I think this soundtrack couldn't decide which decade it wanted to be in

#Monsterdon

Starring nobody and Eddie Deezen with a soundtrack by a Casio that fell over.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

@trixter May god have mercy on our souls

#Monsterdon

I always confuse Charles Band and Charles Dance.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Just give us the whole cast and crew for starters, yeah?

#Monsterdon

Jodie Cope'in with these credits

#monsterdon

Oh NO are we getting Eddie Deezen TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!?

#monsterdon #laserblast

Most of these names seem fake… Mike Bobenko?
#monsterdon

On no. The synth is deflating. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

This here is an Irwin Yablans joint.

Snalbay is Yablans spelt backwards, if you're wondering.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon
Hey Monsterdonians! I am participating from Savannah, GA tonight! Looking forward to a blast, but did not have time to prepare any trivia as usual.

Here we go! #laserblast #monsterdon

Irwin Yablans, makers of fine products!

#monsterdon

I feel I'll never be right again after this #monsterdon

#monsterdon after-care film. 🤣

@jadebees No no. Don't go trying to make this make sense. Down that path lies madness!
#monsterdon

@mwl yet another loose ends

#monsterdon #laserblast

@paco I think it's supposed to be one of his old shirts. If I trusted this movie to know what it was doing, I might think it's meant to suggest the Billy boy she fell in love with.

#monsterdon #laserblast

i’ve seen some people say #monsterdon can be just as fun without even watching the movie - can confirm

@SnoopJ I have yet to join in on #Monsterdon, but skimming my feed every Sunday night to see the screenshots and highlights is always a joyful experience

@paco I noticed that, too. Very strange.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

@old_angry_queer srsly, tho. At least Starcrash (also 1978) was clearly a blatant cash grab to get in on Star Wars mania, as opposed to whatever this was.

#monsterdon

@moira
Gah, nevermind. Character's name was Tony Craig.

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

@bunnyhero „A teenager finds a lost experimental military weapon in a river near his home […] The situation degenerates into a siege.“
Promising #monsterdon

Well, I have no complaints about my snacks and dipping sauces.

Now, for the post-movie cookies.

#monsterdon

@jsadow @bunnyhero Honestly, this was an epically bad retelling of Romeo and Juliet. #monsterdon

"I had the most marvelous time!"

This is canon for me: Franny found someone who liked eating cake as much as she did and had a sexual awakening.

They moved away and opened a queer B&B on the coast. Living happily ever after.

#monsterdon

also did anyone else see the 2018 movie KIN? also involving a kid finding an alien superweapon. odd film #monsterdon

@bunnyhero I think the sequel probably would have been a meditation on the tragedy of Billy and Kathy's love.

#Monsterdon

3/5 at the very least

#monsterdon

apparently there was going to be a sequel? according to wikipedia, they started a sequel, but due to reasons, it became a separate film using some of the same elements https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadly_Weapon

#monsterdon

I didn't see any coffee, but may have missed it. Anybody?

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

@rebeld @Taweret It is truly the best distraction

#Monsterdon

An excellent week for bingo though - and I'm sure I could have gotten a few more of them, I wasn't paying all that much attention after a while though

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

@kshernandez I also do it after REALLY bad ones, like this one was.

I think it's a palate cleanser to be told any story that is somewhat compelling and at least competently executed after enduring a stinker of a movie

#Monsterdon

@kshernandez I feel the odd need to watch a 'real' movie #monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow It takes time to heal #monsterdon

@Louisa AND... no one was eating the cake! #monsterdon

It's funny how the more psychic trauma a flick causes the longer the 'lobby chatter' goes on for. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

@paco INDEED :)

#Laserblast #Monsterdon

@apLundell Why was *she* even in this movie? #monsterdon

@kcarr2015 IMO that's what makes a good Nyah meme though: she's always saying something a bit sexual (since the whole point of that movie was to bring a man from Earth back to Mars to breed)

#Monsterdon

"Pleasing taste; some monsterism"

(without the pleasing taste)

#monsterdon

@Ayyyydrew That's why he's always carrying that brief case!

#monsterdon

@blogdiva happy birthday THING2!

#monsterdon #laserblast

@diazona
Sure... his "laser".

#Monsterdon

@diazona @log @mwl Best part? The only good part

#Monsterdon

@log @mwl aw but that was the best part

#Monsterdon

So... the aliens blew up the gun in the end, right? Cuz they just sorta zapped Billy and skedaddle. 🤔
#Monsterdon ##LaserBlast

@moira @mwl I have bad news then: https://mwl.io/ks

#monsterdon

@moira @overeducatedredneck @mwl Yeah. Fire the director, Fire the writer, Fire the cinematographer. Just fire everyone. #Monsterdon #Laserblast

@RobynGoodfellow @ramsey then it skips right to 4Blast4Furious

#Monsterdon

It was downhill from there but at least some cars were on fire. #Monsterdon

@ricci @SnoopJ The weapon they used on him in the end was no ordinary little laserblast, it was an alien beam firehose thingy which would have been cool to play with too I'm sure #monsterdon

@plantago In the 70s, blowing up pinball machines was a Capital Offense!

Now it's Teslas... #monsterdon

I do work a lot of Sunday nights, but I hope to be here as often as possible. Fare thee well, #Monsterdon

@overeducatedredneck @mwl No, no, the first thing this film needs is _fire_.

#monsterdon #laserblast

If you hated #Laserblast as much as everyone on #Monsterdon, apparently @mwl has fixed it, in book form. Stop motion turtliens not included.

Well, as my grandfather the 'Captain' would always say:

"The crappier the movie, the better the #monsterdon !"

#Monsterdon After a while the poop necklace started to show blinky bits. It looked like a pretty healthy doodle on a necklace. We’re gonna miss Poop Necklace Billy.

Gave it one and a half stars solely for the aliens, even though they caused all the kerfuffle by not cleaning up after themselves in the opening sequence https://letterboxd.com/anderson_petaq/film/laserblast/ #letterboxd #monsterdon

Goddamn aliens are bigger fuckups than the humans.

#monsterdon #laserblast

@log now THAT's a #monsterdon movie I wanna see!

@Louisa Someday in the afterlife, pondering time on earth...."But what I really wish I'd done, the only thing I truly missed out on....is watch the director's commentary of Laserblast...."

#Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow Setting us up for the sequel! Laserblast 2: Even Moar Blasts Than In the First One

#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Good music; now I'm even more convinced that it re-used for "Robot Holocaust".

#monsterdon

@strangefour Right!? they show up at the end, fire one shot and that's it... #monsterdon *hands outstretched for their checks*

@b WHERE?!

#monsterdon #laserblast

So dont mess with random lasers in the desert? Noted
#Monsterdon

Also, I'm still grappling with the Mommy/Son d/s relationship hinted to at the beginning of this thing. Seriously creepy.

#monsterdon

There was more plot than i was led to believe.

#monsterdon

So, suit man was just doing some merchandising of all his different styles?
#monsterdon

Thank you Mother Trucker
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

well... if you need a recovery from #monsterdon well, there's a 24/7 stream of Moomin that's been going on Youtube? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY64CAUEbdU

This really did make The Van look good.
And The Van was not good.

https://youtu.be/1gxDwYkCBbQ?feature=shared

#monsterdon

I really wonder about the intended plot, editing must have ruined something because clearly there was INTENT here

Probably not enough to watch the director's commentary though

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon well, that certainly was a movie.

I think.

What the fuck did I just watch?

Might be the ugliest movie we ever did. Music, acting, Billy, editing. Phew. #monsterdon

Whew! I'm so glad that's over... dammit! #monsterdon

I just realised that he's going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Corporation.

#monsterdon

Huh, no ocean, I'm disappointed. That said, this was less horrible than it was... vapid, I guess. I can see where it would be dissapointing if you were in any way expecting more though.

Thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting! See ya next week. :)

#monsterdon

Atleast Billy's gaping chest wound cleared up in death.
Teh End.
Man these credits are weirdly long and slow for a cheap 70s movie.
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

Early X-Files guy zooms in. But pew pew, the alien clean-up crew arrived. Did someone pick up the equipment? #Monsterdon

Roll credits, that's how I know it ended.

G'nite #Monsterdon! Can we vote for not the worst possible movie next time please? Please?

Oh okay so the mystery science theater tribute to the ending of 2001 a space Odyssey and this being the worst movie ever made is a nice way to wrap this whole mess up.

#monsterdon #Laserblast #mst3k

#monsterdon So, is this like a Frankenstein thing where we're supposed to feel sorry for the monster?

Because I do not.

And the cops were in on it the whole time!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Oh Billy, I'm so sad you're dead. You were so taciturn and unlikable!"

Well they spend a last time on that final still, but maybe it's possible it's Kathy's chance to meditate on the bad choices she's prone to be making. Let's hope #monsterdon

BUT WHAT ABOUT ACAPULCO!??

#monsterdon

I gotta think that Peggy Schinofen was pretty busy in this film. Perhaps even the MVP. Because there was a LOT of boom.
#monsterdon

@MargaretSefton Hooray! You "picked" a doozy to get started with

#Monsterdon

'Goddamn you, you laserblastin’ son-of-a-bitch! There was only nine Democrats in the whole county and you just ’sploded eight of them!'

#monsterdon

ok. that's over. #monsterdon

Laserblast made me so angry, I had to write my own take. I have fifty-odd books out. I should know better. But noooo, I had to write an alien blaster that turns you green novel with actual story.

I'm gonna throw one "back my kickstarter" plea out there for #Laserblasted. If nothing else, watch the video. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mwlucas/mwls-next-1-april-book

I promise story, character, an ending, and lots and lots of griping about the 80s.

Mahnola Dargis said this movie was better than Anora and The Brutalist combined.

#Monsterdon

Oh the laserblaster disappears of Billy's arm between cuts. I guess that gun fires gun disintigrator rays???
#Monsterdon #Laserblast

As much as we always give #Monsterdon movies a hard time for lack of denouement, I have to imagine that if this movie had one it could only have made things worse

Well... that was a blast. A laser blast. This is the movie they show to other movies in movie prison, as punishment. #monsterdon #laserblast

Oh, so they returned to finish the job and just fucked off then, did they? Typical.

Thanks for a ... bad movie. That was fun. :)
#Monsterdon #LaserBlast

I'm beginning to think this movie's not very good. He's just wrecking a shitty neighborhood now. How does that advance the cursed amulet's agenda‽

HE SHOT A MAILBOX! That's a Federal offense, knockoff Luke.

#monsterdon #laserblast