I think this is the longest #monsterdon I've ever seen.

#monsterdon You say final, shabby Steven Seagal, but I doubt you MEAN it. I mean, come now, we love war. We have the war on drugs, the war on crime, the war on wimpy toilet paper...

@blogdiva OMG the hair.

#Monsterdon

I don't understand the bit with the Leica.

Why did he give her it?

(And why does it not have a lens? )

#monsterdon

The least believable thing in this #Monsterdon so far is how Captain Gordo can understand Japanese perfectly but not speak a word of it, and everyone else in Japan can understand him perfectly but can't speak a word of English

Is Drill Stalin trying it on with Scientist Lady now?

#Monsterdon

"Were gonna go screw godzilla"

#Monsterdon

Isn't the plan always "we'll get Godzilla to kill the other monsters/ alien invaders" though?

Why bother locking him up in the first place, it's so ungrateful, ..it's true what they say about Humans.....

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Godzilla's not just some servant at your beck and call, fellas. He's a *manifestation of human hubris*

This guy just spelled out the entire plot in one short monologue.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon dudes always have trouble finding Area G.

Do we need this flashback? It's from the same movie! #monsterdon

condolances to temu stallin for having to figure out how to pronouce Xilian. #monsterdon

Yes: our last hope is the G spot

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

"Why didn't you kill me!"

Well, I can't say, it's only 2004. #Monsterdon

This is my head canon: Mila is Baby from the TV show Dinosaurs, as a teenager.

#Monsterdon

see, movie, riffing against gamera, meanwhile, gamera is built specifically to fight off space douches like these

that's what you get for your disrespect

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Kane Kosugi was (if I remember correctly) the first person to be an Ultraman, a Super Sentai (Power Ranger), and a Kamen Rider. Sadly he does not become a Godzilla in this movie.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

"Because we are team."

But what he really meant was "I love you."

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars #PrincessBride

Classic "Statue Of Liberty broken and one the ground like Planet of the Apes"

Oh no, the Godzuki subplot....

#Monsterdon

@SRLevine @MatthewTitus88 that would be epic.

#Monsterdon

Okay, so the still good twink wins that fight somehow, I guess like how he won his first fight. But the forces of evil are undeterred.

In their pumpkin spice latte colored fortress of evil, they announce "Gigan, Awaken!" and then we get a cut scene of a giant armored monster with razor arms awakening. Then they start releasing all the other monsters that they captured on earth, which they do via their pyramid spaceships.

#monsterdon

KEEP FIRING, ASSHOLES!

#monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

pew pew

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon This movie sings "I'm every movie" to the tune of "I'm every woman"..

The Scooby Doo gang, now with Stalin and Miss Scarlet pick a bank van for their getaway vehicle, but the twink with the suffocation fetish pursues them on a motorcycle and knocks the van over with bullets; I guess he's been mind controlled. Then the twink who he was fighting rides out of the back of the van on a motorcycle and they reprise their duel from before and somehow they're both strangling each other and then ramming motorcycles and backflipping at each other.

#monsterdon

Really surprised the motorcycles don't transform into robot suits around them and they do battle like that.....

Why are those two fighting btw?

Oh yes, all but one of the Mutants is now under the thrall of the aliens....so much going on!

#Monsterdon

Oh, right, back to the Kaiji part.

#Monsterdon

The Muntants have impressively rugged shoes

#Monsterdon

Does Godzilla get a motorcycle? I want to see that movie. #Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

now onto the senseless motorcycle phase of the film

#monsterdon

Anyway, we also saw THE MATRIX RELOADED, so

here's the part with motorcycles

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Righteous backhand! I bet his pickleball game is tight!

And now the movie has changed into a different kind of movie again.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

gosh i love this i have no idea what’s going on #MONSTERDON

Stewart *Copeland on the top hat

#Monsterdon

So after the secretary general is shot, the laughing goth shots his companion, who was maybe a robot or something, and some Planet X reinforcements teleport in, led by Japanese Goth David Bowie. By now the audience has just panicked and fled the room, which was a Smart Decision given the context.

#monsterdon

Oh, alien has remote tinitus transmission
#monsterdon

Then the Scooby Doo team breaks into the press conference with the body of an alien that they just killed (its human shaped but silver) and like "the game is up bro", then they shoot the secretary general, whose head breaks open revealing he is also an alien. Also all of this is being livestreamed to the entire world, which includes A) a gym with white people on treadmills and B) a living room or tavern in the middle east, where a child is carrying a goat.

#monsterdon

ahhh, the old "aliens come here to eat us" routine.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Got ourselves a Cronenberg... yay!

Now for the body horror portion of the film!

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

@jonny I have no explanation for most of it, but the drums are the product of Keith Emerson and I would be utilizing the fuck out of him if I were directing this amalgamation of amazement.

#Monsterdon

In the next room Silver Suit is getting read for a press conference with the alien goths and a lady brings him his dog in a backpack, who he doesn't remember but pretends to remember. Then the lady reveals that this was not the secretary general's dog but actually her dog. Then the goth alien laughs at this cunning ruse that has revealed their agent is an imposter.

#monsterdon

my sparse plastic armor with holes in it stopped the bullets
#monsterdon

No human would forget their dog...

#Monsterdon

doesthedogdie.com

#Monsterdon

aww, a little pug....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon We're gonna crush you like.. .. birds?

#monsterdon He's not an Earthling, that's Shabby Steven Seagal!

#Monsterdon 🦖🦁🐶🐉🐢🐸🦣🦅🐧🦔🦭🦞🦀🦑🐙🕷️😱

Hey aliens, maybe don't be so obvious with your plan explanations

#monsterdon I'm gonna poke my nose in every crack and slot in this organization! NOW BEND OVER FOR A SNIFFING! LOL.

Do those red nipple covers shoot lasers? #monsterdon

@cargot_robbie try https://miru.miyaku.media/ #monsterdon

Isn't it sweet that in Japanese Kaiju movies the UN matters?

#Monsterdon

Some violence happened and a guy attacked the Secretary General but was arrested (I think) and the main characters (I think? who is a main character in this? i have no idea now) analyze the blood from the Secretary General that was contained on a handy napkin and conclude that he is indeed an alien.

#monsterdon

"Stand easy."

I'm not sure this movie can relax that far. #Monsterdon

that guy could have been a proto-Luigi, but mutantboi saved the wrong guy

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

In the next 452 scenes we see some human reaction to the Planet X people showing up. There's a podcast round table where they wonder if they're actually from another planet.

In another scene, other characters are suspicious of the Secretary General and play some footage of him and discover that he doesn't blink. Then he visits their lab and they ask about his dog and he forgot he has a dog, proving he's an alien spy and also evil.

#monsterdon

Well you got your terrorist @jonny

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Shot in glare vision.

"Please excuse my friend who dresses like a nazi, he just wants attention...."

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🐉 🏢 💥 FINAL TRIVIA 🐲

Akira Takarada appeared in the first Godzilla when he was 19 - and in tonight's feature, released 50 years later. Look for him as Naotaro Daigo, Secretary-General of the United Nations.

Did Guy Fieri imply that scientists want to fuck the aliens

#Monsterdon

So of course the aliens look like humans but dressed in cybergoth fashion. They take three people, including the boss lab coat lady, but not the lab coat lady who gets to explain the Kaiju and explain their backstory.

They say that they come from Planet X and they're our friends, which makes the audience suspicious. They say a giant asteroid is going to hit earth and we have to shoot all our weapons at it to stop it.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Your chessboard tie proves you are a scientist.

Get everyone united. If a monster like Drump can't unite America, a dozen kaiju have no chance. #monsterdon

LOL I posted that about the UN, before the guy renamed HIMSELF X

#Monsterdon

Oh no he just turned Twitter into X

#Monsterdon

...Dude should've workshopped that title a little more. #Monsterdon

I love Angirus's tire squeal as he pulls an Akira slide.
#GodzillaFinaWars #Monsterdon

#monsterdon It happens a lot, Earth is kind of a magnet for oopsie-daisy bits and pieces from all over the place. Aaaand now we've got Armageddon, the movie. Someone see if they can spot Bruce Willis lol

Why does the male have boob plates? #monsterdon

extremely sus

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Hi, we just saved you from a problem we caused. We're here to help.

They're standing behind us, aren't they?

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Next time let's stick to watching one move for #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon it's col sanders

those better be mutant terrorists. then we would only need French mutants and robot mutants to complete the set #monsterdon

"Pls help, all my monsters gone"

#Monsterdon

In Japanese did he say something that made more sense than “Sorry, I’m a vegetarian” ? #monsterdon #GodzillaFinaWars

I don't understand why vegetarianism was brought into this?

#Monsterdon

LOL sure say it in English, as a bit

#Monsterdon

“Sorry, but I’m a vegetarian” was his finishing move line?

#Monsterdon

EDF! EDF! EDF!

Also, these guns feel like they're from Halo or UT2K4 or something.

#Monsterdon

Team, we're having crayfish tonight! #monsterdon

@SnoopJ Don't forget the romantic tension between the mutants

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon watch out for falling rocks

I didn't see who this guy was, but he's basically me right now. #monsterdon

like i’ve seen 15 minutes of this movie and it’s like the most unhinged kaiju movie ive ever seen #MONSTERDON

The rest of the planet has been wiped out.

We must now rely on the milsim airsoft cosplayers to rescue us.

#monsterdon

Anguirus is a cross between Sonic the Hedgehog and a R.O.U.S.

#Monsterdon

Oh here is the dance troupe

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦖🦁🐶🐉🐢🐸🦣🦅🐧🦔🦭🦞🦀🦑🐙🕷️😱

seriously each shot is pretty much one color

Can't keep up. Is Baragon in this yet? #Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

man, that chubby kid reminded men of the humans in Wall-E

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars

Can I kill Godzuki myself? Please. #Monsterdon

EVERY major city
EVERY stereotype
EVERY kaiju
EVERY explosion
#monsterdon

#monsterdon We had to destroy the city to save it..

Massive city destruction with our Collateral Damage Ray!

#Monsterdon #GodzillaFinalWars