How many times have we seen that painting?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon he died as he unlived: next to a painting of himself

Oh no. They took the curtains down and Dracula finally realizes how much of a hoarder's dump his whole castle has become. It's so messy and tacky.
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Now you have to cut his head off, and and fill his mouth with holy wafers

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Umm...beheading and burning the vampire, fellas. #monsterdon

"Welp, that's done. C'mon, yorkshire puddin' with our name on it back at the coach house." #Monsterdon

like some of that was well shot. this movie just needed a couple tweaks

#monsterdon

and now Jackie P can rest well, knowing there will never be another Dracula like this one. fare thee well, old sport, and may flights of rubber bats see thee to thy rest. #monsterdon

I guess they're just gonna leave him hanging then

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Van Helsing enjoys his work a little too much

#Monsterdon

Well, that's that. Time for a latte I guess. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

I wonder whether modern vampires can tolerate sun if they slather on the SPF 100 lotion #monsterdon

You know, if he weren't pro-slavery, I'd almost feel bad for Dracula, all these people forcing their religion on him, despite how much it clearly hurts.

#Monsterdon

Some of those who toss Helsing, are the same that burn in sunlight

#Monsterdon

Wait, that spike was stone wasn't it? So Jonathan should be like writhing and stuck.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

What no special effects?

We have been ripped-off!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon stabs him with a curtain rod

love it

That sun is taking its time to have an effect other than more gas pain expressions.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou He would fit right in on the internet of 5 years ago

#Monsterdon

Well, that's convenient - you knock your vampiric pal into a pit and it's a pit full of spikey stakes.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "when your quarry goes to ground -- leave them no ground to run to"

this is me when people open the curtains first thing in the morning. much sympathy for you drac. #monsterdon

Drac reacting to sunlight like someone just told him some really bad news.

#monsterdon

I mean, this is how I feel most mornings. #Monsterdon

Palance was saving up all his acting for this scene. #Monsterdon

What Dracula-Palance is going through now is how I felt when I did the old alcohol the morning after....kids....do better drugs!

#monsterdon

OH YEAH!!!
#monsterdon

I suppose I'll take a high-speed chase by boat and train

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Aaaand the movie reaches its climax in a high-stakes game of keepaway #Monsterdon

Has there been any scene in this movie with a woman who was NOT in a bed or a coffin?

#monsterdon

it would really make more sense if vampires hated crosses because they had an OCD type compulsion to turn their backs on christ. #monsterdon

Dude you're holding the ax backwards.
Worst vampire hunters ever.
#monsterdon

Palance just has no menace to him at all

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Youre now in my domain! dot-dracula is for hip sites about the nightlife in Eastern Europe or around the world"

So glad later versions said MEE-na instead of this abomination, MINN-a. Like she's a little fish.

#Monsterdon

Iron Maiden rulez.
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

does anyone think vampire!Jonathan is way hotter than live!Jonathan?

it's like how at the end of Beauty and the Beast the Beast changes into a human and you're all like "…for THAT??"

#Monsterdon

@allanb This has me thinking, what about an alternate vampire mythology where instead of staking them you have to sleep with them

I'm sure somebody has made a porno out of that concept

#Monsterdon

Jonathan died as he lived, making poor decisions with shovel. #monsterdon

Pit And/Or Pendulum #Monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 @diazona You'd expect Pratchett to consider such things. #monsterdon

HEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY #monsterdon #dracula1974

@diazona @plaidtron3000 lol, I think I might have heard of that one too! #monsterdon

ah. found him. #monsterdon

really I feel like this just needed better casting in the main role

#monsterdon

No one expects the Harker Inquisition!

#Monsterdon #Dracula

#Monsterdon fucking useless vampire "hunters" - opening ALL the coffins, instead of open-stake-repeat.

Aha! They did use the Palantir offensively!

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

In modern vampire movies, staking a vampire is just like stabbing someone with a sword. In the movies we've watched this month, it's more like assembling an IKEA desk. #monsterdon

"My god what are they" Talk about not paying any attention. holy shit. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Def no Bechdel pass tonight.

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

"What are they?"

Those are girls, chief. #Monsterdon

@moira oh one of them got the stake all right

#monsterdon

@Lazarou @plaidtron3000 Maybe they just shift the extra mass to a parallel dimension temporarily 😂

(This was an actual explanation for shapeshifting in a fantasy series I really like... it was kind of hokey but I didn't mind)

#Monsterdon #Vampires

The amontillado's down here somewhere #monsterdon

yo maybe it's because I ran out of mini cinnamon rolls but these last 20 minutes have just DRAGGED ON. #Monsterdon

I wonder if they'll throw big bouncy boulders off the roof like in the other film. #monsterdon

Ah! Scorched earth. Much more traumatic production. #Monsterdon

wish the music was better tho

#monsterdon

The only place they know for ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that Dracula will show up is in these ladies' rooms. Yet they keep LEAVING them there. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Gotta hand it to them. The horse budget is astounding.

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

some of this is shot pretty well and he editor knew what they were doing

#monsterdon

Well General dracula, where are your armies right now?

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

@Lazarou @plaidtron3000 I am extremely validated to find I wasn't the only person wondering

#Monsterdon #Vampires

@yatsu lol, it's not one of the better ones #monsterdon

"I'm losing myself bit by bit." That's strange, Lucy lost herself bite by bite!

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

The way they pronounce Mina as "minnow" is really distracting

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Now Palance looks irked AND pained.

#Monsterdon

More examining of shipping lists? Wow this movie has ALLLLLLLL the action

#monsterdon

"i'm losing myself bit by bit" every line of this script i have to say out loud takes another part of my soul with it. #monsterdon

@apLundell @msh Hello darkness my old friend #monsterdon

DUTCH. TILT. TRAIN.

#Monsterdon

She's under his control, and totally connected to him. Let's discuss our plan for killing Dracula in front of her. #monsterdon

How Renfield steals the show says literally EVERYTHING about the film

#monsterdon

A nice serving dish of raw whole carrots on the sideboard in the kitchen there. For the rustic.

#Monsterdon

Dude, you just said the name.

#monsterdon

On the plus side, that deaf, dumb, and blind girl sure plays a mean pinball #monsterdon

I bet she's like a Palantir. If they can figure out what Dracula is seeing and hearing, Dracula can see what she is.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Van Helsing and Luke Skywalker are the worst vampire hunters ever #monsterdon

way to tell the palantir your exact plan, Pippin. #monsterdon

Uh... Guys? You left her hypnotized. Can you... Can you turn her off, please? She's burning oil over there. #Monsterdon

Oh boy, now it is getting exciting, searching the shipping lists!!
#Monsterdon

captions says that's a wolf growling but all I see is a German shepherd. We were really supposed to be taking those dogs for wolves this whole time. #monsterdon

Stop calling her minnow! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Very disappoint. Mina and her friend's mom didn't know it was a deacula. They could have at least tried to hit him over the head instead of cowering on the bed.

I'm really confused as to why burning the coffins of dirt was a major setback, does Dracula not know about shovels?

#monsterdon

"Can you hear anything?"

Yes, I can hear you asking me if I hear anything. #Monsterdon

"...there is water at the bottom of the ocean"

#Monsterdon #Dracula

People sure liked their zoom lenses in the 70s #monsterdon

@paco

#Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai @strangefour It would be sweet to see a story where the characters of both Sherlock and Dracula are tweaked just enough to make them work together and transplanted into the same world

#Monsterdon

"Do you think it will work?" It's a crystal tassel from the chandelier, sir. #monsterdon

Do Dracula's three wives (Ivana, Marla, and Melania) enter into this movie again? #monsterdon

Fade away for a commercial break…

I love that there's a covenant among filmmakers of this era to make any Dracula adaptation as weird and inscrutable as they can manage

#Monsterdon

Drink from Drac Jack's nipple! Wait what?
Has he been running a marathon? Why are they so bloody?
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

I can't deal with these people pronouncing it "Minna".

#monsterdon

Does burning the soil ruin it?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🎵 you can't have it all, my empire of dirt / cause they burned it all / gosh it really hurt 🎵

Just let him leave? That's the plan?

#monsterdon

Dracula about to have another vamptrum?

#Monsterdon