i need the sequel where all the Olsens have to work together to get Olsen Prime back to his home timeline, but they all try to betray each other and claim that they are Olsen Prime, so none of them succeed. they can even all nuke themselves in a cave, that can still happen. #monsterdon
Some Memorable Topics (missed about 1/4 of them)...
Muttonchops | Hans and the Sheep | Wrong water carrier | Shut up nerd! | Chekov's Gun Shop | Magic Mud Cleaning | Glauben and Uncle Otto | Inexplicable weather | TeamSheep | Journey to the Center of the Stock Footage | Reappearing gas masks | Dinosaurs in some kind of queue | Esperanto speaker | Loads of lava to denouement | Checked trousers
#monsterdon
This I would describe as the plot-free version of Verne.
Everyone being confidently wrong all the time is something, I suppose.
But the monster effects were surprisingly good, I have to admit that.
@Louisa Don't forget the explosively triggered water elevator π€―
@ranjit also the mysterons
i don't understand anything that is happening hahah
TIL: Β»The expression βΊProof Of The PuddingβΉ is an alteration of an older saying that makes the meaning a bit clearer: the proof of the pudding is in the eating. In other words, things must be judged by trying them yourself or seeing them in action, rather than on other factors, such as hearsay.Β«
thank you #Monsterdon !
Ok, so nobody died.
Hans got his sheep.
The lovebirds got married.
The professor has Olsen's Wonderful Box, given to him by one of Olsen's variants. We learn that Olsen gave the professor the book that started all this, too.
This was shot some in Spain, right? And by an American film company? I wonder if they just got people's names wrong and didn't care.
This guy's surname is CORNEJO? Not Conejo?
And "Mateos"? Was it more than one Mateo? And they just couldn't bother getting both names?
Or maybe it's just unusual names because it's the entertainment industry. #monsterdon
And the clones? What news of the clones?
#monsterdon wat? WAT? WAAAAAAAT??
Well we got to see Hans as a happy new sheepionaire, so I guess I have to give this movie 5 stars
sooooo nothing much really happened, did it? I mean, other than meeting a few monster friends. That part was good.
so, Olsen left the book there so that Otto et al would head down there, so that they'd all meet, and then... so Olsen could blow himself up??? i... what??? #monsterdon
wow that's some phenominally bad age makeup
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
OOOOhkay. That was a film.
@ottaross cliffhanger for a sequel naturally #monsterdon
AWW BABY SHEEP! Hans has never been so at peace. His life has purpose once again.
#Monsterdon #WhenTimeBegan
LOL, cousin fuckers?
hans is sheep rustling in broad daylight #monsterdon
lol @ the little model raft
since there was no conflict or any content to the plot, and there wasn't any character development or reason to care about olsen, there really isn't a lot to resolve here, but we still have 9 minutes for them to continue to do nothing until nothing happens #monsterdon
#Monsterdon anyway, as we're leaving, some dinosaurs chase us and we go back to the raft, which no longer has a sail. It is a mystery how this boat gets anywhere.
#monsterdon Olson is sus
#Monsterdon having read my last post, Bellhop Twink has an attack of common sense and realizes that they should get out of here. Also, he proposes to Rock Lady, and I guess she is into him too. But then a Giant Gorilla is like "I object to this marriage!" and yells at them, so they hide in one of the dead tree trunks that is the only other large vegetation in this movie. We then hide in a small cave that is within the larger cave world that we are already in.
you literally can't row across the ocean #monsterdon
that grotto is more than 10 inches dilated
This is the face he made when he saw them kissing. This is so creepy. It's totally "hey babe..." #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Also, no one in this movie seems to have any sense of what a giant discovery it would already be. Just finding a great big cave with a poisonous soup in it is a major discovery; y'all have found an underground sea that is perpetually lit and full of giant reptiles and everyone is like "huh, okay. but we should find more stuff first."
"A prehistoric boneyard is no fit place to bring up babies"
Just in absolute awe of the writing in this move
"Aaaaand, cue the gorilla!"
"The what!?"
there was a scene in the Minions movie with a scientist that created clones of himself at the MinionCon
MONKEH
@gnomon many Hans make light work #monsterdon
Itβs difficult to imagine a troop less prepared to succeed in a scientific/exploratory expedition #monsterdon
Propose to her in the bone yard. Romantic.
#monsterdon Will somebody PLEASE give Hans a hand with the manual labour for just one scene, seeing him haul up all the logs of the raft that he also built on his own is not endearing me to Otto.
We entered in Iceland... we're under the British Isles... we're under the Mediterranean Sea
This fuckin guy, does he think they're traveling thousands of miles every day
hang on. we sailed the distance from the british isles to the Mediterranean on a raft?
#Monsterdon After floating around a little bit, we find an island that we decide to check for fossils. Fossils are cool and all, but they seem like a strange thing to check for once you've already discovered an underground sea perpetually lit by a magical sky, giant mushrooms and giant reptiles.
Anyway, we see some things we think are giant turtle fossils but they are real turtles and they are mad so we NOPE off the island. Then a storm happens and some fireballs fly at us from the sky.
Uh what the fuck was that? Some sort of plasma weapon? I donβt understand whatβs happening. #Monsterdon
Oh no. Do the turtles have lasers?
LOL @ Wizard bolts!
I bet they filmed this storm bit in that giant water tank they have at Pinewood Studios
@lytta that woman at the beginning that said they can skip packing the umbrella has fucked them all #monsterdon
the saild is catching fire in the middle of a storm. that totally makes sense.
Amazing, fossil turtles. They died out millions of years ago. They're definitely not still alive, like the dinosaurs we just saw that supposedly died out millions of years ago
Puppet fight!
Puppet blood...
#Monsterdon #WhenTimeBegan
25 minutes remaining to develop an actual plot aside from "idk just boat around for awhile" #monsterdon
A yes, the loud chirping noise everyone associates with tortoises.
Come on Gamera...
#Monsterdon Our raft starts sinking for no reason, probably due to a design flaw that can be forgiven because no on the trip is a shipwright. Then a giant reptile thing shows up and start threatening Rock Lady, who is out for a swim.
Fortunately another almost identical giant reptile thing shows up to pick a fight with the first one, and a strangely bloody battle begins.
Our adventurers bravely try to float away on their very slow raft, which stops sinking just as mysteriously as it started.
@WhiskeySailor @blue Literally underground auroras
"Just look at them. Two mythical puppets from the beginning of time, slapping into each other like fools" #monsterdon #JourneyToTheCenterOfTheEarth
Itβs the shrieking eels! #monsterdon
uuuurggghhhh 'hairy old man' back
Shoutout to the prop guys for building dozen of giant mushrooms, I bet that was a blast :D #Monsterdon
@Lazarou I think we need a version of https://xkcd.com/2233/ that also accounts for depth
You've been unconscious for nearly two days, but it's okay, we just dragged you along with us, like the dead weight that you are
#monsterdon Olsen is weird but kinda hot.
creepy panty raid
Go swimming with a head wound it'll be fine #monsterdon
This is the face of someone who's been in the caves for "two months"? #monsterdon
#Monsterdon No Hans don't give the Professor the pick he has been wrong the whole time you give him that pick he will kill us all by mistake.
lol, that guy with all the receipts, belittling the Professor like a king
well, i mean, the echos WILL be gone now that he's brought down half the cave. (-_-) #monsterdon
Causing a cave collapse. Common geologist blunder. #Monsterdon
Ah yes, sudden quicksand, the bane of every movie protagonist of the era, and totally a thing that happens inside caves
#Monsterdon Professor Muttonchops: "We have no water and no guidebook and no plan! But.. there might be science inside this poison death cave! Let's take a vote! Remember, if you vote to go back it means you're a coward!"
Rock Lady: "I'll vote yes, because science I guess."
Bellhop Twink: "I vote yes, because IMPERIAL PRUSSIA!"
Cave quicksand like my grampa used to tell me about. #Monsterdon
One of the characters is constantly referencing sheep β seems to follow on that Tucker Carlson vibe. #Monsterdon
βBefore us lies millions of years of unrecorded history.β And why is that, pray tell? #monsterdon #JourneyToTheCentreOfTheEarth
#Monsterdon oh crap we found the portal to the wind dimension inside this cave. Also, the wind is poison, but fortunately we brought gas masks, which I didn't know were even a thing in 1898.
Anyway, we walk on the narrow ledge by the poison soup sea as the wind buffets us, and then a tiny Godzilla pops up to see if we look like food or not. So far, no one is dead but we don't have any water.
#Monsterdon Gonna add βforward means sheep. backwards means nothing.β to my list of mottos.
to our deaths then!
Hans has an unhealthy sheep fixation
I SPY a monster!
lol, oh dear, is that the level of 'monster' we're going to get here?
@blogdiva with three men and only one woman and everyone is white, I would say the first death would likely be the professor, since he's the oldest. But it could also be the new guy -- actually since we just saw some rogue fifth person?? it'll definitely be the new guy, they don't need him for conflict #monsterdon
se jodieron. they los their water and now they have a guy sneaking in the shadows.
Why, they must be 10s of feet down below the earth's crust
#monsterdon
They keep putting Hans out in front to absorb the first hail of bullets! Hans is just here for his sheep! Justice for Hans! #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon this movie has an appropriate amount of ladder climbing for a movie about descending into the bowels of the earth.
@blogdiva he has narrator plot armor tho
Impressive exteriors in this #Monsterdon - I was expecting bad matte paintings.
this looks like a cavern Rodan might be hiding out in #monsterdon
their plan is to walk the 6,000km to the center of the earth, or fall? they don't have parachutes. what do they think is in the middle part between the surface and the core? #monsterdon
"See those white vapors?"
...I see some GREEN vapors, chief. #Monsterdon
is Hans Ricardo MoltalbΓ‘n? cuz that would be hilarious
One sheep a week. Wow. #Monsterdon
Now what shall we buy at the Chekov's Gun Store? #monsterdon
[Christopher Cross starts playing at an ear splitting volume]
They forgot the tickets? THEY FORGOT THE *MONEY*???
Dipshits. #Monsterdon
Looking forward to the girl popping out of a trunk like the kid in Speed Racer. #monsterdon
βAll these letters are backwards, it looks like Russian. No other possible explanation.β #monsterdon #TheFabulousJourneyToTheCentreOfTheEarth
"I forbid you to go!"
Too bad she didn't ask your opinion, dipshit. Go carry some bags. #Monsterdon
OMG. The react shocked like they've never seen mirrored writing before? This scene is the Victorian technobabble version of cyber hacker breaking the 7th crypto firewall of the super secret NSA lab. #monsterdon