A few minutes after the movie ended, and I'm still sitting here trying to figure out if it ever really began

#Monsterdon

hey! they shot the lab scenes in a real lab! #monsterdon

@brooke It does what it says on the tin!

#monsterdon #laserblast

I have no idea what the heck this movie was, but thanks @Taweret for hosting! And thanks to all you folks who voted to subject us to this.

#Monsterdon

Ahh sweet relief, thank you giant Claylien

#Monsterdon

movie's over. time to put my shirt back on. #monsterdon

the good news is, she's free to go chat up that cake girl now. a happy ending for everyone. #monsterdon

@randy_s I felt sorry for the car, and Froggy #Monsterdon

Everything getting laser-blasted is a far better ending than this movie deserves.

It's not a good ending, mind, just better than it deserves.

#monsterdon

Took you guys long enough to finish the job!
Wait so you guys are like 15 feet tall? Huh.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Stoner cop lives, Stoner dude dies. What's wrong with you, movie?

#monsterdon #laserblast

Do you mean the aliens could have come down and ended the movie at any time!? Thanks to @Taweret for hosting. That one's gonna leave scars though. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

Huh. If only they’d taken the weapon away the first time.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

Sorry, this is so embarrassing, but we seem to have run out of movie. Could I recommend the chicken cordon bleu instead? #monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Special thanks to @Taweret for hosting! I suspect there are also plenty of tomatoes sailing through the air in the general direction of @mwl for catalyzing this particular viewing!

Tonight we watched #Laserblast, from 1978, which has some distinction as being a genuinely bad movie. Highlights included,

i hope she makes it back to the scout troop those kids need merit badges #Monsterdon

So did the aliens steal the gun? Vaporize it?

Oh shit we're rolling credits already? What the hell?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon well that was .... not great ... but it DID BLAST a lot of LASERS at things and people so I can't complain!

Turtle dude is like 12 feet tall. #monsterdon

aaand freeze frame. perfect, no notes. #monsterdon

FUCK! That was it?

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Ain't nothing out here but rattlesnakes and turtles with no shells.

#monsterdon #laserblast

I could make a list of all the things that happened in this move, and the number that could have been deleted without having any effect whatsoever on the way it ended is all of them

#Monsterdon

Go go giant Claylien!

#Monsterdon

Okay so I don't understand any of this plot but I want to make it super clear that I'm not saying this so that anyone explains it to me

#Monsterdon
#Laserblast

What's alien for "It's Miller Time"? #Monsterdon #Laserblast

@gnomon Somebody's light bill isn't going to get paid and it's going to be extremely inconvenient!

#monsterdon #laserblast

Aww he's hopping and skipping now. Billy is having the time of his alien gun possessed life.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Oh, those are much bigger than I thought they were
#Monsterdon

Alien, don't you think that was a little overkill there. I mean, you got him.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Producer: We need to cut our green makeup budget by 50%. Who’s got ideas? #monsterdon

okay I enjoyed that shot

#Monsterdon

HELL YEAH ALIEN SPACE RAYS

#monsterdon

I guess they run out of "actors acting as cops" budget
#monsterdon

Oh! There we go! Called it! #monsterdon #laserblast

Don't you see? Billy has *become* the weapon. And so, he must be destroyed.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

what is even happening

how was Roddy McDowell in this movie

#monsterdon #laserblast

FUCK THE NEWS

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

Ruh roh now the postal cops are gonna have to get him

oh we just went federal

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

i wonder why the laserblast gives the wielder bad posture as well

#monsterdon

Billy is like, "Do I blow up the patrol car or the cop in the out house?" 🤔

"Maybe both." 👍

#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

Dual mufflers on that police car.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

I wanna learn to dance like Billy after he blows up a lot of shit with his laser
#Monsterdon

This movie is doubling it's pyro budget in the last ten minutes.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Us cyclists are becoming more #teamlaserblast by the minute #monsterdon

@hollie same same

We have suffered enough for this, we deserve it

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

They blew the whole budget on Roddy McDowel.

OMG, the interpretative dance!

#Monsterdon

Frankly I was OK with all his laserblasting up until he killed van hippie. #Monsterdon

yes, this all needs slow motion, this was a noble choice

#Monsterdon

billy just wants it all to end now, he's blowing stuff up to attract the wrong kind of attention. #monsterdon

he's gonna start spinning it around real fast and using it fly and then he's gonna find gamera and they're gonna get into a fight and gamera's going to be about to win but then gamera's gonna get hurt real bad and laserblast is gonna be all HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR but we won't hear it because they couldn't afford the sound and then gamera's going to get away with the help of some children for a while (because he's friend to all children) and

#monsterdon #laserblast

We have reached the "laserblasting everything within range" part of the movie and I am here for it

#Monsterdon

laserblast it. lasterblast it all

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

These aliens need to step up their game and put this laser wielding knucklehead out of our misery. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

OK, now he's just blowing things up indiscriminately. Dude that does not justify a victory dance!

#monsterdon

"Ain't nothin' out here but rattlesnakes & turtles"

You have NO idea.

#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

7 minutes to go! I believe in us!

#Monsterdon
#Laserblast

Is this movie just about Billy shooting up things the writer in particular hates? Cops. Bullies. Hippies. Star Wars. Pinball?

#monsterdon #laserblast

How did we end up in NYC? #Monsterdon

Billy's attacking the backlot at Universal Studios! #Monsterdon

I know Billy's psychology is kinda messed up now, but that was a rude way to treat a hippie giving you a lift. Good thing the driver wasn't necessary for a smooth ride #monsterdon

#monsterdon was… was that car made out of napalm?

this movie is gonna end eventually right?
#monsterdon

Oh yeah I forgot about them... #monsterdon

#monsterdon So why did the space lizards even build a gun that turns the shooter into a zombie?

What was even the plan?

We no longer have Star Wars sign

#Monsterdon

shit, that music from when Froggy and whatshisname were driving that Chevy got stuck in my head

#monsterdon

The most sympathetic character in the movie is the hippie driver who picks Billy up. #monsterdon

Take that, STAR WARS

#Monsterdon

Turtles are cold on the trail.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Star Wars sign! lol~!

#Monsterdon

Take that, Star Wars!

#Monsterdon

I remember my first orgasm. #Monsterdon

I guarantee you that whoever designed the aliens had a box turtle as a kid that they loved very, very much

#Monsterdon
#Laserblast

he sure looked more creepy and less stoned than zombie when he got into that van

#monsterdon

Shellless turtles finally arrived
#monsterdon

"...hey, is that the idiot's car?"
"dunno, maybe"
"should we check it out?"
"nah, I'm hungry, lets get some tacos"

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

I guess that chopper sniper never heard of the confirmed part of confirmed kill.

#monsterdon

How many classic cars were destroyed in this movie?

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

Billy doing the possessed green man could really use a little more guidance from the director.

…and we're back to orange car.

Honestly I'd have blown up the car myself at this point.

#monsterdon

I always wondered if they had Billy saying things when he was Greenface Laserguy and changed their minds and muted it later, or if he's just mouthing words for no reason

#Monsterdon

@paco I remember this scene from Falling Down

#Monsterdon

I miss the aliens. #Monsterdon

It happens sometimes. Froggys just explode. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

#monsterdon "Hey kids this is Petey the Plane always remember to never pick up cursed alien artifacts in the desert and then let them turn you into a feral green turd who shoots at light aircraft okay By...WHOA WAIT /explodes

(while typing) Imagine being the person who spends maybe a decade restoring a sweet '55(I think) and then you lend it to a production and you get it back rolled and exploded, and get to do all that work all over again.

Now there's one person with a crash helmet driving the burning car, and a stiff mannequin in the passenger seat.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

What the hell was the explanation for the plane? That whole sequence came out of nowhere. Yeesh. #monsterdon

Oh come on that laser blast wasn't even aimed at the car

#Monsterdon

Yeah Billy I had about enough of Greased Lightnin' too #Monsterdon

Slow-mo car fire scene would make a great album cover

#Monsterdon

Good thing those creeps put on their helmets

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👦 🔦 🚀 💥👽 🔦 🚀 💥👾 😱

The dude: "one minute they're in low desert, one minute they're in chapparal..." and it's 100% true

devilgirl.jpg: "Give the bum a ride he'll never forget"

#Monsterdon

Was really not expecting this 'Billy fighting a small plane' scene #Monsterdon

Okay. How did we progress to an air to surface fight?

#Monsterdon #Laserblast1978

#Monsterdon

He shot a pinball machine.
Even as an alien zombie, he's a douche.

@Bluedepth this movie makes me want to try Quaaludes. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon did they.... explode the plane off-screen to save on fx?