absolutely incredible. possible contender for The Worst Movie, right here.

#monsterdon

Kelly, the last maverick standing

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

HAHAHA. Omg. Fuck you helicopter. #monsterdon

Oh wait I was wrong, the helicopter does have rockets for some reason. But because Ranger Kelly is fond of the Ango-Saxon epic beowulf, he decides to land the helicopter and challenge the murder bear to personal combat.

The bear responds by spinning the landed helicopter and walking between its rotors. Ranger Kelly starts shooting it but does zero damage and it walks away from the blades to fight him.

#monsterdon

Firing from the hip that way is, uh... Not how you're gonna save Kelly.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Oh no, bear is flying the helicopter. How can this be?

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

What was that movie that was basically the same as this except they were skiing?

#monsterdon

the bear is so cute

#Monsterdon

he cast Ultima on the bear :D :D :D #Monsterdon

Chop chop chop lil chopper!

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

A lot of computers hunt salmon and sleep through winter, it's true

#Monsterdon

NGL I get angry when my dinner wakes up too. #Monsterdon

Oh wait, but as he was waking up the bear comes back so it roars at him and kills him for real. plot twist averted. Ranger Kelly and Helicopter Guy come up on his body and decide to bury him.

#monsterdon

@flowerpot Thank God - this film is total crap

#monsterdon

Okay, so on the way to meet Ranger Kelly, Aragorn's horse is somehow decapitated by the Murder Bear with one swipe, and then the bear murders him too and start badly burying him. Then we discover he was not really dead but just unconscious, so he wakes up.

#monsterdon

That's how I look after filing my taxes. #monsterdon

@jonny he ran out of women and had to start eating men with small penises #monsterdon

Wait why does this bear have lightsaber paws that can just rip the head off of a horse with one swipe?

#monsterdon

The bear just made an offer that Scottie can't refuse

#Monsterdon

did we ever figure out why the bear only eats women or what was the deal with that, they even said it onscreen a bunch of times #monsterdon

Helicopter Guy and Ranger Kelly decided to camp in the woods by their helicopter; shockingly they did this and were not attacked by the Murder Bear. Meanwhile, Aragorn is riding around the woods; eventually he finds a partially eaten deer that was probably the one Ranger Kelly left out as a trap.

He calls Ranger Kelly and they have... yet another 70s guy pissing match for no reason. Eventually they decide to meet somewhere in the woods to... um... hunt bears.

#monsterdon

"I'm gonna check for the bear near the 12th green."
#monsterdon

The actor who played Scott was in Dirty Dozen. I thought I'd seen him somewhere

#monsterdon

He's doing the Family Guy death pose :P #Monsterdon

The bear will never leave if you keep providing it food. #monsterdon

My favorite part of this movie is that it has lots of trees in it. #monsterdon

extra close up of a pine - possibly my favorite shot so far. #TreeAppreciator

#monsterdon

That might be first time we've watched a 70s movie and I've thought to myself, "wow, cool zoom" but the camerawork here on the first watch was pretty good IMO? Not fancy, but well-done.

#Monsterdon

@LGS I think we should make #Trump watch this movie so he thinks that we need the park rangers back to protect us from the Grizzly Threat. #USPol #Monsterdon

"This bear's boots were made in the Strand!"

#Monsterdon

Our deer carcass plan almost works, but the bear notices the rangers at the last minute and it runs away, and they fail to shoot it.

We now have a Man Vs Bear chase scene where the grizzly is running followed by Ranger Kelly and Helicopter Guy. The grizzly escapes to safety by crossing a river, somehow confusing his pursuers.

#monsterdon

Vintage denim on the run

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

still processing that this 1976 movie had the balls to show a kid kill

it was a really big deal back then, not that it's any less uncommon these days! hell of a dismemberment

#Monsterdon

Reminder that I am bored by most of the park ranger dialog so I may not be a reliable reporter of the park ranger's latest anti-bear plans.

But, I guess this one involves taking a helicopter to the woods and putting up a dear carcass as bait and then lurking.

#monsterdon

@athena_rising a fine ursine

#Monsterdon

T-Rex doesn't want to be fed. He wants to hunt. #monsterdon

Wait, if this bear is 2000-3000 lbs, would a 0.30-06 be what you want?

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Joke's on them, bear steals the helicopter while they're fighting with the deer carcus and flys into town!

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

It's pretty easy to get over PTSD, in 1976

#monsterdon

(is that an actual dead deer, by the way? is that listed in trigger warnings, coz i know some people who'd be turning this off right about now...)

#monsterdon

We have decided to use a helicopter to hunt the bear, I think, so Ranger Kelly and the Helicopter Guy start loading up the helicopter with supplies. Helicopter Guy tells a story about how he killed people (hopefully soldiers and not civilians) in Vietnam and called them "gooks" so it wouldn't get personal, but it got personal and gave him a trauma.

Meanwhile Aragorn has run off on a horse to do his own thing, probably try to tranquilize the bear.

#monsterdon

that is so extremely not a grizzly

#Monsterdon

When is Fat Bear Month?

#Monsterdon

Great, now the bears is going to attack the helicopter. THAT would be fun!
#monsterdon

#monsterdon The RUSes? I doubt they exist. RAWR!

[x] slur 😬

But it's somehow also trying to be thoughtful. Not sure it's worth the effort

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

The real life tame bear does not seem like the monster the movie calls him out to be.
Bless him.

#Monsterdon

"Dat boy's weird"

Quote of the film

#Monsterdon

Oh did I get ahead somehow? Or is the main stream just slow? Have commercials hit the movie watching masses?
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

"He's alive?"

"Part of him is."

Jesus fucking Christ, movie! Lol

#Monsterdon

One Appalachian Possum-mom and chubby blond kid for a snack
#monsterdon

Ah, now we're bating the bear with human cubs. Clever! #Monsterdon

Carnival open?
Yes.
Everybody coming?
Yes.
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

This guy really tried to go for a freaking Oscar. I hope "Up... yours" was in his highlight reel. #monsterdon

Uh-oh, he'll have to turn in his forest ranger badge

This is what you get for being a ranger on the edge (of the forest)

#Monsterdon

@SordidAmok To be fair, a WW2 rifle is as old in 1976 as a G-36 is in 2025.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

His rifle is from WWII

#monsterdon

Ranger Horse grabbed an M1 rifle and tried to shoot the bear, but because everyone who grabs a gun in this movie has to drop it, he drops it. Then the bear knocks over his watch tower and mauls him. RIP Ranger Horse.

This scene reminded me of the MS-DOS strategy game Warcraft II, where your orcs could knock over watch towers by hitting them. Only instead of orcs, there was a bear.

#monsterdon

"He's not listening to you, Kelly. Because you're a maverick. And he knows it."

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

I note that the bear didn't even bother to eat the guy in the watchtower after pulling it down

Like, he's clearly just showing off now

#Monsterdon

Conventional weapons are useless against Bear!
#monsterdon

Aww he's waving. Hello. 👋
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

UFO noises in the soundtrack for the watchtower, huh

that's a choice

#Monsterdon

1100 men went into that forest. Only 317 came out.
#monsterdon

Meanwhile on the #BearFeed the bears are just chilling with some ducks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73-EekdVVU8

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

EVERYBODY JUST CALM DOWN AND MAKE A SMORE!

#monsterdon

Man in lookout

*13:00 hrs: Still a forest

#Monsterdon

People killed by bear in this #monsterdon so far:

Flannel Girl
Bikini-Shirt Girl
Makeup Girl
(Non-Murder) Bear Cub

From the current rate, I predict 4 more bear murders, plus or minus 20.

"A herd of grizzly" BRO WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? #Monsterdon

Clearly the bear has drone technology

#Monsterdon

That grizzly is definitely going to eat the war party.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Why are you hugging that wild bear cub that came into your camp at night?
How dumb are you idiots? Were you drinking moonshine from a cursed still?
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Since we had the angry park ranger scene, we get another Bear scene, where a grunting bear sneaks up on some sleeping hunters. But it is not the Murder Bear, it is simply a normal bear, and a baby. not all bears are murder bears. #notAllBears

Because they are jerks, the hunters decide to use the bear as live bait, and its gets eaten. RIP baby bear.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The bear leaves a sign on a tree. 'Ho ho ho now I have a rifle'

The friendly bear gives bingo #Monsterdon

These men utterly deserve the mauling coming to them...

#Monsterdon

When I was a little kid I would've given my entire He-Man collection for one of those - what are they - the open top Suburbans? I loved those things

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Kelly: "Now you listen to me. While you've been sitting there on your fat ass, I made this forest part of me. I made sweet love to every inch of this forest. There's not a single tree that hasn't enjoyed the touch of my gentle caress."

#Monsterdon

I want to pet the belly.
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

It's the bear's forest, Kelly

#Monsterdon

For the next montage, a bunch of unorganized militia (random hunter dudes) have arrived to try to hunt the bear. They are more numerous than I'd expect, as they have at least a squad worth of riflemen.

But they failed to do the buddy system and so one of them, named Orange Hat Man, runs off on his own; he sees the murder bear but drops his gun and runs away, dunking into the water and floating down river.

#monsterdon

His rifle is from WWI

#monsterdon

you cant blame a bear if everyone out here has never had a wilderness survival course and tries to outrun a bear #monsterdon

I can't believe the bear is chasing him. I mean he didn't even take his clothes off yet. #monsterdon

The hunter becomes the hunted?
"NO, HUNTING!"
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Bear is just chewing the scenery

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The best way to hunt is with a bunch of hunters all within fifty feet of each-other and shouting at the top of their lungs.

The Bear Movie Cycle:

A pretty girl does something
Murder Bear kills the pretty girl
Everyone Screams
The Park Rangers have an angry conversation about the Murder Bear
Montage of people doing outdoors things.
(cycle repeats)

#monsterdon

I love how the bear kills that last lady, and she's doing that whole “flying lady" thing like she's leaning over the front of the Titanic or something. LOL!

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

@Taweret This "grizzly" is 2x the weight of a typical Kodiak(!)

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

@diazona It's doing it for political reasons

#monsterdon

Pretty sure the bear isn't killing for food anymore, it's just trolling

#Monsterdon

Schlitz was the hillbilly movie beer in the 1970s

#monsterdon

I hear ✅ Cricket Sounds!

#MonsterdonBingo #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Gay bears are not this dangerous. We only hurt peoples arms when they try to lure us onto dangerous amusement park rides. Rawr! LOL

A lot of people don't know this but Grizzly was controversial because the bear was actually played by a shark.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Don't chew on ice cubes! You'll crack a tooth!

"You better have another drink"

70s mental health care

#Monsterdon

They need to put up a 'check waterfall cave for grizzly bears before entering' sign at the very least. #monsterdon