I honestly think even Joe Bob Briggs would have passed on that one, but I’m not googling to find out. #monsterdon

AND NOTHING OF VALUE WAS LOST

#monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

Watching this movie is like eating peppers which are way too hot for any human to consume. Unpleasant and pointless as it was, it will still be possible to impress others with your having done it #monsterdon

I bet if all of our army men were literal looney tunes characters and this was drastically shorter (say 15-30 minutes running time with none of the cursed indian parts), it would be a genuinely funny movie?

#monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

ugh

yeah that made Werewolf of Washington look like idk some good movie

I don't know

I don't know anymore

#monsterdon

@miriamrobern Smart lady took one look at all that and RAN

#monsterdon

@jsadow TBH probably one that I'm too bored with to even finish. There have been a few of those, but the paradox of those #monsterdon movies is I never pay attention long enough to rate them.

Well that was objectively a movie, I think. I spent the start of it wrapping up a podcast and a chunk of the middle reframing my MST3K: The Movie poster, which I'm gonna go hang on the wall now. G'night #monsterdon!

This movie reminded me of the @flophousepodcast scale for reviewing films. They have separate categories for "good bad movie" and "bad bad movie." This one firmly belongs in the latter. #monsterdon

What if, hear me out on this, we made a sequel of this movie, set in 2026, a self-absorbed billionaire takes over the US Space Force and redirects the GDP to finally realize his dream of sending people to Mars, but is stymied in his evil plans by two hapless soldiers and a drunken ex-AM Talk Radio star who blow up his rocket while trying to smuggle bootleg alcohol to the colony which does not yet exist.

#Monsterdon
#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

#Monsterdon "it's The end"

OH THANK GOD

good night everyone

this was definitely a movie that we watched

let it never again cross our screens

Full circle, I was having fun with this ridiculous movie until the incredibly insensitive scenes with the Native Americans. Then it fell right onto the scrap heap of “#monsterdon movies we should never have voted for”. 😞

Ok, this movie was proof that the voters horny for women shouldn't get to vote anymore

#Monsterdon

Perfect example of mediocre white guys failing upwards. Medal of Honor for awkwardly kissing women who are far superior to them in every way.

#monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures, from 1962, was full of attempts at interstellar hijinks, boinks, zoinks, and bazoongas! All those attempts failed, miserably, but we also had,

I thought the racist tree stump movie was bad but christ

#monsterdon

we enter the epilogue with Bridge over River Kwai whistling and with some stock footage of a proper formation?

so very much of its time

#Monsterdon

Ewwwwwww

They're kissing men way, way beneath them....in many ways.

Earthmen are the true monsters of this galactic supercluster

#monsterdon

Y'know, I was *so sure* Bee Girls was gonna be EASILY the worst movie of the year. I was *certain* it was gonna be an open and shut case. #Monsterdon

It will be VERY bad to be prisoners of Earth Men.

Have you heard of the word 'Gilead?'

#monsterdon

this is so much more offensive than bee girls

#monsterdon

Dolores Reed is the best actor in this movie.

#monsterdon

600 million light years and they'll just cancel it all just like....

YAYYYY, THE GIANTESSES ARE BEATING THE LITTLE MEN!

#monsterdon

Here comes the back and forth in the cave gag again.

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social maybe it is the longer version.
My sympathy

#monsterdon

OMG i didn’t notice, big momma space creature has a lisp.

#monsterdon
#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

That launch pad is obviously from another film, isn't it?

I thought they were in a cave?

#monsterdon

I love how they're afraid to really touch that big prop board because it's held together with spit

#monsterdon

Wow. The white guy out-Indianed the Indians. Just like Dances With Wolves.

#monsterdon

Don’t blame me! I voted Frogs (1972)

#invasionofthestarcreatures #monsterdon

"The colonel mixed his Uppers and his Downers and died"

#monsterdon

Okay the culture-transcending "Space Commander" boxtop club is kinda funny.

#monsterdon

Wanna know something really awful? I think this is trying to SATIRIZE racist tropes #monsterdon

Just catching up on the racism part.

#monsterdon

Are you kidding me
#monsterdon

ooofff, here's some Indigenous people for the White folk to mock......

#monsterdon

I'm behind but #Monsterdon #geolocation

Invasion of the Star Creatures (15:35) filmed at

34.121424, -118.314425

Oh fuck, the Colonel is a prop comic....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Colonel Awol. FINE.

his name is colonel awol? lmao

#monsterdon

*Poltergeist Dana voice* WHAT’S HAPPENING #monsterdon

It is kind of fascinating that this film came out at a time when a large enough percentage of the adult male population had served in the army that you could make military humor the basis of a movie #monsterdon

SPACE PALS TO THE END

oh dear lord

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Those eyebrows are hypnotic. I keep on expecting them to leap off his face and do a little catchy Jersey jingle.

Space Broads. THAT would be a title. #Monsterdon

Philblick is definitely the top.

#monsterdon

@skatem violin—I’m guessing they couldn’t afford a theremin for the whole movie #monsterdon

@moira the exit ramps have been disabled. #monsterdon

those aren't real rocks!

#monsterdon

Bouncy bouncy rocks

Rock is famous for being quite compressible

#Monsterdon

LEGIT laughing at the alien chicks’ actual voices #monsterdon

The alien-talking sounds are funny it sounds like someone just growling into a long pipe

#Monsterdon

the real monster was the script all along

#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures #monsterdon

They really do only have three sets in this movie, don't they?

#monsterdon

I can't believe Tubi is trying to insert commercials into this

#monsterdon

I'm putting the 80s live action masters of the universe on the poll tomorrow

fuck it

#monsterdon

there was a perfectly cromulent werewolf movie on the poll too

a perfectly cromulent werewolf movie

#monsterdon

I think I'm watching THE WORST flirting of all time

#Monsterdon

Inspiration for Pepe Le Peu
#monsterdon

I don't guess there's much chance these guys will both die in the next few minutes

#monsterdon

I feel the Vegiman's rage....

#monsterdon

The boys try hitting on the space girls, and we get more exposition that I guess tells us that the radioactive scarecrows are the boys and learn they are grown in dirt like plants so we see some cute monster paws waving out of the planet pots. The space girls come from a small planet with overpopulation and they're looking for a new planet and so want to conquer the earth I guess.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Wow! Pre-Kennedy-assassination Kennedy imitation. #monsterdon

We get a scene where the space dames put the main dullards into hair dryers that are mind readers, but because the joke is that they're so dumb the first one just has a mind that is blank but the second one just has a routine where a car is driving around and he's showing off his muscles. Then we try the hair dryer on the first one again and it breaks.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Really, we're already going back to the "everyone is walking through the set through multiple doors in different directions" well? We did that about five minutes ago and it wasn't any funnier then!

BOOOOO *throws popcorn at the screen* *eats popcorn with obvious delight*

#monsterdon

Haha! Salad tossed him!

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social I voted for Frogs
#monsterdon

Oh okay are we doing racism to the veggie aliens is that what we're going to do in this movie?

#Monsterdon

They're pretty spot on with the state of Men though in this movie, I'll give them that

#monsterdon

This guy is the least convincing straight man I've ever met. #Monsterdon

Artie! The strongest MAN… in the world #invasionofthestarcreatures #monsterdon

Oh my god are they too stupid to mind-read reliably

#Monsterdon

Okay, these guys being too dumb for the mind reading machine to work *is* funny

#monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

Surprising me further, there are two radioactive scarecrows, and they encounter the main Dullards who are taking a nap after eating their turkey. They are captured and dragged into some extremely well lit spaceship, where we meet two Dames who are from space who command the Space Scarecrows and come from a planet several hundred million light years away.

#monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures

Women tall enough to put an eye out with those bullet bras, perfection

#Monsterdon

they're quite tall

well

for once i do not mind the writer's barely-concealed fetish

#InvasionOfTheStarCreatures #monsterdon

"the dames"

they are people and they have names buddy.

#monsterdon

Abduction! Watch out for your cornhole buddy #monsterdon

Oh dear fuck, is that supposed to be the Creature?

I did a 6th Form Communication project in the 90s with better production values

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Carrot monsters. Fine. This is like trying to do musical appreciation of Muzak in an elevator.

Did Philbrick and Pongo have sex?

#monsterdon

Maybe the creatures will make this better...
maybe the ending will make this better...
#monsterdon

I am in the minority on this one I guess but I am having fun with this so far. It's stupid but it's *supposed* to be stupid, even for its era.

We'll see about the problematic bits I guess.

#Monsterdon

Enough with the running back and forth gag.

#monsterdon

Some movies should try to take themselves seriously, this is good example

#monsterdon

really getting the most out of that stage, aren't they?

#monsterdon

Groot confirmed #monsterdon

#monsterdon These army men have better adherence to quarantine and safety regulations, way more than any other more serious sci-fi film. That is not saying a lot.

Okay the unruly backpack guys are the scene stealers so far.

#monsterdon

Every time these two take off their hats it makes me think of this old Onion article. #monsterdon

I hope the monster horribly disembowels all of them

#monsterdon

Maybe Stanley Kubrick saw this movie and made Dr. Strangelove to prove something.

#Monsterdon

Okay, the dance-walking made me laugh. Soooooo dumb. 😂 #monsterdon

Too bad Dad’s at Sunday dinner— he was a teenager when it came out so he’d be able to tell me whether it would have been funny or stupid even back then #monsterdon

i am so glad i am not watching this alone. thanks #monsterdon folks!

#monsterdon Not the colonel, but almost:

What a fresh take on “Brevity is the soul of wit” #Monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

"Nukulear devastation"

#monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures

If I wanted meat puppets to send to certain death in Space, I think it would be these two.

Is this how it worked back then?

#monsterdon

I just can't keep watching this one. Five minutes of my life already wasted on it is enough. #Monsterdon