nothing helps pick up a dracula movie more than some good old office zelda about dirt

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

@moira (don't mention the war!) #monsterdon

#Monsterdon *detective montage*

What happens if you stake a vampire and miss the heart?

Seems risky

#Monsterdon

Dracula be like (╯’□’)╯︵ ┻━┻ #monsterdon

@sean Slav Maga

#Monsterdon

Outta out of my way, English fops. #monsterdon

the mystery ship, you know, the one on the magical mystery tour

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Dracula doin' a stakeout in his carriage like a proper private investigator

#monsterdon

Jack Palance when he finds that craft services hasn't fished out all of the brown M&Ms from the bowl in the green room...

#monsterdon

"You just can't walk arou—"

Sir, I assure you that Count Dracula can and will

#Monsterdon

Use the force, Dracula, the Force.

#Monsterdon

A little Darth Vader moment here. #monsterdon

I think Jack's "eww I think this milk has expired" expression really makes this #Monsterdon film

ya know, a dracula that goes around killing all the servants is just kinda rude, not really scary. #monsterdon

"Yes sir the coachman's at the door"

(huge silly smirk)

#monsterdon

🦖 #MONSTERDON 🎞️

🧛 70s Dracula Spectacula Trivia ⚰️

Jack Palance rejected calls to be Dracula in many other movies. In this way, he avoided what we know in Monsterdon as "The Christopher Lee Effect".

So much of the decor here is bright red and I don't know if that was attempting to be thematic or just a Victorian thing.

#monsterdon

Dracula parking his Hyundai Accent on the side of the road with the lights off is very funny. #monsterdon

"This is a respectable hotel, the swingers parties are in the Travel Tavern down the road!"

#monsterdon

...Y'know, we haven't gotten even ONE BAT yet. Of any kind. #Monsterdon

one! One stake! Aahhaha!

#Monsterdon

George works at George Hotel
checks out

#monsterdon

this is a coherent and faithful adaptation if only it had any tension or a Dracula with any menace to him at all

#monsterdon

(going to admit to some embarrassing trashy fiction reading)

Literally every time we get the religious symbols all I can think of is Ilona Andrews' "vampires" from her Inn Keeper series where the vampires are just aliens from a similar rootstock to human with a belief that they would have to be cleansed in a very annoying fashion (it maybe involved fasting? I don't recall the details) if they were to kill someone while the person was praying and therefore they avoid fights with people holding religious symbols.

(if you want a well written but trashy online serial it's at https://ilona-andrews.com/innkeeper-chronicles/, though I think the current books are only available as eBooks since all of them are done and there isn't on in progress, they are free to read while in progress)

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat exactly i thought that was one of the two major selling points of being a vampire

#monsterdon

Coachman #3! Do NOT look at the camera!
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Oh, here comes the part every literature analysis has gone over in scrupulous detail. The staking of the vampires. 🙄

#Monsterdon

Van Helsing is really lucky that vampires sleep like the dead

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Don't make Dracula angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry #monsterdon

#Monsterdon "lord vader it appears... in your anger.... *you* killed her"

DRAC SMASH!

#Monsterdon #Dracula

#Monsterdon big mood

Another flashback for Jack 'drac

...Jackula? Eh. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 15th century lost love flashback

@SesameSquirrel
Coffin Coif

#Monsterdon

Oooooo, Dracula bout to be MAD!!!

#Monsterdon

lol @ table flip of rage

#monsterdon

Hinged coffins are more dramatic

#monsterdon
#DanCurtis’sDracula

Why is Jack Drac? I mean for him it was a vacation to England, I get that. But who cast him as Dracula? Why?
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Did you mention a box of soil?

(blah blah backstory about a box of soil)

#monsterdon

This version of Lucy does a really good job of legitimately looking mind-controlled, as opposed to last week's Lucy who I was convinced totally wanted to be a vampire

#Monsterdon

Now my mind is wandering thinking about a movie told from Lucy's point of view. Sweet now I'm immortal. I can make my boyfriend a vampire too and we can have fun for centuries together!
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

huh, blood and soil

vampires are nazis okay

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

"We're leaving the one remaining named woman in this movie alone while we stalk the title monster, which is a strategy which has never once gone spectacularly wrong in all of cinema history." #Monsterdon

@brooke the stake in the book is described as being like a yard long #monsterdon

#Monsterdon That is some ornate hair.

"No! You're dead!"
"No I'm not. I'm alive. Open the bleedin` window."
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Movie.

Mo. Vie.

Where. The fuck. Is Renfield.

#monsterdon

Whoa - Magnum PI is quick on the draw with the reflective cross. That's what you're paying the high fees for, right there.

#Monsterdon

The actress playing Lucy really did have a cool, intense stare, it's too bad she couldn't have been a bigger part of the movie. #monsterdon

"Look! It is already dawn, the director has taken the blue filter off the camera lens. " #Monsterdon

One of the hardest parts about being a vampire must be getting the coffin lid closed over your head every morning

#monsterdon

Whoa this Dracula seems like a terrible kisser

I am the furthest thing from an expert and even I can tell

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Imagine if you got turned into a vampire by Jack Palance but it's "Interview w/ vampire" rules and you were stuck with a 1970's hairstyle forever.

#Monsterdon 🧛🏻 #Dracula1974 You snooze, you lose, Lucy girl 🍷

This is an ex-Lucy, She has expired, she has ceased to be!!

#Monsterdon

Hammer Time!

#Monsterdon #Dracula

that is a shiny cross #monsterdon

Ha! Van Helsing shouts "Arthur" like he just walked in on them sneaking some cookies before dinner :P #Monsterdon

Attacked in your own parlor by a pack of wolves. What a way to go

#monsterdon

Decent cross effect with the reflecting light

#monsterdon #mastoween

#Monsterdon I don't think those eyebrows are historically accurate, lady.

@strangefour it was. All the Aquanet they used for the hair in these movies kick started Climate Change. #Monsterdon

“No bats in the vicinity so I’ll improvise.” #monsterdon

she should've played dracula, not palance

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

bye Arthur. #monsterdon

Now that Discount Luke Skywalker doesn't need that cocaine to stay up all night, he can use it to get through the day.

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

#Monsterdon she's baaaaaack

Ashes to ashes
Funk to funky
We know her fiance's a junky
Hopped up on meth and fighting off surprise window dog attacks. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

I was curious so I looked it up and "Westenra is an Irish surname, derived from the Dutch van Wassenaer." — wikipedia

another dutch connection!

#monsterdon

Oh she's gonna resurrect all right boys. #Monsterdon

so they're burying a planter

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

lucy has just been taking some of whats in vanhelsing's vials its perfectly fine you dont need to bury her about it #monsterdon

She's not dead, she's just cosplaying The Exorcist. #Monsterdon

He was FANTASTIC
#monsterdon

whelp that one's sprung a leak, gonna have to get a whole new cistern-in-law

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

oo, damn, some kinda Exorcist vibes from that look. #monsterdon

OK WE'RE ALL ROOTING FOR DRACULA NOW RIGHT

#Monsterdon

And now a trip to the zoo.
Why does the zoo have a german sheperd exhibit?
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

I gotta say, this version of Dracula is way better about representing the timeline of the story than the previous two

#Monsterdon

@cheribaker Garlique #monsterdon

Ah, distributing the night's-watch stimulant! So he's a Dr. Feelgood. 🤔

#Monsterdon

@yatsu He don't bite! He don't bite! He-- oh #Monsterdon

aw, that poor doggo, he just wanna play! #monsterdon

I like how they just put a second pelt on a regular German shepherd #monsterdon #dracula1974

https://images.genius.com/871f6dc0507746aed20a2f84e9879f72.600x600x1.jpg
This guy and shaggy Luke, same vibe.

#Monsterdon

Oh my gosh that pupper! What a face licker!

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

Just give him the beggin' treats! #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Whee! Fun playtime! Yaaaaaay waggy tail! #Monsterdon

Floofy!!!

#Monsterdon

okay i don't think the dog through the window was supposed to elicit laughter from the room

but

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

A lot of silence in this movie

#Monsterdon

Arthur's carefully laid coif.

Your honor, I rest my case.

#Monsterdon

Couldn't tell if it's Dracula or the dog growling #monsterdon #dracula1974

I’ve always wondered about the cross thing. What if the vampire is atheist? Does that change anything? #monsterdon

Forty five minutes in and I haven't seen any bats #monsterdon

Doggo! 🐕 #monsterdon

#monsterdon Van Helsing just hands a young Brian Jones a big jar full of amphetamines, ah the good old days.

Horse fart was perfect timing

#monsterdon