@gnomon They're smart. They used a lot of lube #monsterdon

Did you check your pocket? She could be in there

#monsterdon
#ThePhantomPlanet

@whknott I love how they might have cut her lines when they realised her acting is bad, love that thinking on the fly.... #monsterdon

"Is that a rock in your pants or are you just happy to be rescued?" #monsterdon

@amyfou That's not how *any* of this works, to be fair

#Monsterdon

Please stand on this gravity plate for at least 10 gravity seconds.

#monsterdon

Whenever you see this tiny, tiny rock, like a kidney stone...think of me

#monsterdon

That's the heroin needle the writers were sharing. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

Kids, that's not how love really works, OK? This is just a movie. Keep that in mind.

Have you dreamt this Solarite

#Monsterdon

This is some Austin-Powers-Steamroller-level danger.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The motivations of this escaped Solarite lugging around a passed-out Zetha are baffling. What is the bug monster hoping to accomplish here? They're not using Zetha as a hostage..?

Ok. I don't understand. She sleeps with the lights on. When the lights go out, she wakes up and has to walk around aimlessly in the dark.
#monsterdon

@jsadow "It's the air we breathe, obviously. Universal gravity!"

#monsterdon

Who let the Tiny Rubber Alien out?

#monsterdon

Our space battle consists of the glowing poop darts zooming in circles around #ThePhantomPlanet and shooting it with their guns; several hits end up freeing the Solarite from its jail, but no one has noticed yet.

Eventually, the planet gets tired of this and zaps them all with some gravity wave that reminds me of the ripple guns from Gradius.

#Monsterdon

Some weird Dolores Faith facts:

-She's naturally blonde, but it didn't match her olive complexion well, so she died it black.
-She went deaf as a child but regained her hearing about four years later.
-She married the heir to the Maxwell House fortune, divorced him and then remarried him.
-It is unknown whether she is alive or dead. She supposedly died in 1990 in Florida, but others claim she was still alive and well as of 2006.

#monsterdon

Honey, I'm home!
#monsterdon

@Taweret SFX really not bad (makes Obama meme face)

#monsterdon

The guy in the monster suit has the best job in this movie... because nobody sees his face. #monsterdon

Feel like if the Solarites and the Phantom Planet team up they could take over Earth

That was a very precise shot from the Solarites there, but sadly it was to no avail.

Whitey rationalising Genocide VERY easily there....siding with the Last Solarite now.

#monsterdon

Director: Just hover your hands CAREFULLY over the broken wine bottles

#monsterdon

PREPARE FOR FULL FRONTAL

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Expecting the command for "RAMMING SPEED" to be given to their homeworld

Unwise, but hey ho..

#monsterdon

@fluffy when you've been in gravity jail for years

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Whoah, those Solarite roaring sound effects sound a _lot_ like TIE fighters! Did Lucasfilm borrow some sound design ideas from this film??

edit: and those laser blast sound effects sound like lightsaber hits! I really wonder whether the parallels were deliberate or if they were just drawing on the same library of stock sound effects.

So, how is the wall transparent, and what's keeping the solarite from tunneling through a normal one?

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

That feeling when you go to see the gravity plate duel and no one dies :cate: :cate: :cate:

#monsterdon

#monsterdon RUBBER SUIT MONSTER

"That's a Solarite?"

THAT'S A MAGMAR YOU SHITS #Monsterdon

hey, we got a monster!

#monsterdon

This is like some anti-bechdel shit right here. Despite the zillion things that they might talk about (first contact with an alien species, how to get him home, etc) these two named bros can't think of anything to talk about except a couple of girls and who gets to sleep with which one. #monsterdon

Rayton technology is all built upon the principles of the theremin. #monsterdon

@Taweret basic technology in spaaaaaaaaaaaace

#Monsterdon

you say you love her yet you're flirting with the earthman while he's in bed with an exposed chest... i dont buy it...

#monsterdon

why is your siren a theramin?

#monsterdon

This movie is really good at not explaining things and wants you to know it. I don't know why. There's not time to explain. Just go with it.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

Your airtanks contain humongo-air, from your home world. We can use that to embiggen you and send you home so I can woo Liana, who does not like me at all.

Yet.

^^ the plot at this point apparently

"What about my size?"

"You're big enough for me, don't worry."

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet #monsterdong

“I don’t know if I like you… or women.” And that was when Chapman found his truth. #Monsterdon

One of these days I’ll watch #Monsterdon with yall

Liara sucks, Team Zetha all the way

#Monsterdon

Liara is a very pushy twit, ain't she? #ThePhantomPlanet1961 🙄 #Monsterdon

Alright now everybody fuck already. #monsterdon

I was going to ask if we'd crossed the line from homoerotic to gay porn, but this is just the most baggy unsexy duel ever?

#monsterdon

That I bar must have taken hours to make. A masterpiece in prop design.

#monsterdon

The opposite of tug of war
#monsterdon

There's some kind of love polyhedron here but I cannot understand what's going on

#Monsterdon

BEYBLADES! BEYBLADES! BEYBLADES! BEYBLADES!

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Woah - did not see the walk on the asteroid wild side coming!

He be playin' Old Guy!

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb Everything in this movie is very scientific.

#Monsterdon

"You don't talk. I like you." REDALERT

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

you'd think these people could have at least kept the technology for sheets or sleeping bags or something. #monsterdon

You know our mattress technology is lightyears beyond yours...

#monsterdon

Alien pick-up lines for smol astronauts: "I'm going to take a walk."

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

Apparently these asteroid dwellers lack button-making technology.

Or maybe button-hole-making-technology?

The non-vocal alien wife-material chick hasn't got much of a chance… or does she?

#monsterdon

That rocket was too big for you anyway!

#monsterdon

Chalk on a stone tablet for calculations? Not even an abacus? (or better for the era, a sliderule, a sheet of paper, and a bit of computer time for the numeric solutions)

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

His astronaut friend is just floating in space trying to stay optimistic #monsterdon

Back at the moon base we see the ejected rocket on space and send another spaceship, crewed by different astronaut boys, to intercept it. Amusingly, they receive instructions via teletype.

We get a sequence where one of the rockets parks by another and one astronaut (they didn't send both of them this time), space walks over to the original rocket, entering I guess by opening the airlock door with an unseen clothes hanger.

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

You know how people sometimes make fun of Star Trek for not inventing the circuit breaker? These guys never invented the TETHER

STOP THROWING MEN INTO SPACE D:< #Monsterdon

Did they just parallel park a rocket? I'm pretty sure that's not how anything works. #Monsterdon

yeah let's still not use tethers. you probably won't go floating off into the nightmare void

#monsterdon

So "Zetha" is the brunette who never gets to speak. Played by Dolores Faith. All they ever do is "introduce" her. #monsterdon

Rocket ship controls look like a re-purposed washing machine.

#Monsterdon

🎶🎶”Sometimes, all they neeed is the air that they breathe…”🎵🎵
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

Breadfruit???? Why not synthesize a nice chocolate ganauche?

I'm getting a strong whiff of "Work Will Set You Free"

#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

He got all that information from a spot on a screen?

#monsterdon

Oh and there's a tea ceremony.

#Monsterdon

Maybe it's just these four people on the whole of the Moon?

#monsterdon

Disposing of the rocket was an interesting move on the part of the Ratonians #monsterdon.

hang on: you attack somebody, you get found guilty, then you become a citizen and get two hot chicks to compete over who gets to be your wife? I do not understand "their ways".

#monsterdon

"And don't call me Shirley, I mean Frankchapman!" #Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

"Between the two it's difficult to make a choice."

Sounds like a bride auction. For. Science.

#Monsterdon

"I think it's the equivalent of your 'hot dogs and mustard' , by pure chance...."

I can't take much more of this bizarre anti-Science they explain everything with

#monsterdon

or Shirley, you may call me Shirley #monsterdon

Never give up! Never leave a man behind! Never live a life without dogma!

#monsterdon

Old Guy has major Shakespearean delivery vibes. Impressive.

#Monsterdon

OMG! It's turned into a pro-capitalism film.

#Monsterdon

Uggh this asteroid has millennials too #monsterdon

HONEY! I SHRUNK THE

*checks notes*

ASTRONAUTS!

#Monsterdon

OXYGEN MAKES YOU BIG

THAT'S JUST SCIENCE

#monsterdon #phantomplanet

Guilty, now you are free o_O

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Wait… why smol now? #monsterdon

It's a shame because this movie actually cares about sound! At least someone scored it customized for the action happening

#Monsterdon

that's the whole trial? i mean points for not dragging out the movie, but like... #monsterdon

Okay, some weird stuff happened. I think the sleepy astronaut shrunk and now is naked, and then the dudes in scrubs wrestled him. He is now brought to a trial for which they gave him a suit but won't tell him the charges. He explains he's a space explorer and the dudes trialing him are like "yeah we know you're from space. we're not speaking your language but we can understand each other because... um... because."

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

“This is no time for explanations” he said, explaining. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon You don’t need to get your dates that way. You could order them a drink. You could just smile at them…

#monsterdon OK, so is our spaceman wandering around within his suddenly unsealed suit starkers, or did his underwear magically shrink while the rest of his suit did not? Whichever way that disjunction uhhh disjuncts it's gonna be terrible for us in the audience

Was waiting for when the women were gonna show up. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

ooooh our peroxide übermensch is nekkid after being tinyfied!

#Monsterdon
#ThePhantomPlanet

Sounds keeps cutting out a lot, for me anyway

#Monsterdon

HELP HE'S GOT A BONER #monsterdon

Ug, another patriarchal society....

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

the phantom planet that turns you into a twink instantly

#Monsterdon