Put the brooch pin back please, Hercules.
(These creaking metal sound effects are really doing a great job of covering up for the sense of scale that is robbed a little bit by the absence of motion blur from the movement of the bronze Talos statue.)
And this scene definitely looks to have inspired the metal laser giant on the amazon beach in Starcrash!
π¦#MONSTERDON ποΈ
βοΈ TRIVIA AND THE ARGOS β΅π
Context is Key
Two years prior to tonight's feature, Sergio Leone's The Colossus of Rhodes was released. It famously featured the large statue of Talus.
π€― So it was wild for audiences to see a couple of years later Talos changed into a living bronze giant. It would become one of Ray Harryhausen's most famous creations.
"Wait, were we supposed to take stuff? Or NOT take stuff? Geez these details are really hard to remember"
boat knowers of #monsterdon, is that sail what you'd be needing to go to the edge of the earth #monsterdon
Hera closes her eyes at this lacklustre drum playing
Hylas will be their Science Officer....
Jason and the Argonauts sounds like a band made up of Jason and all the other guys who failed auditions to join the Argo's crew
Five shall be the number of the helping. And the number of the helping shall be five. Four shalt thou not help, neither help thou four, excepting that thoust then proceed to five. SIX IS RIGHT OUT.
#monsterdon
"5 times, Mrs. Bueller"
In the kingdom of the no-sandaled, the one-sandalled man is king
"Why was I not told the whole prophecy"
Gods are fucking with you, it's what they do. They're bored...
Red capes seem like bad planning, like how do you tell who has an arterial bleed and who just got their cape wet
Who wants to smoke a bowl with me
104 minutes? #monsterdon
GOGOGOGOGOGOGO
@apLundell skeletons! are always immortal! they are the shape of the body animated by something that is localized to their being but must be outside of it! because unlike other undead, it is plain to see that there is nothing that could serve as the source of their animacy within them. they are a body without a body! #monsterdon
@MichaelKlamerus You can copy and paste this comment to about 98% of Monsterdon movies
And that's a wreck! Jason and the Argonauts fuck off into the sea with the golden fleece they stole, and with several fewer crewmates who were murdered by skeletons! Jason and Medea make out! The gods chuckle indulgently! THE END
Thank you for hosting, @Taweret , and thank you to the whole #monsterdon crew for a delightful Sunday evening and a fine return to form. Good choice, and good night!
SKELETONS, SKELETONS, SKELE... *is hooked off stage*
"Just as King KOng got me interested in music, in trying to trace Max Steiner's score... I became interested in Wagner and the classics, and the picture opened up an entire world to me. So I am so pleased that our pictures opened up a whole new world for them."
Like Ray I hope #monsterdon opened up a whole new world for you - great (!) films and even better company.
Big thanks to @Taweret for organizing our group watches! Also special thanks to @cherizilla for the bingo, @JoeWynne for the trivia, and each and every one of you for the fantastic time we shared together!
β₯οΈ see you next week!
...Wait, that's it? #Monsterdon
Quick, check the guidebook. Can skeletons swim?
πππππππππππ
And the Oscar goes to⦠Ray Harryhausen!
"Destroy them! Kill! Kill! Kill them all!"
Right, OK, so more of a nec-rofighter, less of a nec-romancer
you know what fuck it, 5 minutes left, skeletons. let's go. #monsterdon
@moira @SnoopJ the fleece has some utility value as a healing item, so one could characterize the economy of this kingdom as being based on hyperspeculation on healthcare technology #monsterdon
My sister had shag carpet like that fleece when we were kids #monsterdon
Hecate is more interested in cleaning up a dead hydra before it stinks up the place than in listening to you
"Wait!"
I'm Greek Abraham Lincoln, I can't go onto a balcony! #Monsterdon
use the pointy end
Why is it so hard to hit the hydra, it's RIGHT THERE #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963 it *was* the *bronze* age
The argonauts are mad at Jason for not immediately wanting to attack the city they are visiting (he thinks that would be mean and also dumb), but I immediately wanting to do a shore piracy is very on brand for most mythological Greek heroes.
Anyway, one guy is extra mad we can't do a shore piracy and so we have a swordfight until Jason knocks him off the boat, then we get a swimming scene and then that guy dies.
This scene has me expecting Shatner to burst in, ripping his own shirt #Monsterdon
"I go another way."
It's ancient Greece, doesn't everyone? #Monsterdon
when swords arenβt enough, a good bitch-slapping will do
movies without a Naired manβs chest are a delight
what the hell man i literally just deployed my giant fish man to save your ass and how you're throwing your little guy obelisk necklace overboard and suggesting as king you will promote a secular society less reliant on the gods? #monsterdon
"In time all men will learn to live without them (gods)"
The lack of a sea god popping out of the water to prove doubters wrong....
*rockslides sink the other boat in the narrow channel*
Boats: 0
Rocks: 1
*very Guy Fieri voice for some reason* you just got ROCKED
(I'm enjoying this movie a bunch more than Clash of the Titans (1981) that we watched on 2025-06-29 last year, I have to admit.)
Chips ahoy!
Yeah you want separate cages for your harpies otherwise they just end up eating each other. How do they not know that? #Monsterdon
homies have had the concept of fashion and not wearing only diapers this whole time they just choose to diaper up and get a full body sunburn for fun #monsterdon
No harpies were harmed in the making of this film.
@jonny we might charitably interpret the film's use of "sin" to mean defiance of the gods, but this is excessively charitable. just bad writing
Cats would look at that table push and call it excessive
Oh, hey, it's my self-insert OC's
"You're on thin ice Jason, don't fuck me over again or I will cut you" - Hera
I never thought I'd see less self-preservation than in Prometheus
"My goo, my precious hot goo....ohhhh what a world....."
I... Was... Just... Learning... To love...
Not my giant ankle plug! My one weakness! #monsterdon
Use a quarter
This week's #Monsterdon is unexpectedly high brow in a low brow way. I mean way to learn your Greek mythology on a Sunday night!
I just watched Harryhausenβs 1977 film Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. The compositing is AMAZING in that one.
"I wonder why that giant stone monster came to life and tried to kill us all. Did anyone take anything besides food and water? Hercules?" #monsterdon
Hey, remember JUST being told not to take anything. Are you 5 years old? #monsterdon
Hercules smol
Reminder: Hephaestus canonically regularly made objects so fine as to be self-moving
That statue is going to move, isn't it?
It's going to turn out that Hercules lost his car keys in the sandy beach scene.
that Hera head has strong body horror and βVirgin Mary in that movie about the Lourdes miracleβ vibes and itβs the thing of nightmares.
"We had sails all along? But the rowing? Why?"
Bro you're burning through Hera Help points like it's going out of style. #monsterdon
HELP_COUNTER -= 1
what in the fuck is that. do not leave that animatronic snake babe on my ship #monsterdon
See, this level of pettiness is a much more proper depiction of Zeus. This movie gets what Zeus is all about
BTW i find it fascinating that the greeks considered curliness (of the hair) with godliness
*Hermes is a day late and throws the parcel into next doors garden
"Hey Zeus, sup. I brought you a lil man"
EMBIGGENING!
OMG that guy with the big white eyebrows looks like Michael Palin in greek drag
Why don't they People elect a leader instead of wait for a 'king' to save them?
*starts to analyse with Marxism
"Do you like my sexy dancing girls? I take them where ever I go..."
She was a ghost the whole time!
Weβre slaughtering children. Are *we* the baddies?!
lets fucking go..
#Monsterdon
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
5...4...3...2...1.. and we have GO!
"That's the one I picked :) "
#Monsterdon #TheBeastFrom20000Fathoms
An arctic dinosaur? What like some kind of wooly tyrannosaurus?
#Monsterdon #BeastFrom20000Fathoms
Big thanks to @Taweret for tonight's Harryhausen classic; the skeleton fight still sets the blood to racing.
No smoking (duh), no coffee (duh).
Heavy on the sausage fest. Maybe fewer bald old man titties (I can look in a mirror for that). Poseidon's hairless armpits, up close and personal.
The finest knitted hats/helmets.
Exotic healing flower.
Bronze guardian golem. Wimpy hydra guardian. Screechy harpies. Coordinated skeleton fighters.
And a golden fleece in a dead tree (thought it healed everything).
And, that was only half the story!
The movie had a large number of anachronisms in it, but I think we were supposed to view it as sort of an out-of-time version of Ancient Greece - like the Ancient Greece that appears in renaissance paintings, or on Xena: Warrior Princess so it seems fine.
@apLundell Theyβre usually some of the first monsters you face at level 1 in D&D, so judging by that, Jason and his crew have only just begun their adventure.
the 6 words she really wants to hear
Another wonderful entry in the Saga of Shirtless Men! Thanks again to @Taweret for keeping the stage grease filled and to the #Monsterdon crew for collecting my teeth.
......
............
....................(dies)
I mean, am I really supposed to root for, Jason, the guy trying to steal another people's sacred relic?
@CactuarJoe 100% hydra and harpie score, weighted by screen time #monsterdon
After defeating the skeleton army we get in the rowboat and sail away. Because we used up all of our special effects money the movie has to end now, even though we haven't resolved the prophecy so we get another scene were Zeus and Hera are watching Jason and Medea kiss and they're like "hmmm well thats enough of our Mortals: the Board Game for now, let's finish it later!" and then they turn off their fountain TV and the movie ends.
There will be part 2 (probably not)
Thanks #Monsterdon folks and @Taweret for hosting!
If I stab them, do they not bleed? Oh wait. #monsterdon
"Knocking 'em down is easy. It's getting them to stay down that's the problem."
#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts
How did I not ever notice that cheerleaders are wearing Ancient Greek Fighting Skirts
WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOUR SWORD *DOWN* #Monsterdon
@LuluHelle [screaming in Skeleton]
#monsterdon what we've been waiting for!
The children of the hydras teeth.
Skelongtons!
You can't kick these things in the bollocks or any of those tricks