This opening credits font is pretty great. Funny to think someone must've hand-lettered all those names with that jaggy font. Talent!

#monsterdon

METEORS!

#Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

Earth with no clouds, how 50s!

#monsterdon

Side story vaguely tangetial to tonight's #monsterdon

When my daugher was about 5, I got a call from daycare that she was doing something really concerning, and that I needed to come see.

When I got there, she was laying against the wall, acting oddly and saying "I'm stoned!"

It took me a very short time to realize "Honey, do you mean stoned like a statue? Like in Gargoyles?"

Because we'd been watching Gargoyles.

She shouted "Yes!" and got up to run off and play.

#monolithmonsters

@Crazypedia I'm pretty sure that breathing in Monolith Dust is pretty bad for your lungs. #Monsterdon

@Lazarou @Crazypedia The movie's over! That's how you know it's okay. Nothing else will happen.

#Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

@kcarr2015 Also everyone's going to die of thirst and famine now that San Angelo's dam is gone #monsterdon

#Monsterdon and now we’re set! That was silly! But thank you @Taweret@octodon.social for the fun!

Also this crossover will necessary feature 20 future Erins who help blow up the dam as part of unrelated mission to steal some 1950s guitar amps and change history, and a bunch of Pterodactyl knights show up to stop them but then end up battling the rocks, some of which will be kaiju in this adaptation. At least one stolen stomper will battle the giant rock kaijus.

#Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

so the rock likes water, but hates salt, but is okay with the sodium in the human body, but also silicon is involved for some reason cause... meteorites ig???

#monsterdon

no way the rocks are actually Tiberium and this movie is in the command and conquer universe #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Thank you @Taweret for organizing this Mock the Rocks, and all the rocking commenters as well!

I wanted to make a Saline Solution joke (the joke being that the solution was saline)

But I saw some other folks beat me to it.

Not gonna lie, I'm a little salty about it.

#monsterdon #monolithmonsters

Ya know, I think it's a lot more complicated to blow up that dam and not flood the town then they made it seem...

#monsterdon #themonolithmonsters

BOOM! WOOSH! RUMBLE! FIZZ!

THE END

What a salty take of a #Monsterdon feature!

Thank you for bringing us together to enjoy The Silicon Log Driver's Waltz, Extended Edition @Taweret it was fun!

I enjoyed this one. It had it all: great VFX, decent-enough phlebotinum for the era, a solid score, and coffee!

See you next week #Monsterdon nation 👋

#Monsterdon dam

#Monsterdon Our heroes hard at work, looking good to find a solution!
#TheMonolithMonsters

@amyfou it totally makes me wanna fire up a game of New Vegas #Monsterdon

anyway i like this one because it's just ... even if the science is typical 1950s batty, it's all about "oh shit here's a really bad problem and we're gonna science the shit out of it and fix it."

#monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

I believe fucking off into a salty flood is close enough to fucking off into the sea for #Monsterdon purposes.

well, most of the rocks seem to be intact but whatever I guess

ty for joining, everyone!

#monsterdon

seeing a lot of phallus's melting into the desert.....the acid has kicked in....

#monsterdon

The falling monoliths are pretty satisfying.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Oh, these were FRESHWATER rocks!! Everything makes sense now!

No, no it doesn’t.

Oh thank goodness we got the update as to where the Governor is!

#monsterdon

Better to ask forgiveness than permission. Blow that sucker!

#monsterdon

Salt mine is gone. Back to 100% unemployment.

#Monsterdon

And so Hank became a domestic terrorist

#monsterdon

Oh I think I figured out how they do the rock growing and falling effect. Shoving a rod up in the precut rock segments then pulling it back out. Something like that.
#Monsterdon #MonolithMonsters

#Monsterdon The Ents would approve.

#monsterdon "The governor still can't be reached, he's in an airport somewhere."

This reverence for private property and government authority in the face of a life-ending event is getting awfully close to being intense parody

wait, is everybody in this movie named Dave? #Monsterdon

The Governor is bugging out

#monsterdon

We're gonna kill the rocks... with stock footage! Of Niagara Falls!

#monsterdon

"There are no guarantees in science."

Wow. Unexpectedly nuanced.

#Monsterdon

Dam(n), that'll be a big explosion!

#monsterdon

about dam time!

#monsterdon

yayy, we're going to blow up a dam!

#monsterdon

@bunnyhero The noises the monoliths make are creepy 👀 #Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

#Monsterdon “In science, there are no guarantees.” Oh, just call out my grant proposals, why don’t ya.

Gosh the effects in this movie look good. They're simple, but effective.

I like this movie.

#Monsterdon

Luckily he's a demolitions expert #monsterdon

If San Angelo begins to look like a petrified forest, that'll be good for tourism, right? #monsterdon

@ottaross yeah the 50s were a wild time for gelatinous food crimes #Monsterdon

He's drawing all over that picture y'know....

#monsterdon

@ramsey I think you mean "sayline".

#Monsterdon

At least they're not trying to shoot the rocks.

#Monsterdon

brb
(adding salt to my shopping list) #monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Kid in an iron lung -- I guess that would've been a scary recent memory with all the Polio outbreaks.

We're so lucky to live in a time when Polio isn't much of a threat.

Because of the *vaccine*.

"It's ridiculous. But that's what they said about the wheel when someone first thought of it."

I'm sorry, what? When did someone look at the wheel and say it was ridiculous? #monsterdon

Once again Salt will save Humanity

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon As a science teacher, I am appalled at the lack of safety equipment - no mask, no gloves, no safety googles, no fume hood.

...How do YOU know what someone said about the wheel, Dave? #Monsterdon

"that's what they said about the wheel."
did they? were you there?
#monsterdon

Have they tried horse de-wormer? It's been known to work miracles. #Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

"I tried all of Dr Hendrick's bagel recipe - i tried flour, I tried salt, i tried water, I even tried yeast, nothing worked!"

"What if we try them in combination? Two, three at a time, even all at once?"

#monsterdon

haha a hand-press

#monsterdon

Oh no, the rocks are getting boulder #Monsterdon

Balsa wood barns are just not made the way they used to be.

#Monsterdon

Say what you want about this movie, but the video game adaptation was a lot of fun. #Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

oooo, they're rebuilding what they have destroyed, some very alien shenanigans

#monsterdon

Oh shit my hand's gone ps1 graphics! #Monsterdon

Frick yeah miniature giant rock special effects!
#Monsterdon #MonolithMonsters

I kinda want this movie to get a remake just for the people turning into rocks effect to look like anything at all.
#Monsterdon #MonolithMonsters

another ashy black incognegro dead

#Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

Ah the 50's, when the police would just commandeer an entire town's children and it was cool

#Monsterdon

I'm just an old country reporter

#monsterdon

Are they giving the Capitalist Bicycle Children something very, very dangerous to do

#monsterdon

@starkraving666 Because the dog is still alive, just stoned.

#monsterdon #monolithmonsters

Out of context #monsterdon line: "Look at the dog, he's as hard as granite!"

I found the Science Coffee Pot! It's a "Pyrex Flameware 6 Cup Coffee Percolator"

https://www.ebay.ca/itm/115962460306?

#monsterdon

I don't know ALL the science but it sounds like the solution to this problem is salt and vinegar flavoured microchips #Monsterdon

@gnomon 2024 People would not be as naive
Destroy the child

#monsterdon

if they don't make the rocks talk or do telepathy or something they will have made a grave mistake #monsterdon

You all laughed about my iron lung cure but who's laughing now? #monsterdon

the rocks grow hard and hard until they can't anymore then they tumble down and break up into chitlin pieces and some rain coming down makes them doing it again and again and again

#Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

They ARE monsters!!
#monsterdon
https://mstdn.ca/@bunnyhero/113462014087259179

quick deploy the national umbrella service!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon This movie just got very meteor-logical.

Collision of the sciences!

#monsterdon

so what I'm hearing is, the coffee is safe? so we're good?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon “I can’t stand the rain, against my window”…

William Schallert! Nancy Drew's father is supposed to give us GOOD news! #Monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

This is the best "grow your own crystals" fun kit I have ever seen.
#Monsterdon

[Ominous rock sounds]

#monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

Coming soon: 'Attack of the Killer Stalagmites! #monsterdon

"No one will date me. My intense coffee brewing methods scare all the dames away." #Monsterdon

Ahhh, NOW they are Monoliths!

#monsterdon

...and with the rain around them as well, slowly slowly the white dudes work it out.....

Doesn't sound like that coffee helps at all

#monsterdon

It drank your coffee!

#monsterdon

POP ROCKS IN THE SINK

#monsterdon #monolithmonsters

Obsidian mushroom!

#monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

Coffee! We have 1950s coffee talk!
Welcome back to Monsterdon coffee.
#Monsterdon #MonolithMonsters

#Monsterdon I wonder how many current sci-fi movies will look dumb AF in the future because we don't understand how some basic things work

"Silicone, what if you remove it from your body? Do you become a rock?!"

Wait, how is that coffee responsible for his prolonged bachelor status?

I guess anything is better than admitting you're gay in the 50s and 60s 😄

#monsterdon

Unfortunately, we're in somewhat mountainous California, not the Atacama. (Though I guess they get fogs...)

#monsterdon #TheMonolithMonsters

honestly I feel like this movie exaggerates the dangers of people wandering into the desert to pick up random rocks

#monsterdon

i want this Science Coffee Pot

#monsterdon