Tragedy - comedy = ?Time? #invasionofthestarcreatures #monsterdon

Okay, so we find the cave, and the normal soldiers go inside, but the fuckups we've been following for the whole movie stay outside; their job was to carry the comically rectangular brackets with them, which I guess contained a picnic blanket and a turkey, which they eat.

Inside, we learn the guy with student loans is a geologist, and we run into a circle being excited by caves. Then we find a radioactive scarecrow from space, an excellent find.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

The set decoration of this cave! It's just a bunch of canvas tarps draped over a sound stage! Magnificent

#monsterdon

Take a drink every time a “joke” fails #monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Please send these guys to Vietnam.

#monsterdon

This has a proto-monty-python feel to it. LIke the Monty Python guys took the approach and added actual comedy to it for the win.

#monsterdon

"What's wrong with killing a snake"

HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE, PAL, IT'S A SURPRISINGLY LONG LIST

#Monsterdon

Everybody feels shame in this picture. No wage is worth this.

#monsterdon

We're like 9 minutes in and not one bullet bra.

#monsterdon

Oh god, this is bad in a whole other way #monsterdon terdon (wtf autocorrect)

Okay so the intro movie to this #monsterdon is a 1960s windows screensaver with words. I do enjoy the scifi videos with the stars going by, just because its classy I guess. We then cut to an army missile base where a narrator guy gloats about all the hydrogen bombs we have. We then get some bumbling soldiers who are having a water hose fight.

After both of them lose, they have a conversation to convince us that they are Dullards and also Clowns. #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

The mute button is extremely tempting right now. #monsterdon

#monsterdon People don't behave that way, Howdy Doody time? He's not dizzy, he's just a schmuck.

*bracing to find out what all the content warnings are gonna turn out to be about*

#Monsterdon

If you're reading this, you're at the tail end of a long stream of posts on the feed about #Monsterdon, a fediverse community movie-watching event. This week we watched INVASION OF THE STAR CREATURES (1962). See the post at the top of this thread for more info:

https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/111004128276431553

well, that #monsterdon movie sure was ...somethin! lol

@kopio You should probably know that this movie falls far short of the expectations we had based on the title, and in fact is probably the worst thing we've ever seen for #Monsterdon (not in an entertaining way)

I would like to apologize for voting for #invasionofthestarcreatures on #monsterdon not knowing anything about the movie and not even watching it.

@kopio Just read the posts. Skip the movie. #Monsterdon

@floatybirb @Lazarou They thought about it, but then they tried nothing, and they were fresh out of ideas.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon oh how I miss you alien curtain vixen!

@Bluedepth So far, I think the Wicker Man has been my favorite movie of all the #Monsterdon movies.

Today's Life Lesson from #monsterdon

VOTE in EVERY Election!

I honestly think even Joe Bob Briggs would have passed on that one, but I’m not googling to find out. #monsterdon

AND NOTHING OF VALUE WAS LOST

#monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

um.
wow.
That was, how do say... fucking terrible?
By ever metric, the worst movie I've seen on #monsterdon, or possibly ever.
Worst script, acting, props, set design, vfx, sfx, incidental music, direction, camera work.
They managed to take the one good idea in the movie, giant dom space Amazons, and ruin it. Hell, if they just had 75 minutes of beatnik army sergeant that would been better.
dah well. Thx for watching y'all! thx @Taweret for hosting! have a great week, stay safe, c u next Sunday!

Watching this movie is like eating peppers which are way too hot for any human to consume. Unpleasant and pointless as it was, it will still be possible to impress others with your having done it #monsterdon

I bet if all of our army men were literal looney tunes characters and this was drastically shorter (say 15-30 minutes running time with none of the cursed indian parts), it would be a genuinely funny movie?

#monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

ugh

yeah that made Werewolf of Washington look like idk some good movie

I don't know

I don't know anymore

#monsterdon

@miriamrobern Smart lady took one look at all that and RAN

#monsterdon

@Victorsigmoid I wish that were an implausible scenario #monsterdon

@jsadow TBH probably one that I'm too bored with to even finish. There have been a few of those, but the paradox of those #monsterdon movies is I never pay attention long enough to rate them.

Well that was objectively a movie, I think. I spent the start of it wrapping up a podcast and a chunk of the middle reframing my MST3K: The Movie poster, which I'm gonna go hang on the wall now. G'night #monsterdon!

I'm watching Mission Stardust on Tubi as a palate cleanser, it looks promising

#monsterdon

The phrase "painfully unfunny" was invented by this film. This film was like watching your dad try to explain Skibidi Toilet to his boss. This film was like a school assembly where the vice principle is trying out his ventriloquism act before taking it on the road. This film was like watching someone try to write a romance novel, but they'd only ever seen Mork and Mindy before.

It was *bad.* #Monsterdon

This movie reminded me of the @flophousepodcast scale for reviewing films. They have separate categories for "good bad movie" and "bad bad movie." This one firmly belongs in the latter. #monsterdon

What if, hear me out on this, we made a sequel of this movie, set in 2026, a self-absorbed billionaire takes over the US Space Force and redirects the GDP to finally realize his dream of sending people to Mars, but is stymied in his evil plans by two hapless soldiers and a drunken ex-AM Talk Radio star who blow up his rocket while trying to smuggle bootleg alcohol to the colony which does not yet exist.

#Monsterdon
#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

#Monsterdon "it's The end"

OH THANK GOD

good night everyone

this was definitely a movie that we watched

let it never again cross our screens

Full circle, I was having fun with this ridiculous movie until the incredibly insensitive scenes with the Native Americans. Then it fell right onto the scrap heap of “#monsterdon movies we should never have voted for”. 😞

Ok, this movie was proof that the voters horny for women shouldn't get to vote anymore

#Monsterdon

Perfect example of mediocre white guys failing upwards. Medal of Honor for awkwardly kissing women who are far superior to them in every way.

#monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures, from 1962, was full of attempts at interstellar hijinks, boinks, zoinks, and bazoongas! All those attempts failed, miserably, but we also had,

I want a giant electric woman from space.

#monsterdon

I thought the racist tree stump movie was bad but christ

#monsterdon

we enter the epilogue with Bridge over River Kwai whistling and with some stock footage of a proper formation?

so very much of its time

#Monsterdon

Ewwwwwww

They're kissing men way, way beneath them....in many ways.

Earthmen are the true monsters of this galactic supercluster

#monsterdon

Y'know, I was *so sure* Bee Girls was gonna be EASILY the worst movie of the year. I was *certain* it was gonna be an open and shut case. #Monsterdon

It will be VERY bad to be prisoners of Earth Men.

Have you heard of the word 'Gilead?'

#monsterdon

this is so much more offensive than bee girls

#monsterdon

Dolores Reed is the best actor in this movie.

#monsterdon

Okay, so after reaching the control room, the main dullards run around messing with all the controls and playing catch with the mysterious control orbs, until they eventually find the launch button and push it, launching it into space.

The space dames appear to yell at them, entering full dommy mommy mode, they angrily explaining that their rocket cannot be recovered and they're stuck on earth now.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

600 million light years and they'll just cancel it all just like....

YAYYYY, THE GIANTESSES ARE BEATING THE LITTLE MEN!

#monsterdon

Here comes the back and forth in the cave gag again.

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social maybe it is the longer version.
My sympathy

#monsterdon

OMG i didn’t notice, big momma space creature has a lisp.

#monsterdon
#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

That launch pad is obviously from another film, isn't it?

I thought they were in a cave?

#monsterdon

I love how they're afraid to really touch that big prop board because it's held together with spit

#monsterdon

Wow. The white guy out-Indianed the Indians. Just like Dances With Wolves.

#monsterdon

Don’t blame me! I voted Frogs (1972)

#invasionofthestarcreatures #monsterdon

"The colonel mixed his Uppers and his Downers and died"

#monsterdon

Back at the spaceship, the one functioning space dame is having her own problems... her favorite scarecrow guy is garbling noises at her while she tries to fix the spaceship or something... I'm not actually sure what's going on here but I'm going to guess that she's having trouble turning the space ship on with her other crew person in a lusty daze.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Okay the culture-transcending "Space Commander" boxtop club is kinda funny.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon After this is done, I have to write a formal apology to the storage medium I used to store this... film. FINE. LOL.

Wanna know something really awful? I think this is trying to SATIRIZE racist tropes #monsterdon

Just catching up on the racism part.

#monsterdon

Are you kidding me
#monsterdon

ooofff, here's some Indigenous people for the White folk to mock......

#monsterdon

I'm behind but #Monsterdon #geolocation

Invasion of the Star Creatures (15:35) filmed at

34.121424, -118.314425

People keep looking at the camera! #monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Oh fuck, the Colonel is a prop comic....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Colonel Awol. FINE.

his name is colonel awol? lmao

#monsterdon

*Poltergeist Dana voice* WHAT’S HAPPENING #monsterdon

It is kind of fascinating that this film came out at a time when a large enough percentage of the adult male population had served in the army that you could make military humor the basis of a movie #monsterdon

SPACE PALS TO THE END

oh dear lord

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Those eyebrows are hypnotic. I keep on expecting them to leap off his face and do a little catchy Jersey jingle.

Space Broads. THAT would be a title. #Monsterdon

Philblick is definitely the top.

#monsterdon

@skatem violin—I’m guessing they couldn’t afford a theremin for the whole movie #monsterdon

@moira the exit ramps have been disabled. #monsterdon

those aren't real rocks!

#monsterdon

Bouncy bouncy rocks

Rock is famous for being quite compressible

#Monsterdon

LEGIT laughing at the alien chicks’ actual voices #monsterdon

The alien-talking sounds are funny it sounds like someone just growling into a long pipe

#Monsterdon

the real monster was the script all along

#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures #monsterdon

They really do only have three sets in this movie, don't they?

#monsterdon

I can't believe Tubi is trying to insert commercials into this

#monsterdon

I'm putting the 80s live action masters of the universe on the poll tomorrow

fuck it

#monsterdon

there was a perfectly cromulent werewolf movie on the poll too

a perfectly cromulent werewolf movie

#monsterdon

I think I'm watching THE WORST flirting of all time

#Monsterdon

@paco @Bluedepth I do not want to see him in a dress #monsterdon

Inspiration for Pepe Le Peu
#monsterdon

"Grab her..."

Pigs

#monsterdon

I don't guess there's much chance these guys will both die in the next few minutes

#monsterdon

I feel the Vegiman's rage....

#monsterdon

The boys try hitting on the space girls, and we get more exposition that I guess tells us that the radioactive scarecrows are the boys and learn they are grown in dirt like plants so we see some cute monster paws waving out of the planet pots. The space girls come from a small planet with overpopulation and they're looking for a new planet and so want to conquer the earth I guess.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Wow! Pre-Kennedy-assassination Kennedy imitation. #monsterdon

We get a scene where the space dames put the main dullards into hair dryers that are mind readers, but because the joke is that they're so dumb the first one just has a mind that is blank but the second one just has a routine where a car is driving around and he's showing off his muscles. Then we try the hair dryer on the first one again and it breaks.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Really, we're already going back to the "everyone is walking through the set through multiple doors in different directions" well? We did that about five minutes ago and it wasn't any funnier then!

BOOOOO *throws popcorn at the screen* *eats popcorn with obvious delight*

#monsterdon

Haha! Salad tossed him!

#monsterdon