Moxxi had her first #Monsterdon experience and all she has to say is that the retro screeching made it hard to nap.
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ok I had to pause and screencap this #monsterdon
so #GodzillaMegalon is Full House and Bicentennial Man with a dash of Pokemon and Mazinger Z and a subplot underground Gay Nazis barely springtiming for Megalon. i loved it!
thanks @Taweret@octodon.social @cheribaker @joewynne and all the hot ass mess of monsterdonians for this wonderfully hot ass mess of a movie. this is his how i like to start my week.
YOU MADE GODZILLA BLEED! prepare to die π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘ π‘
uh-oh, Jet Jaguar has discovered free will. you can't do anything about it.
Why won't Japan share it's wacky anti-monster science weapons with the world?!
i found some funny powder... [proceeds to snort it]
WTF is that dude doing in a whole suit in the middle of nowhere?
the lapels, the bell bottoms, the turtle neck. and the sideburns. i don't care about the kid in danger, i am living for that Sears Roebuck look.
#monsterdon that ending theme
those lyrics
...I...
OH WOW THAT'S IT
Godzilla fucks off into the desert! Megalon has returned to Seatopia's subterranean caverns! Gigan has... gone somewhere off screen! And Jet Jaguar has apparently stopped being sentient as soon as the need to punch, punch, punch things disappeared. And that's a wreck!!
Thank you, @Taweret@octodon.social! I have loved many of these films but I think I have laughed so hard at none. What a movie.
Jet Jaguar's jacket reminded me of someone elese's jacket.
Michael Jackson in Thriller
Japanese Severus Snape has fantastically bouncy hair⦠that's the true fantasy of this movie
That's a secret feature IKEA doesn't often advertise. Chairs that easily disassemble when you're tied to them. #Monsterdon
@diazona @Taweret@octodon.social such classic monsterdon shenanigans!
So many beautiful explosions! Weird biology! Ignorance of Physical Laws! Sexual Ambiguity!
#monsterdon *Jet Jaguar mimes some kind of nonsense at Godzilla, who obviously just woke up from a nap and is feeling kind of groggy and suspicious*
"What's that, Jet Jaguar? Little Timmy fell down the well??"
#monsterdon *clonks the side of the vessel with heels; it rings*
"Steel. We're in some kind of steel box."
literally me every time I ride the bus
what's amazing about this movie is that they casually have two guys break into their lair, which holds a robot and yet the guys are not after the robot because⦠why?!?
see that? See Godzilla and Jet Jaguar working together? That's Teamwork!
Pay attention Humanity
#monsterdon
Think of the size of the punch cards they're going to have to use to program him now.
Like all movie robots Jet Jaguar has become self aware and fucked off for a bit.
btw i have that toy #Godzilla somewhere in this apartment. bought it with Mechagodzilla when the kids were little... for them, of course
#monsterdon I will never tire of Megalon (a person in a large rubber suit) looking into the sky at Jet Jaguar circling overhead (a small plastic action figure being suspended by a fishing line and being waved around in circles)
they should have sent a poet
so driving down stairs is a thing in Asian movies? i gotta say, those are some sturdy ass suspensions
they really recorded these dubs over the phone, didn't they?
#monsterdon FOR SEATOPIA
i was not prepared for the Gay Aryan Megalomaniac from hell
#monsterdon Oh _wow_, between the toga robes, the unexpected choreography interlude, and the headdresses, Seatopia is definitely when the drugs in this movie kicked in
o_O'
So Gigan fucked off into space once his rental ran out and Megalon fucked off into Seatopia? (Meanwhile Godzilla presumably fucked off to Monaster Island, and Jet Jaguar... had his free will leave instead?)
That was silly.
They didn't allow male-male kissing in this era of Japanese film-making, but we all know what that handshake meant, right?
#monsterdon a young Michael Bay was busy taking notes from thus picture. The key is noise, fast cuts, and plausible deniability!
#monsterdon The jaw harp soundtrack as Godzilla walks up while fist pumping to hype himself up is just *chef's kiss*
MONSTER PUNCH
#monsterdon ...and now we get to the second choreography interlude where Gigan and Megalon decide who shall wreck Jet Jaguar by... dancing at each other..?
what a day, what a glorious day
Megalon's confuse a cat move, but for a mega robot
JET JAGUAR'S BITCHSLAP OF DOOM
it's on, like Grey Poupon!
seriously, that computer panel is like Operation but on steroids and for a Robot.
that computer panel looks like a JET JAGUAR OPERATION. was there a collaboration between Toho and Hasbro?
#monsterdon MONSTER SIGN, WE HAVE MONSTER SIGN
#monsterdon For the record, although that ridiculous incendiary charge thrown by the attackers to deter pursuit was hilarious in its own right, Vincent Price's wrist-tossed smoke grenades still hold the key to my heart
#monsterdon I remain moderately skeptical of the jazz flute soundtrack
LMAO the voiceovers sound like they're literally phoning them in.
How come I didn't get one of those when I was a kid? All I got was a pool noodle. Japanese kids get all the best toys.
TOHO AND NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS there's not a better iconic duo
Heyyyyy, did we see anybody 'fuck off into the sea' or was it just implied?
Anyway, classic Monsterdon shenanigans!
Or, let's all just go back to the strange way things started and forget the underwater people we accidentally nuked tried to kill us all before the giant Kaiju wrestling match.
The end.
It was a pretty good #monsterdon
Not sure if I want to watch WWE, play #mariokart or... Hang on, gonna rewind and dance with the under water people since they got left out at the end.
LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLE!!!!
Kaiju dance off!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOW DARE YOU SHOOT DOWN JET JAGUAR!!!
Thankfully they didn't have internet back then, or Jet Jaguar would use his newly found free will to scroll social media all day. #Monsterdon
they really went out of their way to find the gayest βnot that there's anything wrong with thatβ German villains they could find, didn't they?
the set people are really in an imagine battle against Harry Harryhausen, aren't they?
Whoah, Gozilla knows robot semaphore.
[ Japanese military orgy of missiles and lasers sounds ]
hurr hurr, it's says '69' on the chopper
Jet Jaguar is in this movie because Ultraman became a thing, right? That's what we're all thinking, right?
1970s truck mounted ray gun, later decommissioned because they were too cool #monsterdon
OMG PUNCH CARD SOFTWARE!!!!
#monsterdon half that set is for sale at IKEA.
#monsterdon Iβm not on LSD. Iβm not. Butβ¦ it feels like I am.
it is not a 1970s movie if nobody is smoking around a kid, INDOORS. how is live action Ash not asthmatic?
that shitty string saves the day for little live-action Ash. Pokemon is the crossover show they didn't tell us about this movie.
They abandoned that funky boat thing to the monster, those cowards!
LMAO the precursor to Magicarp
@forestine @msh @Louisa a load of sea based Libertarians expecting a female monster to do all their work for them? I can see that. #monsterdon
Is this like Star Trek, where we've got to alternate good movies and bad?
It took a lot of bad Godzilla movies for them to actually start cranking out good ones. A LOT. This was definitely one of them.
Personally, I think it's just silly, because Jet Jaguar is a robot, so it would just be a male giant lizard kissing a neuter robot. I mean, Jet Jaguar doesn't even have a *&**. That's where you insert the giant punchcards, in case anyone was wondering.
CLOSE DOWN THE EXIT PORT aka, throw some rocks on the hole.
getting a view of Jet Jaguar's massive wedgy π€¨
Megalon wants to play patty cake patty cake of doom. how rude.
I hope Godzilla and Jet Jaguar get an apartment together in the big city after this #monsterdon
I wondered when he was going to use his atom breath, did the big G just forget he could do that? #monsterdon
Did the guy in the Godzilla suit get sick or something? Because there isn't a lot of Godzilla in this Godzilla movie.
As someone who works in robotics, I can tell you that it's a constant struggle dealing with robots programming themselves to be bigger.
gigantic cockroaches shouldn't sound like that
The robot gaining self-awareness and promptly going out on his own to fight Megalon is at least optimistic.
Jet Jaguar reprogrammed itself to survive and now has free-will. AI, ChatGPT could never.
Oh right, the robot can increase it's size, just like that
#monsterdon GIGAN IS IN THIS ONE TOO!??!
#monsterdon ARGH Alan Rickman just took a scale model jet fighter plane right to the face! Brutal. Megalon kicking over most of a small city is one thing, but close-up Home Alone style violence like that feels a bit weird amidst all the other improbable physical comedy.
Gojira has been inconvenienced by that mechanical humanoid, time to jump into the ocean and fuck off to Tokyo
we got late showa era godzilla when he kinda looked like cookie monster
Megalon riding that trail of destruction from the damn like a Brit on holiday in Spain
A lot of these stunts were also done in The Italian Job, and that two, in it's own way, had a monster π
#monsterdon Are all these rally-car shenanigans and pratfalls in tiny four-doors an homage to Herbie the Love Bug films or something..?
that red car looks like it had a longer nose and it got cut off.
I love how fun the Gay Dads cars all are
this greasy hair henchman is giving me Severus Snape vibes
Megalon, megalomaniac... no wonder the monster has a rocket dick on its forhead
WAIT!
Isla de Pascua is not uninhabited.
Is there any normal transport in this movie? #monsterdon
OMG all the water is gone... this movie is also about water wars?
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
We are being taught a weird geology lesson here
it's a Guillermo del Toro 9th rings of kaiju hell opening... or the flaming anus of monster. eithr way, it's creepy.
the Japanese title looks like confetti coming out of the explotions, LOL
I donβt always dress for #monsterdon but when I do, this is what I wear.
@ramsey like all Libertarians, they ran out of money and skulked back to their parents #monsterdon
@RamenCatholic I'll take it! #monsterdon
and that makes the alien merpeople get reinforcement kaiju to gain the 2-1 edge but then cookie monster godzilla shows up and the four of 'em fuck around for a while before Big G gets done with their shit and beats the crap out of 'em and the alien merpeople say "fuck the surface, we out" and nothing gets resolved but the budget?
tar czvf jet-jaguar.tar.gz big-jet-jaguar/