I’ll keep it forever
but my solemn duty is to the air force
toodleoo
#Monsterdon

He gets a souvenir pet rock but I wonder if the Big Oxygen will work on it or if it will just end up an annoying grain if sand in his space boot #Monsterdon

"We've become friends. We would've become friends anywhere. It took a battle to the death to figure that out. Thanks toxic masculinity!"

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

#Monsterdon alright kids sit down grampa's gonna tell you about the time he got it on with two alien broads

that was extremely beard-coded

#monsterdon

Wait, they keep that deadly plates switched on ton all the time?
#Monsterdon

@amyfou That's not how *any* of this works, to be fair

#Monsterdon

"We've become friends here..."

Yeah, I'll remember the good times. Like the time your political maneuvering nearly got me disintegrated by Death Linoleum.

Good times. #Monsterdon

"we've become friends"
well, you did try to kill each other over a girl, that was the only way for guys to make friends back in 1961. #monsterdon

Her breasts look smaller now or is this a hallicunation?

#monsterdon

"Another hour and we'll be close enough to the moon for you to be found… of course I don't know if I can hold my arms up that long."

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon the fire in space effects are kinda neat.

Oh. Cluster “field”. #Monsterdon

he takes the souvenir stone home with him but when he gets big it's just a tiny grain of sand and he loses it between his toes

#monsterdon

Title drop! Okay time to wrap up the movie and go home.
#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

@jchaven yup, sounds about right

#Monsterdon

She asked him for one of his chest hairs. He gave her THOUSANDS

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

spaceship 308, aka the cat the old lady swallowed to find out what happened to the mouse. #monsterdon

I feel like this movie could've benefitted from the #MST3k mantra. Waaaaay too much exposition. #Monsterdon #YouShouldReallyJustRelax

I'm not going to lie, this movie really makes me uncomfortable...

#Monsterdon

Co-pilot's got some serious eye make-up game. #Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

WAT? Zaitha can scream?
#Monsterdon

space darts are not as cool as lawn darts

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Restored my (30m) girlfriend's (25r) voice and then returned to my home planet, AITA #monsterdon

IMZADI

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Chapman: "Everything in me wants to stay... and by 'everything,' I mean my penis."

#Monsterdon

what if he takes Zetha back to earth with him but breathing fluffy earth oxygen *doesn't* make her big

#monsterdon

The planet's atmosphere endows Frank with an animal magnetism that the chicks dig #monsterdon

I see another brick wall ending coming.

#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

She's pretty good at speaking for never having spoke before #monsterdon

Phantom Planet, OR "Frank Chapman finds love in a hopeless place" #monsterdon

So take her with you, there's room for two in that suit 🤨 #Monsterdon

Is "you have such an adorable little face" a compliment?

#Monsterdon

I mean, original Star Trek had panic curing Old Person Disease so sure, why not?

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

I've been thinking about what she said about them not needing to eat. The only way this could be true is if they engaged in chemosynthesis. For those who don't know, chemosynthesis is a similar process to photosynthesis. The difference is that instead of photons (sunlight) setting off the process, it's chemicals, typically carbon dioxide or methane. We have this on Earth - but so far, our discoveries have been limited to deep sea life. In order for this to be true for them, the atmosphere would not be breathable by Chapman. #PhantomPlanet #Monsterdon #BiologyTeacher

OH MY GOD SHE CAN TALK the magic power of screaming in xenophobic terror to erase disability

#monsterdon

Zetha, girl, you can do better than him.

#Monsterdon

You were perfect. Then you spoke. #Monsterdon

So in the end, the solution to the problem of too many Earth spaceships coming to the popcorn chicken planet is going to be to bring more Earth spaceships to the popcorn chicken planet

🤦

#Monsterdon

Quick! Somene get the giant wishbone so they can duel the Solarite to the death!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon So they just set up those lethal gravity plates for a ritualized duel that concluded less than a minute after it began. The lethal plates were separated from the bloodthirsty crowd around it by... personal space buffers? Certainly no protective railings or anything. And they just left the plates lying around like that? They didn't stow them away again immediately, or at least deactivate them?

Is this planet obsessed with the security of its people or not? GET IT TOGETHER

"You have such an adorable little face" - that's sizeist!

#monsterdon
#ThePhantomPlanet

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

OK that was a weird smooch too nothing works as it should on this weird teensifying asteroid

"At last, you can talk I can learn who you are as a person! You can challenge me intellectually and speak to me about... oh no. Oh no no no."

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

"You have such an adorable little face," I mean that's straight out of the Seducing Extraterrestrial Babes handbook right there. Classic NASA instruction manual

#monsterdon
#ThePhantomPlanet

He actually said this:

"It's great that you can talk. I have so many things to say to you."

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon i have many things to say to you frank chapman, like touch my boobies and smoochie my lips

I'm a little behind now because of mashed potato reasons. #monsterdon

Poor tiny rubber alien, we will miss you...

#monsterdon

Instant destruction. That is literally not instantaneous. Bye, Magmar. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon RIP space goofy, done in by the gravity plate (the actual in-movie device, not the cocktail)

so... we have about ten minutes left for that guy who floated away into space to show up again. #monsterdon

Wait so they defeated all but one, but that one alone could defeat all of them? #monsterdon

@hollie Only out of smol oxygen though

#Monsterdon

They've invented scream therapy!

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

@CactuarJoe you know, smetimes, when I don't want to know, I don't google! :ablobcatgooglymlemjumping: #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

The chaos of battle has brought them close enough to the moon for the jerk of an earth dude to let him jump over or something

The solar space puppy is no more... Bau bau :(
#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

@CactuarJoe Disappointed. I guess that’s why he wasn’t in the credits.
#monsterdon

plot twist: the gravity plates don't actually disintegrate anything, they teleport you to the Port Authority Bus Terminal 2nd floor bathroom

#monsterdon

"Go into your suit, seal it up so you're not exposed to our atmosphere...,"

AND THEN HE RUNS OUT OF OXYGEN

#monsterdon
#ThePhantomPlanet

the ytes will always choose each other before choosing the funk. always 🤨

#Monsterdon
#ThePhantomPlanet

Thank goodness the monster didn't step a foot to the right, left, forward or backwards!
#monsterdon

"You know, honey, I was skeptical when we bought that home security square, but you were right!" #monsterdon

nooooo poor Solarite 😢

#Monsterdon

The solarite got vaporized and you're all laughing at his finger foreskins? #monsterdon

So was the whole point of the duel just... To explain why they have a Sudden Death Panel on the floor in the cockpit of their planet? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon lmao the alien has to steppy onto the plate what a nice alien to give them a hand like that

@moira Slide! Slide! #monsterdon

The Solarite looks so confused all the time. Probably because the actor can't see a thing in that costume. #Monsterdon

From: Phantom Planet Safety Department
Subject: URGENT - High Gravity Plates

Again, on our most recent inspection, we found that the High Gravity Plates were left on, without any measures to prevent an accidental disintegration.

This is especially surprising, given that such an incident occurred to our own inspector on their last visit.

Remedy this problem. This is your FINAL NOTICE.

#Monsterdon

I also have an adorable little face and am so lovely.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 ☄️🪐 😱

Zetha can scream! And the solarite is very shove-y but not very good at fisticuffs or anything

Whoa the Solarite knows how to make non-theremin noises

Musical battle for supremacy of the tiny snacks universe?

#Monsterdon

They don't rope off the gravity plates when they're not using them?! #Monsterdon

the Solarite creature design feels deeply, incredibly racist to me

#monsterdon

Wait - she's supposed to be mute

#monsterdon

The Solarite was the Aztec Mummy of this film #monsterdon

ah, the disintegration pad. i see why this movie thought we needed that duel. #monsterdon

So mute girl has a voice, just not the will to use it? brain injury? vocal organ deficits?

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

What a world! What a world! #Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

"Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but can you show me the way out of here?"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

I changed my mind, the Solarite has not really turned this movie around, it is still pretty boring.

#Monsterdon

KEIL! GET ON THE PLATE!

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Is it me or does the Solarite have a Disney's Pluto look to him.
#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

Solarite is just a big puppy dog who wants to go home.
#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

#Monsterdon ooo nice slide alien guy

Monster wanted that necklace, but didn’t get it #Monsterdon

Wait, Retha can scream? #monsterdon

Hello and welcome to the planet of no doors.
#Monsterdon

Boop! goes the Solarite

#monsterdon

So, why did he shrink in the first place??? If his suit is not air-tight this plan will not work.

#Monsterdon #PhantomPlanet

#Monsterdon i love how confused and dopey the alien's face looks when it's not being lit on fire

"Hey, is she alright?!" - the Solarite, probably

#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

only the solarite can play theremin-punk #Monsterdon

those eyes. THOSE EYES.
i will be seeing them in my dreams this night.
#monsterdon

@amyfou I was noticing that as well. It's quite stylish.
#monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

That is the sound of a solarite farting.

#Monsterdon #ThePhantomPlanet

I like the Solarite because of his dog muzzle #monsterdon