So if you make a new vampire they can only live forever for real if they stab themselves and somehow that makes you into the coffin girl?
ETA: OOOOOH she stabbed herself _and_ coughed up _her_ blood into Miriam which somehow Uno Reversed the whole thing. Okay.
Estate Agents are the true vampires though
now they should all do the Thriller dance
10 minutes left, and this movie is threatening them to be a very abstract 10 minutes
Engineer accidentally stepped on the Phaser pedal again
The pigeons have a damn good agent, so many scenes....
Damn, she just murdered an avant-garde synth player
junkies, this is just junkies
so wait the moral of the story is, don't be a lesbian, you'll turn into a junkie???
Pay phones were something that were seemingly everywhere and then overnight just disappeared. To the point of being the mark of a 'preiod piece' film. #monsterdon
Is she....[vague hand gestures]....you know....into trains?
Iβm not just a doctor, Iβm a phlebotomist when convenient!
"Of course a vampire is just a cannibal with good table manners." - Roger Ebert #monsterdon
You think she should see a doctor because she's thinking about a woman? hmmmm?
Geez dude don't push people to come out of the closet before they're ready
measuring the volume of my blood later and realizing that 4oz went missing and prematurely deciding that i'm a vampire and go back and claim my undying allegiance to catherine deneuve #monsterdon
#monsterdon @arrjay "what if we were lesbians but it was boring?" me: "I fear you have discovered the gay agenda"
Lamest vampire deal ever. No turning into a bat. No interior lighting. Can't turn invisible, no fangs, can be seen in mirrors. Centuries spent in an Obsession commercial followed by eternal life in a box covered in pigeon shit.
0/10, do not recommend.
vampires don't engage in as much cultural terraforming as they could. like with the kind of wealth and power you could amass over that time, and all the killing you get to do, you could really just get in the drivers seat of global political and art movements #monsterdon
lighting so moody that even the film grain is not putting up with it
Poor Mrs Blaylock, couldn't afford her electric bill
and also i'm so attracted to you that i keep seeing you and hearing the phone ring because i wish it was you, but you know, i don't know why i'm here.
"I don't know why I'm here"
I'm not aware that I'm in a vampire movie yet, you see. #Monsterdon
some people just live for 5,000 years, that is not a crime #monsterdon
Wait, is this partly a retelling of Bluebeard?
My Switzerland Husband.
also, good lord, how many people does she have up there?
David Bowie is now The Six Flags guy
Woo, that is some good, creepy makeup. #Monsterdon
Bowie turning into Anthony Head as he ages. #Monsterdon
Kid you are gonna get et. #Monsterdon
"We've shown there is a clock! That it can be tampered with!"
If you can survive the Timex people, yeah. #Monsterdon
I too, have sat in waiting rooms and quietly aged...
*stares at Polaroid, which depicts the back cover of βLodgerβ*
Yes, aging sneaks up on you. This is known.
This is how Europeans live, skulking around haunted mansions having very quiet arguments with life partners...
How many pallet loads of cigarettes have they gone through at this point?
Talking about slowing down aging and then lighting a cigarette is a choice.
NICE sunglasses, dude. #Monsterdon
David Bowie is bored of life. Even the best of Tom and Jerry gives him no joy.
#Monsterdon #TheHunger
pardon me, lily belle, there's an extraordinarily hot woman who wants to speak to me right now, i'm sure you understand.
Look, all I'm saying is that if we lived for a few hundred years we'd actually get some time to read all those books we've been meaning to
#monsterdon Not now, I'm watching the monkey show!
Yeah, being a vampire is great at night, but you ever try being a goth denizen of the darkness at 7:30 am on a Sunday? Doesn't scan :/ #Monsterdon
@strangefour David your lack of knowledge of Bauhaus is embarrassing me in front of the cool kids.
Patrick Nagel: The Movie
Is this what being high at a party with David Bowie was like? The sound track sounds what a throbbing headache feels like. Including the angry cat noises.. . . Coming from a monkey?
#Monsterdon #TheHunger
OOPS that building was in an episode of David Suchet's Poirot :D :D :D #Monsterdon
"Don't obstruct my deductions" - this is now my favorite comeback
@kshernandez @Taweret Me neither. I have no idea what I will be watching, and I'm going to try to keep it that way to go in cold.
#Monsterdon
π¦#MONSTERDON Goodbye!
β€οΈ Thank you @Taweret for hosting this tasty treat!
π ±οΈ and thanks @cherizilla for the Bingo card! My favorite was "Vampire makes good point". Subtle.
π¦And to all the members of the Real Time Film Analysis Squad: We'll be trying to make sense out of some of these scenes for a while. Please post if you possibly figure something out.
I might hang for double feature a while.
Wait, what? Did Sarah stab herself?
Now she's going into the Attic of Failures?
Thatβs a hour and a half of my long weekend Iβm not getting back.
#monsterdon
@LuluHelle At least one more interval of boobs, and more smoking, but basically yes
Did Tubi autoplay "Cabaret" after this for anyone else?
I think the whole thing was a treatise on the perils of smoking.
@Taweret oooh I missed the line about "Forever? No."
lol, legit thought "Monkey Effects" was someone's name!
oh wow, now she's in the coffin. too bad for you, Miriam.
And they all live spookily ever after in the land of blowing sheer curtains and pigeons, with vaguely European backdrops.
The end sneaks up on you. An underrated one to me. Thanks #monsterdon ers. Take care. See ya soon.
"Take your time."
I'm just gonna stand here and wait to get eaten. #Monsterdon
@hollie I mean, I'm thinking of nothing but the pigeons at this point
Doves like holy shit dude, this hotel has gone to HELL #Monsterdon
MOAR PIGEONS!
Hmph. Judgmental exes :/ #Monsterdon
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Sorry, just woke up - is the film over yet?
Well, I've heard these kinds of relationships can be volatile. Sorry, ma'am. #Monsterdon
Very......erotic #monsterdon
"C'mon, Miriam, time to lick the spoon." #Monsterdon
@wohali i think itβs have gay sex and you could get a mysterious blood borne disease that will kill you (the AIDS metaphor hit harder in the 80βs) #monsterdon
Oh you are totally gonna get bit, dude. #Monsterdon
She's got the monkey shakes. #Monsterdon
Reverse vampire:
π§ is only visible in a mirror
π§ invites you in
π§ gives you their blood
20 minutes more and no reason to believe there will be any substantial change in this movie's timbre
we won't have Susan Sarandon in a box by the end of it, I think, but I truly do not know where else this could be headed.
I only know that the path there will be a meandering one
I like how it's not that vamps can't be seen in mirrors but they can somehow project themselves onto mirrors...
#Monsterdon
And the most beautiful man blessed us with the most beautiful mug shot
it's the HR vampire sandwich, a guide for new employees in the vampire factory
turning into a bathaving your soul stolen from you and bound to the night for eternityturning into a bat
this is one of the least New York movies set in New York that I've seen
I don't have an opinion about that, it just seems remarkable how little the city matters to the plot in any way
Surprisingly this movie ends with the classic "Rocket Launcher Solution" so fond of Monsterdon movies
This guy knows EXACTLY what's going on.
She wasn't sending back the clams earlier....
Jeez, the bite already Miriam? You move fast lately, huh. #Monsterdon
Probably wanna ask what happened to the last one, there, Susan.
oh. no. i'm sure i didn't mean to spill this wine that i literally just spit out of my mouth for no reason other than to get my shirt dirty. quelle surprise!
Is this the seduction part? It feels like there was supposed to be a seduction part.
mr blaylock has not, in fact, gone to Switzerland.
A shipping crate? She's sending him to Abu Dhabi? #Monsterdon
Miriam has THE STRENGTH OF A VAMPIRE which is very helpful for moving a near-corpse
...So this species of vampire turns into a Return of the Living Dead-style vampire, immortal and unkillable but still decayed? #Monsterdon
"AMTA for ditching my boyfriend and him rapidly age before my eyes?"
surely he will get the squirty bottle for doing that?
BAD john not in the house SQUIRT
#Monsterdon