wow, that suit in the full light of day tho. uh.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Dude saves you from the evil jerks and all you can say is "Shoo!"

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

*Cable fires the pistol she took from the gas station at the threatening mercenaries; it misfires in her hand with a shower of sparks*

I feel like that scene might be significantly underselling the danger of a misfire that looks like that..? I'm surprised Cable still has a hand!

#monsterdon

lookin' like some kind of proto-Thanos

#monsterdon

Uh. A little physics liberties there. How much mass does Swamp Thing have? #Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

Convenient pile of tires! She freakin' rocks! Wants to protect the teenage kid after realizing the baddies showed up! #monsterdon

(This film may be too high quality for #monsterdon. Logan's Run tier at least.)

Threw one guy in the water, and another on a soft bed of leaves, some monster
#monsterdon

SHOO 🤣 #monsterdon #TheSwampThing

The Swamp Thing suit looks so simple and cheap. The face is okayish, but the rest is just a green wet suit with some roots on it.
#Monsterdon #SwampThing

why would run into the water instead of down the street?

#Monsterdon

Swamp Thing is a triple S tier crossing guard.

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

Jam it, Danet! #monsterdon

"...is that a tuber in your pocket, or you just happy to see me?"

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

Okay wait did the top of that vehicle just float off into the air?

#monsterdon #SwampThing

@floatybirb It is only when I read your descriptions that I realize the movie doesn't make any sense.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon TAKE OFF YOUR RED SHIRT LADY

Right, go into the water to escape the swamp thing.

#Monsterdon

HERE THEY ARE

THE SAVIOR OF THE *SWAMP*

#monsterdon

when a car runs into you, you can overcome the transfer of momentum to the friction between your feet and ground by clapping at it #monsterdon

That's a very bad monster costume #monsterdon #TheSwampThing

An actual misfire! #Monsterdon #SwampThing

Jolly Green Giant isn’t feeling very jolly

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🔬 🔪 🧟‍♂️ 🥬 🙅‍♀️ 😱

nice work swamp thing!

Why is there swamp everywhere in this swamp??
#Monsterdon

Is that Ray Wise in the suit or just some giant that was owned by the Studio?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Heeeeey Jude, your gas station's gonna be burnt down...

Drives into forest: "Watch the tree"

Um, superfluous much?

#monsterdon

She can't get her hair wet!
#Monsterdon

She stops to rest, right on a road, and then she runs straight down the road, when a jeep approaches.

Not cool. Not cool at all.

#Monsterdon

well frankly, ma'am, last time you jumped into the water, you came out relatively unharmed so...

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Swamp Thing beats jeep.

Good start.

@guyjantic How is that confusing. Weird Al is sexy as Hell. #Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

@Terencio @cargot_robbie Please, somebody, make this show! #Monsterdon

You'd think that an organization that bothered to set up a full spy-worthy communication protocol might have defended its scientists a little better

#Monsterdon

we’re only half done but i really feel that lady has earned a spa day #Monsterdon

If Cable was played by Sigourney Weaver, this movie would be a hit
#monsterdon
#swampthing1982

watch it, that's the road the nazguls use

#monsterdon #SwampThing

Don't stop in the road!

#Monsterdon

now this

*this* is a Swamp Romp.

#monsterdon

Swamp Thing stops the jeep cold.
None of the commandos go for their guns -- stunned into inaction.

Oh, right, because it was really a tree...

#monsterdon
#SwampThing

Again, she chose the wrong footwear. WTF kind of scientist wears 2inch heels in the field?
#Monsterdon

Me at work next year: "Does anything work around here?" "Just me."

#Monsterdon

why they added that tyre skreech on in post, when the cars were travelling a heady speed of 3 MPH, is beyond me
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🔬 🔪 🧟‍♂️ 🥬 🙅‍♀️ 😱

so the rambos are staging attacks right out in the open why do they have branches in their hats?

Cable really knows how to fuck shit up. And I don’t mean in a good way. #monsterdon

A turning around montage!

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

I bet people see women being chased down in the Louisiana swamp all the time...

#Monsterdon

The wardrobe team is really confusing me. They're clearly sexualizing Cable, but they're also giving her that hair and that shirt.
#Monsterdon

Who IS she, this warrior woman?

#Monsterdon

#timestamp to clip running fully exposed, yelling and tripping, incredible survival instincts #monsterdon

#monsterdon That car has the turning radius of a continent, geez.

Tubi seems more ad laden for me than usual. I'm way out of sync now :P #Monsterdon

Glasses to glasses agent. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon THose swamp commadnos are fairly conspicuous..

ACTION ADRIENNE

#monsterdon

You're right, kid.

"Here comes trouble." #monsterdon

"Here comes trouble."

"Just me."

"Name's Jude."

This is the only good character

#Monsterdon

When Ferret meets Arcane will they develop an obscure taxonomy?

#Monsterdon

You'd think she'd be using code, like "Boss, the cat got one of the steaks. I think there's still a few side dishes out there."

#Monsterdon

Hitting it one way won't work. You have to hit it another way!
#Monsterdon

Lol at the tire screeching sound IN THE JUNGLE #monsterdon #TheSwampThing

@gblues I thought she could just karate chop it. #monsterdon

or maybe like me, they can't be bothered to
#monsterdon
https://mastodon.murkworks.net/@moira/115086826625581384

Jude is the best character in this entire movie.

#Monsterdon

that is such a wide car

#Monsterdon

"that was quick.

Too quick."

#monsterdon #SwampThing

She has spare change in her pocket for the phone? #Monsterdon

Cars making U-turns is so tense.
#Monsterdon

Whoa wierd car maneuvering music, but okay. #Monsterdon #SwampThing1982

#Monsterdon 👨‍🔬 🔪 🧟‍♂️ 🥬 🙅‍♀️ 😱

frantic phone call from gov't scientist to her office, gets an operator.

"Give me my next immediate superior!"

Wouldn't you know that person's name? Why does the operator know who you are and who your next immediate superior is? Why 'next immediate'?

😖

they WANTED to turn the limo directly around in the road.

WANTED TO.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
She has change for the phone booth?

#Monsterdon

Someone tell the bad guy Sally Jesse Raphael wants her glasses back.

You know this guy is serious 'cause he has a phone in his car.

#monsterdon #SwampThing

"...turn around!"
"You mean make a fifteen point turn around? Told you this giant car was a terrible idea."

#Monsterdon #SwampThing

Will coke boy will survive this?
😔
#monsterdon

My god, she made through that with the dime. #Monsterdon #PayPhones

@springdiesel

Their budget was a little short for the heavies.

#Monsterdon

i am fully at Level What on understanding what's going on with swamp limo #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #SwampThing i love how it's clearly a pain in the ass to turn that limo around

Kid is the best in the film so far.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Is this the part where the phone booth gets swarmed with leeches?

"I got the last notebook" DOH! #Monsterdon #SwampThing

Pretty sure she's half Romulan, half 70s.
#Monsterdon

lol, quite hard to do a 3 point turn in hurry with that car

#Monsterdon

“There must be another. A seventh notebook!” #Monsterdon

"Did you manage to save anything?"

"Damn right, I got the entire office stock of gum! Cinnamon AND spearmint! Want some?"

#monsterdon

So we have established that Swamp Thing is not a vegetable

Good job henchmen, great deductions there

#Monsterdon

oh she is calling for an exit

#monsterdon

So far my favorite part of Louis Jourdan's part of this movie is that literally all I know about him is he's French and, presumably therefore, he's evil.

I have no idea what industry he's in, how rich he is, or what weird fetish he will inevitably turn out to have. #Monsterdon

@diazona I imagine they were just lazing on the bottom when some guy shoved Adrienne Barbeau right into them, and you know #monsterdon

So, it looks like Adrienne Barbeau has nipples, just as I suspected. Just as everyone else has nipples. She's just like everyone.

#Monsterdon

Oh! rambo people are the evil mask off guy's staff.
I STILL don't understand what their motivation is.
#Monsterdon

"it ain't much but we can fix your car"

#monsterdon

This swamp has everything. Mansion, pay phone, gas station. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🔬 🔪 🧟‍♂️ 🥬 🙅‍♀️ 😱

Were those bats? Lots of bats? In the swamp?

I miss the days when public urinals had phones in them.

#Monsterdon

Introducing the best character in the film... now!

#monsterdon

Those glasses. Fashion always comes around in cycles. #Monsterdon

She has change for a phone call.. amazing!
#monsterdon