But yeah that movie just kinda... I mean Van Helsing stakes Jack and then just goes, "Welp, what's next." #Monsterdon

@paco I, for one, plan to live forever. So far, so good.

#Monsterdon

❌ Boaty McBoatface

✅ Boaty Boatwright Baker

#Monsterdon

@nev They spent all the budget on nice horses and red wall paint.

#monsterdon

Cmon, vaporize already!

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

#Monsterdon

"You can tell they are vampires because a human wouldn't die if you put a stake through their heart."

Here lies Dracula. Slain by Sam Elliott's mustache.
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

That's kinda not how proof works. It has also not been disproven that I am immortal. It will be disproven in due time.

#monsterdon

casting by "boaty boatwrite baker"

did i just read boaty mcboatface's grandma #monsterdon

Jack really needed to work on his "oh I'm so frightening" faces. And his "oh I'm so angry" faces. And his "oh, that's so disappointing" faces.

Mostly he just looked like he had to fart, or just smelled someone else's farts.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

You'd think that someone with as much money as Dracula could afford to coffin that locks from the inside

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

I can't believe it just ended with them…walking out. Just straight up walking out of the room.

Also this scroll should've been at the beginning no?

Anyway, thanks to @Taweret for hosting again!

#Monsterdon

"To this day, it has yet to be disproven."

Eat it, science!!!!!!!!!!

#Monsterdon

amazing, that move was amazing. so close to greatness, and yet so far. so very far. #monsterdon

"Disproved" - that the same as proving a negative, right?

#monsterdon
#DanCurtis’sDracula

BOATY THE BOATWRIGHT!? #Monsterdon

@strangefour He scratched deeply across his chest to make it bloody, just like in the book. #Monsterdon #DanCurtisBramStokerDracula

Cheers all and thanks for a good time as always!

I just learned by looking up Jonathan Harker on Wikipedia that it's apparently more common than I expected that Harker gets vamped in Dracula adaptations. :O

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Harker

#Monsterdon

And some literal doomscrolling at the end

Fin.

#Monsterdon

Oh good a history lesson. #Monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #Dracula was from 1974, and was the third of this month's #70sDracula jubilee! Jack Palance had us searching for Curly's blood, and also:
- Best Dracula hair ever!
- Lots of top hats!
- Lots of red ... red walls, red lamps, red clothes. And .. hmm .. seems like I'm forgetting something.
- Casually using the house staff for blood transfusions.
- A lack of bats. There should have been bats.

If this movie had any erotic content it would just be about blood play and not repressed Victorian sexuality

#Monsterdon

Tigerbeat guy is disturbed by the stakings. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon welp, that was definitely a movie :D

you're all grand sports everybody, thanks for a good time <3

Kinda wonder what happened to that prop painting. #monsterdon

So ends another #Monsterdon with our heartfelt thanks to @Taweret for hosting. Thanks also to all the posters and lurkers, and remember #Monsterdoners: To this day, it has yet to be disproven.

All someone has to do his take the stake out at night, and he's gonna be right as rain.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

they got the brass section saying "drac ulaaaa!"

#monsterdon

How many times have we seen that painting?

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon he died as he unlived: next to a painting of himself

Oh no. They took the curtains down and Dracula finally realizes how much of a hoarder's dump his whole castle has become. It's so messy and tacky.
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Now you have to cut his head off, and and fill his mouth with holy wafers

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Umm...beheading and burning the vampire, fellas. #monsterdon

"Welp, that's done. C'mon, yorkshire puddin' with our name on it back at the coach house." #Monsterdon

like some of that was well shot. this movie just needed a couple tweaks

#monsterdon

and now Jackie P can rest well, knowing there will never be another Dracula like this one. fare thee well, old sport, and may flights of rubber bats see thee to thy rest. #monsterdon

I guess they're just gonna leave him hanging then

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Van Helsing enjoys his work a little too much

#Monsterdon

Well, that's that. Time for a latte I guess. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

I wonder whether modern vampires can tolerate sun if they slather on the SPF 100 lotion #monsterdon

You know, if he weren't pro-slavery, I'd almost feel bad for Dracula, all these people forcing their religion on him, despite how much it clearly hurts.

#Monsterdon

Some of those who toss Helsing, are the same that burn in sunlight

#Monsterdon

Wait, that spike was stone wasn't it? So Jonathan should be like writhing and stuck.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

What no special effects?

We have been ripped-off!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon stabs him with a curtain rod

love it

That sun is taking its time to have an effect other than more gas pain expressions.

#monsterdon

@Lazarou He would fit right in on the internet of 5 years ago

#Monsterdon

Well, that's convenient - you knock your vampiric pal into a pit and it's a pit full of spikey stakes.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "when your quarry goes to ground -- leave them no ground to run to"

this is me when people open the curtains first thing in the morning. much sympathy for you drac. #monsterdon

Drac reacting to sunlight like someone just told him some really bad news.

#monsterdon

I mean, this is how I feel most mornings. #Monsterdon

Palance was saving up all his acting for this scene. #Monsterdon

What Dracula-Palance is going through now is how I felt when I did the old alcohol the morning after....kids....do better drugs!

#monsterdon

OH YEAH!!!
#monsterdon

I suppose I'll take a high-speed chase by boat and train

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Aaaand the movie reaches its climax in a high-stakes game of keepaway #Monsterdon

Has there been any scene in this movie with a woman who was NOT in a bed or a coffin?

#monsterdon

it would really make more sense if vampires hated crosses because they had an OCD type compulsion to turn their backs on christ. #monsterdon

Dude you're holding the ax backwards.
Worst vampire hunters ever.
#monsterdon

Palance just has no menace to him at all

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Youre now in my domain! dot-dracula is for hip sites about the nightlife in Eastern Europe or around the world"

So glad later versions said MEE-na instead of this abomination, MINN-a. Like she's a little fish.

#Monsterdon

Iron Maiden rulez.
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

does anyone think vampire!Jonathan is way hotter than live!Jonathan?

it's like how at the end of Beauty and the Beast the Beast changes into a human and you're all like "…for THAT??"

#Monsterdon

@allanb This has me thinking, what about an alternate vampire mythology where instead of staking them you have to sleep with them

I'm sure somebody has made a porno out of that concept

#Monsterdon

Jonathan died as he lived, making poor decisions with shovel. #monsterdon

Pit And/Or Pendulum #Monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 @diazona You'd expect Pratchett to consider such things. #monsterdon

Guess Johnathan got the point. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

HEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY #monsterdon #dracula1974

"My god. What are they?

"They're vampires. We have to destroy them."

Arthur, have you NOT been paying attention?

#Monsterdon

@diazona @plaidtron3000 lol, I think I might have heard of that one too! #monsterdon

ah. found him. #monsterdon

really I feel like this just needed better casting in the main role

#monsterdon

No one expects the Harker Inquisition!

#Monsterdon #Dracula

THERE'S Jonathan!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon fucking useless vampire "hunters" - opening ALL the coffins, instead of open-stake-repeat.

Aha! They did use the Palantir offensively!

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

In modern vampire movies, staking a vampire is just like stabbing someone with a sword. In the movies we've watched this month, it's more like assembling an IKEA desk. #monsterdon

"My god what are they" Talk about not paying any attention. holy shit. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Def no Bechdel pass tonight.

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

once again, the other wives just sleeping through the other ones being noisily murdered. #monsterdon

"What are they?"

Those are girls, chief. #Monsterdon

@moira oh one of them got the stake all right

#monsterdon

@Lazarou @plaidtron3000 Maybe they just shift the extra mass to a parallel dimension temporarily 😂

(This was an actual explanation for shapeshifting in a fantasy series I really like... it was kind of hokey but I didn't mind)

#Monsterdon #Vampires

The amontillado's down here somewhere #monsterdon

too bad these girls didn't have any real stake in the story

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

yo maybe it's because I ran out of mini cinnamon rolls but these last 20 minutes have just DRAGGED ON. #Monsterdon

They couldn't find a box of flies for Renfield, so they just wrote him out.

Boxes of flies are, in fact, hard to come by.

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

I wonder if they'll throw big bouncy boulders off the roof like in the other film. #monsterdon

Ah! Scorched earth. Much more traumatic production. #Monsterdon

wish the music was better tho

#monsterdon

The only place they know for ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that Dracula will show up is in these ladies' rooms. Yet they keep LEAVING them there. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Gotta hand it to them. The horse budget is astounding.

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

some of this is shot pretty well and he editor knew what they were doing

#monsterdon

Well General dracula, where are your armies right now?

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Wtf? Why are they standing still? #Monsterdon

@Lazarou @plaidtron3000 I am extremely validated to find I wasn't the only person wondering

#Monsterdon #Vampires

@yatsu lol, it's not one of the better ones #monsterdon