@ottaross a little robot comes out and starts to dust his precious soil #monsterdon

Are we meant to believe that they burned those coffins, there in the living room, next to the wooden mantle and wooden floor and wooden walls, but only the coffins burned? #monsterdon

That scream is more Godzilla than Vampire…

#Monsterdon #Dracula

I'm thinking Dracula could recover a lot of precious box dirt with just the help of a broom and dustpan.

#Monsterdon

"Is the scary part of this movie in the room with us now?"

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

They just put down their effectual crosses because...reasons?

#monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 that rule has always bugged me, what if you rent? #monsterdon

I miss bats 🦇 #monsterdon

That shipping company montage was hilarious 😆 #Monsterdon 🧛🏻 #Dracula1974

In contrast to the usual smooth hypnotic Dracula, this guy is powered by the urge to exact revenge #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Midvale Shipping Company for the Gifted #Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

Those street urchins have suspiciously modern clothing

#monsterdon #mastoween

Don't think I've ever seen Dracula karate chop a dude before #monsterdon

#Monsterdon no wilhelm scream! Awww!

All this walking... No one turns into bats anymore. #monsterdon

Palance is by far the most hostility-filled angry vampire we have seen yet

#monsterdon

the other movies basically had dacula being friends with everyone up until the end, weird how we've got like half the movie left and they've gone into full on dracula hunting mode #monsterdon

OMG! The SIZE OF LUCY'S HAIR while in the coffin 🤣🤣🤣 #Monsterdon 🧛🏻 #Dracula1974

@Taweret@octodon.social it's so shiny like things in Victorian England weren't #monsterdon

Lucy you taste like a dead animal
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Arthur, you are a ninny.

#Monsterdon The Lucy Juicebox has the straw stabbed into it, carelessly tossed aside when she’s empty. Awful vampiric fifth graders. Tsk.

#Monsterdon Mrs. Wesson Oil! Mrs. Wesson Oil!!!

Authentic British rain

#monsterdon

my cat just bit me and so now i have little dracula fang wound on my hand and i'm sippin #monsterdon

ATTACK OF THE GOOD BOIS!

This is what you get for washing all your clothes with bacon, y'all.

#Monsterdon

Luke Skywalker getting complacent already.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

lol, the police dog attack may be the most thrilling scene of this Dracula, that is a badass stunt dog

#monsterdon

Comooooon Renfield

make an appearance for God's sake!

#monsterdon

It's my medical opinion that there's a corpse sucking her blood. I learned that at the Mayo Clinic. #Monsterdon

"Have you ever heard of Nosferatu?" "That's the ship from ALIEN, isn't it?"

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon Lucy’s going to have a magic moment. A triapse through Stardew valley! A wee-hours delight! She’s on the prowl!

1897 doctor to female patient: “You’ll be just fine, my dear, just fine.”
To a man in the next room: No one has ever been this doomed.
#Monsterdon

Red room, red bulb red smoking jacket but nobody's gay

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Jack!Drac has to walk with a swagger, to keep his floppy manhood from interfering with his brooding shambling.

More Carfax product placement #monsterdon

@paco low bar though.... #monsterdon

ooo nice mention of the penny dreadful

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

"We are gathered here today to mourn Harker, who was butterfly kissed to death by three hot chicks." #Monsterdon

Great shot with the dead captain

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Really, just going to lovingly caress the side of his head with the shovel blade. Tsk.

Jack Palance is doing more acting than the Christopher Lee Dracula cast added together. #monsterdon

"spend some time in Europe before returning home"

Wait, Britain isn't part of Europe?

#monsterdon #mastoween

Again, just like the Brits abroad, Harker cannot stop drinking....

#monsterdon

All truly creepy houses have hidden doors
#monsterdon

I like the accent Palance settled on, not European, but just sort of vaguely not-American. He knows his limits

#Monsterdon

@JoeWynne Hunnish. As in the guys that were in Atilla's Entourage. Maybe.

#monsterdon #mastoween

"Yeah, enough about the property deals.....your fiancee is a bit hot, if you know what I mean?"

It was that sort of business deal...

#monsterdon

He's getting pretty excited about real estate.

#monsterdon
#Dracula1974

“Enter freely and of your own will.”
Nothing ominous about that sincere greeting. #monsterdon

Luggage handlers, am I right? #Monsterdon

"I'm sorry, I do not understand you" said loudly and as if it's the local's fault, classic Brits abroad

#monsterdon

The iron maiden has these crude metal boobs on the outside. I'm pretty sure this is what they used to change your gender in medieval times. #monsterdon

@foolishowl
Their preparation was apparently to confront the good Count during the day - a tad anti-climactic. It's like if Superman's Kryptonite was 12 hours a day, every day, and he just decided to fight during the Kryptonite. 🤔
#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Director: No bats. They always look fake, rubbery and ridiculous.

What about wolves?

Director: Just use dogs. No one will know the difference. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

What, no turning into dust in this one?

#Monsterdon

What an oddly worded summary for #Dracula1974 on letterboxd

#monsterdon

Casting by Boaty McBoatface! #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

To this day, it has also yet to be proven.
Just sayin.

yeah this one had some plans and for a TV movie a LOT of ambition but dang so much of it didn't really quite hang together and then that collapse of an ending

#monsterdon #Dracula1974

Lots of fancy Victorian eye candy, and it was fun watching Jack Palance awkwardly attempt to play Dracula. And a couple solid jump-scares! Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and see y'all next week!

#monsterdon

That's kind of a weak death scene for Dracula there

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

#Monsterdon thank you @Taweret@octodon.social for this gem. Never saw it before, but that’s fixed! A lovely time, with the best movie folks around! You guys are hilarious and super quick! :)

TRUE HUMILITY

Right Reverend Host. “I’M AFRAID YOU’VE GOT A BAD DRACULA MOVIE, MR. JONES!”
The Curate. “OH NO, MY LORD, I ASSURE YOU! PARTS OF IT ARE EXCELLENT!”

#Monsterdon #DanCurtisDracula

So, Simon Ward, who played Arthur. His dad was a car dealer. So he already had connections to Carfax.

Very much ahead of his time.

hat tip to my mom for the facts

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Immediate delete. Never going to watch that snoozer again. #Monsterdon

you don't need to tell me that dracula is real for the movie to be scary #monsterdon

"It has yet to be disproven"

um that's not how that works

#Monsterdon

also I'm pretty sure dracula means dragon and not devil but whatever you say movie

#monsterdon

70s audiences must have really loved reading.

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

Since I've clearly lost the plot in this movie (though I made it further than the previous 2!) how about some fun vampire facts/myths from various sources? (though not as many as I used to know, I was a weird kid)

1. some claim that the religious symbolism is only helpful as a defense mechanism if you actually believe, but that if you do believe it can be any symbol you believe in (Patricia Briggs takes this to something of an extreme by having Mercy Thompson use a lamb as her symbol for Jesus in that book series)

2. staking through the heart is often only supposed to work if the vampire can be staked into the ground, the idea being to pin them in place even with their ability to heal (often the wood needed to be special, but I can't recall what about it)

3. most references to killing a vampire are based on complete immolation (either via sunlight or fire) as having nothing left is truly the way to avoid them healing themselves over time (as in there are stories where even decapitation doesn't work if you bury the head next to the body, Kevin Hearne takes this to an extreme when he has Lars remake a head from basically nothing in the Iron Druid series, whoops, spoiler I guess?)

(stay tuned for more next week when I inevitably get bored, I'll try to look up some more obscure ones I used to know before then)

#Monsterdon

Van Helsing would be right at home in the Old West wearing a sheriff's badge and fedora

#Monsterdon

Oh great. Now we have to sit through a history lesson. #Monsterdon #Dracula1974

No one told me there was going to be a quiz at the end.

#Monsterdon #Dracula

Wait, isn't the stake supposed to be wooden?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Just walk off set. Yeah, you’re done. Take care. I guess. Bye?

#monsterdon No, we have a portrait of Vigo the Carpathian at home:

(as I was typing: ノ🧛‍♂️ ノ ┻━┻)

Well they really have done a lot of writing up and down that one Forest path in this movie haven't they.

I miss herzog's transitions

#Monsterdon #Dracula1974

@ricci There were some epic zooms in on women standing in windows

#Monsterdon

Oh come on, there is no way Van Helsing has that kind of upper body strength. #Monsterdon

"Er guys,...are you just going to leave me here? Nailed to the table? Guys?"

#monsterdon

Just when you thought this was the brightest vampire film ever it goes next level #Monsterdon

Helsing making these stakings a sexual act, somebody better keep an eye on him....

#monsterdon

Wow! The sun is both in the east and west at the same time!

Two suns in the sunrise!

#monsterdon #palanceIsDracula

Iron Maiden cameo #monsterdon

I like how he gets all conflicted when he sees a cross

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Hissing like a cat on a hot tin crucifix.

I think there should be a little flag that goes up on the iron maiden to indicate whether it's occupied #monsterdon

#Monsterdon chekov's pit: if you introduce the pit in act iii you have to use it two minutes later

God. Fuckin' klutz even as a vampire. #Monsterdon

Me at work: "I'm losing myself bit by bit. It won't be long now."

#Monsterdon

They're gonna find Jonathan crumpled in the corner like an empty Capri Sun pouch. #Monsterdon

This would be a great scene for some rats.
#Monsterdon
#dracula

@Lazarou @diazona @plaidtron3000 There is at least one mythology where a vampire turns into a *flock* of bats. How they all then get back together and if you kill one is the vampire now missing their spleen is left an an exercise for the reader.

#Monsterdon

where's that bug eating guy i miss him #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Our heroes are here to kill vampires and chew bubble gum, and I think they brought plenty of bubble gum. 🤦‍♂️
#Dracula1974

@catzilla "The Fucking Useless Vampire Hunters" #monsterdon

@Sorl Day for night, dog for wolf

#monsterdon #mastoween

I desperately want to clean that crystal -- SO MANY SMUDGES 🤦🏻‍♀️ #Monsterdon 🧛🏻 #Dracula1974