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I... feel like Animal is not really understanding the situation and really just wanted someone to come with him?
("It makes us look more American" and I guess by 1998, smoking does... not.)
βItβll be fun.β #Monsterdon
(see, the thing is, i'm pretty sure the only other thing i've really seen Hank Azaria in is Birdcage, so like, this is amazing.)
@JoeWynne not Jay Leno? #monsterdon
Juicy Fruit is part of the uniform.
#monsterdon Wait? That guy is named "Animal"?
3 backwards caps so far
What kind of relationship does Animal have w/ Lucy that he sneaks out the window? This movie wanted to be a miniseries.
I love this guy's accent! #monsterdon #Gozilla1998 #WrongGodzilla π¦π¦
"Can't let Lucy know - she'll hurt me" is the first line hat was supposed to be funny _and_ actually made me chuckle.
PART 2: RETURN TO NEW YORK (1998)
π¦#MONSTERDON ποΈ
βοΈ TRIVIAZILLA ποΈπ₯π¦
In Hollywood, cars are tossed upward using a device known as a "thumper". Sixteen were used to toss cars for Godzilla's street scene in tonight's feature.
150 million dollars. You can really see it on the screen, can't ya?
Animal should really be the main character. He's kinda the most likeable character.
#Monsterdon #Gino
Are we still calling the cameraman βAnimal?β
"I kind of followed him"
You, sir, are a creeper.
#Monsterdon
Really, sheβs a horrible actor.
This #Monsterdon :
"We need to make a Godzilla movie but 'MURICA HECK YEAH but also make it be like Jurassic Park instead because EPIC SUSPENSEFUL ACTION and since the USSR fell apart we can't have commies but make them EVIL FRENCH because French accents are funny and get Broderick to lead because Beuller is COOL and cast Simpsons guys in it cuz they are FUNNY and we'll have something for EVERYONE"
They'd be more goji in this film if they just used a damn suit.
New York Strong: check #monsterdon
"What have I done, Animal? What have I become?"
"I don't know, Miss Piggy..."
:animal: :misspiggy:
This sub plot could have been an email. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO
@SnoopJ A Castle-Bravo sized insult. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998
and you CAN do comedy in a monster movie. Tremors is hilarious AND tense. The Host has jokes AND genuine scares
but those movies earned their jokes and the humor comes from character or situation, not from undercutting the premise
"what's the cool line from this movie that the teens are going to repeat ad nauseum?"
"'I always wanted to join the French foreign legion.'"
#monsterdon Unlikely. But you know what, it's fine. The FRENCH. But... there isn't enough butter... ;)
so many beepers #godzilla1998 #monsterdon
i think there's an argument that this would be substantially improved if broderick were just outright playing ferris bueller in it.
@davesdogmaggie @kshernandez he used _blood_. mixed with dirt and who knows what the fuck else, the false positive matrix is off the charts
one hour to go...
#Monsterdon I needed a subtitle
Laughs in French
Oui #Monsterdon
No one expects the French Foreign Legion
#Monsterdon
@peterries He's the French Connection! #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998
I can tell the French secret service have solid tradecraft by the way the outrageously conspicuous camera guy spies casually on them. #Monsterdon
So the French are going to secretly kill the 20 story tall creature demolishing one of the most famous cites on earth. Sure.. that scans. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO
*Tosses a map on the table* Ahhhhhhhh the French!! #Godzilla1998 #Godzilla #Monsterdon
@Taweret Cloverfield did it better. And shorter if I remember right.
#Monsterdon #Gino
Suuuuuure...
(I'm pretty sure it took until, like, the 2000s for any of the communities affected by nuclear testing to even have it be acknowledged that anything happened to them at all. Mostly because liability.)
We're not going to the airport. We're going to the scene of your murder. #monsterdon
shifting the blame for the nuclear testing onto the French is perhaps the biggest insult to everything that the Godzilla franchise represents
@kshernandez Thatβs a choice.
#Monsterdon π¦ π π¦Ά π±
so we're supposed to believe that the *french* are the ones who did nuclear tests that left a bunch of pollution etc?
The french.
Because after the Suez Canal thing, the French decided to structure their affairs so that they could not be instantly deflated by the Americans. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998
#monsterdon βYour military is pretty much built of knuckle-draggers, so it's not ever going to work. We let them make a mess of things, and then we actually fix it.β
Oh Ferris Bueller, always getting lucky.
#Monsterdon
Agent RoachΓ© is just an unusually French shobijin, if you think about it
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998
"How did you get all these guns and stuff?"
Reno: "I'm a profess-" *someone shoots me* #monsterdon
What Broderick and Reno SHOULD do is go find Professor Langdon because this movie needs Hanks.
Vive Le France!
"I'm afraid I can't do that" - til you serve me some cafe zat eez actually not merde tu fuckeah
"Why aren't you people working WITH the military"
Do you LISTEN to yourself??? #Monsterdon
We know why the French secret service isn't working with the US military. @Taweret covered that with the Suez Crisis discussion earlier this week.
[wants to contradict.....then nods reluctantly.]
"...why do you want to find the nest?"
"Omelettes. I am going to make the most amazing omelettes."
#Monsterdon, why is this giving very strong Little Shop of Horrors vibes?
Oh no! Missed the start of Godzilla 98.
Iβm putting on that weird Puff Daddy / Jimmy Page / Tom Morello version of Kashmir.
#Monsterdon
Wow she came out to New York? Like the whole city at the same time?
#monsterdon
#Monsterdon I like that bossman spy that does his own taxi driving kidnapping even after being malnourished from that terrible coffee and non-croissant!
The French want to weaponize Godzilla. #Monsterdon
π¦#MONSTERDON ποΈ
βοΈ TRIVIAZILLA ποΈπ₯π¦
Weird Bottles
All Anheuser-Busch beer bottles were digitally "erased" because a promotional deal was cancelled late in filming.
This French guy ALSO loves Godzilla. #Monsterdon
#monsterdon You know what this movie needs? More characters and subplots.
More characters means more quality!!!
I think the thing is this movie was written by people who thought everyone watching it would be stupid, so they had to make sure characters just said exactly what they were feeling while explicitly re-stating every plot point in very clear terms. #Monsterdon
I forgot about the French guy kidnapping our biologist guy. #Godzilla #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon
Unfortunately Jean Reno is keeping Broderick in this movie, so I gotta hate him.
#Monsterdon #Gino
"Sounds big. What is your policy on worms?"
DJAC: da jfrench asecret cervice
the "jokes" are the movie's way of saying "please don't judge us for making a Godzilla movie" which
then why did you make a Godzilla movie??
Terrible characters. Just awful.
It would be so funny if the driver peeked his head back and it was Godzilla
#Monsterdon
Yeaaah, yeaaah, you're that insurance guy, yeah
(suddenly sounding like a 20s gangster)
@sean When the CGI effects improve. #Monsterdon #Godzilla1998
Oh it's Doctor Insurance #Monsterdon
ah yes, thrill! to the shots of people driving through the rain!
Oh to be kidnapped by 90s era Jean Reno. *swoon*
#Monsterdon #Gino
π¦#MONSTERDON ποΈ
βοΈ TRIVIAZILLA ποΈπ₯π¦
1998: The year The Chrysler Building was destroyed twice, in
Godzilla and in
Armageddon
@davesdogmaggie I believe he used poo... #monsterdon #Gozilla1998 #WrongGodzilla π¦π¦
Audrey sucks, like, she's relatable, but she manipulated our boy and then betrayed his trust. Even if her story had really been her own and not robbed by sexual harrasser McGee it still would be fucked. #Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon #Godzilla
Why is the cameraman now a cabdriver #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon so is he still taking his stalker shrine with him after that betrayal!?
#monsterdon "What is this, the Virgin Lizard?"
HAHAHAHA GOOD ONE BOSS THAT'S A GOOD ONE YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST MAYOR
This is why you never get into the first cab that stops
The stolen tapes betrayal subplot is all anybody ever remembers from this film
worse, the romance is between Broderick and his worms....
watch Hank Azaria pit maneuver a NY cabbie, coming up
i mean, there's a long list of things people never should have done in this movie, honestly stealing top secret tapes was at least ballsy.
Yeah, how DARE you reveal to the public information that might save lives but which the military is suppressing because they don't wanna look stupid! I thought you were a REPORTER! #Monsterdon
you know when you miss your ex so you leak classified military information
lol, the music is really overplaying this drama, jfc....
She's horrible. He's pathetic. Our main characters everybody!
#Monsterdon #Gino
The strings
section is deeply invested in this relationship #Monsterdon