Dangerous?

Yes, but we won't leave anyone to guard the boat!

#monsterdon

"Dangerous? Dangerous?! You never told me it would be dangerous!"

[with shit-eating grin] "You didn't ask"

#Monsterdon

Lemuria is infested with Jawas. Got it.

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

A homunculus is a small artificial human or human-like being.[1] Popularized in 16th-century alchemy and 19th-century fiction, it has historically been referred to as the creation of a miniature, fully formed human or humanoid being. The concept has roots in preformationism as well as earlier folklore and alchemic traditions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homunculus

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Land ho, versus Watery Tart…

The exposure and depth of field are really good. #monsterdon

Yikes, bit Self Harm'y

Listen to Achmed, he's your friend

#Monsterdon

"Mandrake root and a few chemicals is all that is needed"

is a real "and now, MAXIMUM ENERGY" type line IMO

#Monsterdon

"drink the bongwater Achmed, drink it!"

#Monsterdon

@cd0 In a Harryhausen film, the point of the whole film is we get to see some badass stop motion creatures. Never a surprise to have a weird random scene with a weird little clay thing.

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Slave Girl, slavin' away 😬

#Monsterdon

Lute strumming? In this economy?

#monsterdon

@cd0

Koura is losing his asphyx

#Monsterdon

YET ANOTHER LIFE FORCE TROPE
THEYRE INESCAPABLE YALL
#monsterdon

To resolve our boat chase, Koura opens his spellbook and does a spooky chant.

Meanwhile the hot son is drinking on the deck to show again how irresponsible he is and hanging out near the figurehead, when the later is animated by Koura's evil magic. The hot son runs away then the figurehead yeets a nameless sailor into the sea.

The other sailors try to fight it with harpoons, which seems like an okay idea, but it doesn't work because the figurehead is wood.

#monsterdon

Once again, the compositing! THE COMPOSITING!

A New Hope didn’t look this good!

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Good lord how long does it take to raise the alarm on this ship?

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Hey! That's my good rope! Strangle my guys if you must but I just spent all day coiling that rope!

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Oh good another haunted figurehead, MY FAVE.
#monsterdon

@cocaine_owlbear #Monsterdon loves a flappy little guy.

"Just hit the breaks, and he'll fly right by."

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

So we get to see the Evil Boat, which is chasing Sinbad's good boat. It seems like it's a little less colorful but fairly similar in configuration. Maybe a little lower on the stern castle.

#monsterdon

So far I am loving this #movie, primarily for the
- cheezy characters,
- goofy dialog, and
- fantastic costumes and setting!

#Monsterdon #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

@arrjay if you think about it, a P.A. is just an electronic loud person

#Monsterdon

@crowbriarhexe it's on his onlyfans

#Monsterdon

This is EXACTLY like Master and Commander!

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

DAY POSING AS NIGHT!

#Monsterdon

have you ever gotten so stoned you got sold to a pirate ship going on a treasure voyage #monsterdon

#monsterdon "Every voyage has it's own flavor. This one is hot leather in bright sunshine rubbed with fenugreek.”

Erik Estrada realizes he's at sea

#Monsterdon

the name is misleading, lemuria does not have even a single lemur. food was good though. two stars

#Monsterdon

the crew feels pretty meh about Lemuria, best pick real places for a destination

#Monsterdon

How can we jam another proverb into the dialogue. Ah, here's a spot.
#Monsterdon

@katemarblez.bsky.social welp, you're just in time for #Monsterdon !

https://miru.miyaku.media

#monsterdon

Today is that day of the week that the Mastos turn to Monsters.

:pika:

A palm tattoo fucking hurts I bet

#Monsterdon

Oh man this movie is about a boat race. That means there is not just one boat, but two boat. Awesome.

Very excited to see the evil boat in this movie.

#monsterdon

Isn't that the guy who just left?

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Were you aware?

When you connect two round flat shiny things together, the translucent dancing girls that live inside them kiss.

#monsterdon

RE: https://mathstodon.xyz/@dpiponi/116275852846351782

#Monsterdon

Hrm, we have a Quest Item to be assembled

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd

We are now one step closer to completing the mystic golden trivet. Soon our dishes will be powerless to scorch our fine tables and countertops.

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

I want a tony winged homunculus to do my bidding, is that so wrong? They don't have souls, it's fine....

#Monsterdon

So the sultan is dead?

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd

ahhh, that's why he wears the mask. I thought it was ceremonial.

#Monsterdon

YOGA FLAME

#Monsterdon

I like to think that the actor in that mask did all of his lines like "Mmmfmmf mfmmf mmmffmmmm" on set.

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Check out the wall vagina...

#Monsterdon

The Man in the Bronze Mask by Alexander Dumbass

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Cute little bat demon thing

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd

So he ? Summoned the portcullis to come down ? With magic ?

I don't think I'm following this movie all that well.
#monsterdon

If I wanted to watch brownface I'd put in Short Circuit.

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

That Hiya was downright judo chop in its efficacy

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

I think I have learned that if a Russian actor tries to sound Arabic, he produces something closer to a Scottish accent. Interesting… #Monsterdon

Sinbad, it's the man of your dreams!

#Monsterdon #GoldenVotageOfSinabd

@LuluHelle #monsterdon

"What kinda accent you want us to do?"

"Just... something foreign, ok?"

What accent is that they're all trying to do?

#Monsterdon

"That a wise man would follow his dream? His sexy, bellydancing dream?"

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

This movie starts with a colorful sailing ship sailing somewhere, with a captain named Sinbad. The ship is visited by a cool bat looking thing that the crew think is an albatross. Uh oh.

One of the crewman shoots it with an arrow causing it to drop the golden flat thing it was carrying. The crew want to throw it away because its evil. Sinbad picks it up and has a vision of a faceless woman doing a Spooky Sexy Dance, so he keeps it.

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne The latter of which starred Sly Stallone. I hope.

#Monsterdon

the spinning prop treasure on a bit of string flying towards the camera while spinning is very cute, 70s core VFX for sure

#Monsterdon

It’s the ghost of Catherine Monro

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

Illuminati confirmed

#Monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for "The Golden Voyage of Sinbad", a movie that has a boat in it so I'll probably like it.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie each week and praise and or make fun of it. Mute the hash tag if that's not your jam, join us next week if that is your jam!

Look, if you give me a stop motion monster I’ll probably have a good time watching the film #Monsterdon

it's a hologram!
#monsterdon

@xerozohar

#Monsterdon

fears this is going to be like Carry On Up The Khyber for ethnic representation....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon We've got ostentatious persian rug action going on... I kinda find the "arabic serifs" to be a nice touch. I kinda wonder when the musical interludes for the start of movies stopped being a thing?

Schneer, we meet again....

#Monsterdon

No More Drama for Kali 😞

#monsterdon #Sinbad1973

OMG Kali kinda looks like Mary J Blige

#monsterdon #Sinbad1973

That means they're still in the dream, right?

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

@strangefour #monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Woah! That woulda made a better movie than this!

Shaq isn't a very good actor, but he's trying. Gotta appreciate that.

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

@paco #monsterdon #WrongSinbad

idk... I think the moms and stepdad are pretty well-balanced characters....

Shaq is obviously cool with Dolemite.

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Genie was sleeping in an ancient boom box? Okay not the worst idea.
Is every one of his scenes gonna be sing talking?
#Monsterdon #Kazaam

In reality the kid fell on a stray heroin needle and the rest is just a hallucination.

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

No way this was the 90s and weren't any crackheads in the abandoned building....

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Who indeed?

(watching #Kazaam1996 live on #Monsterdon at https://miru.miyaku.media/ for anyone wondering...)

@davesdogmaggie

As puns go, that was pretty bad. But I've sinworse.

#Monsterdon

He's comin over for MORE than ribs! nyuck nyuck....

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Wtf? Oh there's the unneeded trans joke in a 90s movie for kids. Jeez.
#Monsterdon #Kazaam

Back to Sinbad. You made so many mythology movies Harryhausen. You even stuck a cyclops and a centaur and a griffin into this Arabian nights movie. But you never put a stop motion minotaur in a movie???
#Monsterdon

Sinbad: I see no shield.
Tom Selleck: …you will. And the company that will bring it to you: AT&T.

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1973

Der Gesit Aust ther Fleishe!!!!

#monsterdon #WrongSinbad

Cutting room floor has 5 hours of wizard making faces

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #withCommericals

@lorgonumputz coulda been a _lot_ simworse

#monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974

By standing very still, Sinbad gets the fountain to give him a cool crown. But he decides being a king is lame and so he gives the crown to Sumerian King Guy, who is probably better at kinging anyway.

For some reason, when he does this it heals the guy's face and also makes his cool mask go away. Sumerian King Guy is like "Praise be to Allah".

#monsterdon

JusticeForAchmed

#Monsterdon
#TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad1973

Hey, ya know what? That was a decent movie! #monsterdon

Denouement? Dey-sail-off!

#monsterdon #thegoldenvoyageofsinbad1973

It had Kung Fu! It had Titties! it had the Funny! It passed The Dolemite Test!

#monsterdon #DolemiteTest

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974 #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

Thanks everyone, it has been a hoot!

Special thank-you to @miru for the stream.

Leaving us with the famous last words: “Tie up your camel!”

#Monsterdon

Sinbad? Nah it was pretty good tbh #monsterdon

A valuable lesson was learned,
The king's face returned
And they fucked off into the sea.

-fin

#Monsterdon #TheGoldenVoyageOfSinbad

No brick wall ending on this one. Ends on a pratfall. #monsterdon

@OliviaVespera It should've been like USB-A, where you have to flip it around twice before it will go in

#Monsterdon #GoldenVoyage1974