They're wearing opposite uniforms.

#monsterdon

@ranjit thin giraffe is the protagonist of #monsterdon this week

i mean earth seems fine tho

#monsterdon

Why are all these planets Canada? #Monsterdon

y'know if you can do this much terraforming on other planets you can totally terraform earth back to earthlike too

just sayin'

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

Oh yeah. Jack Palance is in this movie. He must have shown up for one day, shot for 3 hours, then spent a week or two having a nice Canadian vacation. #monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

Oh hey Jack Palance is still in this movie. Welcome back to the movie. Now please devour all this scenery and save us from the boredom.
#Monsterdon #ShapeOfThingsToCome

Saucer section landing

Boom today?

Please?

#monsterdon

Jack Palance is having a good time tho

i wonder what he was on

#monsterdon

You can tell the kids are Canadian, they're wearing Korean War surplus parka outers under their ghillie suits. Still being issued to Army reservists in the mid-90s.

#monsterdon

Who doesn't enjoy a good space module separation?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon okay we need this psycho-warp drive scene and reactions cut in with the Project:Moonbase launch/torture sequence and bugs bunny mashup from 2 weeks ago, maybe adding in the boat scene from Charlie and the Chocolate factory and that one Hitchiker's Guide movie where everyone turned into yarn...

Holy shit, as I was typing that it got worse, and then everyone on the bridge decided to never discuss it again so forget I typed anything.

maybe new washington deserves to be blown up if it has no defenses against completely defenseless, slow moving cargo ships #monsterdon

Delta-3 even has the heart from Pluto. #monsterdon #theshapeofthingstocome

So on the trip between the moon and New Washington city they fell in love? And got lost in a time warp?
#Monsterdon #ShapeOfThingsToCome

"What the hell was that all about?"

WE'RE ALL WONDERING THE SAME THING, MOVIE.

#Monsterdon

"What the hell was that all about"

THANKS ME TOO

#Monsterdon

"Memory baffles ... that's a real thing."

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Yes! the 2001 watch-it-while-high scene!

My only way to understand this scene is that traveling at the speed of light gets you *very* high

#Monsterdon

okay the super expressive :O :O :O and then the robot's completely blank face got a laugh out of me :D #Monsterdon

This movie feels like it's five different would-be Star Trek episodes vaguely insinuating themselves on an off-brand Star Wars set.

#Monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

????????????????? (derogatory) #monsterdon

Pollen! Robots waving pollen EVERYWHERE. Suit actors choking to death inside.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "John." "Marcia." "John." "Marcia!~" "JOHN!" "Marcia."

What in the name of RADIC-Q-2 is happening right now

#Monsterdon

The drama and the fake floating in space. Wow. Such acting. Much drama. #monsterdon

Movie, I demand monsters. Monsters! you hear me? #monsterdon

i think those lumpy executive chairs were not a good idea #Monsterdon

What very robotic robots, waddling around while clumsily waving their arms. Like robots do.

#Monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

#Monsterdon 🚀 🤖 ✴️

I repeat, it's only been seven years but apparently these people forgot everything?

They've gone plaid!

#Monsterdon

We've gone plaid!

#monsterdon

@srol Holy shit this is some next-level mansplaining

#Monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

This just in: MEMORY BAFFLES.

#monsterdon #theshapeofthingstocome

that's what i'm gonna call my ereader now, a Memory Baffle. #monsterdon

@srol project moon base had like 20 plots while this movie has none #monsterdon

We';ve seen worse movies. Omg have we... But this might be the slowest movie in a while. Despite going near the speed of light.
#Monsterdon #ShapeOfThingsToCome

The fact that this movie has like 5 robot suits they can show on screen at one time is extremely impressive, by #Monsterdon standards

Look, if the robot who did a terrorism and killed probably thousands of people at the start of the movie by means of piloting shennanigans says that the ship is operating perfectly well, who are we to question it?

#Monsterdon

Those are some pretty unobservant robots

#monsterdon

So the big twist is gonna be Sparks is still under the control of Jack Palance, Moon Emperor, right? #Monsterdon

@brooke He can't drive stick #monsterdon

I love that Kim's reaction to explosive sparks is consistently a goofy chuckle. A consummate professional.

#Monsterdon

"No, no, I'm not tired, I'm just"

Dying. He's dying, we get it, that's LITERALLY his entire character. #Monsterdon

I think the doctor's thrown up his own intestines so that should give him plenty of room for dinner

and amphetamines

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

#Monsterdon *robot slews the engine exhaust over the field full of younglings, burning them all to a crisp* "whoops"

The tape stretched. Typical 8-Track. #monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

Approaching the speed of light to get to the moon? 6 seconds flight time?

#monsterdon

Oooo, a Space Drive!

How anti-climatic, not even a special effect, the ship just......turned a bit

#monsterdon

"What a strange experience. I don't feel anything" "That's called depression."

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

"Set course for Plotline A, Kim"

#Monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

@Taweret who even are those kids, what was the whole point of that like 10 minute scene #monsterdon

this guy really should be losing SOME sort of weirdly colored bodily fluids by now #monsterdon

Again: What does the music think is actually going on? #monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

you kids sit right there in that field

we'll be back in a few days

#monsterdon

The movie is really hanging its hat on telling the abandoned, sick orphans to "hang on for a few more days" as a sympathetic position. #Monsterdon

We got some kids, we lost some kids. Okey doke.

Not sure we really have the runtime to spare on all these side stories that are resolved in the next scene, tbh.

#Monsterdon

"We won't let you down I promise"

uh-oh

#Monsterdon

how come only some of the kids have wigs?

#monsterdon

We can only afford white mullet wigs for half the children

#Monsterdon

oh, he'll let you down. he'll give you up. he'll run around _and_ desert you.

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

Just wait till the kids start to chant "Grups! Grups!"

#Monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

oh okay children who probably have really bad radiation sickness and cancer. who somehow made some really impressive leaf costumes #monsterdon

What the fuck? The Great robot wars ended 7 years ago. Were these children left on Earth as babies and then ??? and now they're mostly fine except for first degree radiation burns?

#Monsterdon

they don't seem sick. just need some eczema cream

#monsterdon

"These children must be survivors of the Great Robot War".

You mean the war the engulfed the entire planet Earth? Yeah, if they're not dead, they must have survived that, right?
#monsterdon

lol, Jason attacking the camouflaged mutant children

Stop touching them you weirdo

#monsterdon

They're children! Of the corn! #monsterdon #theshapeofthingstocome

#monsterdon he fixed the jeep using a Benny Hill Capacitator

Jason: "Kim's ghosting me" #monsterdon

kid this is not what we meant by "eat your leafy greens"

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

What are those poop monsters? #Monsterdon

Lol did you have the comically speed up the jeep? #monsterdon #theshapeofthingstocome

Oh shit they are walking past abandoned buildings and a broken jeep. It's that dumb test pilot on an alternate earth movie too. This is like the last few months of bad movies put in a blender. Where is the God Monster?
#Monsterdon #ShapeOfThingsToCome

Earth look pretty great after the biggest robot war (what a lame name)
#Monsterdon

Hey it's Nick Nolte
#monsterdon

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK #Monsterdon

He's dead Kim #Monsterdon

so

we need drugs so we can live on the moon

but earth seems fine

so

idk

#monsterdon

@blogdiva I am impressed by the hair too #monsterdon

@blogdiva IMDB says montreal! good eye #monsterdon

These Buck Rogers hand-me-down uniforms? #monsterdon

"Mind how you go."
"Well, I prefer peeing sitting down, but that's no business of yours."
#monsterdon #theshapeofthingstocome

Wait a minute... That's just an Autobot Shuttle... or rather the shuttle is just this. Both before TNG did the saucer separation.
#Monsterdon #ShapeOfThingsToCome #Transformers

i'm going with "alien tomatoes" for the creepy stalking things

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

@gnomon oooh I did not think of the 6 am interpretation

#Monsterdon

So far, Earth doesn't look TOO devistated by the robot wars. #monsterdon

"What's wrong?"
"I donno, i didn't read the script."
#monsterdon

I dunno, this post-apocalypse Earth looks... pretty nice?

Nice crisp fall day?

#monsterdon

give him my regards! remember him at harold square!

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

@gnomon who cares, the robot can bend space, why not time too?

#Monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

SAUCER SEPARATION!? Shit, I hope SOMEONE sued SOMEONE. #Monsterdon

@allanb Right? The whole point of the pre-credits crawl is so you don't have to do that!

#monsterdon

Last of the great robot wars? You mean, we robots are allowed to do that? Die, flesh bags, die!

#monsterdon

Seven years since the last of the great robot wars... When the Roombas rose up... #Monsterdon

Exposition please

#monsterdon

team, do... do we not understand how planets work? and moons?

#monsterdon #TheShapeOfThingsToCome

just a lot of weird awkward silences and then just sudden little music riffs

why

#monsterdon

Tell Sparky to teleport itself into the Sun and never look back.

#monsterdon