oh wow, 12 whole dump trucks

#Monsterdon

Thinking all that gigantic technology they have in this room could fit onto a laptop now.

#Monsterdon

In a way, this whole movie is a French roast, Jean. #Monsterdon

...how many AH-64s does the military have? (Or er whatever those are)

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Godzilla bait is what we need
#monsterdon

HAHA, TUNNELS

GOTEM

#monsterdon

The mayor is really upset that they're going to have to close the beaches in the middle of summer. Won't you think of his reelection? #monsterdon

Oh right, we're supposed to know that these characters are French and villainous because they are smoking terrible cigarettes and expressing disdain about American pastries

ha ha ha hilarious

moar giant lizard plz

#monsterdon

@bunnyhero don't know about getting worse, buy it doesn't get any beyyer/smarter. #monsterdon

Anyway, at this point the premise of the movie is set up, a giant dinosaur is attacking Manhattan because it likes islands I guess and it traveled around the world to Manhattan because manhattan is the most island-like of islands I guess.

Anyway, we're evacuating Manhattan now, which sounds very hard. This has caused Mayor Not-Mamdani to start eating candy which he isn't supposed to do because he's on a pre-election diet.

#monsterdon

the French UPS has a smoking truck, got it

#monsterdon

honestly when i first watched this movie i was still giving it a chance at this point in the film. so yes, it gets worse lol

#monsterdon

oh wow I am enjoying caring so much about these characters, yes, movie makers, thanks, good job, more of this please

#monsterdon

Lo, Audrey and Nick
A monster flits between them
Choppers everywhere

#Godzilla1998 #Monsterdon #MonsterdonHaiku

new york dork politician who likes his sweet treats

times never change

#Monsterdon

First we take Manhattan?

(They sentenced me to 2.5 hours of boredom)

#Monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

"worst act of destruction since the world trade center bombing" take a vastly different meaning 3 years after this movie came out...

#Monsterdon

This movie would not have been made like this even a few years later #Monsterdon

"Since the World Trade Centre Bombing..." 😬

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon A loving shot of the WTC. Awwww

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ TRIVIAZILLA 🏙️💥🦖

⏳ 30 MINUTE POLL

The prominent chin structure of Godzilla in tonight's feature was inspired by which of the following?

#Godzilla1998

@Configures lol, thinking about Gremlins II now.... #Monsterdon

#monsterdon isn't a caiman a kind of alligator/crocodile thing?

#monsterdon I feel like they're doing "Action comedy" exactly backwards. The scenes that need jokes are played completely straight, but the scenes that should be serious are a series of irritating "funny" characters.

just up and evaporated, lost the dang monster!

#monsterdon

"evacuate Manhattan, has that been done before?"

surprisingly often in Cinema

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Of course no monster would destroy Jersey. It’s... JERSEY. Even a monster has *STANDARDS*

This movie has more rain than a batman movie. #monsterdon

Nick Tatopolous! He's the romantic subplotalous! #Monsterdon

The government of the State of New York wishes to remind viewers not to eat anything that comes out of the east river. Ever. #monsterdon

We get a manhattan interlude where Curly is telling her friends that her boss is a creep, which the audience already knew.

Then we get an extended scene where a guy went fishing and then caught a godzilla while rips up the dock he's sitting on as it approaches. Then the Godzilla disembarks and throws boats and cars everywhere.

#monsterdon

now make me some sexy Godzilla legs.

#monsterdon

I like how they do the traffic bouncing, the SFX folks should be pleased with that.

#Monsterdon

This effect is also cool, with all the cars bumping in unison. I imagine each car has a little bumper underneath it, but I wonder how they directed the extras to synchronize that.

#Monsterdon

oh this was the trailer!

convenient they ran it in the same sequence.

#monsterdon

In 1998 the mayor was Rudy Giuliani. I wonder what he was doing 22 years later?

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

But why is Godzilla attacking New York when he's a Pacific creature?

#Monsterdon

@flowerpot Japanese godzilla hates trains, US godzilla hates cars. I guess it fits.

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

lol, the cgi off the old man on the pier.....they were just learning to walk, weren't they?

#Monsterdon

In an army airplane conference, we learn about our recent toy boat destruction. The girl scientist says the culprit is a "Thereopoda Allosaurus" which is probably not the right scientific name of an Allosaurus, even if it was a theropod. Then the boy scientist explains that the radiation has made it big, like the worms he was studying. Then he says that it is "The First of a New Species!" allowing this movie to have sequels if it made more money. #monsterdon

I really do not care about this romance story being forced on us...

#Monsterdon

Some snippets from Roger Ebert's review:

Going to see “Godzilla” at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter’s Basilica.

One must carefully repress intelligent thought while watching such a film.

Oh, and then there are New York’s Mayor Ebert (gamely played by Michael Lerner) and his adviser, Gene (Lorry Goldman). The mayor of course makes every possible wrong decision (he is against evacuating Manhattan, etc.), and the adviser eventually gives thumbs-down to his reelection campaign. These characters are a reaction by Emmerich and Devlin to negative Siskel and Ebert reviews of their earlier movies (“Stargate,” “Independence Day“), but they let us off lightly; I fully expected to be squished like a bug by Godzilla. Now that I’ve inspired a character in a Godzilla movie, all I really still desire is for several Ingmar Bergman characters to sit in a circle and read my reviews to one another in hushed tones.

And here's the Siskel & Ebert video if you want some more.

#Monsterdon

but why swim all the way around the Earth and go for New York?

Loving the 90s hair

#Monsterdon

"What about the radiation? The radiation isn't an anomaly, it's the clue."

(That's... that's what clues usually are. Just for the record.)

#monsterdon

The next sometime, some fishing boats are floating around at night, then a Godzilla attacks them and knocks them over. While this interlude seems pointless so far, it adds more boats to the movie, so I am forced to regard it approvingly.

#monsterdon

this is actually going at a good clip, not quite half an hour in

so

where *does* the plot get lost?

#monsterdon

MASTS DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm sorry, when I said "Abandon ship", I meant launch the lifeboat, not just jump into the ocean.

@Violinknitter For once, I did participate in the #Monsterdon poll for this week. So, this is partly my fault.

Edit did/do

( waiting for "gonna need a bigger boat" moment )

#monsterdon

You can tell it's a late-90s disaster film because it bounces around the planet like a UFO on cocaine. #Monsterdon

My favorite part is when Will Smith punches Godzilla. #Monsterdon #Godzilla98 #GINO

I guess because we realized that Godzilla movies are supposed to have journalists in them, we then cut to New York where we meet another character, "Curly", who is a journalist and a girl, and her boss, Mr. Sexual Harassment, who attempts to trade Curly career favors for a date, but she refuses.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon every Roland Emmerich film has a sneezing guy in it c.f. Stargate

also these "Greek names are hard" jokes need to stop and dropolis

...her curly hair is just implausibly bouncy for the amount of rain through which she supposedly walked to get into that office.

#monsterdon

More like Goon-zilla amirite?

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

The horny ginger boss lady has been in loads of things..

That man's nose hygiene sickens me and I think is a plot point

#Monsterdon

ohhoho, The French Tapes are in!

#monsterdon

"you know what that means?!"
"no but I've got a feeling I'm about to find out"

US military type has met autistics before I see

#monsterdon

The palentology bit, and [redacted] later on makes me wonder if there was a bit of inspiration from Jurassic Park

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Next we see some Russians interviewing an old Japanese guy in a low budget hospital and the dude asks him what he says and he answers "Gojira!" an answer that doesn't make sense unless the reality of Godzilla (1998) also includes the existing Gojira movies.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon It was a footprint. He's slow, but Matthew is adorable so we won't beg for him to die, just yet.

The big footprint is in fact fun

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Anyway a helicopter lands and some Russian soldiers run past the wormy guy. A US state department dude tells the scientist that his work is over because the government needs him for um... something.

#monsterdon

There have been so many title cards about where things are that I don't know where anything is

#monsterdon

So are Godzillas' 'fact' in this timeline?

#Monsterdon

Well, if he's that radioactive then it's a good thing no one is wearing protective gear

#Monsterdon

@klu9 aww, the ginger fuzz! #MOnsterdon

H.R. Geiger-counter

#monsterdon #godzilla1998

It's that guy who always plays a serious Government dude

#Monsterdon

Seeing as its 6 minutes in and we already got one godzilla attack, at least this movie is fucking around too much so far.

#monsterdon

So next we got a Japanese freighter or oil tanker or something going through a storm. And then its freighter sonar detects a Large Ominous Object approaching and everything shakes. We get to see the crew run around and panic, fun times!

Then a giant claw breaks through the side of the freighter and a tail knocks it over.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe for a moment I thought about Godzilla crossed with a Dril Monkey...

#Monsterdon

MONSTER CHOMP

Godzilla: 1

Japanese fishing boat equipped with what sounds like an air raid siren for whatever reason: zarroo

#monsterdon

There's a blinky thing on the beepy thing! Oh noes!!! #monsterdon

This movie kicks off with a fake old timey film strip of nuclear tests that are attentively watched by an audience of (normal-sized) lizards.

If I was a nuclear tester I would love it if my bomb tests had an adoring audience of small reptiles.

#monsterdon

It's a Godzilla film, of course it starts with a boat. #Monsterdon

14

13

12

11

10

...

(we all know that French countdowns are the most sinister of countdowns, of course)

#monsterdon

egg

#monsterdon

Test shot Baker footage!

#Monsterdon #Godzilla1998

Not sure if I'll be able to pay enough enough attention without having to juggle multiple devices and/or moving windows around to post. Might be too boring for me. Also I've hit the very last climax of the book I'm reading...

#Monsterdon

Ooh, tonight’s film is on Netflix w/o (I assume) commercials

#Monsterdon #FakeZilla #Godzilla1998

It was none other than the treacherous French that unleashed a giant, mutated lizard on our great city of New York.

#Monsterdon

Got home from grabbing Indian food right in time #monsterdon

still feel dazed from prev movie... may never find out what happens to Daigoro-kun...

#monsterdon #WrongGodzilla

#Monsterdon

I did watch the movie but then said nothing.

I feel meh about it.

i always feel like I missed out when I see the #Monsterdon tags and realize I forgot again, but tonight I'm glad to have. US Godzilla 1998 is a real stinker, and not fun.

Oh this yard full of robots and failed inventions isn't upsetting at all.
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath

cant they like, go fishing for his food?

#monsterdon #WrongGodzilla

@Terencio

More like gooseberry (US: 3rd wheel)

#Monsterdon

@strangefour #monsterdon #WrongGodzilla

Maybe she was really into Winger.

finished watching Godzilla 🌕🌗🌑🌑🌑
Long, limp facsimile of a Godzilla movie ripping off also Jurassic Park, Aliens etc while including as much corporate promotion as possible. Broderick, in particular, underwhelms.

Godzilla 98 is the Woodstock '99 of monster movies.

Watched in #Monsterdon watch party on Mastodon.

#NeoDB

@Terencio

EdgarWinterZilla

#Monsterdon

Looks like a hippo cat. Sounds like a dog walrus with digestive trouble
#Monsterdon

godzilla (1998) was never screen-tested before release. they literally didn't have time.

https://www.deseret.com/1998/9/14/19401372/godzilla-team-admits-lizard-flick-was-turkey/

#monsterdon

"Go easy on him! He just finished watching Emmerich's Godzilla!"

#monsterdon #WrongGodzilla

Is this Miyazaki's "The Wind Rises"?

#monsterdon #WrongGodzilla

Daigoro's finna start eating humans instead!

#monsterdon #WrongGodzilla

Diagoro vs Goliath is maybe the result of trying to salvage an unmade Godzilla movie script. maybe?
https://wikizilla.org/wiki/Godzilla_vs._Red_Moon
#Monsterdon #DaigorovsGoliath

Another #Simpsons voice actor in this movie. Frank Welker was credited for creature vocals.

#Monsterdon