This reminds me I want to make a cape

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

STOP NARRATING YOU'RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "She had summoned the Wolf Man from beyond the grave."

Wow, that's quite a plot point to just hand-wave with a narration.

WILL YOU STOP SQUEEZING THE GUINEA PIGS THEY DON'T LIKE IT

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Never have I been so happy to see an ad break

#Monsterdon

The flesh is weak, but the spirit is also weak.

#Monsterdon

"People hunched over their devices all the time now, in my day you have a round plate of cold ash for all your news and gossip...."

#Monsterdon

BTW even en Ethpanya, the G word has been rejected. they’re roma or romani.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

Dr. Seward is clearly hot on the trail of this village's sudden outbreak of neck melanoma.

#monsterdon

Count Rugen: I've just sucked one year of your life away

Vampires: HA HA SUCKER! I WAS ALREADY DEAD!

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Shit, I don't have time to photoshop Dracula into that "I Consent, I Consent (jesus) I Don't!" picture. Just imagine it, please. #Monsterdon

They can all just sit up straight like that because once you're dead you get amazing abs

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

I would like it very much if at some point a woman in this movie made a sound that was not a moan, a shriek, or a combination of the two

#Monsterdon

Me: Why did they take her? Where are they taking her?
Film: Shut the fuck up
#monsterdon

Notable fact about this movie is that 80% of the dialog is screaming. Screaming comes in two types, bat screaming and hot girl screaming. Another 10% of the dialog is grunting.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Nothing could prevent me from bringing all of humanity under my control."

Uh, maybe don't write about your in-progress evil plans in the past tense.

#monsterdon Oh, she's got an outlet right next to her coffin! That's convenient!

No bats were harmed in the making of this mov…

One bat was harmed in the making of this movie.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I honestly like this understated Dr Frankenstein.

He's really playing against type.

He's stealing blood to reanimate Dracula, and he's just going about it in an entirely businesslike and detached, clinical way.

Too bad he's not in focus in this shot.

#monsterdon I like that one guy who immediately tried to fight Frankenstein.

No hesitation. As soon as the monster appeared, that guy lunged.

Transparent aluminum? #monsterdon

awesome, it's time for Moulin Rouge! Let's stay at the dank bony club a little longer shall we?

#monsterdon

The bat keeps changing which animal it's impersonating.

#monsterdon

(dramatic music continues) it sure does

#Monsterdon

It's fun to be there when Phil the cameraman learns what zoom does

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

How to tell if you are watching a 1970s film:

Is the camera operator CONSTANTLY fucking around with the zoom?

Y - you are watching a 70s film
N - you might be watching a 70s film

#Monsterdon

@cocaine_owlbear Mistakes were made.

#monsterdon

We survived!! 😓

#Monsterdon

Ethpanyoles, historically, cannot shut the fuck up about the moon and stars or whatever floats their boat when singing. the choices in this movie are interesting.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

just for the record, Forbidden Planet is still on my hard drive, because that culture I will preserve....

#Monsterdon

I guess it ended

I think that earns the distinction of being my least favorite so far. That movie made LASERBLAST look like it had a plot

#Monsterdon

Thanks for the laughs #monsterdon pals. As far as the film, brutal. Take care. See ya soon.

#monsterdon What? Last time he died he turned into a dead bat!

Okay pretty sure he's actually wearing the plastic fake vampire teeth we all had as a kid

Like we can't all recognize that treasured childhood memory

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

HIS TEETHS SO CLEAN YES WHO'S A GOOD DOGGO

#monsterdon #draculaprisoneroffrankenstein

Ooooooo, she has pretty flecks of hazel in her blue eyes, that's neat

(literally nothing else is happening that's all I have to look at)

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

#monsterdon I want doctor Seward to say "Ok, but if Wolfman can't get the job done, do you know how I can contact the Creature from the Black Lagoon?"

the wolfman cometh

but I am not sure he should have done

#Monsterdon

:bing: Dr. Seward sporting a real poncho or a Sears poncho

#monsterdon

Never mind I take back what I said about an ad break, this little caesar's ad just felt the need to both a) use GOAT, b) explain to me what GOAT means

There is no escape only suffering

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I love how most characters only speak when their lips are off-screen.

#monsterdon Doctors love being cured by folk healers.

@springdiesel If you want to know what you missed, it was a lot of screaming. #monsterdon

BTW whomever is in charge of the cinematography, watched one too many Franco Zeffirelli movies.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

#monsterdon I know you've got to start somewhere, but if your goal is to enslave the entire world, and you've only got three slaves so far, you need to pick up the pace.

@josh0
It's ok. I wrote it all the dialog down. Here it is, in approximate order:
aaahhhhaa!
Hyah!
Arrrrrrgh
Eeeeeeaaaaeeeee!
#monsterdon
@steggy @Zerofactorial

i cant believe this movie is trying to outtacky the hammer movies. that’s a really high bar for low-budget tackiness.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

Y'know, film, I think you've set enough TEXTURE, maybe it's time to move on to SUBSTANCE. #Monsterdon

So uh, still not a Bechdel pass, right?

#Monsterdon

this woman right now: "Did I leave the iron on?"

#monsterdon

THIS FILM IS JUST

CLOSEUPS

OF TWITCHING

#Monsterdon

@JoeWynne Vampire from concentrate
#Monsterdon

there's so much nothing happening. I'm going to go make some popcorn

because then at least I will have popcorn

#Monsterdon

I recognize the music. It's borrowed/stolen from somewhere else. #monsterdon

look i am choosing to believe they are giving the bat some delicious sugar water, ok?

Yes. Delicious sugar water for bat. Nothing else. La la la.

#monsterdon

These motherfuckers better not have drowned a real bat to make this

#Monsterdon

Lost joke opportunity: when the doc stakes him with the tiny hammer, Dracula’s leg should have popped up.

#Monsterdon

My favorite scene in this movie so far is the one where the guy in the tavern was grunting and handing a main character a note. Very glad that they included that.

#monsterdon

She's singing about the lunch specials. #Monsterdon

The monster just came out of the closet!

Happy Pride everyone!

#monsterdon

WHAT. IS IT.

Indeed miss.

#Monsterdon

LMAO so to save money on screenwriters and dubbing services, they’re using pieces of paper to communicate. i can’t even…

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

You know, if you're going to go this light on dialog, you'd think that when you have people say things that those things would contribute to the movie in some way

#Monsterdon

I AM READY TO KILL THAT DAMN BAT MYSELF 😂😂

#Monsterdon

Ooh, back at the dank bony club, he's gotta keep on dancing

#monsterdon

what.... is it?

That's the narrator, darling, but that's not important right now.

#monsterdon

and he’s just going into a creepy castle, without asking if he can come in, because of course that’s what even the lightly hued would do.

rude.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

Could he have found a SMALLER hammer? Ha ha!

#monsterdon

foley artist really, really overdoing it here

that's not gravel

#monsterdon

Okay I really love horses but this is a surprising lot of their bums

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

Fun fact: There is more then just zooming as options for shots
#monsterdon

POV: you're getting a vision of Dracula

#Monsterdon

This is about when it got to the point where it didn't matter what the movie was about, as long as it had 'dracula' and/or 'frankenstein' in the title. "Dracula, Frankenstein's barber". #monsterdon

Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Unless you're Frankenstein, then it's probably for you.

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

I was right! I could put this #Monsterdon flick on the TV and pay absolutely no attention whatsoever to it! Frankly, why should I be any different than the people who made this terrible movie?

Still, I’m thankful that it let me have a productive evening.

I wish I’d paid enough attention to see that hearse again so that I could figure out what it was. I don’t think I can watch this a second time, but maybe I can catch it by fast forwarding.

#DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein

#monsterdon I've traded a dusty film about wahever it was for a cat on my chest. LOL!

They should take this movie, and take Godzilla Final Wars, and like average them. #monsterdon

It’s pretty clear to me the primary villain of this film was Dr. Frankenstein, but I wonder if the filmmakers wanted us to see the monsters as the villains instead. How would an audience have perceived it 50 years ago?

As always, thanks to @Taweret for hosting, to @Cherizilla for #MonsterdonBingo, and to all of you for making it fun!

Until next time, cheers!

#Monsterdon

So the moral of the story:

if something is not going well – like your army of world-dominating vampires is running into werewolves - just torch that shit and try again some other time.

#monsterdon

I think I understand how The Castle of Fu Manchu turned out the way it did now. Compared to THIS, that was a crowd-pleasing middle of the road action film. #Monsterdon

lol, never has a Monsterdon movie been so quickly deleted after watching it!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon What an absurdly low-rent movie.

DID YOU EVEN SAY THANK YOU

#Monsterdon

My favorite part of the fight is the werewolf jumping at the frankenstein monster, or maybe that was the other way around. But it was just a jump. Not like an attack jump, just a jump.

#monsterdon

"We don't have flaming torches, we can only afford the smoking ones"

#Monsterdon

oh my god the extended orgasm noise for Frankenstein

I am not sure if those noises were dubbed over for English or if only the dialogue was, but oh my god in the Spanish cut…

#Monsterdon

@ricci Godmonster of Indian Flats was a better love story than Twilight

#Monsterdon

so, is Blondie for or against Frankenstein?

btw, Francisco Franco was still Ethpain’s dictator when this movie was made.

so Francoethtein?

#Monsterdon #DraculaPrisonerOfFrankenstein #DraculaContraFrankestein

Budget Hitchcock is furious with them

#monsterdon

Is there a mummy in this?

I'm kinda expecting a mummy.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon So, wolfman and frankenstein walk into a room..

@paco is that Obi-Wan Kenobi behind them? These are not the extras you are looking for

#Monsterdon

I kinda want to go back through this movie and count the number of actual lines of spoken dialogue. I'm not sure it'd crack double digits. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon The faith healer was attacked off-camera? That means she didn't even get to make five minutes of panicked groans!

Oh man, lady, do NOT eat Torgo, surely there's something crawling on the ground that'll be a more hygenic meal for you D: #Monsterdon

oh no, Morpho!

He does have good facial expressions. C'mon. You can't deny it.

#monsterdon

Angelina Jolie rises for the midnight shift... #Monsterdon

@_L1vY_ Just 15 more minutes. You can do this! We all can. We must. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Did she say "The Wolfman"?

Oh yeah, I guess he was on the poster. I forgot about that.

I'm not sure how Dr. Frankenstein is "controlling" Dracula exactly

#Monsterdon