something something tears in the rain.

#monsterdon

😭🦖💔

#Monsterdon

sad
#monsterdon

@paco a warriors death #Monsterdon

lol, keep thinking about that "American Dad" comment as Godzilla lies there, dying....

#Monsterdon

fakezilla

redeem yourself

with your last breath

eat matthew broderick

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

but... matthew ... I thought ... you ... loved ... meeeeeeeee

#monsterdon

Now kiss!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

I just want this film to die, it's 4:00 am here...

#Monsterdon

Because of mistakes we have driven our car into the mouth of a godzilla, but fortunately we can escape via the sacred power of dynamite.

#monsterdon

Wait, O'Neal. Is that a Stargate callback?

#monsterdon

And the day is saved thanks to electrical dentistry.
#Monsterdon #Gino

“This thing have high beams?”

Little trivia for ya… high beams used to be a luxury option only for the wealthy, or something.

#Monsterdon

ANd now we're ripping off BTTF?

#monsterdon

we're in his mouth!

tag your vore smh

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

"If we can sell Godzilla the Brooklyn Bridge, maybe she'll fuck off."

#Monsterdon

lol, the Brooklyn Bridge, the last landmark they haven't trashed...

#Monsterdon

@pngwen He is all of us

#Monsterdon

don't bother checking if the headlights still work, first, or anything like that

#Monsterdon

sure good they have a worm guy in this car

#monsterdon

we're doing a car chase now because we already had a helicopter chase, between 3-99 foot chases and a submarine chase.

#monsterdon

lol, name should have been "ARMAND TAMSARIAN"

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ audio engineer hit time and had to clock out

#monsterdon

And now the Dukes of Hazzard have joined the chase. Yee Haw!
#monsterdon

The label over the fighter pilot's shoulder said "THREE PHASE". I think even the set designers stopped taking this movie seriously. #monsterdon

New Yorkers deciding on the best transit route: check #monsterdon

#monsterdon Always the human way. The moment we scent our extinction we become ginormous dicks. Killing the rival and being smug about it. Makes climate change sting a little less.

It's definitely *noisier* than Time Walker

#Monsterdon

ah, Switchblade Starter trick

#monsterdon

I just can't even, another 20-25 minutes of this

#monsterdon

Denouement? Denoue-not!

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

Godzilla, Angry Dad.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Looks like Audrey got her man. Good. He deserves her.

I strongly believe Audrey shouldn't be forgiven so quickly by Nick. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 #Godzilla

Maybe if I jump away at the end of this movie it'll be like it didn't hurt me

#Monsterdon

"selecting LGB" fuck they made the missiles TERFS.

#monsterdon

@wohali #monsterdon

And Tom Cruise from Top Gun

oh please oh please

why did you have to rescue Broderick and the rest of this cast

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 I'm rooting for the F/A-18s

They are launching LGBT at MSG?
#Monsterdon #Gino

lol, the dinosaurs have formed a committee....

#Monsterdon

Mom's gonna be pissed

#Monsterdon

...those F-18s have Ace Combat levels of missiles

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I bet you'll never look at slapstick the same way again

#Monsterdon

What's a "Blockbuster?"

Is it like those radium clocks?

#Monsterdon

6 minutes to leave the building, and yet this movie continues for like 30.

#monsterdon

Oh god, the TV station is named for Independence Day

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon An Internet. LOVE THAT. AN. Just a bunch of them!!! One was enough to bring our world to this level of ABSOLUTE JOY. Lets imagine more!

oh

now _this_ is Pure Johnny Mnemonic

#monsterdon

"I, a scientist, am being chased by baby godzillas. fortunately they are polite enough to slow down enough for me to get into the elevator to escape them."

#monsterdon

Oh good, Scientist and Audrey have finally met up, truly one of Cinema's great romantic reunions...

#Monsterdon

It's usually a good sign when I check the runtime three times in twenty minutes, right? #Monsterdon

I love the baby eating the popcorn. X3 They're just hungy babies. :blobfoxpleading:
#Godzilla1998 #Godzilla #Monsterdon

@Taweret It does kind of remind me of the more typical #monsterdon movies where they have a general monster movie plot but also a side story with uninteresting characters doing some kind of vague drama that is overshadowed by this being a monster movie.

#monsterdon

LOCK THE MINIZILLAS IN THE FREEZER

wait, still wrong movie.

#monsterdon

So Audrey Griswold, in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation looks an awful lot like our Audrey here in Godzilla.
#monsterdon

The two characters who were eaten were named Jean-Phillipe and Jean-Pierre

Just, like

Put the script through _one_ editing pass? Don't just have your actors use your first draft??

#monsterdon

[crawling through air vent] Come out to the coast they said. We have a few Godzillas.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

How do you say "Game Over Man" in French? #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

@cinebox no I think he walked overland and left foot prints that they were investigating in the beginning of the movie. #monsterdon

Now that's just Aliens....

#Monsterdon

The phone number is 555-5555. Sure it is.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

oh no.

I just realized this is like if you had a LLM to make a movie that referenced all these movies...

well, okay, better than that in execution

#monsterdon

Firehouse used unconventionally....Die Hard

#Monsterdon

Missed chance to make a cigarette joke with the "they go after fish" stuff.

#monsterdon

And all the baby godzilla's is where it gets a bit silly. #monsterdon

Having determined that their presence brings ill tidings and bad vibes, the baby Godzillas decide they would like to eat the journalists and the french dudes trying to explode them, so the puny mammals run away.

#monsterdon

So the French dudes go to explode the eggs, but they don't have enough explosives. Then fortunately for Godzilla-kind, the eggs start hatching and we get cool little dinosaur puppets breaking out of their eggs.

Being a man of culture, the cameraman starts taking pictures while Curly wants to run away because she's surrounded by (Jurassic Park style) velociraptor things.

#monsterdon

Precocious little dickenses, ain't they?

#Monsterdon

The practical effect puppet heads looked good. Too bad they had to start running

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

eat the Blonde....

#Monsterdon

Look at the baby Gorn (Strange New Worlds edition).

#Monsterdon

Obligate omelettevore

#Monsterdon

SON OF GODZILLA

#monsterdon

lol, now it's the TV series 'Dinosaurs'

#Monsterdon

You're gonna need a bigger frying pan

#Monsterdon

Madison Square Garden is a thing New York has that I assume New Yorkers find very important. I assume that it's like Chicago's "bean", but with a stage in it.

In this movie, transmasc godzilla is laying eggs in it. Good for him.

#monsterdon

More like Goddesszilla amirite

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ at least 3 times

#monsterdon

Summary of "lure godzilla into a trap with a giant fish pile plan, part II, electric boogalloo"

* godziilla ate more of our fish
* we shot godzilla with a million guns and also like 50 helicopters, to no effect
* godzilla got away and went for a nice swim
* we tried to shoot a swimming godzilla with submarines, so the navy had something to do in this film
* oh fuck we sunk our own submarine somehow
* but we think the submarines got godzilla, but oh no we are wrong!

#monsterdon

the effects are fine

everything is shot fine

technically competent filmmaking in service of nothing

#monsterdon

@jivens safe and quiet #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 eggsy-weggsies

Just some old Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish, sir

#Monsterdon

I don’t think I’m going to make it another hour, but I've already got BINGO twice, so I’m good.

#Monsterdon

it takes more than two torpedoes to take out Godzilla, what have they done to our beautiful boy?

#Monsterdon

Godzilla: 1

Submarine: 𝟬

#monsterdon

Utah's was a BB, not an SSN. I mean, I know I'm nitpicking silly things, but why not get those right?

#monsterdon

Oh my god! Not section five!!!1111
#monsterdon

so… #Godzilla1998 is having the baby blues after laying all their eggs?

#monsterdon

maybe that's the problem with this movie, it goes out of it's way to remind me of other, much better movies.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon THE NAVY WILL HELP. Sure they will. Come on boys, get to kneeling, whistle into the cloaca! It's the best you'll ever hope to do, little mammals in meat cigars.

@RobynGoodfellow Red October, Das Boot, and Crimson Tide. Cram 'em all in. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

(They're all Los Angeles class)

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Kind of do like how agile Godzilla is while swimming tho

#monsterdon

"Prepare to fire at Will

#Monsterdon

Godzilla impersonates an action hero

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 SUBMARINE FIGHT TIME

#monsterdon This is the point of the movie when all the human cast are merely snacks for the real hero of the movie. GOJIRA... Godzilla always wins. ALWAYS. And here, here we are so grateful that he decided to improve NYC by driving off the nasty infestation of bipedal mammals!

The difference is:

Return of the living dead: this is a horror comedy. the jokes are part of the nightmare. enjoy the ride, it's going to get dark

Godzilla 98: haha, isn't it weird that we made this movie? don't worry, we don't really mean it. please don't take this seriously. unless you want to? but also don't?

#monsterdon