THEY DIDN'T EVEN LET US SEE THE DEAD SNOWBEAST

Ok as others have said, I'm now convinced they didn't make a Snowbeast costume

#Monsterdon

you had the perfect chance to quip “in the end, ‘twas beauty killed the beast” and you BLEW it #monsterdon

Noooo his little creature faceeee
#monsterdon

You won't be able to pull a trigger with those giant gloves dude

#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

❄️ 👹 TRIVIA BEAST ❄️ 👹

You poor naive kids, the answer is that the creature is actually onscreen for

LESS THAN ONE MINUTE! 🙁

#Snowbeast

Excellent, we're back to The Slope again

Yes

#monsterdon

Snowbeast is cold-blooded confirmed.

If it were warm-blooded, those blood splats would be a little deeper.

#Monsterdon

Did Gar just plant his ski poles, crouch, then.... run forward on foot? 🤣 #monsterdon

Maybe the Snowbeast wouldn't need to eat so many people if it didn't waste so much energy snarling and growling literally every breath all the time

#Monsterdon

"Ho ho ho. Now I have a hunting rifle."
-- signed on the sheriff''s corpse
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

So far we have 70% random skiing and snowmobiling footage, 15% monster attacks, 10% love polyhedron, and 5% brilliant nature documentary

#Monsterdon

"I found a gun!"

What a goofy movie this turned out to be.

#Monsterdon

You know, I'd be in a pretty bad mood too if that orchestra kept following me around playing awful tension hooks while a grip off camera kept making growling sounds.

#monsterdon

Snowbeast trying to hide between scattered skinny trees

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

Thank god, skies! I was really worried about that. No worries about no guns.
#monsterdon

@Lazarou @OldRustBucket Those things might be related... I can't eat cheese now, great! #Monsterdon

Get the Giant to move the trees, good

#monsterdon

Wait, why was there a big pile of logs out there in the middle of the woods?

#monsterdon

OK, so Snowbeast is waging war on the local Homo Sapiens, possibly from a grudge that has been festering for millennia

#monsterdon

"In this soundtrack, the yeti will be represented by the big scary tuba!" -- Some jackass composer probably #Monsterdon

And they tragically discover that the Snowbeast is smarter than humans. #monsterdon

plot twist snowbeast is actually box from logan’s run #monsterdon

That bear was another victim of patriarchy.

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

Well that scene ended like an old Doctor Who serial cliffhanger.
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

I have never seen a more blatant Jaws ripoff since all the sequels to Jaws.

#Monsterdon

What? Did they all throw away their guns after the logs hit the camper van? That seems like a bright strategy.

#monsterdon

Shit, now the snowbeast is armed!

#monsterdon #Snowbeast1977

everyone knows you put the guns away for hot cocoa time. it cant be gun time all the time. it just cant.
#Monsterdon

As most anthropologists know, drones flying over New Jersey are not bears but snowbeasts.

#Monsterdon

I'm glad they lost the skis

oh good, back to the barn, one of the 3 locations in this movie.

#monsterdon

Wood-valanche!!! #snowbeast #monsterdon

wait what the FUCK did they just leave him there????? WHERE ARE THE GUNS THEY BROUGHT uhhhhhhhhh #monsterdon

if the beast is human-like, doesn’t that make it a cannibal?

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

lol, did all four of them spend the night in there? Cosy.....

#monsterdon

It never occurs to these people to warn the public about a murderer in a Bigfoot costume.

#Monsterdon #snowbeast

why are we still DOING the love triangle #monsterdon

@diazona this thing is like an onion...... #monsterdon

@Lazarou My sister says probably we are the Greek guy pushing a rock

...she may have a point

#Monsterdon

FUCK THESE SKIIS IN PARTICULAR #Monsterdon

i want octaman to jump out of that camper #monsterdon

Wait, they went off and left the driver's side window down?

Also, snowbeast hates skis.

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

We were all about some Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Yeti back in the 70s. #monsterdon

just the six of us!
#Monsterdon

Suddenly Octaman pops out of the camper like "THIS ONE'S MINE TOO, FOOL!"

(I can dream)

#Monsterdon

“Just the 48 of us!”

“Make that the 49 of us!”

#snowbeast #monsterdon

Tony's not the first guy to elbow his way into the polycule by owning a vehicle with enough seating #monsterdon

Octaman steps out of camper.

#monsterdon #Snowbeast1977

@SesameSquirrel

All kinds of possibilities in this movie, but little execution.

#Snowbeast ❄️ 👹#Monsterdon

the crossed skis on the coffin took me out tho omg
#Monsterdon

ridiculous to just murder a bear without trial. bears are my favourite guy.
#Monsterdon

wuarshington

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

Call off the Winter Carnival? That's crazy talk. #monsterdon

……….. what
They dragged some bear out of hibernation
What is the end game here
#monsterdon

Is the Snowbeast full? I mean, no one's died in the last 12 hours. #Monsterdon

That's a really nice shot of the mountain.
#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

A ski lodge burial?
To Buster, whose life happened amongst his employer

#monsterdon

Was it the Snow Queen @bunnyhero @LK_877 ?

#Monsterdon ❄️ #Snowbeast1977 https://mastodon.social/@SesameSquirrel/113699911343044923

i'm starting to think this movie doesn't actually have an orgy

#monsterdon

Get a room you two – or another barn I suppose.

#monsterdon

Snowbeast screen time is expensive, I can tell. They aren't paying him scale. #monsterdon

Wait. Is this really about Gar confronting his demons and getting back on skis?

#monsterdon

Is this a KISSING movie? #monsterdon

Next scene:

Threesome with Snowbeast

#Monsterdon

Seems to me a giant man would naturally not be a good natural skier

#monsterdon

She can't be a reporter. She has to be a lady reporter.

#Monsterdon #snowbeast

And then the snowbeast breaks down the wall Kool-Aid Man style and kills them both, and not a moment too soon #Monsterdon

snowbeast needs a cocaine landslide

#monsterdon #snowbeast

The giant emoting is more unsettling than see him on skies.

Did Rob Liefeld write this romantic subplot?

#monsterdon

Are they just hanging out at that place where someone was found dead earlier that day?

#monsterdon

LESS BIG MOUTH MORE BIG FOOT #Monsterdon

This relationship is so confusing #monsterdon

Sure, let's start a fire in a hayloft. #monsterdon

felt peckish and got up for a snack. i seem to have missed whatever to lady reporter, Mrs Gar. saw the mess at the school gym though

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

Wow, that's some really stirring music for this skiing scene.

Clearly he is overcoming a great tragedy by going down that mountain at moderate speeds.

#Monsterdon

Quite terrifying watching a mass that large navigate on skies, like Natures own laws are being defied

#monsterdon

I wonder what the snow beast is up to
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Day for night shot!!

Going out at dusk? The yeti isn't crepuscular, though, is it?

#Monsterdon #Snowbeast

#monsterdon This film isn't wasting any runtime explaining why a snow beast suddenly appeared and started attacking people, cars, and real estate, is it? It's just a big ol' monster with aggression and murder in its nature.

Oh wait, does the giant have some subplot about not being about to ski since "the big event?"

Day posing as Night!

#monsterdon

ski for night

never works

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

Gah - nobody wears plaid sportcoats anymore. We used to have style.

#monsterdon

@Victorsigmoid Yeah, in reality everyone would be all enthused about the chance of being famous for killing the first actual Yeti on record. They'd all be going home to get their deer rifles. Hoards of people everywhere with guns, shoot at each other by mistake, because they're all just a bunch of American idiots.

#monsterdon

Gar carrying the crunched Winter Queen crown is what we in the biz call symbolism. #Monsterdon

Ah yes, the classic run 10x in a circle before running out of the building evacuation
#monsterdon

Snowbeast clearly represents male sexual frustration

#monsterdon

You know what the tuba means... she's a goner #monsterdon

1st rule of bigfoot hunting: Separate
2nd rule of bigfoot hunting: Get lost
3rd rule of bigfoot hunting: Cover yoruself in butter, herb and spices

↗️ Sponsored by Bigfoot Council of the USA
#monsterdon

Everyone has goggles, no one seems to wear them.

#monsterdon

I used to live in the forest during the winter and under no circumstance would i have followed the wolf tracks deep into the woods BY MYSELF! Ellen is… an interesting woman. Anything for the news I guess!
#monsterdon

Snowbeast is killing more than characters, he's killing careers. #monsterdon

Insert commercial break here:

#monsterdon

that's a tree gar
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon ⛷️

Several Swedish flags were required to assemble Gar’s outfit. #monsterdon

Kinda jel of Tony and the Giant's spa day....

#monsterdon

He's dressed like the king of the trailer park #monsterdon

They are really into robes. #Monsterdon

I _really_ got spoiled by our evil moon lesbians and now i just want more evil lesbians in every movie

#monsterdon #Snowbeast

this guy is full on named "Gar" and we are expected to believe that he isn't the snowbeast #monsterdon