her will by telling her to lay down
4. yell at the psychic doctor because he called you a fraud until he joins you on the stage
5. tell the audience that you are giving them proof of reincarnation
6. ???
7. someone dies, probably
8. profit?

#monsterdon

Frontier psychiatrist #Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

#monsterdon Look at me Andrea, YOU WILL FETCH THE FUCKING COFFEE GOD DAMN WOMAN!!! See, it's simple, easy quiet instructions anyone can follow. EVEN A WOMAN. WHO GETS THE COFFEE. Get on with it!

@paco @jonny

*bork bork bork*

#monsterdon

you know the movie is good when you spend a whole scene thinking about the wallpaper

#monsterdon

I wonder what this set looked like in color

#monsterdon

NO CAPES!!

#Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

The best characters in this #monsterdon so far are the German maid and manservant couple who are having their own exaggerated dialog about the monster attack at another rich asshole party.

#monsterdon

"one last chance to marry me" wow that sure is a convincing argument

#monsterdon

@jonny It's either bad german, or it's svedish, ja?

#monsterdon

lol, fuck off bob you drunk!

#Monsterdon

did they make fun of italians in a 1950's racist way by making them go
"pizza's pooped"
"the poopza's peed"
#monsterdon

Nude she-creature just walked out of the ocean! Can’t believe the censors missed that!

#monsterdon #monsterdon #theshecreature

hi #monsterdon which of these "She-Creature Locations (TM)" would you be most likely to hang out at?

This scene is so boring they had the camera swing around to the lady getting dressed behind the veil
#monsterdon

"You wanna get in, just jingle a couple of coins, the doors'll open automatically"

🔥

#Monsterdon

The foliage is my favorite character so far

#Monsterdon

PROGNOSTICATOR
#monsterdon #TheSheCreature

Ok, we've met our comic relief butler #Monsterdon #TheSheCreature

lol, hoping the dog speaks and nobody makes a big deal of it

#Monsterdon

I deeply appreciate how often #monsterdon movies creatively stray from any convention of logical storytelling.