No cows were hurt in the making of this film

Well, one maybe

#monsterdon

"Doctor" he says, alluringly, "do you have a Geiger counter"

The fool believe the moon span out of the Earth where the Pacific ocean is, when we all know it is spiders.

#monsterdon

if this guy doesn't get eaten by a spider I'm gonna riot

I'm gonna fucking riot

#monsterdon

Mental note: never eat at Dutch's dinner.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Spiders are doing it Corleone-style #monsterdon

"If these readings are correct, every main character in this movie except us should already be dead"

I can't wait for this farmer dude to be killed by spiders, but he's probably the hero of the piece....

#monsterdon

8 dead cows!
#Monsterdon

I have a feeling this won't pass the Bechdel test...

#monsterdon

So, how quickly can a giant spider skeletonize a cow?

#Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

They call me "oscilloscope doctor woman"

#monsterdon

I love the giant demonstration model slide-rule, though.

Don't know why it's in a working science lab, but it's better than just random posters.

#monsterdon

oh my god look at that adorable computer. this movie is some kinda rollercoaster ride. #monsterdon

NASA's really not that hard a word to pronounce

#monsterdon

Big fan of Science Lady's Science Pantsuit

#monsterdon

@LK_877 I'm concerned they'll bite one of these sorry specimens and damage their own livers #monsterdon

@paco @steggy if you subscribe or have adblockers, YT has the movie as well https://youtu.be/dvFqGG2BIqY?si=YNCqlmp_mjsHX6Al

(🔗courtesy of @CactuarJoe )

#Monsterdon 🕷 #GiantSpiderInvasion

@srol

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

Kentucky… Arkansas… Wisconsin… they all kinda blend together… all tucked away over there

#monsterdon All this guy does is eat. Waddle and eat. He's getting porked up for the spiders, for which we cheer him on for. EAT. EAT. The spiders need your porky chunkersons!

Talk science to me Barbara 🔥 and I'll take off my truss.

#Monsterdon

A voice like oiled leather...

#monsterdon

Is he still wearing the waist cincher under his manly flannel?

#monsterdon

So the B-52 crashed?

#Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

@flowerpot I mean you're not wrong, but personally I'm coming off the Star Wars Holiday Special two days ago so I see this as high cinema by comparison

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

Some really nice cinematography going to waste in this movie!

I can't help, but think that an x-ray source detected at long range would be frying the townfolk?

#Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

Ah, misty morning in Wisconsin. Cheese curds drifting in the fields... #Monsterdon

Most of us don't remember this, but all American homes used to have automated banjos that would start playing whenever we said something incestuous

#monsterdon

A gamma ray shower? Well, at least SOMEONE on this film took one. #Monsterdon

Anyway, we get a stock footage montage of Air Defense shit, spinning radars, B52 bombers and other nuclear war alert stuff. Then we cut to the Sheriff reading a flying saucer book and talking to someone on the phone, being a boob until they hang up.

In the next scene, Terry is getting some refrigerator food and is surprised by the Dad, who is tiptoeing about in his long underwear brandishing a gun. There is no violence though, only goofy music and banter.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

#monsterdon Yay! Foreshadowing by multiple lenses. I love it. Mmmmm.... multiple lenses. That's how you know something lovely and creepy-crawly is coming. They don't eat flies, they eat PEOPLE!

thank god, someone not sculpted out of grease #Monsterdon

Top date sites:
Junkyards

#monsterdon

The fried chicken is why he has to wear that waist cincher.

#monsterdon

I'm worried the meteorite might have an Aztec mummy along for the ride #monsterdon

Lets go spiders lets go 👏 👏 Let's go spiders lets go 👏 👏 (baseball ba-da-da-doo, dee-doo) SPIDERS! #monsterdon

Della Street #monsterdon

Does he sleep in shapewear? #monsterdon

#monsterdon “Should I fake my orgasms?" -- Ma'am, call Jane’s Whorehouse, they open at 10am!

#monsterdon Red Phones, like the Red Stapler, are all hot.

@wohali@octodon.social

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

It’s the 70’s! This is Arthouse, Auteur Cinema!

Meanwhile, the air force. #monsterdon

Normal
Top Secret
Topper Secret
Moar Topper Secreter
Most Toppest Secretest

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Was Alan Hale's first line in this movie "Hi, little buddy!"?

Yes, it was.

#Monsterdon #GilligansIsland

A biker just wiped out for no reason. We can not blame that on the meteor from Mars. He was just drunk. Like most of this cast of characters.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

Everything is happening so fast! I can barely keep up! Let me just see if I understand… Sin… bad?

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion1975 *random explosion* o_O

You can tell it's the 70s because there are still newspapers to blow around.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

"Sometimes the only time I know you're still alive is when you flush the toilet" all-time great hateful dialogue

#Monsterdon

Less than 5 mins in and we have ✅ Partial Nudity! #monsterdon

Wayne Franzen, the founder of Franzen Brothers circus, was killed in 1997 by a tiger in front of 200 school children in Pennsylvania.

#monsterdon

Ev is far too horny to be in this movie. I imagine this means she will not make it very far.

#Monsterdon

Sheriff is going for that sexy 3 buttons unbuttoned look. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Bell bottoms sighted. Horny housewife registered. Meteor/Black Hole is singing as they do. Woowoowoo.

#monsterdon Oh saints preserve us, giant spiders _and_ fast-talking preachers‽

"If you were five years older I'd jump ya!"

oh yeah, going to pick up your date and the "hot mom" is hitting on you

whose fantasy IS this film anyway??

#monsterdon

launching my #monsterdon thread for #TheGiantSpiderInvasion, in which I guess some Giant Spiders appear and attack Wisconsin, punishing it for its many crimes.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie every week and provide quality commentary. If that is not your jam, you might want to mute the hash tag, otherwise you will see over 9000 posts about a giant spider terrorizing the sconies.

Classy ladies like this have been absent from cinema for too long. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Mmmm... you can feel the Boomer love can't you? I can.

The Skipper is reading his erotic fiction at work.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

I'm here for the jaunty space tuba. #monsterdon

Wait, this isn't about giant ants? I came here for giant ants. #monsterdon

It's go time!

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON Post Movie Poll

Best cleavage?

@diazona @jgamble I wouldn't want the movie itself, but if we could buy the ginormous spider we could probably build a decent movie of our own around it given the great minds in the #monsterdon crowd

@lytta @diazona @jgamble ok that's reasonable. i think we should try and buy octaman lol. but also look it's unsold!!!!!! i wonder if we could really lowball it in like a direct bid. but i would say like $100 would be more in the ballpark rather than uh $60k
#monsterdon

@jonny @diazona @jgamble we should probably make sure it's a movie that doesn't have creepy incest content, first #monsterdon

@ramsey @RufusJCooter Somehow the people writing the script overlooked trying to jazz those characters up, so they were almost normal #monsterdon

@diazona @jgamble ok officially new goal for #monsterdon: buy the rights to one of these movies and put it in the public domain

@Zerofactorial @RufusJCooter They seemed to build a genuine respect for each other, quickly. #Monsterdon

@RufusJCooter I feel like he hated that misogynist crap they made him say when he met the other doctor, it never showed up again afterwards #monsterdon

@floatybirb i don't know how this story universe merged with starcraft but for me it just did ok so that's canon too #monsterdon

@floatybirb I have never actually watched a Monsterdon movie with everyone but always love following along. I feel like I’d miss out if I actually tried to watch while participating, but I might try it sometime.

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb i think the actual ideological contents of christianity would probably have to get adapted for each planet, so spider christianity is probably some variation on a set of themes. christian god probably has a playbook or system for determining the flavor of christianity that is most effective for that planet. and the abundance of denominations on earth is one substrategy that plays on how mutually opposing factions is actually a stable strategy for humans. on other planets there is a more coherent singular christianity where e.g. Jesus's main value is "always remember to unclog the vespene geysers before the rapture" instead of forgiveness #monsterdon

@ricci @diazona @lytta @Brookside Oh, wow. I thought the flare gun did that. Now, I get it. The flare gun was to mark the location for the missle!

#Monsterdon

I mean, at least it had token boob content in it. #monsterdon

That was so much fun! Thanks, @Taweret, for hosting! Thanks, @Cherizilla, for the #MonsterdonBingo (I got a bingo!)!

My alt on this brand new server worked out really well. I think I saw more #Monsterdon posts than on my main server account. There were too many to keep up with, at least.

Registrations are closed on this server, but if you're interested in creating an alt here, PM me.

Hint: THIS MOVIE HAD A SUPER-8 RELEASE.

#monsterdon

@ricci @diazona @Brookside like always, I only know half the things I know about what happened from reading other people's comments. otherwise i'd be REALLY lost

#monsterdon

@apLundell @Infoseepage I remember we had a giant slide rule in my high school for pedagogical purposes. It was just as electronic calculators were coming out #monsterdon

@diazona @lytta @Brookside well SOMEONE here obviously paid attention to the movie, sheesh

... but why?

#monsterdon

This movie was banned in germany for literally causing brain damage.

#monsterdon

@lytta @Brookside Thanks

...I think 😂 (I may have felt better not knowing lol)

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

@jonny It's a fool who looks for logic in the plot of the Giant Spider Invasion

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

@Lazarou @diazona Also that movie was almost as bad as Nymphomaniac 1&2 so it is is similar in that way as well.

#Monsterdon

Hell yeah GUNK

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou lol but I dunno if enough humans died to qualify it for that title

I could definitely see it being one of the most anti-human-who-is-viewing-it movies we've had though

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

since I missed the movie, I'm just going to assume it ended with the biggest and nastiest spider exploding and saying "NOOOOO"

#monsterdon

@floatybirb
This was a fun telling! 😸🖤🕷️

#Monsterdon

@jonny It is like the parable of the sower in that you can come to God by being a physicist late and still be saved or like the parable of the talents because if you don't use all of your abilities to fight giant spiders God will be angry and you will be eaten.

#Monsterdon

There's something so pleasing in the particular way marionettes lightly tap their limbs on the ground when "walking"

#Monsterdon

I'm unsure how the geodes could be subjected to pressures great enough to create industrial diamonds, while still protecting poofy spiders safely #monsterdon

@jonny Clearly, the Giant Spider Generals have never seen Starship Troopers

#Monsterdon

"That big one is like a mother queen bee"

"Yes, and she's activated all the spiders in the area"

Ah yes, science

#Monsterdon

@jonny I think you’ve officially put more effort into backstory than the original screenwriters at this point. #monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 „There was supposed to be a dramatic shot of the giant spider crushing the house by having the spider dropped from a crane onto it while a bulldozer chained to the back of the house would pull away. However, when the shot was filmed, the spider's legs all went straight up into the air. The crew inside working it's arms were nearly killed when broken wood from the demolished house went through the spider, coming close to impaling them.“ 😅 #monsterdon

and since the spiders were sent by christian god as a plague, that means that god has a bunch of other worlds of christian animals of various kinds that it can dispatch as plagues to sinner planets, and the nydus portal is sorta the best god can do to transport its armies around the universe. christian god is not necessarily a transcendent being, but just a species/being with access to pretty good wormhole tech and a sprawling bureaucratic network of militaries kept in the dark about each other #monsterdon

so which one was william shatner?

#monsterdon

If you wanna see a really bad 70s preacher movie, may I suggest If Footman Tire You, What Will Horses Do?

The monster in that is Christianity.

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social he wanted to die, he was tired of it all #monsterdon

@jonny If only we could play Spiders in Starcraft

Zerg just don't have the same charm

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion