@jivens safe and quiet #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 eggsy-weggsies

Just some old Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish, sir

#Monsterdon

I don’t think I’m going to make it another hour, but I've already got BINGO twice, so I’m good.

#Monsterdon

it takes more than two torpedoes to take out Godzilla, what have they done to our beautiful boy?

#Monsterdon

Utah's was a BB, not an SSN. I mean, I know I'm nitpicking silly things, but why not get those right?

#monsterdon

Oh my god! Not section five!!!1111
#monsterdon

so… #Godzilla1998 is having the baby blues after laying all their eggs?

#monsterdon

maybe that's the problem with this movie, it goes out of it's way to remind me of other, much better movies.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon THE NAVY WILL HELP. Sure they will. Come on boys, get to kneeling, whistle into the cloaca! It's the best you'll ever hope to do, little mammals in meat cigars.

@RobynGoodfellow Red October, Das Boot, and Crimson Tide. Cram 'em all in. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

(They're all Los Angeles class)

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Kind of do like how agile Godzilla is while swimming tho

#monsterdon

"Prepare to fire at Will

#Monsterdon

Godzilla impersonates an action hero

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 SUBMARINE FIGHT TIME

#monsterdon This is the point of the movie when all the human cast are merely snacks for the real hero of the movie. GOJIRA... Godzilla always wins. ALWAYS. And here, here we are so grateful that he decided to improve NYC by driving off the nasty infestation of bipedal mammals!

The difference is:

Return of the living dead: this is a horror comedy. the jokes are part of the nightmare. enjoy the ride, it's going to get dark

Godzilla 98: haha, isn't it weird that we made this movie? don't worry, we don't really mean it. please don't take this seriously. unless you want to? but also don't?

#monsterdon

Why is Audrey 1 wearing a beret now? Did I miss a story beat in there somewhere?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon They are sending such a mixed signal. Here, have lots of food, then we're going to hurt you. Come for dinner, aaaand stay for the PAIN! Godzilla is GenX, and this is just a really rainy riff on our childhoods. RAWR I'M GOJIRA!

#monsterdon

Did you find the eggs? Nope. Just this Ark of the Covenant.

#monsterdon Jean Reno does a passable Elvis. Wish he was the lead!

The kaiju saw its shadow, that means six more weeks of rain. #monsterdon

Reno is a professional Elvis impersonator #monsterdon

@Binder One where he's stalking other men? #monsterdon

I'd chuckle at the Elvis impression if I were still well disposed toward the film.

Alas.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

We still have ~1 hour left of this movie.
#Monsterdon #godzilla1998

I'd rather be watching an Elvis Presley movie right about now.

#monsterdon

Chewing bubblegum to make themselves look American had me cackling😂
#Monsterdon

The monster does _nothing_ in this movie. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

Oh the French Foreigner Jokes, ha ha, we do laugh

ha ha.

ha.

#Monsterdon

I'd like to speak to the manager. This is way too convoluted for #Monsterdon

Kinda hoping the Blonde get squished....

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ "this is all someone else's fault" - no one in a real godzilla movie ever

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ #monsterdon

Oui, c'est vrai!

@Lazarou

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OSS_117

#Monsterdon

Frenchy wants to cook some BIG omelettes
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🦖 🌇 🦶 😱

'hijack'? No, he 'kidnapped' you. One 'hijacks' a plane or a project. One 'kidnaps' a person.

Hey I know you… you’re Leon The Professional

You have a really problematic relationship with Natalie Portman!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

OMG, I forgot for minute that this is #Monsterdon Why am I trying to follow this "plot"?

#Monsterdon

Godzilla is wanted by Interpol. #Monsterdon

@Lazarou

This scene is in New Jersey

#Monsterdon

Reno: "Don't worry Mr. Nick. I'm french. and a professional." #monsterdon

The budget for this was $130 million. A great deal of that was not production related, but promotion. #monsterdon

@Configures I am 100% onboard for the silliness of the pregnancy test plot point. #monsterdon

Oh yep yeah sure, let's dismiss our only topic expert because he... failed to follow security procedure on which he was never trained. Yep cool good job, makes sense, the audience is with you on the path of this downward emotional arc you've laid out to lead into a dramatic victory in about three scene beats

it's like this is written for kindergartners

#monsterdon

oh noooo, not the romance 😒

#Monsterdon

So Godzilla is catching and collecting fish, sneaking it into the city, underground, while pregnant and undetected. #monsterdon #godzilla1998

you got snowden'd

#monsterdon

Doctor Tadpole Centropolis

#Monsterdon

The French are observing, looking for an opening to re-enter the plot. #Monsterdon

Hey beautiful, wanna come over for a cuppa tea?

#Monsterdon

Jurassic Park "Life finds a way": Check #monsterdon

So it's pregnant and it's preparing to feed its young. But we will keep calling it "him"?
#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe that is both a good plan but i would fear that they would use a domesticated godzilla for evil instead of good. #monsterdon

I would think this Scientist dude knows way too much about the Lizard and is maybe in league with the lizard....

#Monsterdon

"Laying eggs on it's own what??

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile: 🧅🧀🥐🍷🇨🇵

#Monsterdon

Reasonably sure, parthenogenesis(asexual reproduction) is a female thing. #Monsterdon

Expecting us to care about the careers of those who work in TV news, who cares if Audrey gets the big story, who cares if they get back together after 8 years....why can't it just be the French guys in this story?

#monsterdon

Curly decides to snoop around the secret army/science command center and finds the video of the Japanese fishing boat guy saying "Gojira!" "Gojira!" which is labelled "Top Secret"

On the other side of the snooping success scale, some army dudes are crawling through a sewer or tunnel or something and then a CGI lizard guy appears behind them that they did not notice.

#monsterdon

hahaha godzilla is so large that you can mistake it for not being there hahaha

#monsterdon

I wonder what Joe is doing now.

Did he ever get his fishing pole back?

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

@akamran They were in his van in that scene set in Ukraine, it's very creepy.

#Monsterdon

Remember everyone, leaving things labeled top secret lying around is totally fine. Might even help in the case of kaiju movies!
#monsterdon

@klu9 #monsterdon

in the movie "Wargames", a teacher asks Broderick's character that, and he answers "Your wife!"

#monsterdon right, I'm sure he travels with snapshots of the girl who left him flat, and displays them in his makeshift lab station in a tent 🙄

Also godzilla is pregnant. We learned this through a human pregnancy test purchased in a corner store.

#monsterdon

Holding onto an old flame for 8 years is a bit sad tbh, move on Scientist dude.

#Monsterdon

I'm beginning to think this film isn't going to pass the Bechdel test

#monsterdon #godzilla98

We learn that Curly and the Worm Scientist used to have a thing and then she left to be a journalist. And also both of them used to be anti-Nuke activists, but the scientist now works for a nuclear regulator agency so he can catalog more problems.

#monsterdon

@strangefour one of my only memories of the animated series is an episode where godzilla jr catches a cold and shoots huge snot missiles instead of the atomic breath and that resonates with me to this day as someone who has seasonal allergies
#monsterdon

NEW NEST YORK

#monsterdon

WAIT! Godzilla just humped a building?

#Godzilla1998 #monsterdon

OH MY GOD

CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE

*dies*

#monsterdon

Actually The Tick did an excellent sendup of this pharmacy scene

#monsterdon

OK, So this scene is dumb. The writers are dumb. The directors dumb. And the crew is dumb for running the scene as written.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

the love theme from GODZILLA (1998)

#monsterdon

I really do not care about this romantic subplot, who cares if they get together or not?

#Monsterdon

@Taweret #monsterdon

Plus, the soundtrack is off.

this is the movie where the army feeds helicopters to godzilla.

#monsterdon

oh godammit they switched back over to the romance plot again

#monsterdon

KOOSH.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

I'm in a vehicle with rotors that allow me to go higher, but I will flee between buildings rather than simply,,, going higher than the Will The Lizard can reach. I am very smart.

#monsterdon

I'm having trouble losing the giant lizard in my flying machine that can go in any direction. If only there were a direction I could go that might put me out of his reach! Oh well..... #monsterdon

theres a lot of stuff that was clearly meant to be funny

#monsterdon

They sure put the top of the Empite State Building back up quickly

#monsterdon

chomp #monsterdon #godzilla1998

Try flying up idiot
#monsterdon

Just go up?

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

BTW
it is a past time of us New Yorkers to see whether these movies are hsppening in the real #NYC or not.

#Godzilla1998 just Ghostbustered itself out of a fake manhole on a fake nyc street, to fall in love with Matthew Broderick. as if Matt were Donkey and they were Dragon.

so the question is, who is Shrek?

#Monsterdon

@trixter or very small twins #monsterdon

"Where'd he go?"

"He got bored and went to a better movie!"

#monsterdon

Echo 1 you've switched off your targeting computer, is everything alright?

#Monsterdon

A pair of sidewinders took out the upper part of that building. How big were those warheads?

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

The soldiers have a nice Moment of Awe watching CGI Godzilla eat his CGI fish pile, which the scientist takes another picture of. Then the top brass get mad that they're farting around and orders them to "fire at will", so they start shooting every gun ever at the Godzilla, which, like most Godzillas, cannot be felled by mere firearms.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon fire breath! Yay!

@chirpbirb I think the CGI is pretty great for 1998. #monsterdon #godzilla1998

Right, this godzilla has a silly number of points in dodge and the improved evasion feat

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

We blew the budget on Godzilla, can we just pipe in some music from Free Willy

"yeah sure"

#Monsterdon