Lets go spiders lets go 👏 👏 Let's go spiders lets go 👏 👏 (baseball ba-da-da-doo, dee-doo) SPIDERS! #monsterdon

Della Street #monsterdon

Does he sleep in shapewear? #monsterdon

#monsterdon “Should I fake my orgasms?" -- Ma'am, call Jane’s Whorehouse, they open at 10am!

#monsterdon Red Phones, like the Red Stapler, are all hot.

@wohali@octodon.social

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

It’s the 70’s! This is Arthouse, Auteur Cinema!

Meanwhile, the air force. #monsterdon

Normal
Top Secret
Topper Secret
Moar Topper Secreter
Most Toppest Secretest

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Was Alan Hale's first line in this movie "Hi, little buddy!"?

Yes, it was.

#Monsterdon #GilligansIsland

A biker just wiped out for no reason. We can not blame that on the meteor from Mars. He was just drunk. Like most of this cast of characters.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion

Everything is happening so fast! I can barely keep up! Let me just see if I understand… Sin… bad?

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion1975 *random explosion* o_O

You can tell it's the 70s because there are still newspapers to blow around.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Less than 5 mins in and we have ✅ Partial Nudity! #monsterdon

Wayne Franzen, the founder of Franzen Brothers circus, was killed in 1997 by a tiger in front of 200 school children in Pennsylvania.

#monsterdon

Ev is far too horny to be in this movie. I imagine this means she will not make it very far.

#Monsterdon

Sheriff is going for that sexy 3 buttons unbuttoned look. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Bell bottoms sighted. Horny housewife registered. Meteor/Black Hole is singing as they do. Woowoowoo.

#monsterdon Oh saints preserve us, giant spiders _and_ fast-talking preachers‽

"If you were five years older I'd jump ya!"

oh yeah, going to pick up your date and the "hot mom" is hitting on you

whose fantasy IS this film anyway??

#monsterdon

launching my #monsterdon thread for #TheGiantSpiderInvasion, in which I guess some Giant Spiders appear and attack Wisconsin, punishing it for its many crimes.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie every week and provide quality commentary. If that is not your jam, you might want to mute the hash tag, otherwise you will see over 9000 posts about a giant spider terrorizing the sconies.

Classy ladies like this have been absent from cinema for too long. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Mmmm... you can feel the Boomer love can't you? I can.

The Skipper is reading his erotic fiction at work.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

I'm here for the jaunty space tuba. #monsterdon

Wait, this isn't about giant ants? I came here for giant ants. #monsterdon

It's go time!

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON Post Movie Poll

Best cleavage?

@diazona @jgamble I wouldn't want the movie itself, but if we could buy the ginormous spider we could probably build a decent movie of our own around it given the great minds in the #monsterdon crowd

@lytta @diazona @jgamble ok that's reasonable. i think we should try and buy octaman lol. but also look it's unsold!!!!!! i wonder if we could really lowball it in like a direct bid. but i would say like $100 would be more in the ballpark rather than uh $60k
#monsterdon

@jonny @diazona @jgamble we should probably make sure it's a movie that doesn't have creepy incest content, first #monsterdon

@ramsey @RufusJCooter Somehow the people writing the script overlooked trying to jazz those characters up, so they were almost normal #monsterdon

@diazona @jgamble ok officially new goal for #monsterdon: buy the rights to one of these movies and put it in the public domain

@Zerofactorial @RufusJCooter They seemed to build a genuine respect for each other, quickly. #Monsterdon

@RufusJCooter I feel like he hated that misogynist crap they made him say when he met the other doctor, it never showed up again afterwards #monsterdon

@floatybirb i don't know how this story universe merged with starcraft but for me it just did ok so that's canon too #monsterdon

@floatybirb I have never actually watched a Monsterdon movie with everyone but always love following along. I feel like I’d miss out if I actually tried to watch while participating, but I might try it sometime.

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb i think the actual ideological contents of christianity would probably have to get adapted for each planet, so spider christianity is probably some variation on a set of themes. christian god probably has a playbook or system for determining the flavor of christianity that is most effective for that planet. and the abundance of denominations on earth is one substrategy that plays on how mutually opposing factions is actually a stable strategy for humans. on other planets there is a more coherent singular christianity where e.g. Jesus's main value is "always remember to unclog the vespene geysers before the rapture" instead of forgiveness #monsterdon

@ricci @diazona @lytta @Brookside Oh, wow. I thought the flare gun did that. Now, I get it. The flare gun was to mark the location for the missle!

#Monsterdon

I mean, at least it had token boob content in it. #monsterdon

That was so much fun! Thanks, @Taweret, for hosting! Thanks, @Cherizilla, for the #MonsterdonBingo (I got a bingo!)!

My alt on this brand new server worked out really well. I think I saw more #Monsterdon posts than on my main server account. There were too many to keep up with, at least.

Registrations are closed on this server, but if you're interested in creating an alt here, PM me.

Hint: THIS MOVIE HAD A SUPER-8 RELEASE.

#monsterdon

@ricci @diazona @Brookside like always, I only know half the things I know about what happened from reading other people's comments. otherwise i'd be REALLY lost

#monsterdon

@apLundell @Infoseepage I remember we had a giant slide rule in my high school for pedagogical purposes. It was just as electronic calculators were coming out #monsterdon

@diazona @lytta @Brookside well SOMEONE here obviously paid attention to the movie, sheesh

... but why?

#monsterdon

This movie was banned in germany for literally causing brain damage.

#monsterdon

@lytta @Brookside Thanks

...I think 😂 (I may have felt better not knowing lol)

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

@jonny It's a fool who looks for logic in the plot of the Giant Spider Invasion

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

@Lazarou @diazona Also that movie was almost as bad as Nymphomaniac 1&2 so it is is similar in that way as well.

#Monsterdon

Hell yeah GUNK

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou lol but I dunno if enough humans died to qualify it for that title

I could definitely see it being one of the most anti-human-who-is-viewing-it movies we've had though

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

since I missed the movie, I'm just going to assume it ended with the biggest and nastiest spider exploding and saying "NOOOOO"

#monsterdon

@floatybirb
This was a fun telling! 😸🖤🕷️

#Monsterdon

@jonny It is like the parable of the sower in that you can come to God by being a physicist late and still be saved or like the parable of the talents because if you don't use all of your abilities to fight giant spiders God will be angry and you will be eaten.

#Monsterdon

There's something so pleasing in the particular way marionettes lightly tap their limbs on the ground when "walking"

#Monsterdon

I'm unsure how the geodes could be subjected to pressures great enough to create industrial diamonds, while still protecting poofy spiders safely #monsterdon

@jonny Clearly, the Giant Spider Generals have never seen Starship Troopers

#Monsterdon

"That big one is like a mother queen bee"

"Yes, and she's activated all the spiders in the area"

Ah yes, science

#Monsterdon

@jonny I think you’ve officially put more effort into backstory than the original screenwriters at this point. #monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 „There was supposed to be a dramatic shot of the giant spider crushing the house by having the spider dropped from a crane onto it while a bulldozer chained to the back of the house would pull away. However, when the shot was filmed, the spider's legs all went straight up into the air. The crew inside working it's arms were nearly killed when broken wood from the demolished house went through the spider, coming close to impaling them.“ 😅 #monsterdon

and since the spiders were sent by christian god as a plague, that means that god has a bunch of other worlds of christian animals of various kinds that it can dispatch as plagues to sinner planets, and the nydus portal is sorta the best god can do to transport its armies around the universe. christian god is not necessarily a transcendent being, but just a species/being with access to pretty good wormhole tech and a sprawling bureaucratic network of militaries kept in the dark about each other #monsterdon

so which one was william shatner?

#monsterdon

If you wanna see a really bad 70s preacher movie, may I suggest If Footman Tire You, What Will Horses Do?

The monster in that is Christianity.

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social he wanted to die, he was tired of it all #monsterdon

@jonny If only we could play Spiders in Starcraft

Zerg just don't have the same charm

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

@jonny Always have your rearguard operate in shifts, specifically so this doesn't happen.

#monsterdon

So... huh. That was something?
Full marks to whoever did the score & incidental music!
Not sure what the deal was with the revival meeting subplot?
Also unsure of the physics of the black hole opening a portal to the giant spider universe? And why just 1 was giant, and the rest were regular sized? And why they were in geodes? Or what NASA has to do with giant spiders?

Dah well.

Thanks everyone for joining in! Thanks @Taweret for hosting! Have a great week & see you next Sunday!

#Monsterdon

I hope they didn't lease those spiders. They've got to get them back to the agency and get all the ice cream off them, or they won't get their deposit back.

#monsterdon

@Infoseepage I was entertained by seeing characters die, I just needed more of it.

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion #ᄽºὁȍ ‿ őὀºᄿ

This movie loves a vehicle swerving lightly off the road and immediately bursting into flame

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon be afraid of god and spiders is the moral of the movie?

#monsterdon a classic monsterdon ending
The end
Love you all

I think the giant spider's going to regret eating that sheriff #monsterdon

Barbequed chicken is great, close-ups of raw bones on a grill doesn't really sell it though

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon the off gassing from melting this giant spider prop caused climate change

So did Polka Fest happen or what? #Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

That was not the worst monster movie we have seen. But that was a very bad movie. Possibly the most average of bad movies of the 70s. But very very greasy.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

The Chair-Plane paid handsomely for this product placement

#Monsterdon

These are 1970s dollars, but it made $15 million off a budget of $300,000 #monsterdon

Even the spiders couldn't tolerate these people long enough to stick around and eat them all

For not being in the pantheon of truly awful movies, that was truly awful, aside from some cute spiders. Thanks @Taweret for hosting and everybody for posting! Until next week....

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

thanks @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting & thanks everyone for the company, what a tangled web we weave indeed

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

Did we just witness the origin of THE STUFF??

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon thats right ACASF (all cops are spider food)

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion1975 i'm melting

meeeeelllllttttiiingggg

He's trying to pistol whip the spider with his holster.

#monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

#Monsterdon

A movie that "...managed to get network play on both ABC and CBS, was mocked on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and made somewhere in the range of 15 to 22 million dollars on a budget of $300,000."

And apparently the rights went up for auction last Tuesday.

#monsterdon #thegiantspiderinvasion thx @tawaret see yall next week

The spider was then turned into melted ice cream. The end. #monsterdon

-fin!

We had

And that's #Monsterdon #GiantSpiderInvasion

that movie really grossed me out and i'm not talking about the spiders. i loved the gigantic spider scenes though! and of course the live commentary cracked me up, thanks everyone, and of course thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

#monsterdon

I'm gonna go fuck off into the portal to the giant spider dimension. Goodnight #Monsterdon

Wow. Even though I didn’t expect any denouement, the credits appeared with jarring suddenness.

This movie is almost 50 years old. And it’s not good. Worse with the weird local tv intro that the dvd has.

Alan Hale, Jr does have screen charisma, though. #monsterdon

well actually I bet a bunch of the lil tarantulas are just fine. I'm rooting for them

#monsterdon

And we end with the preacher fucking off into his sermon.

#Monsterdon

... and the black hole is still there, to this day, spitting out giant spiders whenever humanity is in need of a hero

#monsterdon

@jchaven This movie isn't even very old.

#Monsterdon

Okay, so the spiders come from the black hole, which they're going to try to block by dropping a neutron bomb on it.

The black hole that the scientists just walked up to, to have a look.

#Monsterdon #TheGiantSpiderInvasion

So the spider was full of pudding #monsterdon

Who knew spiders were made of ice cream? #monsterdon

Did anyone else stop watching after the boobs? I'm just paused there.

#monsterdon