ahhh, that's why he wears the mask. I thought it was ceremonial.

#Monsterdon

YOGA FLAME

#Monsterdon

I like to think that the actor in that mask did all of his lines like "Mmmfmmf mfmmf mmmffmmmm" on set.

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Check out the wall vagina...

#Monsterdon

The Man in the Bronze Mask by Alexander Dumbass

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Cute little bat demon thing

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd

What's wrong with his hand? His hand looks better than either of my hands.

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

So he ? Summoned the portcullis to come down ? With magic ?

I don't think I'm following this movie all that well.
#monsterdon

If I wanted to watch brownface I'd put in Short Circuit.

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

That Hiya was downright judo chop in its efficacy

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

I think I have learned that if a Russian actor tries to sound Arabic, he produces something closer to a Scottish accent. Interesting… #Monsterdon

Sinbad, it's the man of your dreams!

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd

@LuluHelle #monsterdon

"What kinda accent you want us to do?"

"Just... something foreign, ok?"

What accent is that they're all trying to do?

#Monsterdon

"That a wise man would follow his dream? His sexy, bellydancing dream?"

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

This movie starts with a colorful sailing ship sailing somewhere, with a captain named Sinbad. The ship is visited by a cool bat looking thing that the crew think is an albatross. Uh oh.

One of the crewman shoots it with an arrow causing it to drop the golden flat thing it was carrying. The crew want to throw it away because its evil. Sinbad picks it up and has a vision of a faceless woman doing a Spooky Sexy Dance, so he keeps it.

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne The latter of which starred Sly Stallone. I hope.

#Monsterdon

the spinning prop treasure on a bit of string flying towards the camera while spinning is very cute, 70s core VFX for sure

#Monsterdon

It’s the ghost of Catherine Monro

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Illuminati confirmed

#Monsterdon

Weird unnecessary zoom on the necklace

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Launching my #monsterdon thread for "The Golden Voyage of Sinbad", a movie that has a boat in it so I'll probably like it.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie each week and praise and or make fun of it. Mute the hash tag if that's not your jam, join us next week if that is your jam!

Look, if you give me a stop motion monster I’ll probably have a good time watching the film #Monsterdon

it's a hologram!
#monsterdon

@xerozohar

#Monsterdon

fears this is going to be like Carry On Up The Khyber for ethnic representation....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon We've got ostentatious persian rug action going on... I kinda find the "arabic serifs" to be a nice touch. I kinda wonder when the musical interludes for the start of movies stopped being a thing?

Schneer, we meet again....

#Monsterdon

No More Drama for Kali 😞

#monsterdon #Sinbad1973

OMG Kali kinda looks like Mary J Blige

#monsterdon #Sinbad1973

That means they're still in the dream, right?

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

@strangefour #monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Woah! That woulda made a better movie than this!

Shaq isn't a very good actor, but he's trying. Gotta appreciate that.

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

@paco #monsterdon #WrongSinbad

idk... I think the moms and stepdad are pretty well-balanced characters....

Shaq is obviously cool with Dolemite.

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Genie was sleeping in an ancient boom box? Okay not the worst idea.
Is every one of his scenes gonna be sing talking?
#Monsterdon #Kazaam

In reality the kid fell on a stray heroin needle and the rest is just a hallucination.

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

No way this was the 90s and weren't any crackheads in the abandoned building....

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Who indeed?

(watching #Kazaam1996 live on #Monsterdon at https://miru.miyaku.media/ for anyone wondering...)

@davesdogmaggie

As puns go, that was pretty bad. But I've sinworse.

#Monsterdon

He's comin over for MORE than ribs! nyuck nyuck....

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Wtf? Oh there's the unneeded trans joke in a 90s movie for kids. Jeez.
#Monsterdon #Kazaam

Back to Sinbad. You made so many mythology movies Harryhausen. You even stuck a cyclops and a centaur and a griffin into this Arabian nights movie. But you never put a stop motion minotaur in a movie???
#Monsterdon

Sinbad: I see no shield.
Tom Selleck: …you will. And the company that will bring it to you: AT&T.

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1973

Der Gesit Aust ther Fleishe!!!!

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Cutting room floor has 5 hours of wizard making faces

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #withCommericals

@lorgonumputz coulda been a _lot_ simworse

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974

By standing very still, Sinbad gets the fountain to give him a cool crown. But he decides being a king is lame and so he gives the crown to Sumerian King Guy, who is probably better at kinging anyway.

For some reason, when he does this it heals the guy's face and also makes his cool mask go away. Sumerian King Guy is like "Praise be to Allah".

#monsterdon

JusticeForAchmed

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Hey, ya know what? That was a decent movie! #monsterdon

Denouement? Dey-sail-off!

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

It had Kung Fu! It had Titties! it had the Funny! It passed The Dolemite Test!

#monsterdon #DolemiteTest

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

Thanks everyone, it has been a hoot!

Special thank-you to @miru for the stream.

Leaving us with the famous last words: “Tie up your camel!”

#Monsterdon

Sinbad? Nah it was pretty good tbh #monsterdon

A valuable lesson was learned,
The king's face returned
And they fucked off into the sea.

-fin

#Monsterdon #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

No brick wall ending on this one. Ends on a pratfall. #monsterdon

@OliviaVespera It should've been like USB-A, where you have to flip it around twice before it will go in

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974

Always trust in Allah but tie up your camel.

#Monsterdon

And there they go... off into the sea to ...

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

ok got to agree with Sinbad here, I'd take Caroline over a kingdom any day #Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974

and they all fucked off into the sea #monsterdon

A fully fledged what now?

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

@crowbriarhexe 🎵 it's the master, step in time 🎵

#Monsterdon

aw, the pretty hat his friend gave him removed a bunch of doubtlessly painful scarring and helped restore his self-worth, just like their friendship itself

#Monsterdon #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

Crown of Untold Reconstructive Surgery...

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Allah's so happy with the guy, he gave him properly luxurious facial hair at the same time!

#Monsterdon #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

Ooh. It's a $100 Taco Bell giftcard! #monsterdon

And the fountain turns to piss

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyageOfSinbad

a real boy at last

#Monsterdon

Untold riches and melty-face cures. #Monsterdon #Sinbad1973 #GoldenVoyage1973

oh i guess so, sure why not, sinbad is just a good guy like that #monsterdon

Heyyyyy this crown fit my metal head perfectly!

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

A good and just vizier? Really?
#monsterdon

Great, more metal on my head.

#Monsterdon

It's a tea hat
#monsterdon

This is the second time I watched this and the only thing I remembered was Catherine Munro’s cleavage

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

I wonder if Sam Raimi saw this before or after he stole all of his ideas from Hausu

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon so Sinbad can walk around in the fountain and not get youth or shield of darkness? I'm unclear on the rules here

Korra oughta go in for the choke hold.

#monsterdon

@ottaross Pretty sure they had to keep watering her breasts too
#monsterdon

Good and Evil are both dead. True Neutral wins!

#monsterdon

they literally have a flying monkey watching them and they don't notice the freak of nature?!?!?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼🏴‍☠️🦜💰🧟🐉🐙😱

oh no its the worst of all possible worlds we lost both cyclo-centaur AND griffin dangit

VFX continuing to flex all over this movie 👏👏

#Monsterdon

That’s a bad astigmatism

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

most ungulates are like herbivores right #monsterdon

One neat part of this is how they've managed to stack _so many layers_ of compositing without everything going muddy or grey. I mean, grey-er, given grey cave rocks, but still.

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974

@Binder Added fo4r no reason I'm afraid
#monsterdon

Rawr, and such.
Arrg, and so forth.
#monsterdon

Griffon. I knew it had a name. I did.
#monsterdon

Gryphon ex machina

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Oh I see. They're exes.

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyageOfSinbad

Deus ex winged lion bird. #monsterdon

Wait he can't be both a cyclops and a centaur. That's just silly. #monsterdon

One does not simply plead one must IMPLORE #Monsterdon

The centaur is back from his smoke break, and he's PISSED. #Monsterdon

Now I take two pieces of your pizza!

#monsterdon

They finally rinsed all that crepe makeup off of wassisface. #Monsterdon

I do want to know why the fountain looked to be a model

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd