In the year 2274, people drove cars that were still better looking than the Cybertruck.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon #dink

70s Roddenberry was just... he had two modes:

genuine utopian idealism about humanity's potential

and

"What if women had power... but like... SEXY power... and also they're wrong and need a man to fix it... but SEXY'

#monsterdon

fuck you, gene

anyway, ty for joining, everyone!

#monsterdon

I mean,

OBJECTIVELY SPEAKING

it probably wasn't ACTUALLY the worst movie we've seen on #Monsterdon. The plot was gross, but it made sense. The people making it were competent, the scenes were professional, the acting was... Reasonable.

But how can you sit down and watch people act out Gene Roddenberry's personal fetishes for an hour and ten minutes and NOT come out the other end feeling like you'd just been dipped in used motor oil?

this whole "movie"

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Being awake in the middle of the night while #Monsterdon is on but with no context for what they're watching or what's going on is pretty wild

On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dink

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

you know, instead of making this movie, they could have not

#monsterdon

let us never speak of this again. please

#monsterdon

Please don't tire US with any more stories!

Thank you for NOT making a series of this...

and thank you #monsterdon for watching this slop with me! I feel more sane only because all of you were here with me. Love you all

Extra love to @Taweret @cherizilla for running this crazy boat... see you next week!

this movie is gonna make me wanna travel back in time and beat gene Roddenberry with a baseball bat isn't it?

#monsterdon

Diana Muldaur with her hair down, though… :blobfoxblushmore:

You deserved to be in a better movie, ma'am

#Monsterdon

I'm refusing to check off "Bechdel Pass" on the bingo card on principle

#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

the nicest thing I can say about this movie so far is that it's halfway over

#Monsterdon

I had only middling expectations for “Planet Earth” but it really underwhelmed them. That was terrible to begin with and has aged poorly since.

Worse yet, I have nobody to blame but myself, since I voted for this terrible thing.

Now I need to watch “Destroy All Monsters” to cleanse the palate.

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Unsolicited dink pics.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"I'd like to see the male who could dominate me."

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #dink

Me and the dinks when the whips come out

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Alright, congratulations everybody, you survived. Good job.

Now. Was PLANET EARTH (1974) the WORST #MONSTERDON MOVIE OF THE YEAR?

#Monsterdon

This is embarrassing on a *number* of levels. #Monsterdon

Stop it with the horny oboe music, movie. You have not earned it.

#monsterdon

It’s got Temu Raquel Welch!

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

I think my favorite part of this movie was @Taweret posting, "fuck you, gene"

#monsterdon
#PlanetEarth1974

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon The wood-gas death stationwagon is the best part of the whole show.

Y'know, it used to be I wondered how shit like the second episode of TNG happened. Seeing this movie is at least an explanation of where shit like THAT came from. #Monsterdon

I am amusing myself by imagining that John Saxon's character is gay and dicking around because he doesn't know how to flirt with a woman. This movie is so bad it's making me invent another bad movie.
#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Yeah. This is way too boring for kids and way too stupid for adults. #monsterdon

Question for Monsterdonians: what does everyone think Roddenberry was on when he wrote that?

#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth

@neia oh god I could not have stood a 2 and a half hour Planet Earth (1974). I'm considering jumping out a window just THINKING about it D: #Monsterdon

@strangefour 👍

For me it's more like reminding me that there are whole depths of badness below what I had previously considered bad

#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Planet Earth! Another shining example that if you're an old white guy with something to say, maybe just don't.

Thank you Gene Roddenberry for your visions of the future where most problems can be solved with drunken flirting 🖖❤️🍷

...and thanks to @Taweret and the #Monsterdon toot team for making this bearable. You're all the tight pants around the paunchy Saxon butt of my heart. 🫶

@CactuarJoe Maybe not the very worst, but definitely the ickiest.

#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

"a thousand new adventures, this has been one of them"

I would not actually describe it that way, no

#monsterdon

well at least it wasn't boring but god what a bad movie lol

#monsterdon

A thousand new adventures you won’t hear about because this isn’t going to series. #Monsterdon

Gene Roddenberry's Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang #Monsterdon

Enter Dink Dragon

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

this is the longest episode of horny star trek

#Monsterdon

The real monster here is Roddenberry

#monsterdon

does it count as a bechdel pass if the women discuss only matriarchy and only a man if the man is treated as property in a matriarchy #monsterdon

Dickhead's Log, earthdate who gives a shit

"I'm continuing to love being a piece of shit here in the future"

#Monsterdon

I know what you're thinkin… “Did he fire six pews or only five?”

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

#monsterdon Still better than Vampire of Bikini Beach.

Well, if nothing else, #monsterdon didn't get bored at this film, it RAGED at this film

Imagining Majel Barrett and Nichelle Nichols both domming Gene like this, you've shared too much dude...too much!

#Monsterdon

Guy I know who took a course from Harlan Ellison is writing scifi books now.

He's utterly convinced this kind of thing is the peak of the art form - because "sex sells."

Y'all are proof he is full of shit, thank you so much 🙏

#monsterdon

Mid-century sci-fi was obsessed with “in the future everyone is on drugs.”

They weren’t wrong.

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Oh wait! She's Dr. Pulaski! That's why she looks familiar

#Monsterdon

Women sparring - Roddenberry's OTHER undisguised fetish

#Monsterdon

for a society that is based entirely around slap fighting for dominance that matriarch lady sucks ass at fighting #monsterdon

A RAM? In this economy?

#Monsterdon

are there

* two women
* who have a conversation
* about something other than a dink

#monsterdon

It is the 22nd century and Elon Musk's "Boring Company" has delivered its first hyperloop. Investors, 7 generations removed from the original investors, are thrilled.
#monsterdon

@Taweret

And die.

#monsterdon

I used to own a 1977 Chrysler Town & Country station wagon in worse shape than that Kruer war wagon.

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

This movie is terrible, but I regret that Ted Cassidy didn’t get to do this role again.

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

Wow that was just awful. Lol. #monsterdon

Oh wow. "People's lib?"

I can't believe he came out with the old "all libs matter"

#Monsterdon

@paco

"I bought mine before Elon became a Kreeg!"

#Monsterdon

chekhov's dink

#monsterdon

I think the main bad guy was the head biker in Every Which Way But Loose. #monsterdon

This movie is making me think Deathrace 2000 was a cinematic masterpiece of subtlety
#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

"I think it depends on how well he understands female psychology."

I don't think Roddenberry understands female psychology.

#monsterdon

@ohiofi Oh yeah, here come the Givers of Pain and Delight! #monsterdon

"come on in and browse my collection of dinks."

#monsterdon

I wonder what the sub shuttle is doing right now

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

oh my god even the fighting is star trek

#monsterdon

I was a Trekkie middle-schooler when this came out. I’m amazed I survived the pervasive hegemonic slop being dished up. Thanks y’all for making this re-screening bearable! And to @Taweret, @Cherizilla and @JoeWynne for making it actually fun 😀. #Monsterdon

@Taweret cheers! Most blatant "the writers barely concealed fetish" since that Bee horror!

#Monsterdon

@paco I couldn't imagine a cybertruck lasting a decade, let alone to the 22nd century #Monsterdon

@yatsu Dear Gene, #Monsterdon

#monsterdon But seriously, how can you have a show about a guy from the 20th century who gets frozen and thawed in the 22nd century, and not have exactly that happen DURING the pilot?

And so the futuristic dinks fucked off back to their futuristic compound with what someone might confuse for architecture, and Gene Roddenberry fucked off to whatever wet cave he emerged from when he created this piece of work

Diana Muldaur is I think the only part of the movie I liked, but even she couldn't get those limp lines out.

Truly a post-apocalypse story.

#Monsterdon

god that was gross #Monsterdon

AND THEN THEY ALL LAUGHED

HA HA HA

HA

HA

>:(

#Monsterdon

Being as charitable as possible, Gene is talking about slavery and the confederacy... but still comes across as a sexist asshole.

#monsterdon

do I HAVE to finish this

#monsterdon

Which dink band is your fav?

#monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

"Slowly destroying our Confederacy"

Oh no, how terrible...

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Gene Roddenberry's undisguised fetish.

#Monsterdon #PlanetEarth1974

"that's prime breeder stock if I'm any judge"

this is amazingly misogynistic for a matriarchy premise

#Monsterdon

"please, go away"

the most relatable line so far in this movie

#monsterdon

"one question and then I'll obey all your rules"

I assure you that he won't

#Monsterdon

Old people never look great in the Star Trek onsies, do they?

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I’m definitely going with “yes” on this—definitely the worst of the year, so far, but we’ve only just begun. We have a long way to go yet.

#Monsterdon

@diazona @skatem definitely something you pick up on Risa #Monsterdon

They did this whole elaborate inverse gender values thing to justify the matriarchal society and then completely abandoned it to go for "having more soldiers is good" and "fucking is also good" #monsterdon

@bunnyhero Am I reading this right? Hoopla users rated Planet Earth (1974) five stars?!? 😭

#Monsterdon

wanted to post this contemporaneously but airplane wifi was too flaky #monsterdon

#monsterdon GET IN LOSER, WE'RE GOING TO SURGERY.

i would say "that was something" but i'm not entirely sure if it even qualifies for *that*

#Monsterdon

some weird kid saw that once in 1974 and it was all he could think about for years #Monsterdon

Jesus christ, it's finally over. Thank god. #Monsterdon

Gene. Gene I'm coming over there with a baseball bat. Gene, start running now while you still can. #Monsterdon

never mind the kissing is worse go back to talking! go back to talking!

#monsterdon