just the gif

#monsterdon

me browsing fedi:

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oh man, Gargoyles came out in 1972. the first Alien movie was 1979. now we know what kinda movie Ridley Scott likes to steal from. those eggs are totally in Alien.

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#monsterdon ...I have questions about the aerodynamics in this scene...

OH MY GOD IS THAT THE END!?!? The gargoyle and gargoylette just fucked off into the s̶e̶a̶ sky and we roll credits?!

Wow. Dang. That sure was a thing that just happened.

Thank you, @Taweret@octodon.social! Thank you for the bingo card, @cheribaker!

who did it better, Lil Nas X or King Gargoyle

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#monsterdon Anyway, that finishes the Gargoyle movie. It was really kind of a bummer, what with all the genocide. I award it 3 giant fuzzy eggs out of 5, mostly because it was strange.

characters in decreasing order of likeability:
makeshift bikini girl
motel milf
designated egg petters
them 50 bloodhounds
the yazirian
doctor sniffles
wizened hat guy
captain demonology
wrongly accused motorcycle dudes
all other characters

dad showing off his dadbod. doesn't spark joy.

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And as per most Monsterdon classics, at the most unexpected moment, the movie is over.

I think it's just when the budget runs out suddenly.

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#monsterdon its also not clear to me how gargoyle lore is transmitted if all the gargoyles only hatched a few weeks ago. How do they know that humans killed them in the past? Do they have a gargoyle collective memory or did a few gargoyles live longer to explain world history to them?

so many good decisions in this scene:

[desert, day. a truck is driving by in a circle by itself, covered in blood]

all cast: *trundle after the truck, grabbing onto it and jumping all over it*
Sheriff: *sit right in the middle of pool of blood, gets it all over himself. distractedly wiping it off fingers and uniform through scene*

Sheriff: "wonder where they went? Jesse, we better spread out"
Jesse: "ok i'll take the dark canyon road"

#monsterdon

Diana WHAP
#WhapsOfMonsterdon #BestOfMonsterdon #Monsterdon

"Okay that's lunch everyone, and we'll finish shooting this afternoon… on second thought, scratch that, we'll just stop there and ship it."

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king Gargoyle looking like a DaVinci reject drawing, flying away, and that's it. that's the movie. WTF.

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#monsterdon anyway, this film seems to be taking a middle route between "humans are the real monsters!" and "no, the monsters are the real monsters!" in that the gargoyles are aggressive and dangerous but also seem to have good reason to fear and hate humans (who keep killing them over time, it seems).

It's more like a long running ethnic conflict between the humans and the winged reptile people, who can be understood as a displaced tribe.

#monsterdon I am an immediate fan of Cactus Motel Miss Hannigan and I wish for her a starring role

Wild speculation to make the plot work: Gargoyles are sort of descendants of the devil and/or various fallen angels. But they work sort of like Nephelim, so have lots of humans in their family tree. The head gargoyle is vague on how they're kinda human (and so don't *have* to be evil), but in a TV series this could be developed and coexistence would be possible.

Without that, they're just a plague of monsters that we have to deal with every few centuries.

#Monsterdon #Gargoyles1972

#monsterdon notable aspects of that gargoyles movie:

1) the giant skull gimmick didn't come into play much, other than the gargoyles wanted it back because it was a theft of their ancestors' bones. I thought it was going to come back to life or something. Nope.
2) it was extremely horny.
3) the motorcyclists deciding to nope out was actually kind of a neat twist; it looked like they were setting up to do a macho rescue.
4) why did the eggs have fur and need smaller gargoyles to pet them

Thanks to @Taweret@octodon.social for coordinating this weeks #monsterdon flick.

Hope the hurricanes are holding back, and gargoyles are not involved in any way.

king Gargoyle just wants to start a school breakfast program for the kids. why don't y'all let him be great!!!

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in summary always remember to pet your eggs and read to your gargoyles.

thanks to @Taweret@octodon.social for another #monsterdon

#Monsterdon a truly lost bit of cinema genius was lost here. They could have done a slow pan across a bookshelf, feature a copy of Moby Dick, and then have one of the smarter Gargoyles go on about “Ahab, hah, all humans are bastards, amirite?” And leave it there. As a literary commentary. ;)

@diazona "I sometimes look at these crimes you humans commit and wonder who the real monsters are"
"Ugh, you say this every time Gary...."

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I've seen a lot of crappy endings and this is....pretty fuckin bad

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oooooh... so King Gargoyle left his hunny for that human hussy and now she's helping the dad save his daughter?

y'all didn't tell this movie was a telenovela.

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Lol, Gargoyles planning to destroy Humanity 500 years into the future and Humanity turns that around by destroying ourselves in one hundred years

That'll show them

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#monsterdon I am wondering how these gargoyle eggs get laid. Is there a giant gargoyle queen that lays giant eggs? Or do the eggs start small and then get bigger over time?

oh, now they let the bikers out after the old white guy told them gargoyles are real.

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#monsterdon OK we can cut this scene of an elder gargoyle poking and prodding at an unconscious girl anytime now.

A-a-a-anytime at all.

That's well more than enough already.

#monsterdon "I've seen 'em all - drunks, dopers - but I got a feeling I got a new one this time." *swigs highball of scotch, stalks away*

*cut back to unlicensed autopsy of a cryptid being conducted in the motel room*

#monsterdon being unaware of how hazardous motor vehicles can be, one of the gargoyle things walks out in front of a truck and dies; the driver just speeds away because he's a jerk and doesn't want to be billed by the gargoyle's insurance company.

#monsterdon That looming thunderstorm in the background is very nifty, but the image of a bunch of arrested kids being shoved face-down in front of police holding long guns is more ominous than the weather, frankly.

#monsterdon plz to leave snek alone

i bet you that station wagon has no safety belts. i bonked my head as a kid inside one of those

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Oh #monsterdon trivia time!

This character Diana is played by Jennifer Salt. She was a roommate with Margot Kidder around this time apparently.

#monsterdon the movie starts with some lame christian theology and/or cliff notes form paradise lost, except we edited the theology to include our gargoyle OCs, who are made in the image of Satan and are like people or maybe angry dogs. This is an improvement as far as I am concerned.

Also every few hundred years the gargoyles do some mischief or something and humans retaliate by whacking them with a broom stick.

@floatybirb don't we all want to be covered in fur and petted? Particularly on Mastodon? #monsterdon

love that we have yet to have a #monsterdon movie with an actual, well thought out, ending.

UPDATE!
👇🏾 i stand corrected

Holy moley that was bad #monsterdon

"Two winged breeders left"

This is how Texas refers to women now

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King Gargoyle like his porn read

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#monsterdon If the gargoyles have placed the survival of their species and thus the viability of their eggs at the absolute tip-top of their priority list, why did they just give their main prisoner a reason to believe that the genocide of his species was the near-term plan and then chuck him down into a pit, unsupervised, right near the egg chamber..?

I know everyone is busy here but that just sounds like poor planning. Maybe gargoyles are as incompetent at survival as giant pandas.

#monsterdon an important part of gargoyle child care is arranging for someone to pet the giant fuzzy eggs.

#monsterdon _Please_ quit pestering Diana.

#monsterdon If they just killed Miss Hannigan off screen, we riot

EDIT: OK that's it, get your torches and pitchforks, I'll warm up the tar and fluff up the feathers

did king gargoyle butt slap that other gargoyle?!?!

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#monsterdon OK look, everyone who is like "why are the gargoyles walking when they could fly": yes we know the eagles could have flown the hobbits straight to mordor too

white people absconding with the dead bodies of their genocided natives is really on point

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the daughter has a serious obsession with halter tops.

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Creeping around to the bathroom to wank over the tape of screams again....there's a reason the police are hunting for him in 7 states

Who is the real gargoyle here?!

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cop ready to shoot that unarmed kid. yup. gringo movie.

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old lady in her bata de casa with a drink in hand... am about 2 years from that.

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#monsterdon I'm miffed these guys are too lazy to name an actual tribe and just refer to whoever the wizened hat guy got his skeleton from as "the indians". I want them to be more specific.

Like they could just make up a tribe like Tin Tin made up European countries... "I got these skeletons from the... um... not the Navajo... the um... Blavajoe."

#monsterdon the demonologist dude mentioned the mayan and aztec ruins, because those are the most commonly remembered groups of mesoamericans. nobody remembers the mixtec ruins, or the zapotec ruins or the purepecha ruins or the toltec ruins (except battlestar galactica I guess). some people remember the olmec ruins, mostly the simpsons and psuedoscientists.

anyway, mexico is a cool place and has lots of ruins, or so I am told.

#Monsterdon funny little coincidence today. TIL that incubus and succubus are all about tops and bottoms. Had a spot of that show up in the movie.

#Monsterdon There was room for a hot love trapezoid between the gargoyles and the humans. Alas, nobody wants to really have teratophilia. Rawr.

#monsterdon "You brought them here to kill us!"

Dude you literally threatened the extinction of the entire human species _and then let the doofus walk out_

Coloniser mercy: "I'll break the wings of your breeders"

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king #gargoyle is definitely the kind of guy that does NOT put raisins in his potato salad

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#monsterdon Look: I don't like low-framerate combat sequences when it's Jason Bourne and I don't like low-framerate combat sequences when it's gargoyles either. Just cut it out.

If this is a true 70's movie, someone's going to fall into quicksand. #Monsterdon

Welcome to the Cave of Poor Life Choices. Population: rapidly dwindling #monsterdon

there's blood everybody, so of course the deputy wipes off the evidence from his pants.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Hooked on Phonics Worked for Gargoyles"

Hot Gargoyle tutor scene right there #monsterdon

#Monsterdon No I saw nothing. I was busy drinking. I’m so thirsty! Have anything light? Like everclear or maybe the good stuff, rubbing alcohol, maybe?

went to get some more chips and found out not one but TWO swamp guys panty raiding the dad and his daughter. WTAF.

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#monsterdon

Station wagon: 1

Gargoyle(s): 0

Old Willy looks a lot like the father from the Waltons.
Maybe the skeleton is John Boy?

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aren't they supposed to be in California? where the fuck is all the traffic?!?

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Ugh - airport security is such a hassle!

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launching my #monsterdon thread for gargoyles, which I will watch until I get distracted or bored. yay gargoyles.

you get a shot, you get a shot, EVERYBODY GETS SHOT WITH THE SHOTGUN!!!

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#monsterdon lead motorcycle dude pours gasoline on all the gargoyle eggs and then lights them on fire, as gargoyles try to stop him for extremely good reasons.

in a weird fucking scene, Captain Demonology explains that "yes, we are doing a genocide because we have to kill you before you can kill us. but actually it won't be a total genocide because I will let you fly away with your girlfriend so you can lay more eggs."

and captain sniffles is like "GRAAAR BWAHAHAHAHA GRAAAR."

#monsterdon If I am following this action right, the Yazirian feels bad for Captain Demonology or something and so helps him escape. He returns with some cops and gasoline to do a genocide.

Ouch. This movie decided humans were the real monsters after all.

baby gargoyles are born fully formed adults unlike white kids who actually get to have a childhood 🤨

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#monsterdon we learn that the Yazirian is a girl because she has a girl voice when she tells Doctor Sniffles that a human search party is here to fuck with them. Doctor Sniffles orders the gargoyle army to scramble from its cave and intercept the guy with some dogs, then cackles maniacally.

NOOOOOOOOOO NO MRS DRUNK LADY!!!

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#monsterdon just when were thinking the gargoyles were pretty chill and cool and should just be left alone, the search party finds the motel milf, dead and hanging from a pole. The guy with her is missing and was probably eaten.

Anyway, the motorcycle dudes decide this scenario is made of NOPE and then zoom away into the distance.

oh, so gargoyles come from Yucatán. am pretty sure los carnales like to be called children of the devil

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#Monsterdon some of these gargoyles kinda look a bit like Sleestaks. I wonder if they are enlightened and bisexual as regular sleestaks are?

drunk lady ran to the cops with her empty glass and refilled it with the cops stash of bourbon. that's pretty impressive.

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#monsterdon what should I call the winged gargoyle in this movie who seems to be the boss?

i can smell that biker guy from here.

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#Monsterdon “I’m drunk and horny to scissor sweet cheeks. I’ll have my special highball glass of espionage handy!”

#Monsterdon Based on Horror Express, let’s saw the skulls open! Dig into the gooey goodness.

This really is turning into Dukes of Hazzard - just missing some banjo chase music.

#monsterdon

Ah, a pointless police chase!

Check out the irrigation!

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK THERE'S A MONSTER ON YOUR HOOD!!!

#monsterdon

We're going to see some Desert Willy!

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people entering into creepy looking houses without knocking and without being invited is qwhite the american way.

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#monsterdon ooo we're playing the game where we drive by the desert and the billboards get more and more surreal until they are just each SCPs in their own right.

Actor Jennifer Salt was also the daughter of Hollywood writer Waldo Salt with MGM.

He’s notable on a couple of fronts. He was blacklisted in the “red scare” McCarthyism era. Apparently a rare case of someone who bounced back from that situation and went on to be a writer on iconic works like "Serpico" and "Midnight Cowboy" and bagged a couple of Oscars.

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Again with the young 70s female photographers / internal protagonists

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#monsterdon "We'll start next Monday, with Mayan and Aztec myths" oooh, "Q: the Winged Serpent" crossover opportunity

I can already smell the sunscreen and regret. #monsterdon

"Holiday Road" should really be playing for these driving scenes. #Monsterdon

"this will complete my collection of demons"

This is how Buffy started

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ok fedi if u can see this and don't know what #monsterdon is then u are gonna get to a lot of posts soon about a movie you weren't watching. plz mute the hashtag if u don't wish to see it, or join us next week <3

https://wiki.neuromatch.social/Monsterdon
https://wiki.neuromatch.social/Filters

@jonny We did not get a single racist faux-indigenous "sacred ritual" after building that up for like 20 minutes!

#Monsterdon

In all seriousness I would be 100% in for a buddy detective series where one of them is the head gargoyle

It's 2013 and his quest to destroy humanity has fizzled out so he moves to New York and becomes a private investigator

#Monsterdon