oh, this thing with la manga (waterhose?) is supposed to be funny? so thatβs why he was shaking like that and has sharpie eyebrows and a voice like Costello.
oh.
ok.
@paco yeah, the universal translator parody was the most genuinely funny moment in this #monsterdon
@RufusJCooter I was confused by that, my guess was because the girls were from space and were therefore radioactive.
I think the kissing noise in itself was supposed to *be* the punchline?
@floatybirb the harrowing racial stereotypes and declawing of Amazons did it for me.
@Zerofactorial @Taweret@octodon.social they'd enjoy it, that's how bad this film is #monsterdon
#monsterdon It's a good thing that they didn't use this for MST3k, or that would have been listed as a violation of the geneva conention and a war crime. The whole launch Joel into space bit. Ah, well, FINE.
I felt bad for the people for whom the Bee girls was their first Monsterdon. I feel worse for the newbs tonight. Pat yourselves on the back soldiers you made it through the worst of the worst. #Monsterdon #InvasionOfTheStarCreatures
I mean, people voted for this piece of shit.
Whew, that took a little effort to get to a conclusion.
I'm not sure what was harder - filming it or watching it.
I am now Kasting Highlander II: The Quickening as a palate cleanser #monsterdon
#monsterdon Those two idiots really make me root for the aliens
@sealawyer you cannot delete it from your mind though, that is the true horror of Monsterdon
I'm trying to work out which of Prof. Tanga and Dr. Puna have tenure in this scenario. The rank seems a bit uncertain.
whatβs the name of the tree movie we saw last year? itβs like they saw that movie and thought they could improve on that. especially the racism.
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The mere fact we are watching this is an insult to us, and that is the funniest part
I'm not sure I can make it through this, y'all
Because our party is clearly doomed, we need reinforcements, and so helpfully encounter a polycule of Native American Village People on horseback; amazingly they look more like stereotypical southwest indians than the expected stereotypical plains indians but manage to be simultaneously almost hot and extremely embarrassing.
That reaction shot from the secretary was meme-worthy
You could hotbox that helmet and miss the rest of the movie.....
break out the Oscar for the receptionist
SPACE PALS TO THE END
In the ensuing battle, the scarecrow guys demonstrate their superior strength by lifting paper mache rocks and breaking logs, which one main characters counters by defeating physics and levitating himself in the air to catch a branch, and the other counters by rolling in the grass and then begging.
Fortunately, we here an Unbidden Whirling Noise, which is the sound of Telepathy as the scarecrow guys are recalled to the cave.
Okay, so a remake, but it's just the giant women and the Vegemen hanging out on whatever planet they're from. Did they say the name of their planet?
@lytta very niche reference for a halloween party costume #monsterdon
Look, can we just cut to the chase, yeet Philbrick and Penn into a different movie, and let the carrot monsters take on the starring role? They are obviously taking this very seriously, and the audience loves them. Plus they are very nutritious.
This scene needs a Gorn.
ooo, weird alien language, that's fun
Captured by the space dames with the uncomfortable looking utility belts, the boys decide to escape with the power of seduction, which involves talking in French and being uncomfortable. The girl is confused by this because they don't have horniness on their planet yet.
Eventually this plan works and one of them kisses the girl, which makes a very electrical kissing noise puts her into... well... I'm gonna say a "standing faint".
"What is love?"
*one idiot tries to tackle Dr. Puna and gets shoulder-tossed*
_stares straight into the camera_ baby don't hurt me / don't hurt me / no more
Not that Sinatra⦠NANCY SINATRA
Hahahaa... Vegimen awkwardly tossing an already broken table. This is like a high school production.π #monsterdon
Lol, these space ladies are pretty spot on about our doomed culture, I'll give them that
I really hope these ladies kick the shit out of those dudes.
the use of CAT to describe the big-lipped ET is so 1960s. they also just used JAZZ and YOU DIG. big linguistic faux pas if theyβre supposed to be setting the movie 10 years earlier.
yes, am the life of the nerd party.
As I understand 20th Century, those two characters just had sex
INDIGENOUS rock? Oh boy, here we go with this now
this wurlitzer music is not helping. i did chuckle with the decanting of the wine.
@davesdogmaggie post-COVID, poorly wearing a mask hits a bit different
Timing. Comedy is all about timing.
There is a line of soldiers in the room, whom the main goofs join, that the colonel is terrorizing with a sword, a gun, and a grenade; the former because the colonel likes swords and the later two because this is America and some things never change.
We learn our mission; there was a mysterious explosion and it left a crater, and there's a cave in the crater and the army dudes have to investigate it because this is the cold war and atomic space nuclear.
#monsterdon If it's any consolation, this was voted "Worst vegetable related sci fi movie ever made." so, there's a category, you know more than you did, and you're a little worse off for it.
Now we get to see some of that lovely California countryside before it went up in flames
*Laughs the damned laugh of 2025
Would 1962 people have been laughing at this? I think no.
#monsterdon We are thirteen minutes into this film and we're still being subjected to this "idiotic army officer briefs a room full of idiots" scene, this does not bode well for my mental health
(this was a perfect choice for the evening, well done everyone)
I'm not sure I can do this.
Oh crap. It's a comedy.
If there's one thing that ages like milk, it's comedy. I can't wait for those 1962 pop culture references we will not get at all.
@TerryHancock @ohiofi I had to capture it. It was a fabulous line. #monsterdon
I think this was the high point of the film. When some actress managed to pull off this line smoothly with a straight face. It was the most talent visible in a single scene. #monsterdon
@floatybirb @RufusJCooter honestly thought it was just random electricity
the idea that they're giving the army guys cancer makes me feel a little better
@MCDuncanLab @SordidAmok those poor Vegimen, just pawns in all this... #monsterdon
@diazona @davesdogmaggie Honestly, I voted for it because I thought, "We've had some 70s films with gratuitous nudity lately. I don't have a problem with that, but let's balance it out with some early 60s stuff where I know they won't have that."
I was wrong. Racism is worse than nudity, every time.
A reminder, we could have actually GOOD riff-worthy films.
@miriamrobern If I ever get a time machine I promise to go back to the day after the robbery and take a dose of Narcan. #monsterdon
I think I only managed a chuckle, a chortle, and a smirk out of that comedy feature.
Not a gem in the pantheon of the comedy-film genre.
I did like the giant women and the Vegemen. Everything else about it was horrible.
Joanne Arnold, who played Dr. Puna, is STILL ALIVE in a retirement community in Washington.
She has no filmography credits after Invasion of the Star Creatures. Apparently starring in this movie cured her of wanting anything to do with the film industry.
Imagine if the giant women from space had taken over Earth, killed all the men and started an all women society with Vegemen slaves. That would be a movie.
Oh, but the Vegemen like being slaves. Like the slaves in the Harry Potter books. Okay. Wait. Forget I said that.
Weβve just participated in something shameful and Iβm not going to be able to interact with any of you for a few days at least. #Monsterdon
Dolores Reed, who played Dr Tanga:
In 1960, she married Boyce Leon Mosco, a salesman and heroin addict, who once was convicted of armed robbery. Falling on hard times three years later, he, Dolores and others tried to rob an armored truck but failed and managed to flee. A frightened Dolores hid out at home where she died of a heroin overdose the following day.
Finally free!!
I really hope the rest of the fleet arrives like Three Body Problem* and wipes them all out.
*no spoilers
#monsterdon It's idly, foolishly racist. Which is just what racism is. So. FINE.
We then learn that marriage is like slavery, and then the space dames are carrying all the dumb boxes the main characters were carrying into the cave, out of the cave, asserting the triumph of patriarchal values and norms after those mores were threatened by dommy space dames, presumably making the audience uncomfortable.
"you will learn to love your oppression ladies, it's the Earth way"
holy Christ in heaven help us
Crap. They're not going to kill Philbluck and Pimm.
The bar for comedic excellence in this film is a sound board and two actors poking at levers and dials on a static set, apparently. At least we got through that inexcusable prior scene.
But where are our carrot monster heros?!
Okay, so after farting around the campfire causing multiple human resources complaints, everyone gets drunk and passes out, then the main characters wake up and go after the space dames; unfortunately neither the colonel nor the american indian stereotypes accompany them.
However, their support is not needed, because the space dames have left their cave-mounted rocketship unguarded.
#monsterdon It's every foley sound they had left. All at once. FINE? :)
Bad foley artist. Bad bad bad. Must be punished #monsterdon
#monsterdon This movie is unconsciously queer. In that, I have some respect.
OMG there are still 10 minutes to this movie.
I can't wait for this one to go into the dustbin of history.
I'm building a time machine just so I can travel to the 60s and beat this guy with a baseball bat
Okay, so the leader of the polycule also has a space cereal ring, and so is automatically recruited into our doomed expedition. Because this movie was made before the American Indian Movement taught the white man the meaning of shame, we get a peace pipe ceremony, pass around a jug of moonshine and then do a dance for no reason.
Props to the hottest indian stereotype for not smoking but doing an extremely silly dance.
#monsterdon The alien language sounds like someone trying to clear a drain.
The women's outfits and general portrayal don't seem so offensive now, do they?
Oh fuck, with all the hideous racism I almost forgot the main plot about the Giantesses....
Oh! This must be the offensive part.
ahh okay back to the racism now
So the scarecrow guys are going back because the space babes are about to take off in their spaceship, which the main characters decide to tattle on to the colonel. Naturally, he thinks they're idiots, but he convinces them by swearing on his Space Commander Connor's Secret Ring, which I guess comes from a cereal box and automatically enrolls you into a nerd frat with a designated pecking order.
The space pal salute is incredible. This is a good bit, I like this bit.
gotta say, the music for this fight scene is not the right tempo for a fight scene.
Feels more avant garde
Okay so the other dame realizes that the first dame is paralyzed by Love (speaking in french and doing a very noisy kiss), and that the puny earthlings have escaped. They send their scarecrow guys in pursuit, who roll some rocks at the escaping humans in a scene that needs both a coyote and a gorn.
#monsterdon When I get in the credits someday, I definitely want (Wow!) after my name
How is still 30 minutes left?
#monsterdon
Having escaped from the space dames, we decide to light a cigarette in the cave because this is the 1960s, and then realize that we can use the flickering light to determine where the wind is, which we use to escape the cave. We get the gag again where they run six times over the same cave set in different directions, which is I think another riff on the Extensive Sets available to most #monsterdon movies.
This would be unwatchable if not for our beloved carrot monsters.
"What a female wrestler you'd make"
Hmmm, got any aztec mummies handy? We could get a sequel going.
The girls decide to show us their alien powers to terrify the dumb guys, so they use their cool horn guns on their scarecrow servants... which, when fired, causes them to dance a little bit and then disappear.
I'm thinking, "Maybe you shouldn't shoot those at your own goons?" but then again I am not an expert space invasion strategist.
2 or 3 hundred years? Lady, we're going to destroy our world a lot sooner than that.
those shoulder darts on the creaturettes cut out blouses are the real MVPs, doing all the work in this movie.
I like the dialog where the main dullards are like "Well, how do you speak our language?" and the space dames are like "Oh we have a <technobabble> that does <nonsense>." and the audience is like "wowzers they have watched the #monsterdon movies before, this is just like all of them!"
Baby? She's a professor and the other one is a doctor, you pig.
Finally, bullet bras.
Are these off-brand Devil Girls From Mars? Or knock-off Cat Women Of The Moon? #monsterdon #invasionofthestarcreatures