#Monsterdon somebody's gonna get laserblasted soon

... meanwhile in Acapulco...
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Day 57 of Billy's shirtlessness continues unabated.

#monsterdon

Wonder what's going on in Acapulco.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

@Lazarou This is the lamest foiling I've ever seen.
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon That is a mythically powerful badminton racquet.

LOL @ new scene....no shirt!

#Monsterdon

ma'am, don't apologize, you haven't done anything wrong-- okay, besides the part where you voluntarily signed up to be in this movie, but the script's not your fault. #monsterdon

She gave him a backhanded compliment, hey-oh! #Monsterdon

🎵It’s my party, I can eat half of the cake if I want to 🎶

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

It’s both a Coke and a Pepsi movie! #Monsterdon

Tennis racket or Laser Blaster? 🤔

#monsterdon

"Overhead smash him!" #monsterdon

Her hair looks pretty good for having just been in the pool.

#monsterdon

Billy's missing a golden opportunity to laserblast these harassers. That's unforgivable #monsterdon

help I'm getting paneling poisoning #monsterdon

this is one of the most pathetic fights on the history of movies
#monsterdon

Will there, at any point, be anything in this movie that has any significance for things that happen at any other point in this movie?

#Monsterdon

and so they awkwardly grappled in silence and it just kept going

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon If they aren’t going to get stoned, maybe we should? It might make this movie cohesive if we’re as stoned as the producers were in making this… series of scenes at a Valium factory.

I've hated a lot of Monsterdon protagonists but this guy is up there in the top three.

Foiling a sexual assault ain't even winning me over, he holds that tennis racket like he's never seen violence before...

#Monsterdon

ACTION DEEZEN!

#monsterdon

This scene is reminding me of the Simpson's "Mil…pool" cast-signing scene. #obscureSimpsonsReference

#monsterdon

They are pretty clearly not selling soft drinks right?

#monsterdon

@MatthewTitus88 like a Claylien, that would be interesting

#Monsterdon

Lord, I can smell the chlorine. #Monsterdon

Even the characters are brown

#monsterdon

At Meemaw's house, everything is brown

#monsterdon

Damnit, he said "nucular". #monsterdon #laserblast

"She went inside to get changed"

'Course that was two weeks ago, so...

#Monsterdon

fucking supermarket cake

#Monsterdon

did that qualify as passing the bechdel test?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Remember when this movie had a laser in it?

Unexpected Bechdel pass on the cake!

#monsterdon #laserblast

Another 45min of water frolicking perhaps?

#monsterdon

"I wonder why no one wants any cake"

Uh.... this is not a REAL 70s party. #monsterdon

Something about the way he keeps his tatty trainers on while reclining on that sun lounger makes me feel very uncomfortable

Why is any of this? Bring back the Alien Turtle men!

Sideboob? That's what all this is for?

Fucking 70s...

#Monsterdon

Two bumbling cops try to find two bumbling aliens. Now that is the movie I want
#monsterdon

We need more mayhem #monsterdon

The movie has even put Billy to sleep. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

Definitely a lot of pacing problems and filler shots. Not as bad as Manos, but it's that end of the scale. #monsterdon

@Lazarou It was mandatory in the 1970s #monsterdon

"I feel kinda lazy right now."

I think this is Billy's default mode.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

#monsterdon It was a bold choice not to give this movie any likable characters.

Why the bikini pool party though, why?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon chuck and froggy are totally a closet couple. the overcompensation is oozing out.

"Feeling kinda lazy right now."

"Lazy.... blaster?"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Yay! The space turtles are obviously the real stars.

Suddenly Billy gets shy about being shirtless... #monsterdon

Gus seems to understand the turtles and seems concerned.

#monsterdon

@ramsey no

#monsterdon #laserblast

Get in Loser!

We're going to find some turtle shells to cover up with.

#Monsterdon

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled boring movie

#Monsterdon

Grateful to the mystery science theater cast for providing the translation

#monsterdon #Laserblast #mst3k

#monsterdon The trope of surveillance cameras always having the exact same cinematic camera angles we've already seen always bugs me.

And it's not just B movies! Top-tier Hollywood movies do this too! How hard would it be to shoot this from a second angle? Maybe an overhead angle?

Oh, I read they hired a linguist to create a plausible alien language just like in Arrival.

#Monsterdon

Movie honks so far, but the claymation turtle alien dudes can stay. They're cool.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Lizard language. It's adorable.

Oh goody just like the wookies from the Christmas special, these aliens are not subtitled or translated.

#monsterdon #Laserblast #mst3k

ET's Medallion doubles as a way to find the Arc's location in the ancient map room

#monsterdon

The claymation is the best acting #Monsterdon

Anyway, a lot of nothing has been happening. Time for a recap.

#Monsterdon

this should be whole the movie right here. lil claymation aliens talking in simlish

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon oh gosh, I hope this isn't some weird time loop and the guy at the beginning was future billy all jacked up from using that gun.

Also, these aliens are hella good with the bling

She tells him her father will shoot him if he shows his face again.

Why do fathers hate us ne'er do wells so much?

#Monsterdon

Leader Alien: What have you discovered about planet earth?

Aliens: They are not totes adorbs. We are definitely still the most totes adorbs.

Leader Alien: Are you sure? Have you checked them all?

Aliens: We have nothing to worry about.

Leader Alien: Great. Destroy them anyway.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

#Monsterdon looks like the alien spaceship has a dodgy catalytic converter. Or sawdust in the tranny.

#Monsterdon this is how critters started

Ovie passed Gretzky today for most caeer NHL goals. He is 1239 assists behind Wayne-O though. Don't think he'll catch him. #monsterdon

I feel like everyone my age has a photo of their mom or aunt in one of those incredibly unflattering bikini tops

#Monsterdon

Oh, I see why he's not been wearing a shirt this whole time. It was so we could see the rash that the necklace thing causes.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

The stop-motion aliens appear to be wearing absorbent undergarments #monsterdon

#Monsterdon I don’t think Billy has human emotions. Which is fine.

finally, back to the aliens!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon yayyyyy claymmation lizard men are back

@allanb
Maybe same production team as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

#Monsterdon

"You, me, and the sky ... like a giant cup."

What is she talking about?

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

In the seventies it was illegal for anyone under 20 to button their shirt. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

Jeez, girl. He's already weapons-grade mediocre. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Billy couldn’t stop at just one pill of Valium. He took a handful. Also, he naps a lot.

this was ad-libbed wasn't it

#Monsterdon

Sorry, Billy's off playing with his #laserblaser #monsterdon

He is totally more trouble than he is worth.

#Monsterdon

"Where you been all morning?"

"Laser blasting."

#monsterdon #laserblast

"where you been all morning?"
look at him, ma'am. he's clearly been smoking every last leaf in the tri-state area all morning.
#monsterdon

"Pacing! What is it, and how can it work for you?"

#Monsterdon

The laser glove stays ON during sex 😏
#monsterdon

I thought she was on a bicycle and the sound was a 1970s era vibrator.

#monsterdon

I wonder what the guys at Tubi think when, every Sunday, one of the worst films they offer trends positively... #Monsterdon #laserblast

@himbovoorhees the entire cast and crew of this #Monsterdon were stoned. That much is very clear.

Everything else is quite hazy though

@DianeLevesque you didn't miss much. there's this guy who found a laser. that's about it. #monsterdon

@Lazarou All of this is happening because the characters all stepped out of the Dukes of Hazzard to meet stop-motion aliens.

#Monsterdon

Oh - the scourge of the 1970s movie - a suit.

#monsterdon

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid #monsterdon

#monsterdon There's no way that loop is fitting around his head ... Oh, never mind I guess.

Well, we're getting our money's worth of LASERBLASTING now!

#Monsterdon

I'm not clear on whether we're supposed to be happy for this loser or fear the terror he's about to unleash.

#monsterdon #laserblast

That pendant was not nearly big enough to go over his head.

Also this organ score makes this scene sound like a villain origin story scene.

#Monsterdon

oh boy... #monsterdon

it shoots lasers but can it button a shirt #Monsterdon