y'know, these ragdoll physics are pretty good for a game from the 80s

#monsterdon #Krull

Half-Laser Blaster/Half Electric Sword counts as goofy weapon for bingo

#monsterdon
#Krull

mm, knocked to the floor like a True Hero. #monsterdon

Welp, hero's dead, movie over, thanks for coming y'all

#Monsterdon

What the hell are red lightning swords?

#Monsterdon #Krull

Oh no! The Slayers are here!
#Monsterdon #Krull

Someone watched far too many Errol Flynn films prepping for this scene.

#monsterdon

That was the perfect opportunity for a Wilhelm scream.

#Monsterdon #Krull

@blogdiva
The pilot, I think.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon finally! Someone thinks to use a basic sheet to get advantage. This is finally a smart bit of melee celluloid. My respect is cheap.

lol what is this music?

#monsterdon

@moira Just Jedi things

#Monsterdon

This is a super lame version of the battle of Helm's Deep.

#Monsterdon

It's like guys showing up at the ren-fest in Storm trooper gear. #Monsterdon #Krull

so why is his sword all lasery and nobody else's?

#monsterdon #Krull

80s b movie practical effects, my beloved

#monsterdon

@gnomon
It's 80s high fantasy sci-fi hero's King Arthur journey! Find the magic weapon, fulfill the phophecy, defeat the galactic tyrant!

#Monsterdon #Krull

So the alien invaders have space travel, plasma weapons, but not repeating rifles?

#monsterdon #krull

batman did the wall climbing better

#monsterdon #Krull

So the flying castle dudes have lasers? #Monsterdon

love those laser noises!

#Monsterdon

@jsadow I'm an Old #monsterdon

Go head girl, leave your dad to die! #monsterdon

I see gates made from cybertruck panels hold up about as well as cybertrucks

#monsterdon #Krull

He's going to brand here with his initials.

#monsterdon

stunning fire effects! she holds the fire in her hand! magic!

#monsterdon

It was given to me to know
that this movie drives me to DRINK fire water.
#monsterdon

I keep waiting for Conan to show up.

#monsterdon

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this fire?"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon this is a nice marriage ceremony

and now to burn the ceremonial faramir

#monsterdon

@Zerofactorial Not Buffy and Faith?

#Monsterdon

Her: Your journey was hard?

His smirk: Not as hard as... Well you'll see.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon the LNG budget was unlimited.

Is this a wedding or a medieval fashion show? Look at those sleeves! #monsterdon

the score is telling me something incredible and heroic is happening but the screen is just showing me an old man standing perfectly still in a bog #monsterdon

I'm going to be hearing music like this in my head everywhere I go and during everything I do from now on. #Monsterdon #krull

"Stop with the clanking, it's very annoying!"

#Monsterdon

I heard a bit of "we have Mars The Bringer of War at home"

#Monsterdon

Cool castle.
#Monsterdon #Krull

And how much experience does her father have with bad husbands, exactly? #monsterdon

Wait. Is this a kissing movie?

#Monsterdon

They have good chemistry, I'll believe any dumb love story if the actors have good chemistry

#Monsterdon

"Being king sucks, let's make our kids do it."

#monsterdon

holy hell this movie is 2 hours long someone needs to start the steal to hack the elections and make sure this doesn't happen again #monsterdon

Space Middle Earth Neuschwanstein is a very isolated castle

#Monsterdon

how...romantic, I guess

I hope the Slayers show up soon

#Monsterdon

So, we're watching legally-distinct, totally-not-Spelljammer the Movie, tonight for #Monsterdon ?

I can work with this.

#Monsterdon <is this a pigeon meme> is this romance?

"I've chosen well."

"I've chosen weller."

"Peter Weller?"

"Yes."

#Monsterdon

(But not as hard as I am.)

#ImTwelve
#Monsterdon #KRULL

Those two knew each other before, right
#monsterdon

Is Eddington wearing armored DENIM?

#monsterdon #krull

"I've chosen well."

"I've chosen weller."

"I've chosen wellest!"

#Monsterdon

Hrm, implied mass fight scene.

#monsterdon #krull

Colwyn's marring Merida. #Monsterdon #Krull

"So was my, uh

#monsterdon #Krull

It was given to me to know
that MC's strategic thinking is kinda lacking. #monsterdon

@catzilla oooh so it is! Yeah I knew this soundtrack sounded too good for your typical #Monsterdon

I don't really like star wars so this space knights shit is doing the opposite of hitting for me #monsterdon

#Monsterdon how does he know, does he have a figure husband. And since we now wonder, King, do you like oysters or clams? Ah… you just chew horseradish. Mmmm.

NOT filmed in the UK

#monsterdon

The lead horse is like "get the hell off of me" #monsterdon

@starkraving666 Am 100% getting Python vibes from this entire movie already

#Monsterdon #Krull

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

Many Monsterdonians have lamented the lack of
QUICKSAND
per expectations gained in their youth. Tonight should bring some measure of satisfaction.

A huge quicksand-filled swamp was created in the massive Pinewood Studios 007 studio.

Man, there's not enough trans people messing up prophecies of saviorism.

#monsterdon #krull

so we're switching things up by having the girl be in favor of the arranged marriage. take that, uh, second wave feminists, i guess, since this is 1983... #monsterdon

I guess the alien planet setting is just an excuse for medieval fantasty mixed with space orcs.

I can get behind that.

#Monsterdon

look ok you don't have to be aerodynamic in space but that doesn't mean you should make your spaceship look like a big shitty rock #monsterdon

"...the smoke of burning villages would darken the sky..."
"are there really that many villages here?"
"what do you mean?"
"well, it would take a lot of burning villages to actually darken the sky. I just don't think we have that many."
"maybe it was a metaphor?"
"for what?"
"no idea"

#Monsterdon #Krull

roaming hoards of slayers

no vampires will be safe

#monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon we spotted Teela.

It's nice to know that other planets also invented perms

#Monsterdon #Krull

#Monsterdon I do not miss vibrato in narrator voices. Ugh

Spaceballs did it better.
#Monsterdon

We'll have to go over 3000 in the tootstorm tonight

#monsterdon

Are those clowns on horseback? #monsterdon

#Monsterdon The Beast and the Slayers sound like a hella band.

jesus, that was FOUR MINUTES

#Monsterdon

Right, a super high tech rock in space... and they don't even have flashlights. Torches for some, spears for everyone else.

#monsterdon

The Dark Crystal wants it's intro back.

#monsterdon #krull

That escalated quickly

#Monsterdon

Once a ship, now a castle. In the future, hotel and spa!
#monsterdon

It's so yummy and chocolatey

#monsterdon

@Lazarou

SPF 100 minimum

#monsterdon

IT’S JAMES HORNER - I’m so proud of my old sci fi soundtrack recognition abilities!! i knew it!!! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon "James Horner, I should've known I'd find you holding the soundtrack's leash. I recognized your flourishes when I came on board."

#Monsterdon Here for #Krull!

(...and young #Eddington from #StarTrekDS9)

Third toot about how much I'm enjoying this soundtrack. #monsterdon

The first scene is in 20 minutes. #monsterdon

OMG! Liam Neeson is in this!? #monsterdon

I guess the question is really "how did tubi survive for so long without using DRM" #monsterdon

#monsterdon I keep thinking about crystalline entities

Horner’s gonna horn

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon The Igneous Cruiser

Music! #monsterdon

Space, the final frontier. These are the adventures of a piece of petrified wood #monsterdon

This sounds very James Horner #monsterdon

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SOUND. THE JAMES HORNER WILL CONTINUE UNTIL THE CRYING STOPS.

#monsterdon #krull

@jammerb
Just sit right back and you'll see a fail,
a fail of a fateful film.
It started on this mastodon,
aboard this tiny screen.

The folks were a mighty watching band
The leader brave and sure
They all pressed play at 9 o'clock
for a two-hour tour, a two-hour tour

#monsterdon