We're starting off strong for a potential "humanity was the real monster" theme
but also with a dub and something that's been chopped up as much as this, who the hell even knows what the plot will turn out to be?
Everything about this screams "we don't know how to make a movie"
It's a record: 1 minute in and I already now this whole thing is bullshit.
Thank goodness! Iβve reached the end credits. The real shocker there was discovering that it was shot on film. I just assumed it must have been shot on dubious Italian television cameras to look that terrible.
@ajroach42 We did Star Crash sometime last year! It definitely did seem way better
BTW:
"Like, Star Odyssey isn't good, but it has things that happen."
Having just watched it, I'm not convinced π (I mean yeah it's true, things happened, it was just nearly impossible to tell what those things were)
ACAB, even in space.
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace
Sailing ships IIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE!
#Monsterdon #MessageFromSpace
It's time for the #Monsterdon double-feature!
"How could it get any worse?!?"
"Great kid, don't get cocky!"
"I can't locate him!"
Yeah, me too, the scene's lit like the inside of a laser tag match. #Monsterdon
Great line read, Bob. #Monsterdon
"it's turning into a masive molecule"
Ok, I have to go to bed and I am blaming this movie in advance for what I expect will be some pretty insane dreams. #Monsterdon
Works for any scene in this movie that you happen to be on, really
"I can't remember a password so I just glow my eyes at the safe and it opens....my drinks cabinet is the same..."
At this point I'm just sitting here with my hand over my mouth letting it wash all over me. #Monsterdon
So the Robot is capable of love and human emotions and they also have genders..oh wait, they can get married as well..
..but they were just rotting in an scrap yard.
not a bad job with the disassembled android parts, hats off to the props demartment
I guess maybe the android is joining the team as well as boxer Whatshisface
"He'll soon see your five hours haven't been wasted!"
My forty-five minutes have been pretty wasted so far, chief. #Monsterdon
I mean, I'm not saying Flash Gordon was any kind of great cinema, but at least it was fun. #monsterdon
meanwhile, at the space auction house
"the Alcratraz of the heavens"
"Sure, Star Wars is a great film, but practically none of it is bad actors explaining nothing to each other in a plush foyer, so..." #Monsterdon
I like the robot's little synth beeps and boops while these dorks talk about the aliens or whatever. They're stimming :)
I feel like a lot of the urgency of the Earth being attacked by Aliens is being lost...
*goes and earns a doctorate* wait are we still talking?!
I love how poorly dubbed this is
Whatever they're paying the kid in the trash can it's not enough. #Monsterdon
R1-D1. #Monsterdon
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
OMG R2D ... 0.5
Goth scientist!
We've got Technomages at home
Why's uncle dressed like a Time Lord? #Monsterdon
We got Temu Pinhead
God this cast has some fucking wild facial hair. #Monsterdon
oh god it's another italian film dubbed into english (probably BY THE ITALIANS -_-)
And thus ends an interminable #monsterdon.
I don't even know how to recap that.
There were bad bits, worse bits, more bad bits, stupid bits, and nonsensical bits.
On top of it being an excuse to just stitch insane closeups and exposition together.
Anyway, thanks for all the toots, and thank you @Taweret for hosting!
I want my money back. #monsterdon
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!? #monsterdon
and the movie fucks off into research into giving robots the ability to fuck, and in the middle of a line of dialoβ
oh, no, nevermind, the film's ending on Robot Fuckin'
Apparently the US version of this film was 25 minutes longer.
[EDIT: OK, this was the longer version.]
Maybe #Monsterdon should try the pilot episode of The Starlost, a TV show so bad that creator Harlan Ellison quit and took his name off the credits.
Ben Bova was the science consultant, and Douglas Trumbull was the special effects supervisor. Both of them quit before the first episode, too.
That guy keeps jumping around at the end of each scene like heβs just daring the editor to leave it in, and the editor has called his bluff!
I'm not gonna lie; I would have been perfectly happy if the rest of the movie had just been the android following Tilt trying to hit him with his sword. #Monsterdon #StarOdyssey
The manliness on display here is on a level not seen since Boy George #Monsterdon
Yes, ma'am, I too am shouting UNCLE, UNCLE #Monsterdon
YOU HAVE PSYCHIC CONTACT WITH YOUR ROBOT WIFE AND YOU *STILL* BICKER CONSTANTLY?
#Monsterdon
anti-mony
oh, they're Exposition Droids...
That's not the only thing that's unstable in this movie.
First time I've ever seen a snakeskin lab coat. #Monsterdon
If they can reproduce androids that easily, what use do they have for slaves?
How to act like you're in a psychic duel, according to this #monsterdon
1. be bald
2. rub your head.
3. gasp a lot.
4. talk about how much mental power your psychic enemy has.
The totally-not-light-sabers sound effect sound more like Three Stooges sounds.
Once again...never give real emotions to robots, dear fuck...
I like Bridget's "Science Outfit"
@jivens What plot?!
what⦠happened to the gold
130 years of existential torment,
Robot Racists now?
Why did Humanity build such things?
What if Marvin The Robot, but sexually active
"I'm sorry our suicide pact was a failure. It was such a romantic idea."
@floatybirb it's a Grimdark Future... #Monsterdon
What IS this movie? #Monsterdon
we have Marvin the Paranoid Android at home
"you've made me waste nearly five hours over this"
Aha, now we know how long the shooting schedule was
@steggy Max Von Sydow. LEGEND. Bad guy in Flash Gordon and Strange Brew.... #monsterdon
Killed him by denying him his stim toy.
this fight is still going on? ffs...
I think the movie is on to something with having prison guards wear humiliating body suits with anal beads sewn onto the hood
let's hear them out about that bit
Somehow, I don't think that understanding why this fight just broke out would increase my enjoyment of the movie
DARTH WAFFLE VS. VEIN LORD
200 MILLION QUATLOOS
Why does everybody know about Humans if we're so rare and presumably confined to Earth?
Inexplicably, cut to robot vs Human boxing. Reminds me of the "MAN VS CAR" bit of RIck & Morty's Interdimensional Cable. The car wins.
So Dirk's now back in the casino, with his spider shirt, like nothing happened? Weird synth music & glowing eyes won't give him away as a cheater! OH, this is the start of the previous casino scene.
"Transmit any pictures of this ooofo, immediately! We need to know the substance!"
But we already know this!
Editors! FUCK!
That poor Cyberman. #Monsterdon
Look, Romper Room made a lot more sense than this. #Monsterdon #StarOdessy1979
Duty Now For The Future by Devo
See how in Star Wars they'd already left Tatooine and gone on the Adventure....
#monsterdon The men have more chemistry together than any of the women with the men have.
Oh wait we got a love triangle now because the psychic gambler guy (Dirk) kissed the daughter character (Irene), who I guess is probably not a daughter character just a friend of Mori, maybe? Unless this movie has an incest thing going on?
I love this Deep Space 9 set they're farting around on btw
𫨠Italian Kissing
That's NUMBERWANG!
lol, of course he has magic glowing hypnotoad eyes, of course....
"Wait, that's illegal."
I can't stand his fussy little moustache. #Monsterdon
Guys, you're not assembling Oceans Whatever, can we just move things along already? #Monsterdon
"Sean and Bridget, Greatest Chemists Of Earth"
"You forget how the white man treated the [black people] and the [indigenous americans]" Oh great this, 70's porn is woke.
Colonialists love the boot, if a bigger colonialist comes along they surrender immediately
This film is going hard!
those miniatures aren't bad! they aren't *good*, but I've seen much worse, especially the quality of the animation