The funniest thing about werewolves is that people just stand there watching their transformation, which is a power they share with magical girls. #monsterdon
"Variety wrote, "'Silver Bullet' is a Stephen King filmette from his scriptette from his novelette which may sell some tickettes but not without regrettes ... the kids have a silver bullet, the only known power that will stop a werewolf. Unfortunately, there's no known power that will stop films like this."[16]" #monsterdon
have fun explaining to the cops why the minister's corpse is in your house naked with no eyes
OH NO MOLOTOV COCKTEASE IS THE WEREWOLF
If you watch one werewolf wheelchair car chase movie this year watch "Silver Bullet" #Monsterdon #SilverBullet
@CactuarJoe #Monsterdon #SilverBullet #StephenKing πΊπ₯πΏ
1-877-GUNS-4-KIDS
@Taweret Be fair, tho, it's not like there's anyone left in town to arrest them. #monsterdon
Practical upshot, tho, the werewolf basically depopulated a small down all by himself. Given some of the clumsy ass werewolves we've seen on #monsterdon, that's a pretty impressive achievement.
like this whole sequence feels very kids movie
but there's eyes being gouged out in other scenes
who did they think their audience was
Ignoring the "kill yourself" note because I noticed the Robo Force toy on the kid's desk.
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
My 17yo is sitting in the living room at 9:00 on a Sunday.
"Oh, are you going to watch #monsterdon with us?"
"Nope"
And he noped right out of here. π
@forestine accu-rette
"Hm. The reverend has a soundtrack of scary violins in his garage. That's suspicious." #monsterdon
Wait *suicide* is the greatest sin?
Not murder? Y'know, the one that has a whole commandment dedicated to it?
(I guess technically "thou shalt not kill" isn't explicit about the killing being done to someone else)
"You medling little shit!" How every old man who had to deal with Scooby Doo felt.
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
I once disappointed a young boy holding a snake by going βoh cool, what a great snake!β instead of screaming and running away as he had hoped
I didn't always know that people laughed about my #Monsterdon posts, but I had a pretty good feeling about tonight. I knew I'd thank @Taweret the first chance I'd get, and I was always thankful to the Monsterdon crew for their brilliaπͺ³π₯π΄
βYEAH
And so they fucked off into the night.
Thanks for watching tonight, fam. It was a lot of fun. And not that bad of a movie. Although this ending song isβ¦ oh buddy, so many 80s flashbacksβ¦
Anyway, I'm done. Take care of each other. Be kind, spread love, watch 80s horror movies just 'cuz.
Goodnight!
They were out of money before they commissioned the closing credits theme song.
@CactuarJoe see i thought marty was going to die for the entire thing because of that #monsterdon
Mr. Zimmerman must have AMAZING hearing to hear him over a running tractor
update: bagels were VERY GOOD
This concludes my #monsterdon thread for Silver Bullet (1985), in which we learned that motorcycle wheelchairs are very cool if you are a teenage boy in a wheelchair, but that they also can help you escape murderous Werewolf Priests that you have annoyed with illicit firework shows in the woods.
Until next week, um, remember to not search the woods for werewolves at night if you can avoid it. I think that's probably good advice if you live in a werewolf movie.
there was literally no point in the voiceover #monsterdon
Why is she telling this story like Marty didn't make it?
fuck it *unweres your wolf*
Two eyes, no waiting. #monsterdon
I feel like Uncle Red missed his calling as an engineer. That's some solid craftsmanship on that thing.
Watching the child drive down the road in a wheelchair motorcycle and finally realizing this is a very silly film #monsterdon
Whai Jane. Youah trehmblin'. Mah sinister countenance isn't fraightenin' you is it, daaaaahlin'? #monsterdon
This child is more likely to die by fireworks or road accidents than werewolf attacks
He has a picture of his son torn to pieces? What the fuck? #Monsterdon
Warewolf eats the weed farm and then just sits there like a dog on cbd oil
"Here's $2.76, the agreed-upon penalty for pushing you in the mud."
@rebeld To be fair they have a dead naked reverend at 3:30am in the living room with two kids in a home without their parents, itβs not looking good for the church and I guess people are just going to try to sweep this under the rug
So was the narration intended as a eulogy for Marty, or...? #monsterdon
Werewolf is the Coolaid Man?
OH YEAH!!
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
How many times has Gary Busey fallen asleep in a chair with a gun in his lap
Two gas powered wheelchairs named Silver Bullet. An actual bullet made of silver. This movie might have to many titular items?
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
This station wagon survived Hercules in New York
Reverend Lowe. I just got that. He's not the highest of the high, he's the... Etc etc. #monsterdon
I don't see how this goes on for another twenty minutes
Yeah, the werewolf in this movie is more believeable than the cops. #monsterdon
"So I went around town clearly looking for something, while also unarmed and vulnerable!" #monsterdon
My guess: the priest is the werewolf
It's either that or a metaphor for Stephen King's coke addiction
And that's how the forest burned down.
"Whose bike is this?" "It's a chopper baby." "Whose chopper is this?" "MARTY'S FUCKIN CHOPPER."
He was a menace before, now he's the real monster of Tarker's Mills.
This is one of those Stephen King joints that is both a thinly veiled allegory of the horrors of alcoholism AND an overt depiction of the horrors of alcoholism
"To shreds, you say?"
Later that night, one cop finds a bloody kite that I think was flown by the snake throwing boy, so the next day or so the main family have a funeral to go to where a priest says strange priest things.
The dad volunteers to take Marty (the boy in a wheelchair) home via his fancy car and the boy suggests "yo what if the murders are done by a monster" having correctly guessed the film's genre.
Private Justice was also my stripper name.
Okay so this movie really is Jaws with a werewolf.
90% of snake related injuries in America are males who instigated the interaction
So! This version is MUCH BETTER than the previous version from tumblr. I'd actually recommend this version.
edit: oops wrong tags lol but now i'm leaving them in but adding the correct ones xD
#baking #pretzelstrawberryjello #monsterdon #SilverBullet1985 #BadWhuf1985
Corey Haim & Gary Busey must've been 60% of the budget, & the Silver Bullet chopper another 20%, because Big Ed was cheap, & nobody else could act at all. It was embarassing watching this school play level production, with good SFX for only two scenes.
I like a short story, directly adapted to film, no plot curves just YES that's the guy, YES get 'im. Good plan, Ray.
The music did not work, at all. This is not John Carpenter.
β
β
Β½ββ
#monsterdon #silverBullet
@RobynGoodfellow @Taweret He's a priest, he's naked, there's kids. What's there to explain? He'll have been retroactively reassigned to, I dunno, somewhere in Alabama by dawn.
nice movie. but that voiceover was about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
What is this synth love song ending? It's not good and really doesn't fit.
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
And so Gary Busey barks at the moon and we all live happily ever wolf-less
thanks @Taweret as usual and have a good...
wait there's a credits song?! whut?!!!
well, my wolves have been thoroughly worn
So they kill the werewolf who immediately turns back into the creepy reverend.
Leaving nothing to back up their story.
So that's why she narrated, Marty was in jail, charged as an adult for premeditated murder.
PLOT TWIST: the narrator was the werewolf the whole time
"The moon is full, and your parents are gone" said Gary Busey, priming the flamethrower...
"Why don't you tell me how Lowe became a werewolf?"
It's a fungal infection. We need a silver can of foot powder. #monsterdon
Sure wonder if Corey Haim's later troubles in life were at all influenced by Gary Busey during the filming of this film.
Make bullets for the child, that's a healthy thing to do Gary Busey
No more villain monologuing, thank you. We want a werewolf, not a why-wolf!
Werewolf with an eyepatch driving down the road one way.
Vampire with a NOS4A2 license plate driving the other way.
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
Meaningful Shots of Legs. This movie has all the subtlety of an unflushed toilet. #monsterdon
Look just give the priest a nice new silver cross necklace for... national priests' day or whatever.
bwahahhaha that was a GREAT smart ass comment
Follow the money! More murders = more funerals!
all those beer cans, that garage must STINK
I'd like to try walking into a barber shop and unwrapping someone.
I expect I'd only be able to do it once.
Hm. Uncle's got two eyes. Guess it's the priest then. #monsterdon
If Marty takes that thing to 88 miles an hour he can travel back to before this movie was made and prevent it.
i like the low rumbly bwaaaa fm synth going on #monsterdon
OH THAT HURTS MUH PARTS
I bet this movie is Stephen King thinking he understands the Disabled now...
Turns out Gary Busey was always Gary Busey.
Silver Bullet! He said it! He said the thing!
"suicides go to hell, especially if they're pregnant, and i don't even care"
but goats go to heaven!
Very glad to see one of the Coreys, though
@paco @ryan #monsterdon #WrongWolf
"HDMI cable" = High-Definition Mescaline Ingestion
Keanu's face is somewhere in this deep fried fever dream.
#Monsterdon #WrongFrogs
They should've made a whole series of these, with Marty in his chopper, his sister, & Red finding monsters living in small-town America & harassing them to death.
Silver Bullet 2: Draculas Got Wood (I guess this is just Salem's Lot)
Silver Bullet 3: Mummy Three-Way
Silver Bullet 4: See the Invisible Man
yo... the afterparty on https://miru.miyaku.media/ is KILLING IT
I actually know somebody who has worked on a Royal Navy Submarine and I'll add "did you have screen doors inside" to my long list of questions.
The moral of the story was very clear β always wear eye protection around fireworks, kids.
Stephen King adaptations are better when they are based on short stories and have to improvise some of the story to have a coherent plot.
Now that can be messy and add useless narration, but still better than adapting a door stop of a book.
#Monsterdon #SilverBullet1985
@CactuarJoe I feel like this *would* have been a strong contender if not some epically terrible films we have seen earlier this year (sideeye at various flavors of Hercules)
What. the literal. Eff. Is up. With this credits song?
and that's it, ms. narrator lady? who ended up going to jail because they killed a reverend??
Well, thanks for watching #monsterdon with me everyone! Special thanks to @Taweret for putting up with our shit each and every week, and to helpers @JoeWynne @cherizilla and @ryan for the help along the way.
See y'all next week!
"I never saw Marty again after that night."
"Hey sis who are you talking to?"
"Go away Marty you booger I'm doing my memoirs!"