are we just gonna not talk about this

#DancesOfMonsterdon #Monsterdon

@RufusJCooter @jonny "Godzilla Signal"
Project it onto the Moon to make Batman feel very insecure

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe "Maybe you should have left the body where it was, I think that's what they recommend buddy?" *looks worried

#monsterdon

And that was that!

#monsterdon

guy on pcp thinking bullets can't kill him, jumps into the sea

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "get back here, Titanosaur, I just want to talk"

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla With titanosuarus out of the fight, we learn that this movie's fireworks budget amounted to several bajillion dollars and at least a hundred thousand traumatized dogs, as Mechagodzilla shoots all the finger rockets and all the death rays at regular Godzilla, who closes to melee range anyway and starts punching him, then grabs his tail, which seems like a good move as it keeps Godzilla out of rocket range.

“I love you but I’ve chosen cyborg” #monsterdon #TerrorOfMechagodzilla

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla So the battle is going bad for Godzilla as he's having trouble fighting two giant kaiju at once, and at one point he is pushed back and does a weird hover thing as he floats away.

The puny humans are I guess working on putting together their sound gun, which I guess is not just made out of oscilliscopes, but also more cool retro scifi hardware, like a giant satellite dish mated with an egg beater. Also, they're gonna raid the mad scientist''s house

You know what's awesome? There exists a CRITERION edition of this movie and I'm watching it. #monsterdon

I'm here for the WWE monster moves.

#Monsterdon

What is the respawn rate on those missile fingers, it's like a machine gun!

#monsterdon

Just because a lizard is buried under ground doesn't mean he's out of the match

#monsterdon

#monsterdon lol idk what the hell is going on. Or how this will end.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla Mechagodzilla explodes his way out of the hanger and starts using lasers to blow up buildings. At the same time, Titanosaurus walks beside him, waves his tiny arms and then uses his tail fan things as a windmill to brush the rubble away, keeping the battlefield tidy.

Because they know what type of movie this is, the puny humans are evacuating as buildings explode with unusual haste when hit by Mechagodzilla's laser beam.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla One of the action hero dudes breaks into the island, finds a jail with moaning people in it and frees them with a gun. I'm sure this makes sense in context but I am very confused.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla oh no I lost internet briefly, but I saved up posts so I'll toot them in a chain.

We're clearly setting up a redemption arc for the mad scientist, who will probably realize he doesn't really want to destroy Tokyo and so this might be a father + daughter double redemption arc.

When Titanosaurus breaks out the unexpected destructive tail fan - that must've given every kid with a fan stuck in a boring waiting room material to fantasize with for years after this movie debuted in Japan.

#Monsterdon

The physics of this fight don't conform to our universe. #monsterdon

The rockets were so powerful, they knocked over the entire table the set was on!

#monsterdon

Tick tock, Katsura. Tick tock.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla Okay, so I guess soon as Godzilla appears Titanosaur wandered off, so I guess the Titanosaur was just there to lure Godzilla into an ambush?

I assume Godzilla will have to fight both the Titanosuar and Mechagodzilla, but might have help from the human submarine with the sound cannon.

Ugh I hate when couples write their own vows

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla We get a cyborg surgery scene as the aliens are repairing the daughter that reveals her stomach looks like a chrome babbage machine or strange motor or something.

And another scene where the Other Girl (who I guess was not the saboteur? it was probably the cyborg girl) is like "yo i think the scientist daughter fucked with our sound gun" and then the Cunning Linguist is like "no it can't be her. I think she is too cute to do that."

#monsterdon Cue about ten billion "get in the robot S̶h̶i̶n̶j̶i̶ Katsura" jokes

BITCH!
COME HERE!
LET ME KICK YOUR ASS!!!
—Godzilla, probably

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

a... SUPER GIGER!!!

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla When told about the humans' sound cannon, Doctor Mifune is unimpressed, because they are puny humans and are no match for his cool dinosaur.

The humans' sound cannon is sabotaged, I think by the Other Girl in this movie, who might be an alien, but I'm not sure. This is revealed after the humans stack the osciliiscopes to make the sound cannon; I guess a sound cannon is like four oscilliscopes and some wires.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla More weird scenes happen as the daughter gives some notes to the Cunning Linguist, who reveals the puny humans' secret plant to use a giant sound cannon to fight Titanosaurus as another character, Second Girl, spies on them. I think. i might be mixing up everyone on this movie because its insane.

Top level evil plan cackling there

#monsterdon

The boss just sitting there in his office, watching porn....doesn't even turn it off when co-workers are in the room, power gone mad....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla We had another conference interlude where we determine that supersonic sparkle guns are good, and then its back to an island where I guess one of the interpol dudes or another puny humans was trying to run away and then ambushed by aliens, who failed to stop him with their ray guns.

Captain Sunglasses is mad at them and then whips them a little bit because he's a dom, and then sentences them to death. Bummer.

dude, whips is not the way to play with jacks

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

the oscilloscopes! of course!

SOMETHING THAT OSCILLATES.

BINGO!

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla #MonsterdonBingo

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla The Yellow Submarine begins its search, but crosses the path of cyber-daughter controlled Titanosaurus, which zooms by like a racing penguin then stands in front of them and roars. I dunno how well you can roar underwater, but then again, I am not a giant dinosaur.

We get a chase scene as the submarine bravely runs away, which is a good choice when you encounter a giant monster.

Oh wow, full on kink in the throne room!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla We need to talk about the aliens hats. They look like motorcycle helmets, but with fins and also really big antennae that look like they might stop the aliens from entering doors if they do it wrong, or at least make them thing very hard before entering a door. But I guess they manage.

Anyway, what do the antennae do? Are they like for wifi? Walkie talkies? Lofi beats for world conquest?

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla The daughter tries to deter the Cunning Linguist from searching for the dinosaur, I think because she knows evil aliens are controlling it and doesn't want them fighting her father. But anyway, he wants to go.

Later she tells about this to her dad, but he tells her she should not talk to outsiders, and also that her mom is dead because... she helped him do mad science I guess? Which sounds like something he should feel bad about, but maybe doesn't?

TIL Luigi is really Japanese

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

Wait, she's a robot? Or a cyborg? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla brief interlude as a guy tries to escape the island and is shot by like eight aliens who decide to form a circle around him before gunning him down, because they don't believe in gun safety.

what's the point of revenge if you are not going to have an evil villain laugh. c'mon girl. let your dad have his moment.

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla Okay, so um the humans, who I guess are Interpol cops are going to visit the mad scientist, who lives in a weird villa on an island. they meet his... daughter at the front gate, who tells them to go away and also that she burned his notes. So the Interpol people bugger off.

All those minions waiting for your command, who wouldn't want that? Ignore the prisoners, details, details....

#monsterdon

this is how to do a business meeting

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla We get a quick clip of a flying saucer, which I thought was an establishing shot but isn't, and then cut to a fancy hotel room, where an Alien Captain disguised as a human is talking to a bearded guy about how they want to destroy Tokyo because its too confusing and replace its modernist architecture with some even more modernist architecture.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla Having killed the submarine people, we advance to the Conference Room Sequence, where the important people are talking about the poor submarine around some retro electronics that were not retro when this movie was made.

They listen to a distress signal and hear the submarine people screaming that a dinosaur destroyed the submarine. For some reason, they are surprised, despite Godzilla being a dinosaur and also being a known thing in this world.

This place has been overrun by ducks

#monsterdon

If there's not some animal-hybrid henchmen opening that door then this guy is a fraud

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla the recap episode ends and the plot starts; after beating up his robot double, Godzilla tossed Mecha Godzilla's corpse into the sea and now the puny earthlings are trying to recover it to learn its evil space secrets.

And they're doing a recovery with an Adorable Toy Submarine! Ho boy! It's 11 minutes in and there's already a toy boat! Wooo... toy boat!

WAIT!

GODZILLA HAS THE POWER OF MAGNETS?!?!?!

Godzilla is the OG Magnetic Monster!!!

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla clearly this recap fight scene set to Akira Ifukube's Godzilla's theme was made before that one Pokemon episode caused all the seizures and people realized that flashing lights are sometimes bad.

Titles by, FREEZE FRAME

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

Is the English dub just one dude doing all the different voices? #monsterdon

I like how MechaGodzilla has an MG on his chest like a super villain. #Monsterdon

JAPANESE DEVO!

Cheri, you missed that one

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla #MonsterdonBingo

This sprawling plot is all over the place. Suddenly it's aliens taking over, and Godzilla is fighting aliens along with the humans.

I think I've missed a few earlier chapters in this saga

#monsterdon

Oh Godzilla is magnetic now? They kept that to themselves.....

#monsterdon

Launching my Monsterdon thread for #TerrorOfMechagodzilla, in which we learn that Godzilla plus Robots equals Terror!

Extremely pumped for this one! I mean stoked, like a coal-powered robot lizard!

(Note: I assume that Mechagodzilla is actually Nuclear-Powered, if not Antimatter-powered)

Monsterdon is where we watch an old school monster movie every week. You may want to mute the #Monsterdon hash tag if you don't want to see many many posts about Godzilla and also a Robot Godzilla.

of course the spinning head creates a forceshield, that's how Science works!

#Monsterdon

GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

#Monsterdon

@jonny Great moments in cinema. #Monsterdon

@jonny So, like, an old-school red phone on the president's desk? Like the WDC-Moscow hotline?

I feel like there may be logistical challenges with that! Like, for one, can Godzilla even get a landline where he lives? (Underwater, mostly?)

#monsterdon

like im pretty sure ive seen more films directed by Ishiro Honda at this point than films by any other single director

#monsterdon

/facepalm. I missed #monsterdon, again. Does it still work like it did a few months back?

That was fun! I could not recall the plot to save my life, but Kaiju. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Godzilla just blew up three flying saucers trying to escape from an undersea base

These aliens do way too much sinister laughing

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla Back in the evil space bunker, both titanosaurus and mechagodzilla are seen on a TV screen doing happy hops because they beat Godzilla in this round. The mad scientist and the evil aliens cheer them on as the Cunning Linguist tries to escape.

Then back on the Kaiju Arena desert, the humans show up with a helicopter to fuck up evil plans, by shooting titanosaurus with an RPG and also a sound cannon that harshes his mellow.

Katsura's assertive "Shut up you" is a catch phrase for the 70s.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Lol what is THIS?!

"We're leaving, and I'm taking my favourite red rocket with me. Goodbye"

#monsterdon

Godzilla REALLY hates kids. #monsterdon

"Fighting Style: Pub Car Park"

#monsterdon

Rotary missiles, showing that everything is better with spinning.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla

dude scientist, WHO ARE YOU?!

dem illegal extraplanetary aliens, THE SECOND COMING

ME: of Jesuschrist dancing on a cracker?!?!

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

#monsterdon lol OK godzilla got yeeted i guess.

The spacemen know they aren't done after they destroy Tokyo, right? #monsterdon

#monsterdon godzilla dance battle

This feels a lot like random cuts slapped together to tell a 'story'

#monsterdon

Messi still down but is sitting up

#CopaAmerica
#Monsterdon

I think "Katsura" is said more than any other word in this movie #monsterdon

Messi just got injured

#CopaAmerica
#Monsterdon

i still don't know what's going on. it's a lot tho. i do know that

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Iron–man godzilla is cool tho.

GODZILLA!

BALLAD OF THE KAIJUS!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla

haha damn this film is pretty funny

#monsterdon

we have...something that looks like tiddies #monsterdon

@jmelesky I *think* the boobs are in the sub but not the dub.

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla

how have i not see a person with a camera yet???!?!

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla #MonsterdonBingo

Oh my, the clockwork innards were a surprise

#monsterdon

#monsterdon MONSTER HOP

Man, Titanosaurus got some air with that jump. I didn't see that coming! I had him pegged as being a water-type kaiju.

The porn version of this must be ah-mazing #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla We get a new scene in a different conference room that is more square where they talk about supersonic beams. The scene didn't seem necessary, but I liked the conference room so its fine.

We go to another scene were the interpol people are debriefing.

#monsterdon This is how dinosaurs got extinct

REGULAR SONIC IS PLENTY

#monsterdon

Ah, the eternal question #Monsterdon

This mad scientist #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TerrorOfMechaGodzilla Science Daughter has an attack of conscience and tries to warn the human search party against sending their submarine, but she is caught by Ancient Chadbeard.

Because we are determined to cram as much backstory as possible in the first 40 minutes of this movie, we learn that during one of her father's experiments she was electrocuted by mad science and then resurrected by different mad science.

am i watching the wrong movie again or am a running behind y'all

#Monsterdon #Mechgodzilla #MonsterdonBingo