#monsterdon Who knew Calvin Klein Obsession would drive bears into a mauling frenzy?

jesus does not NAIL the tree

jesus GETS nailed to the tree

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

That's right just hunt for that bear all by yourself. #Monsterdon

nice that he wore that bright orange vest so the bear could find him easier.

#monsterdon

“Everybody, back to your campsite.” Heck no. I’m going home! #Monsterdon

This man called a bear a bum. #monsterdon

@turgon booooo

I snorted out loud
#monsterdon

"Watch out for snakes!"

#monsterdon
#Grizzly

Oh, this is a bad choice. The bear is already clearly a misogynist, so unleashing a bunch of vulnerable gun-toting boys is just going to help it establish a cult of personality. The Bear to far-right pipeline is real, people. #monsterdon

I mean, other than people with guns not a ton of other things to throw at the problem, what do you want, airstrikes? #monsterdon

Chekhov’s Guy Who Says “Damn Dogs”.

#Monsterdon

Whoever suggested getting dogs out with enough handlers to defend against an actual bear, you get a gold star.
#Monsterdon

vigilante justice against wildlife is 2real, these guys are just all the people in the rockies going out to poach the wolves #monsterdon

Dozens of Elmers Fudd forming an impromptu militia is one of my favorite things that comes up in these #monsterdon

no, not jesus

land shark

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

#monsterdon

Bear feet.
Could it be our first male victim..?

@Taweret My guess is they spent all the money on a helicopter
#monsterdon

First bear feet shots.
#monsterdon

You'd think that with this being a US movie, the solution would have been to get a Good Bear with a Gun.

#monsterdon #grizzly1976

The lack of blaze orange has me worried. There's only one of them who are interested in not getting shot. #hunterSafety #Monsterdon

Aaaaand the disorganized posse finds something harmless or just mistakenly shoots each other? #monsterdon

@Cherizilla@mastodon.social May i be excused now? 🐻 😅

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

let's hope these clowns do a better job than they did in night of the living dead

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

no grizzly but i found harrison ford! #monsterdon

The bear could eat all those hunters but I think he's a misogynist so instead will just try to be one of them....

#Monsterdon

"You do the job or I will."

Bro, go ahead, would love to see you dismembered. #Monsterdon

@caban4 didnt the first couple count?

#monsterdon

So, Allison...I am opening a burger chain. For now can I call you Wendy?

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

where's barney?

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Okay but as someone who likes to hike and camp in Shenandoah and whose parents just caught a mama and a pair of babies on their security cam, you really do need to be careful with your food storage.

Usually they just tear up your car, though.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Why was the bear swinging that lady like that? #monsterdon So twisted.

Orange hat guy is a gunner.
#Monsterdon

“No hunting.” Punch up by Oscar Wilde?

#Monsterdon #Grizzly

#monsterdon Okay kids, into the bear. I mean bus. I--oh, I was right the first time somehow.

#Monsterdon 🐻 🧸 🐻‍❄️ 🐻 💞 😱

to be fair, Scott *is* a maniac and he doesn't understand anything about bears

I also smell food left out and eat it
#monsterdon

what kind of elite park ranger squad does washington have #monsterdon

Got the white pickup truck for my Bingo!
#Monsterdon

he's a maniac
maniac
for the de-ee-er

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

What exactly was the bear doing with her for that angle / arm position??

#Monsterdon

Grizzly eau de toilette was a poor fragrance choice #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Gordon Liddy actually claimed on his 80s radio show that menstruating women attracted bears. 🤷‍♀️

Every Jaws rip off needs Shelly Winters in a funny hat. Tentacles set the bar too high. #Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

there's no such thing as grizzlies

#Monsterdon

nope, just another excuse to show a lady's undies

#monsterdon

I mean...she looked pretty dead, bro #Monsterdon

So the bear has psychic powers? Seems he likes to thrash his victims back and forth rather than attack directly #Monsterdon

There was not enough time between perfume application and that murder for me to make a joke about perfume attracting murderous misogynist bears. #monsterdon

So he only kills white women?
The bear is sexist??? Whut.
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

@jonny He is an alegory for the nake sexual predator. Or the filmmakers had a lot of trouble with freudian stuff
#monsterdon

@hollie@social.coop The only perfume I'll wear while camping is Calvin Klein's Obsession, because I'm hoping the mountain lions will keep the bears at bay

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

This bear has been drinking, and they have *horrible* taste in brew!

#monsterdon #grizzly1976

I was almost asleep. Well done, movie, well done.
#Monsterdon

AUS: 7.0
ENG: 6.5
CAN: 6.8
RUS: 3.2

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Pleistocene reference! #Monsterdon

Guys, it's the NAME of the MOVIE. Definitely it's a grizzly.

#monsterdon

There's a dedicated community of bear-watchers who follow the various camera feeds from Katmai and can tell all the bears apart and follow their escapades over the season. There are bear fan-cams so to speak. https://youtu.be/dSgCj_HCIT4

"It isn't a big brown. It's a grizzly." Wait I thought brown bears and grizzlies were the same thing. How many freaking types of bears can there possibly be in North America.

typing noises

Aha! National Parks Service: "Brown bears, also known as grizzly bears…"

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon That cumiuple looks expendable.

#monsterdon Arctos Ursus Horribilis Very Very Bad No Goodus

Shot composition? What's that?

#Monsterdon

that was what, 5 seconds from tent destruction to...whatever that was?

what _was_ that?

what was that even supposed to be?

#monsterdon

he got granny!

#monsterdon

i do like to think that if i was grabbed by a monster pleistocene-era grizzly bear, that any partner i may have at the time would be smart enough to get the hell out of there, and not just stand there like an idiot screaming.

#monsterdon

AWESOME!
#Monsterdon

I have no idea what was happening in that attack.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

At most he only gets like one or two bites per kill. Poor thing must be starving. #Monsterdon

So, the bear is a best from a million years ago. neat
#monsterdon

Bear 4, people 0

#monsterdon

Aha, the helicopter pilot is played by Andrew Prine, who was also in The Town That Dreaded Sundown the same year. #Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Ok, that woman putting on scent in the tent really is asking for that

I don’t know why she got put in an Exorcist hold though #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976 and thus she must be punished

hehehehehehehehehehe tent bear demands blood!
#Monsterdon

how is it that this terrible campfire singing can exist in the same movie as the jaunty opening theme

#Monsterdon

the editing there made very little sense

#Monsterdon

I'm not sure what the term for the especially-children variety of misanthropy is, but I hope it ets some damned kids. #monsterdon

NEAT!!!! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976 ma'am everyone can see you preparing for sex night through the tent

Schlitz drinker must die!!!!!! #Monsterdon

So they ran down the mountain and then setup a jamboree camp at te foot of the same mountain?

They deserve to die.

#Monsterdon

Look, human nuggies (the bear; about the kids; probably) #Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

#monsterdon "How dare you shoot at me! I was just in the forest, on all fours, wearing a deerskin! ...making...deer noises..."

That guy looks an awful lot like some guys I've seen in some bars around here...

#Monsterdon

Maybe it's just a really FAT bear #Monsterdon

@davesdogmaggie 😆
#Monsterdon

The 70's were just hornier (and oiler) times
#monsterdon

... the Hell was that face?

#Monsterdon

A million year old grizzly? Is this an immortal vampire bear!?
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976 what does a 2,000-lb 15-ft grizzly bear call a bunch of kids at camp?

tapas

oh shit i found waldo and I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

I don't believe I've heard that much wrong science since …

Wait, never mind. Not gonna get political.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

"Weird Al" better survive, or I'm gonna riot.

#monsterdon

Not sure if the science on bear sizes there is accurate, but it's probably not that far off.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

this is what happens when you don't bother with bear boxes!

#monsterdon

Aaaaah, so we’re in The Meg territory with this Grizzly. #monsterdon

Oh here we go. Dinner buffet. #monsterdon

This is reminding me I was gonna reserve a camping spot in Shenandoah for my birthday in a couple weeks.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

oo, are we gonna eat the children now? wonderful.

#monsterdon

Scott should throw that sandwich at the bear.

#Monsterdon

You called the bear master in, and then you’re going to question everything he says?

Make it make sense #Monsterdon

All my ecologist friends know that bears have patterns #Monsterdon