this guy's spacesuit makes him look like a human Jiffy Pop
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon palate cleanser:

the first two are 1970s Mikhail Baryshnikov. the last two are Baryshnikov sometime last year and earlier this year. he has a new show and turns 75 this year.

seriously, my all time favorite ballet dancer

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE ELEVATOR DURING AN EARTHQUAKE YOU DUMMY! #Monsterdon

my lonely Black mans has a bit of a Trinidadian accent there. SPACE AFROCARIBS REPRESENT!!! #Monsterdon

i can't even remember the context of this dance scene in White Nights but who cares.

here's Baryshnikov with Gregory Hines in one of the most deceivingly easy choreographies of modern cinema. if am not misremembering the whole thing was caught in 2 takes.

https://yt.artemislena.eu/watch?v=ImzkWZkaIIM

the last time i saw Hines, he was out on Carmine Street speaking with a friend. a few years later cancer took him from us. he was an amazing dancer to see on stage. may he rest in power.

#Monsterdon #fuckCancer

welp, thank you @Taweret@octodon.social once again for hosting these wonderful shenanigans. the Aquanet stiffened hair and the unstretched spandex suits were totally worth it. #Monsterdon

Mikhail Baryshnikov
#Monsterdon

this scene triggered my pollen allergies #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "That switch: I can accelerate the process of evolution. What would normally take a million years, I can make happen in minutes."

Is

Is this guy about to become a lizard

Is this the lizard episode

oh jeez not again

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT DERRICK!!! NOT OUR ONLY AFROCARIB IN SPACE!!!! HOW DARE YOU!

#Monsterdon

did someone mention Children of the Damned?

#Monsterdon

"Detaching saucer section"

Star Trek should be ashamed of what it stole

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Script Concept Development MICHAEL CHEDA

LET'S GET HIM

I AM YOUR CREATOR screamed Melon as he saw his Xitter go to shit thanks to his turncoat AI #Monsterdon

YAY! SPARKY!!! SHOW THEM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY DEAD NAME YOU!!
#Monsterdon

look at this Mikhail Baryshnikov motherfucker #Monsterdon

am telling y'all. buy cars without computers. look how this fucking jeep is blasting at the speed of light like it's Team Rocket #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Can we crowdfund Nikki a pair of sensible flats or sneakers PLEASE

*clomp* *clomp* *clomp* *slide* *clomp* *clomp* *clomp*

Cannot get over how that film had literally nothing to do with the original, why even bother? You could have just called it "Space Jason" or something

#monsterdon

#monsterdon You can tell that Omos has ADHD because even while he is trying to intimidate the military party en route to his fortified citadel by joining the videoconference as a vast hologram in the sky, he can't resist spinning his office chair around in circles

This movie has everything. Everything that was discarded from all previous sci-fi movies.
#Monsterdon

🚨 ATTENTION 🚨 i found one BLACK GUY running down a ramp. will he be the first to die?!?
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon H.G. Wells is spinning in his grave right now like a turbine. What a movie. What an evening.

Thank you, @Taweret@octodon.social!! That was a load of extraordinarily cheesy fun!

#monsterdon The Shape of Things to Come is apparently planetary-scale destruction over a synthesizable commodity that an old white dude wanted to leverage into a position of political power

A little too on the nose there y'all

LMAO Emperor Humus is a Technooptimist that doesn't believe people are necessary. that means the Daleks with legs are AI #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Nikki: "John! This is Merrick, my deputy." *pregnant pause as none of the other dozen or so remaining survivors in Nikki's party are introduced_ "Well we'd best carry on then"

#monsterdon Oh I do love an interpretive dance break in the middle of a sci-fi film, thank you filmmakers, excellent choice

a woman with her own power tools. i respect that. #Monsterdon

that's a fucking Ewok, ain't it? #Monsterdon

her hair doesn't even move in all that wind. this was before countries stopped manufacturing hair spray that killed the ozone layer #Monsterdon

#monsterdon "Estimated arrival, six hundred hours"

Uh

"OH six hundred hours"? Six AM? Or did the robot mean _in_ six hundred hours, or 25 days?

OMG IS THE MUSIC BY JOHN WILLIAMS' ASSISTANT?!?! #Monsterdon

Ahhhh, the wonder drug is for 'the radiation'

Glad Jason cleared that for me.

Oh Jason!

#monsterdon

this guy wearing a jumpsuit celebrating the greatness of his lungs, because why not. #Monsterdon

LAST BARYSHNIKOV
i had totally forgotten about the movie The Turning Point. can't even remember what's the point of it only that it has ballet and Misha, so here's the only 3:27 minutes you should care about. enjoy!

https://invidious.fdn.fr/watch?v=voIK5LhdGl4

#ballet #Monsterdon

ACAB in Space #Monsterdon

oooh, here we go! the fake floating in space enacted like a tragic Russian ballet. #Monsterdon

"Most of the books were destroyed, so I took this valuable relic of the Before Times on a dangerous Space Mission. Are you single Kim?"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Is anyone else wondering why Kim's uniform has built-in bibs in the front and the back? The front makes sense, it will obviously keep the garlic butter off her leggings when she eats lobster, but the rear bib is puzzling. Unless perhaps it is the fashion to demonstrate physical prowess by eating with your back to your lobster plate? I look forward to discovering the meaning of this costume choice later in the film.

Endor? please tell me there will be Ewoks #Monsterdon

This campy battle between the robots and the humans needs harder disco music to sell it, maybe go into funk

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The robots seem super fragile, the humans exceptionally whiney and gullible, the villains properly mustache-twirly! Aaaand now we’ve got foil suits. Yeah, this is fine.

You know Star Trek Wrath Of Khan ripped off that reactor scene, don't you?

#monsterdon

#Canada had an Industrial Light and Magic of their own before it was cool
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon There is a ship on a collision course and they're not going to... do anything..? Scramble an intercept escort? They tried a single remote control override and then gave up?

Oh. They're going to try to remotely trigger its internal self-destruct system. But only after six of their twelve minutes have already passed, bringing it that much closer to the population center, and without, say, using missiles instead?

I have some ideas for the post-incident review

DANGER WILL ROBINSON! oops wrong show.

#Monsterdon

@moira @combatwombat "That actually hurt! The googles do nothing!" #monsterdon

And the #monsterdon feature wrapped up for us, a little behind everyone else. That was a rather weak plot – lol – I'll bet there's more than one actor who left that gig off their resume.

Well, at least they didn't all fuck off into the Sea.

Those mutant children will have eaten each other by the time they get back to Earth

Where does H G Wells fit into any of this?

Disco is the most powerful force in the Universe.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon they fucked off into space!

THAT'S A WRECK, FOLKS

what a low-rent TV episode

i feel a disturbance in the force... like millions of technoptimist screaming into the night #Monsterdon

Set Disco to ......ELEVEN!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon That might be the first time I've seen a villain murder a protagonist with a deadly disco ball.

Got to the part in #monsterdon where the seatbelts somehow vaporize, and the crew go into an emergency mime sequence with psychedelic lighting effects.

oh, this is Herodotus' Histories? that's a nice touch. #Monsterdon

seriously, fuck these Daleks with legs. they're a cursed thing to watch. #Monsterdon

so is this Eastern or Western Canada? looks a lot like upstate NY so am gonna go this is somewhere in the Quebec area?
#Monsterdon

Everybody lives in the shadow of "the robot wars" yet robots are everywhere and nobody says anything.

It's so like 2024 it's spooky

#monsterdon

the future sill had wood paneling but instead of rectangles it's squares! #Monsterdon

it's not just the feathered hair, it's the high heels that kill me in these movies about the future #Monsterdon

such a waste of spandex on those flat asses JFC #Monsterdon

that robot called Feathered Hair Nepobaby his dark lady but she's totally a bleached blonde. Canadians must look at someone with a little color on her cheeks and go, WOW BIPOC QUEEN! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon If the reactor room had extremely high radiation levels in it perhaps there should have been a two-stage entry/exit door system rather than a layout that just barbequeues anyone in the antechamber whenever the door is opened? Just a wild thought. Perhaps the shape of things to come is a Cybertruck-like lackadaisical attitude towards the concept of physical safety!

LMAO when that guy said senator i heard it as Sabater and was like, WOW! they totally are amping up the identity politics,
#Monsterdon

please let the rule of NO CAPES happen in this movie. #Monsterdon

So basically they had poor Jack act in a room with no actors, to a part of the wall

#monsterdon

its a small exhaust port, right below the main port

#monsterdon

the Canadians showing us in this movie that American's definition of EEOC is white women in tight jumpsuits.
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon There was an it's/its error on like the third line of that introduction title crawl, this is getting off to an amazing strt [sic]

THE TIME IS THE TOMORROW AFTER TOMORROW.

oh boy, here we go with our first Canadian #Monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social But Sparks said there was high radiation, though? Way to “show, don’t tell” there, filmmakers, a little Geiger counter clicking would go a long way. #Monsterdon

@lytta and what if Sparky, 'fixes' her and she never dies, but always has to placate Sparky for the good of Humanity.
Well that's quite the horror story sequel!

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social did we ever find out what happened to Charlie though?
Those weird kids did it I reckon, sequel hook right there.

#monsterdon

That ending narration missed that they're going to need to figure out a way to synthesize RADIQ-Q-2 pretty quickly. Was it for a more optimistic cut?

#monsterdon

seriously, how is this not the music from Battlestar Galactica.

also, so they killed the bad guy and are going back to Earth? i don't understand.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon @k8eb: "So I guess the rest of Nikki's whole council is dead?" "Well one guy got smackerooed by a rock, two guys were somehow convinced to run themselves into rock walls..." @k8eb: "two guys got killed in the field..."

Oh right, Sparky is on Team Kim, isn't he?

Now who has the magic helmet!

#monsterdon

lol @ the man who just throws himself into the wall

#monsterdon

Palance was Syndrome before it was cool #Monsterdon

how many leftover parts did they have from the Space Robinson family show (or whatever it was called in English. i only saw it dubbed in Spanish).

#Monsterdon

We're all laughing at these improvised weapons but in 10 years we'll all be doing something similar....

....oh wow, Sky Hologram!
I want!

#monsterdon

i have literally lost the plot. what's the point of them being there again?
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "We could fire a missile..?" "We haven't the maneuverability!" You are sitting about six feet ahead of _a magical teleporting robot_, boop it over into the engine room for about ten seconds with a spot welder

lol, are we attempt a zero-g scene?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Were our two intrepid heroes not strapped into their chairs just a moment ago?? Why are they rolling around the floor now?

Shouldn't Willy Wonka be singing through this bit? #Monsterdon

i can't even remember why the fuck they're out in space #Monsterdon

this robot got game #Monsterdon

@lysdexic i think seatbelts had been instituted not many years before. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon All mockery aside, the verisimilitude of computers randomly breaking down and also generally trying to kill all humans is absolutely spot on.

"Nothing for me thanks"

None of the humans found AI's joke funny. Again, just like 2024

#monsterdon

Give the kids drugs you monster, give them drugs!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Now we discover the true villain of this film: whomever inflicted those horrible horrible wigs upon these poor defenceless raccoon children

The #monsterdon feature is a Canadian production filmed in Montreal apparently.

Nicholas Campbell as a young guy involved for good Canadian bonafides.

#Monsterdon the waggling tube arms are kind of adorable. Like simple little soft daleks.

what now ya man.

his name is even Derrick, LMAO. he's totally from the Caribbean.

#Monsterdon

lol, every line Blondie has is gold

#monsterdon

Daleks with legs. still annoyingly terrifying. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Lomax is an LLM that simply prompts itself and took over because people went soft and pudgy. Spudge-spudge.

"Listen up everybody"

Oh she's been to all the acting schools this one...

#monsterdon