Poochy ain't stupid #monsterdon

The Monster is on the screen and I’m so bored that I’m watching something else on another screen #Monsterdon

I bet Godzilla has some STIMNKY breath! :ms_sick: #Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

Fish me once, shame on you. Fish me twice ... won't be fished again!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla

#Monsterdon

Okay. I gotta say this.

If web search serves me right...

...iguanas are generally herbivores. They like fruit and flowers.

And I can bet you that a couple of tons of assorted fruit and flowers would be way cheaper and have less mercury.

#monsterdon I wonder what the masers are doing right now.

How do you know his name is Will?

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon "Wait until he enters the park ... or makes a funny noise."

How can a Godzilla movie be this boring?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

At least we are watching GZ now..

I think Godzilla is purring #Monsterdon

look parthenax, stop breathing on me

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

Tonight's #Monsterdon chatter got me thinking of "Monarch: Legacy of Monsters".

Season 2 starts February 27.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarch%3A_Legacy_of_Monsters

it's not even godzilla it's just a weird t-rex

#monsterdon

🦖❤️

#Monsterdon

See, that's a cute Godzilla! Shame he's in such a bad movie. #Monsterdon

It's like I get it, you want to make it look big, particularly since it's so small against the buildings, but

it's not working, it just feels fakey in the wrong ways

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

I think this movie needed some Lance Henriksen.

#monsterdon

if fish trap is so good why is there no #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Now it's looking more iguana. (I think some species of iguana burrow.)

Not sure how this isn't destabilizing the entire NYC CBD but okay.

@Ayyyydrew

Yes.

#Monsterdon

"Section 5? But that reading can't be right. They'd be right on us if they were in section 5!"

#Monsterdon

@amsomniac calling the projector a boring machine, is the dad joke, I wish I had come up with! #monsterdon

#monsterdon people who are keeping up with the comments, isn't it nuts that we're _already_ a little over halfway through this one? :not_sure_if_parrot:

Every time she calls him “Animal,” as if it’s a serious name, I lose just a little bit of respect for the film. Right now, we’re in the negative respects.

#Monsterdon

So, Manhattan is more porous than a Minecraft planet. Gotcha.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

can't tell if NYC subway tunnels are fucking massive, godzilla is constantly changing size to fit, or it has some magic way to dig all this shit up without disturbing the streets above

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Can we just switch to Raiders of the Lost Ark now? Please...

I think there are more shots of things shaking in this then there are shots of the actual creature. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

honestly it feels like they spend _too_ much time close to the zilla.

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

did the iguana get mutated or did it go through the Fly machine with a Windows 95 screensaver

#monsterdon

@Taweret This movie could use Trash. #Monsterdon

@moira @wohali

I preferred King Creole vs Mothra

#Monsterdon

OH YEAH #monsterdon

Now imagine that, but with the Kool Aid man "OH YEAH"
#monsterdon

return of the living dead is one of my favorite movies of all time and it has hilarious comedy and genuine scares because it commits hard to what it is

it doesn't apologize

#monsterdon

So what happens to all the tunneling spoil when Godzilla digs through the earth? He's leaving giant holes, but no giant piles of spoil or tailings

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

We'bev got moles!!! And they're really big!

#monsterdon

There's still an hour left in this. Have you no mercy, movie? It's time to show kaiju until the credit scroll. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

move over boring machine #Monsterdon

@wohali@timeloop.cafe Now that you mention it, this is the first time I've ever wanted some alcohol.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Heeeeere's GOJI!! #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

uuh, yeah, I'm going to need a stronger drink to get through this movie 🍻 #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

I can't tell what's happening but it sure is obliquely menacing. #Monsterdon

@akamran With a store bought test? Ok.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

I feel like I have been severely misled as to the navigability of New York's sewers and/or subway system on foot, because of Hollywood.

Thank god they made sure to have the characters explicitly state what they were doing every time they moved! >_> #Monsterdon

I think we could improve this movie with editing.
Editing Elvis Presley into the Giant Gila Monster and throwing this movie away.
#Monsterdon #Gino

#monsterdon lol Jean Reno just told Matthew Broderick his name was Agent Philippe Roche (like, "rosh")

Good for you Jean Reno, this plot doesn't deserve the respect of keeping Roaché going

I love that the French dude's American accent is just an Elvis Presley impression. Lolololol #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 #Godzilla

I'm loving these french guys😂
#Monsterdon

@Taweret I’m operating on the theory that Roland has never seen a Godzilla movie or heard a joke.

#Monsterdon

fibsh #Monsterdon

thank you very much. 🕺

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

Oh that was an Elvis impression, good. I thought he was having a stroke. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon There are rats, and ALLIGATORS. And if we're very lucky, Audrey will drown very soon…

#Monsterdon

Okay, I do not understand New York's layout and this is a problem because too many films are set in New York.

I know there are bridges to Manhattan which is an island, but uhhh... that's it.

The french do love their fuckin' Elvis.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Someone irradiate the rats. Giant NYC rats vs Godzilla? No contest!

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe at least it ain't a Bruckheimer/Bay! I guess. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Animal is going after the lizard nest. This is a nature documentary.

#monsterdon

Godzilla really knows how to hide.

he is NOT ugly #Monsterdon

Gosh, this movie really drags huh?
#monsterdon #godzilla1998

So uh I guess by the continued use of "he" to refer to the godzilla, they didn't ask them what their preferred pronouns are. #monsterdon

@paco @amyfou Lucy was right! #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998 Also, I love the gum-chewing American-impersonating French agents!

It's so the grenades don't blow out their eardrums? #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#monsterdon the Elvis impression was funny. Not a huge fan of this particular incarnation but I WILL give credit where it's due.

Juicy Fruit product placement: check #monsterdon

A frenchman would know way more, on average, about driving a manual transmission than an american would

So that joke was incredibly dumb.

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

#Monsterdon

I... feel like Animal is not really understanding the situation and really just wanted someone to come with him?

("It makes us look more American" and I guess by 1998, smoking does... not.)

“It’ll be fun.” #Monsterdon

(see, the thing is, i'm pretty sure the only other thing i've really seen Hank Azaria in is Birdcage, so like, this is amazing.)

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne not Jay Leno? #monsterdon

Juicy Fruit is part of the uniform.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Wait? That guy is named "Animal"?

3 backwards caps so far

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

What kind of relationship does Animal have w/ Lucy that he sneaks out the window? This movie wanted to be a miniseries.

#Monsterdon

I love this guy's accent! #monsterdon #Gozilla1998 #WrongGodzilla 🦖🦎

"Can't let Lucy know - she'll hurt me" is the first line hat was supposed to be funny _and_ actually made me chuckle.

#monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

PART 2: RETURN TO NEW YORK (1998)

#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIAZILLA 🏙️💥🦖

In Hollywood, cars are tossed upward using a device known as a "thumper". Sixteen were used to toss cars for Godzilla's street scene in tonight's feature.

#Godzilla1998

@amyfou #monsterdon

#monsterdon

150 million dollars. You can really see it on the screen, can't ya?

"There are no eggs in the city."

Sure, Voldermort isn't back either.

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1989

Animal should really be the main character. He's kinda the most likeable character.
#Monsterdon #Gino

Are we still calling the cameraman “Animal?”

#Monsterdon

"I kind of followed him"

You, sir, are a creeper.
#Monsterdon

Really, she’s a horrible actor.

#Monsterdon

"there are no egg"

:blobfoxsad:❓🥚

#Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon

This #Monsterdon :

"We need to make a Godzilla movie but 'MURICA HECK YEAH but also make it be like Jurassic Park instead because EPIC SUSPENSEFUL ACTION and since the USSR fell apart we can't have commies but make them EVIL FRENCH because French accents are funny and get Broderick to lead because Beuller is COOL and cast Simpsons guys in it cuz they are FUNNY and we'll have something for EVERYONE"

They'd be more goji in this film if they just used a damn suit.

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

New York Strong: check #monsterdon

"What have I done, Animal? What have I become?"

"I don't know, Miss Piggy..."

:animal: :misspiggy:

#monsterdon

This sub plot could have been an email. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

@SnoopJ A Castle-Bravo sized insult. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

and you CAN do comedy in a monster movie. Tremors is hilarious AND tense. The Host has jokes AND genuine scares

but those movies earned their jokes and the humor comes from character or situation, not from undercutting the premise

#monsterdon

BEEPERS

BABY

<mixalot riff begins>

#monsterdon #Godzilla1998

"what's the cool line from this movie that the teens are going to repeat ad nauseum?"
"'I always wanted to join the French foreign legion.'"

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Unlikely. But you know what, it's fine. The FRENCH. But... there isn't enough butter... ;)