It was Master Splinter the whole time!

#monsterdon #silverbullet1985

Okay the hair going back in the skin was kind of a cool shot. #monsterdon

Bingo!

#monsterdon

Okay, wait, we've already established that a goddamn bottle rocket did lasting damage to this werewolf. I feel like regular bullets would still be worth having in that gun.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Sounds like the werewolf sat on the pitch bend wheel

#monsterdon

Okay it's possible to say the title of the movie TOO many times.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

"Me and nan were just like you guys. Hunting werewolves, the whole thing."

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

In a well-written story, Big Ed would bite Marty and restore full use of his limbs as part of being a werewolf, and induct him into the Bookhouse Boys to help fight back the darkness #Monsterdon

Of course the movie's climax will be during the hunter's moon

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985

"And then Red gave us a gun! He was a good uncle like that." #monsterdon

The silver is for plugging werewolves not plot holes

#Monsterdon

yo what if there's multiple werewolves and each of them did a murder or two? maybe this other cop is a werewolf too.

#monsterdon

Cop: also a wolf

I have two wolves inside of me and they were both poorly written by Stephen King

#Monsterdon

@rickpelletier Full Body Werewolf was my other stripper name.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

you SEE

you MEDDLING little SHIT

😂

#monsterdon

Oh I totally forgot: the poker game qualifies as "A fun time, interrupted" which I think gives me a legitimate bingo 🤞

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet #MonsterdonBingo

lol, there's always a condemned bridge or one under construction when there's a car chase!

#Monsterdon

Kid pushed the smoke screen button! :D

#monsterdon

Should have known it was the priest when he said “Yiff yiff”

#monsterdon #silverbullet1985

I'm too old be playing Hardy Boys meet Reverend Werewolf!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
Sure, insult his common sense right after you give him fireworks and tricked out his wheel chair.

Okay now the priest hilariously looks like when David Hasselhoff played Nick Fury.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Back when social media was letters cut out of a newspaper.

#Monsterdon

aw man, have you gotten any Sick Room Needs recently? So suck.

#monsterdon

She's right to say no to men wanting to give her a ride though, Final Girl moves...

#monsterdon

@wohali This has captured my attention more than the movie

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

lol, Gary Busey has no recollection of how he got into bed....

#Monsterdon

wait, the motorcycle kills its creator if someone gets hurt on it? that's a strange plot development

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

lol, the insane look as Gary Busey unveils the death chariot he made for Corey Haim

#Monsterdon

This kid has very strong feelings about tits.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Let's walk right towards that smoke machine, there!

#monsterdon

"Now remember everyone, there's bear traps literally every 3 feet out here in Bear Trap Woods."

#monsterdon #SilverBullet

I do love when hunters are caught in their own traps, feels like justice...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon 300 angry 80's townies run into the forest, 150 couples come back to town…

SHERIFF: I’m no J Edgar Hoover… I just share his same passion for wearing women’s clothes.

ANGRY MOB: [in unison] WE DON’T KINK SHAME!

#monsterdon #silverbullet1985

My god the dialogue in this movie hurts more than being eviscerated by a werewolf

#monsterdon #Silverbullet

You don't need to explain to people in a small town what a lynch mob is. Clearly that was for the audience's benefit.. #monsterdon

i'm pretty sure the law is about to be the mauled to death by a werewolf

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

"Okay, now when you find your son's mangled corpse, act like you just stubbed your toe real bad. Annnnnd ACTION!"

#monsterdon #SilverBullet

See? Marty is fine. He's climbing trees, he's saving kites, his wheelchair has a 600cc Harley Davidson engine. Life is good.

#monsterdon #SilverBullet

real. bear. hair.

#monsterdon

How long having the silver bullet revving in a garage before death's sweet embrace liberates the rider?

#Monsterdon

That wheelchair is bitchin I wish I didn't have legs now.

#monsterdon #SilverBullet

HE SAID THE THING

#monsterdon

I'm not wondering what the monster's doin'!

#monsterdon

If you try to commit suicide, but are interrupted and killed by something else does it still count for "going to hell" purposes?

#Monsterdon

@jivens fool. you do not go "viral" on mastodon. you go "woolly". you simpleton. you absolute wood panelled station wagon

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Gotta love the subtlety of Stephen King dialogue

#Monsterdon

anne of green gables is in this?? #monsterdon

Keanu's face is somewhere in this deep fried fever dream.
#Monsterdon #WrongFrogs

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985 I have cousins who have shot better movies then this.

I award Silver Bullet 3 out of 5 out-of-place American accents. It was fine. Not boring or irritating, but nothing to write home about. A quintessentially average werewolf movie.

Having the weird uncle and the snooping kids use various talents to defeat the wolf priest probably kept the film interesting enough to watch.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I love this film! Thanks, #Monsterdon folks. :)

#monsterdon And that's that! Thanks @Taweret and @miru!

should have had Marty being bit and they have to kill him, why else was the Narrator talking like he was gone?

#Monsterdon

and so the voiceover added nothing

ty for joining, everyone

#monsterdon

And Gary Busey gracefully ends his career. #monsterdon

Polymarket. Now. Uncle Red is next to go.

------------

This toot is a reaction to the Monsterdon livestream playing right now at https://miru.miyaku.media ! You can mute the #Monsterdon hashtag to silence these toots from me.

#monsterdon Ahhh, the way old TV stations would just go off the air... Those were better days, when the endless stream of bullshit *actually did stop*

This has more padding than an 8th grade sock hop..... #monsterdon

This guy has made silver bullets before....

#Monsterdon

Scenario: You're a gun shop owner and Gary Busey walks into your shop wanting silver bullets

#Monsterdon

Give the children guns

#monsterdon #silverbullet1985

Not even a rat--that was a gerbil!

#Monsterdon

The werewolf has gotten slower and slower to kill people as the film goes on.

The train guy he decapitates in a single swipe.

The woman he mauls for about 30 seconds.

Then he beats the dude with his own baseball bat.

Finally he can't even kill Marty in one try.

#monsterdon

@Taweret we're in store for some draggin-out

#Monsterdon

Next, on The Bridges of Werewolf County.

YES, go investigate the maybe-monster, probably-serial-killer, AT NIGHT, without backup. Admittedly the deputy is dead. But still.
#monsterdon #silverBullet

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling shit" #Monsterdon

Metaphor: The Movie

#Monsterdon

@Taweret Us?

#monsterdon

Few things are as sinister as Everritt McGill dressed as a priest, with an eye patch and stalking teenage boys...mercifully only to eat them

#Monsterdon

Marty time to show that furry priest what your chair is made of.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

I'm still holding out for a surprise twist where two townsfolk got similar eye injuries on the same day. #Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985

Okay but I would read the hell out of "The Hardy Boys vs Reverand Werewolf"

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Don’t shame him just because you discovered his fursona!

#monsterdon #silverbullet1985

Rev Nick Fury

#Monsterdon

Cool eye patch though.

#Monsterdon

When has going with a priest to lay down in his parlor ever been a bad idea? Never, obviously.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

If reality has taught us anything, it's probably the priest.

#monsterdon

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN

#monsterdon

"unwrap me Teenage girl, I don't mind"

#Monsterdon

"Unfortunately, it was Pirate Week in town, so literally everyone was wearing an eyepatch."

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Whoa right in the eye? Nice shot Marty.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

@bryanhowell they get the werewolf to ride the motorcycle and- wait no hang on

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

Back in real-life Marty is sad that his friend died and the girl he liked left town, but then his dad cheers him up by giving him a giant motorcycle wheelchair that is decked out with fires and Loud Pipes, which he thinks is very cool and so he drives off doing wheelies on the road and the dad is like "uh oh i hope he doesn't crash his cool wheelchair i hope i didn't make a mistake."

#monsterdon

"I haven't even shown you the best part; push this button, and twin 50mm cannons emerge from the chassis, here."

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

cancelled fireworks are definitely a chekov's gun

#monsterdon #SilverBullet1985 #BadWhuf1985

the vigilante mob searches the woods at night and then gets stuck in fog and eaten by a werewolf. the next day or so everyone is back in church and singing Amazing Grace because more townsfolk have been eaten.

The priest is like "man this is tough i dunno what to tell you" and Captain Eggplant is like "there is no comfort only private jealous" and then the priest is like "um... the bible and..." but then it's night and the sheriff and the congregation all turn into werewolves.

#monsterdon

The fact that it was a dream does explain the creepy way everyone was swaying as they sang.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

The minister picked the wrong day to try LSD. #monsterdon

I was preaching in the church, late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight

#Monsterdon

Wait, absolutely no church service i have been to involves people swinging back and forth during a hymn. Is this a thing??

#monsterdon

Look I'm gonna be honest, I would NOT be in town for church at this point. I'd be nine states over.

#Monsterdon #SilverBullet

That was just objectively funny

#Monsterdon

lol, blood soaked sex doll....

#Monsterdon

all i can say is that if i were a mummy or dracula then i would only attack people when the moon was full to fake everyone out

#monsterdon #freeadvice

Double bear trap gag is a classic

#Monsterdon

This is going to be fun watching these guys get murdered on-by-one
#Monsterdon

The time scale in this film's confusing. Hours, days, weeks passing?

HAH, the preacher is Big Ed Hurley from Twin Peaks!!!

The law has a NAME for what you're planning! It's vigilante superheroes! You're badasses, go lynch some people!

"My son was torn to Reeses Pieces! The candy popularlized by E.T.! Look at this ad for the sweet candy shell & peanut butter filling! JUST LIKE MY DEAD BOY!" (I'm saying baldy is a bad actor.)

#monsterdon #silverBullet

My son died OFF CAMERA

(tiny, squeaky voice)

...off camera!

#Monsterdon