sorry I didn't have much to say during that one. you can only say 'why is this guy so oily' so many times #monsterdon

#monsterdon "What do you think about sex."
"I think it's great."
"So do I, Nancy."

DIALOGUE SO SIZZLING HOT THAT UNCHAPERONED SINGLES WILL NOT BE SEATED

The entirety of this guy’s game:
#Monsterdon

all your neighbors think you're watching porn now

you're welcome

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

70's: "A horror got unleashed and people is dying. Wr need to end this"

2020's: "We are sorry for the inconveniece caused. Rest asure we are working hard to solve the misalignment of our latest model"

Is that a goddamn kleenex heiroglyph
#Monsterdon

The Old One of whom they speak

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

Is that the spot where Jason fights the skeletons?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

I feel like whether they exist or not is going to become pretty important.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

And so they fucked off into the night, to settle down in a nice quiet town like Insmoth or Derry.

That wasn't bad for a Lovecraft movie, which is more a statement about how bad the adaptation of his work is than it is a statement of quality. Probably would've been significantly better if Dean Stockwell had, you know, acted at some point.

Thanks for making it fun everyone, but as usual the Owlbear is ducking out before the second feature. Love you guys.

Take care of each other. Be kind, spread love, make sure to emote only when summoning elder gods from the Outer Dark.

(And also… why does no one give a fuck about Elizabeth? Is it because she was a brunette?)

Goodnight.

#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

I wonder what Yog-Sothoth is up to

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The best part of living in an old falling down mansion would be having one room upstairs that you insist must always stay locked and bolted.

"I want to see my girlfriend!"
Gimme a remake of this movie where lesbian looses her bisexual crush to a crazy cult man.
#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror

kind of hard for me to take a character named Wilbur seriously

#monsterdon

"I would like....a Lovecraftian funeral please"

#Monsterdon

Aw crap, Scientology.

#Monsterdon

Nancy is that rare breed of protagonists who don’t so much as fall into bad circumstances but are instead determined to find them, at all costs.
#Monsterdon

I would like to suggest a remake to this where Wilbur has to get a crew and plan a heist to steal the Necronomicon from Miskatonic University.
#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror

Well, I missed a chunk of that thanks to Work Problems (though I still had an earbud in), but that was probably for the best. It's been a bit but I'm pretty sure the original story had less feminine moaning. 😅

Goodnight #monsterdon, remember to keep an eye out for @Taweret 's poll for next week, and see y'all then!

Uhh…

#Monsterdon

You have reached Yog-Sothoth, old one terror of unmentionable horror. I'm not home right now. Leave a random assortment of garbled nonsense at the beep. Thanks. #monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror

"i've got to get to the library right away!" is not something you often hear in a movie #Monsterdon 🦑 #TheDunwichHorror1970

#Monsterdon i wonder what the theremin is up to

#monsterdon Well, he made some dumb mistakes, but I'm still impressed the library security guard was ready for action like this.

#monsterdon in scenes like this, you can see why movies usually have a score

#Monsterdon 👶 🧑‍🔬 🧑‍🔬🤰👹🫨🏃😱

When'd he fix the car?

#Monsterdon ok this "go for a walk by the cliffsides" date is sounding like a worse idea all the time

She's got some real Kate McKinnon energy.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

"We put her in here when she starting talking about Equal Rights for Women..."

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon well that was certainly a film :D

g'night everybody!

Whenever I see a group of rednecks with shotguns I am firmly on Team Monster.

Tentacle them all I say!

#Monsterdon

@LK_877 indeed -- as one poster said... libraries are the only data centers I support #Monsterdon 🦑 #TheDunwichHorror1970

#monsterdon You'd better get down to the asylum and see for yourself, the colors have gone all weird.

This is why ladies don't stop for tea

#Monsterdon

Okay, this guy has *two* pinkie rings, and while I'm not one to comment on fashion, that's some white cat petting supervillain cult leader shit right out of the SPECTRE playbook.

#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

You know, just take the Necronomicon back to the library and then we'll nip off for some chowder.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

I would like to know how and why the sex rituals summon the aliens. What is the mechanism of action

#monsterdon

Burn, baby, burn. Dunwich inferno... #monsterdon

The bit where he twirls the knife is a necessary part of the ritual.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

You put that dead body back where you found it

#Monsterdon

I have never seen such a soporifically calm horror movie death before.
#Monsterdon

Finally the whipoorwills do their thing.

#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

"Girlfriend" but not in that way we're all thinking because that would be VERY progressive for a 1970 movie!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "it's important to note that she's only 45 years old" actually she doesn't look that bad? just her hair went gray early, that happens sometimes

Maybe they thought it was haunted because spooky music always played when they approached it.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

small towns do this shit all the time, you're safer in the uncaring city tbh....

#Monsterdon

SOUNDS OF SHOGGOTH

8 CDs or 10 cassettes

Call now!

Offer not available in Massachusetts, Vermont, or R'yleh

#Monsterdon

Their kingdom for a photocopier.

#monsterdon

According to the spooky silhouette music the goth girl gave birth during the opening theme, and then we cut to a college, where Professor Gene Roddenberry tells a 70s blonde girl to return a book, the Necronomicon, to the library, aided by her friend, 70s brunette girl.

After returning the priceless and innocently named book to its glass case, a 70s mustached man asks to see the book, and 70s brunette girl is like "no wtf" while 70s blonde girl is like "sure" and he takes the book.

#monsterdon

@moira can't believe Ed Begley Jr had a dad, make it make sense...

#Monsterdon

If I were Italian I would be outraged at this portrayal of my people

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon This may be the first time I remained fully awake for this movie. Thank you, @Taweret and for the wonderful streaming @miru. Next up, I will sacrifice this Samsung TV to the Elder Dark. Just like Elvis, I want to shoot it. LOL "Start Airplay you pile of junk!" hahahahahaha

Foolish flannel man with gun, to defeat a color filter tentacle monster you need a rainbow sword and the power of friendship.

#monsterdon

great now I never want to touch a library book again #Monsterdon

"Where the spheres meet"

*grabs own testicles

#Monsterdon

We really should've all dropped acid for this

#Monsterdon

yeah usually there's a *little* paperwork, you can't just declare "Free Use Graveyard"

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon oh crap we forgot about the unspeakable horror we keep in the side closet

Granted book Wilbur is a barely verbal hulking goat man.
WHIP-POOR-WILLS! We heard them but don't get to see them.
#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror

#monsterdon so are we projecting onto something here an then re-filming it, or is this something over the camera lens?

10min later or so:
For those of us wondering how AIP would handle #tentacleStuff it turns out they handled it better than the Guyver Anime last week...

The house is pretty neat, I gotta say. I love the semi-circle red staircase, and I’m a sucker for stained glass windows.

Oh no that’s how they get me
#Monsterdon

yayy! Tentacles!

#Monsterdon

lol, big 'Wicker Man Reveal' energy, like it!

#Monsterdon

thinking this town can fuck off though, bunch of sneering rubes....

#Monsterdon

Well that’s on me for expecting her to be dreaming about tentacles and not the deleted human extras from this scene:
#Monsterdon

We've established they both like sex. Now we are getting somewhere. #monsterdon

Honestly not the worst way to depict the confusion caused by an elder god on the fragile mind of a normal human. But it's still just some hippies covered in body paint rolling in a pile.
#Monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror

I wonder what Dagon is up to.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

"Oh God, I just looked at that crystal and all of a sudden I'm in the wicker man 😰" #Monsterdon

I have not read the book or story this was based on, so I'm going to assume it was about the ability of a giant mustache to charm all the ladies and tempt them into joining occult library clubs.

#monsterdon

"They're a cowardly, superstitious lot."

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

He uses public transport, he must be up to something!

#Monsterdon

These are not the droids you're looking for #Monsterdon 🦑 #TheDunwichHorror1970 🐙

THAT's NOT how rare book collection librarians work, you nitwit Sandra Dee! #Monsterdon 🦑 #TheDunwichHorror1970 🐙

He's so dreamy. He smells like spirit gum

#Monsterdon

Ahhh damnit this is for mature audiences, guess I'll go to bed then! #monsterdon

Wait, so Earth has nothing to do with all these humans?

#Monsterdon

This concludes my #monsterdon thread for the Dunwich Horror, in which we learn the dangers of drinking drinks at parties offered by mysterious mustachioed space cultists and also that color filters can kill in sufficient quantity.

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and to all who participated!

lol, "psychic crewmember"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon all right the ineffable eldritch stuff

RE: https://mastodon.social/@SesameSquirrel/117227398353259019

that was fun!

but only because it was snarkable and watched with Monsterdonians

watching alone I would've wanted to throw something at Dean Stockwell & Sandra Dee's annoying characters -- they deserved each other!

#Monsterdon 🦑 #TheDunwichHorror1970

#Monsterdon

"It's all over....

... OR IS IT?!"

The Wicker Man was better.

#monsterdon

RE: https://ohai.social/@jeffron/117227364733326496

Don't worry -- he's clearly gonna filch that book so it'll be declared LOST/MISSING #Monsterdon 🦑 #TheDunwichHorror1970

how cold would she be on that rock all night ?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon “It is by the power of technicolor that I put my mind in motion, it is by the bright flashy mauve that I am a cheap sfx gag…”

Kinda want the tentacle beast to take out this redneck town though.... the land needs to be rewilded..

#Monsterdon

What's going on at the Ol' Cole Place?

Nothing to see here, just the Old Ones breaking through.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon You're soaking in it, Marge. Palmolive is the detergent of the Old Ones.

grabbing that phone phallus...

#Monsterdon

The mother character in the padded cell is dying and in her death throws filling her cell with color filters. Professor Armitage comes to visit her and then hears the birds squawking as she dies.

Meanwhile, Wilbur is doing a midnight ritual to summon the Old Ones and their Army of Darkness to repossess the earth, seemingly setting up Nancy to be used as a sacrifice.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon was the "solarize" effect new in the late 60s early 70s?

they *loved* it in 2001: A Space Odyssey's tripping scene too haha

#Monsterdon

Plot twist / #DoctorWho crossover -- they chant for Old Ones and Silurians show up!

Suddenly Scott Bakula jumps into Wilbur's body and says "oh boy!"

#Monsterdon

"To the library!"

#monsterdon

I got pulled away by Job Stuff right as the alter sex was starting and that was probably for the best. 😅 But I'm back now! Hopefully.

#monsterdon #TheDunwichHorror1970

#Monsterdon POV: you're a grave and some dude's doing a ritual over you

If you bludgeon a security guard to death with the Necronomicon, does that activate it?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👶 🧑‍🔬 🧑‍🔬🤰👹🫨🏃😱

nice work, stunt dudes