love that the logo for the cops is erectile dysfunction

#monsterdon

Allow the E-Vans to enter

they're E-cops wearing Vans

#monsterdon

Dude lining himself up to get eaten by pigeons. #Monsterdon

OH YOU DID NOT SHOOT THE BIRB! >:(

#monsterdon

Yeah, closing days at Burning Man are always crazy :/ #Monsterdon

hahahhaha, that clearly on wires vehicle flying into the tent

#monsterdon

Orb-ie-wan Kenobi

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986

oh hey cryptkeeper

#monsterdon

he's ready to ponder the orb

#monsterdon

*first explosion* yeah! we did it!

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

nobody can own an owl, the lad is correct

#Monsterdon

So they're certain there will be skateable hard trails through the entire desert? 🤨

#Monsterdon

This is the least impressive way to do a badass stunt ever

#monsterdon

Did they think all they had to do was break 1 Flock camera and they’re free?

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986

Bridge's out. Relax, there's a little path down by the side, Karlach's waiting for you. #Monsterdon

Kids: Do not try this at home. You won't fly farther.

#monsterdon

The penitent man shall pass. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🌞 👶 👶 👶 👶 😱 #Solarbabies

their traveling skates aren't inline and don't have their own headlights

The soundtrack is awful too. #monsterdon

not the right danger zone :grr:

#monsterdon

Remember, Bodhi is a sex tourist...

#Monsterdon

Find the nearest adult if an e-cop tries to toss your personal area. #Monsterdon

"toss the personal areas"

wink wink

#Monsterdon

What is it with Mel Brooks and Spaceballs though

#Monsterdon

I think I'm allergic to high levels of whimsy

#Monsterdon

"I travelled thousands of light years to come here and save you, instead you throw me around in your stupid ball games....fuck you Humans!"

#Monsterdon

the future has beatboxing and breakdancing

#monsterdon

oh no, the music cue is telling me to have fun again!!

#monsterdon

The Gang Gets Their Daily Dose of Whimsy

#monsterdon

Trumpy, you can do STUPID things! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Without diagnostics on the detector, it's just a really strange remote control for a 1983 Zenith Selectavision.

Hey, remember in the 80s when kissing someone who didn't want it wasn't considered to be sexual assault?

:-/

#monsterdon

[drum solo of intrigue plays]

#Monsterdon

perfectly normal to be hiding in an air vent spying on people with bird friends for company

probably posts to Mastodon

#Monsterdon

Owl like, "You see this shit?" #Monsterdon

The orb is

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

How to tell if your teen is touching orbs

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986

"I can feel it likes to be held"

said my wife....

#Monsterdon

Bohdi! You can do stupid things!

#MST3k

#monsterdon

"lampshading" is not quite a sufficient term

#Monsterdon

"I'm clean!"

Go back 200 years and no one bathed on a regular basis. 50 years in the dystopian future and no one is bathing again, and believe it's really bad for them, not being happy about it, i bet

#monsterdon

THE END

(fanfare)

#Monsterdon

Okay maybe the orb is Munchie #Monsterdon

Big "Wendy reading a bedtime to the Lost Boys" vibes from this scene.

#monsterdon

We learn the orphans have an indigenous coded religion where the bird dude draws circles in the sand and summons crows to him; pretty sure the Codex Black guy was involved in this somehow.

Anyway, some bullies show up to mess up the bird dude's circles and then harass the One Girl character.

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

chekhov's clouds

#monsterdon

Patrick Swayze, Speaker with Crows #Monsterdon

punishments given in m³ that need to be dug is kind of a nice touch as futuristic worldbuilding, especially for 1986

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ and to have their goose valued

#monsterdon

Just make everything sound futuristic by putting "E" in front of it, never grows old

#Monsterdon

"Let me see the Red, Yellow, Blue, and Green Rangers." #Monsterdon

NOISE STICK #Monsterdon

Thinking about that tragic incident in Brazil where someone brought some weird glowing stuff back home to show the family

#Monsterdon

The glow-in-the-night rollerblades are extremely cool.

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

hide me well, small human. i have much life energy to consume. #Monsterdon

Water? Impossibly scarce
Hair gel and skin care? Flow like water

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

Is this where they make the Solarbabies?

#monsterdon
#Solarbabies

wait, the character was deaf?!

#Monsterdon

there were a lot of mine-cart scenes in the 80s....

#Monsterdon

I wish they would style this guy in a way that I could tell whether he’s evil or not. #Monsterdon

Barely disguised costume department rubber fetish.
#monsterdon

All E-Cops Are Bastards #Monsterdon

It's the E-police, you're being E-arrested.
#monsterdon

Why couldn't the World Cup have been like this?

#Monsterdon

FAIR IS THE WAY IT SHALL BE SQUARED #Monsterdon

80s movies promised us a roller derby future the world never delivered on

#monsterdon

People in the future are so much cooler than we are

#monsterdon

Ha ha, I have those Koss model headphones around here somewhere :P #Monsterdon

This is my thread for today's #monsterdon, where we are watching #SolarBabies, whatever that is.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster movie every week and make fun of it, as is tradition I will be inaccurately summarizing the film. Consider muting the hash tag if you don't want to see a lot of posts about it.

Is this a ripoff of both Dune (1984) and Muppet Babies (1984)?

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies

Judging by the rollerblades the year is nineteen-ninety-fourty-one.
#monsterdon

opening_theme.midi

#Monsterdon

These are the gradients of my childhood

#monsterdon

GOGOGOGOGOGOGO #Monsterdon #Solarbabies

@diazona they spend A LOT of money on it too...

#Monsterdon

RE: https://mastodon.murkworks.net/@moira/116949979467837783

Bohdi has spoken!

#Monsterdon

An interview with Mel Brooks about "How the hell did that get made?". He talks about Solarbabies.

https://www.slashfilm.com/544524/mel-brooks-interview/

#monsterdon

So, that movie had potential, but it was a bit too "tabletop RPG" for me in how it kept jumping around from underbaked idea to idea.

Too many characters were totally unnecessary: Why have good-cop orphanage manager at all when you could just spend more time with the bad-cop?

Why have desert Jesus?
Why have faux native American?
Why have a load of redundant Solarbabies taking each other's time in the spotlight?
Why have space Servalan?

Narrative ADHD meant every single plot element was underserved.

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies

@randy_s it's a fun film but 'the greatest film ever made' is some wild over praising! #Monsterdon

Sometimes a whole bunch of people do their best to make a movie, and that's just not enough. Sorry #SolarBabies, something was missing and you're barely a
#monsterdon.

#monsterdon Thanks to @Taweret and @miru for the stream!

Thanks 🙏 to @Taweret

#Monsterdon

@saucerlost I hope this is how the USA ends, it seems quite plausible

#Monsterdon

@Binder
This is all getting needlessly messianic!

#Monsterdon

Tubi recommending the logical next choice for viewing after Solarbabies: season 1 episode 1 of Everybody Hates Chris

#monsterdon

Oh, Smokey, what were you thinking? That theme song is pretty bad.
#monsterdon #SolarBabies

@CactuarJoe ZARKORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

#monsterdon

#monsterdon so the whole Nazi org was just the one guy who bullies kids at the orphanage, that was lucky

Would something not need bowels to be disemboweled?

#monsterdon

End credits, and the Solarbabies fuck off into the ocean. Thus is the proper Monsterdon ending used.

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies1986

Outside, the #SolarBabies see a thundercloud appear because water has returned, somehow. Then Bodhi escapes his orb and returns to his planet in shooting star form. Rainbow Hat announces that Bodhi is everywhere now. Then the whole team's hands glow and they touch each other.

Conclusion: all the Solarbabies now have parts of a Vorlon inside them. If they go to Zha'ha'dum, they will die.

#monsterdon

I wonder what the eco-warriors are up to

#monsterdon

If they know how to swim... #monsterdon

heh, heh heh
heh
heh heh

#Monsterdon

But Bodhi still possesses the Earthling youth! All Hail Bodhi!

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies1986

This movie depended very heavily on post-production voice overs and redubbing. Like they had no idea what they were making until all the filming was done.

#monsterdon

"It's more than just a thunderstorm. Water is free again. It's free."

this movie was made in California, wasn't it

#monsterdon

Unwilling to repeat this mistake, the Evil General just picks up Rainbow Hat and asks him "is this your ball?" which is a perfect line. 10 out of 10, no notes.

But then he is pushed into the torture robot and crushed. The Evil Son frees him, but it is too late, he is already crushed.

Then the evil fortress collapses due to the lack of its load bearing villain as the #SolarBabies escape.

#monsterdon

ET Fuck Off Into Space

#monsterdon

The orb was within you the whole time!

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986