@SnoopJ tell scatterbrained grandfather to fucking go back in time and mine some gold or whatever he needs to do to hire a damn assistant to help him remember to put a clock in the time machine #monsterdon
#monsterdon Peter Cushing is throwing serious Lloyd Bridges vibes from Hot Shots...
"let's forage around this city for the mercury we want, which we'll just fucking take because we're British!"
Somewhere, someone's only understanding of Doctor Who comes from this movie. And I love that for them.
So far the hip opening-credits music is the best part, but Iβm on board with the rest. I can see how this will make doctrinaire Whovians nuts, but Iβve heard about the very non-canonical nature of this one. Iβm going to meet it on its own mediocre ground.
isn't dr who basically a god, how can you invent a time machine but also not invent any surveying equipment or even like a readout of where the fuck you are #monsterdon
Following JRPG logic, after wandering through the swamp a bit, we find a Surprise City, which looks like a bit like a detention camp with a wall and some weirdly well-lit towers.
the janky ass dr who box is incapable of scanning for signs of life like large concentrations of electromagnetic radiation or heat sources or terraforming over some local time window, it just shows up in a random spot and they may or may not discover the massive city right next to where they spawned #monsterdon
i have left every experience of people trying to get me to like dr who bored to tears, so now i guess is another chance to like this thing that everyone else seems to like #monsterdon
After the most 60s introduction sequence possible, we go to a house filled with british fediverse denizens. The daughters are all reading science books while the dad is reading a science fiction comic book.
Then a dude named "Ian" shows up and sits on their cakes and almost sits on the dad's invention, some kind of magic box.
So far this movie seems fine.
OH FUCK OFF
alright you jokers what the hell is this movie #monsterdon
timely that it ends with a mention of the Roman Empire π§
Some ditziness, some luscious color, a stalwart child hero, a mess of a final 10 minutes. Overall, a very fun #Monsterdon time--glad to have seen it. Thanks, @Taweret, @Cherizilla and @JoeWynne for the flashbacks.
@silverwizard I guess there's some WWI trauma in that #Monsterdon #DrWho #Daleks
@Terencio lol, it's all that, even now, lots of physical comedy #MOnsterdon
@Terencio Oh no. That's like saying Taco Bell is your first exposure to Mexican food.
I'm wondering if this was supposed to be a Doctor Who prequel, with Peter Cushing as the First Doctor maybe? Probably not, but maybe?
The guy who played Ian had second billing. Was he a familiar physical comedian of the time? #Monsterdon
it wasn't the 'Butlerian Jihad', it was 'Susan's Crusade'
My main takeaway is always remember to keep some spare mercury on hand. #Monsterdon
Ian, get in the fucking box -_-; #Monsterdon
@socketwench Turns out that the #monsterdon crowd has reversed course and now wants Ian chucked into the Sun.
@jivens easily, Skaro belongs to the Thaals now!
Because the Doctor doesn't want this planet to explode, he tries to offer his time machine to the Daleks so they won't kill him or nuke the planet (I think).
The Daleks are like "cool we'll both nuke the planet and steal your time machine so we can conquer other planets." which is the peril of negotiating with genocidal pepper pots I guess.
Listening to these daleks talk really is one of the more enervating experiences in my life. They go longer than 30 seconds at a time and I struggle to keep my eyes open.
3 is an underrated choice for a lucky number, but a small enough one that is going to make you seem luckier than you are an awful lot
Ziggy Gaydust won't fight the Daleks?
fuckwad really doesn't understand self defense, doesn't he? sounds familiar.
unfortunate that itβs getting his dick wet what makes him think twice about it.
I guess they fixed the lift.
@CactuarJoe yeah they never talk about that regeneration. #monsterdon
oh, the Daleks are gonna set us up the bomb.
lol, love how the Darlek numbering system is just ours, but with a funky font
did i just see giant Legos?
This is the craziest mountaineering safety demonstration I've seen all week.
They're not done yet, they have to recruit Mog and then pick up Umaro. #Monsterdon
yeah there are events occurring, and there are some weird and goofy guys, but somehow it isn't any fun and is just tedious #monsterdon
"My name is IΓ±igo Montoya. You killed my hopes for a decent Doctor Who movie. Prepare to die."
I would say I wonder what the daleks are up to but probably having extended conversations with each other #monsterdon
"we found pipes! great, those probably go right through the mountains, let's follow them"
"ah! these pipes are going straight up a mountain. great, we can simply climb the mountain"
β¦ :blobfoxgooglyconfused:
"5000 years of microplastics did this"
*gestures to swamp
@SnoopJ Oh, reinforcements also makes for bingo here #monsterdon
Wait, what happened to needing mercury?
somebody mentioned glass files?
Is this glass square the long, long future of data storage? - https://theconversation.com/is-this-glass-square-the-long-long-future-of-data-storage-276263
Imagine designing a prison cell so poorly it's occupants can use it to bring down your civilisation
Once again Susan saves the day.
Feeling the Thaals are a Bi and Poly civilisation...
Drink a cup of tea every time a Darlek says "EXTERMINATE"
how convenient the Thals speak english.
#monsterdon Herded by bumpycake roombasβ¦
Dalek planet locations:
* swamp
* modern art gallery (danger: Daleks)
* rock wall
* others (???)
@jonny That is the same as in the canon series. I think the answer is they've mutated so much they can't produce their native language anymore and instead of changing the language to the sounds they can make, they've made voice synthesizers out of pride and stubbornness
@WizardOfDocs Is that right?
what makes your wall-e'd out ass think that if you had a better rad suit you could walk around on the rocky surface of the planet. your muscles are probably pretty much jelly by now #monsterdon
@Newpa_Hasai anyway, IMO if they're experiencing debilitating symptoms this soon after irradiation, they're already dead and just don't know it yet
wait so the daleks aren't robots? they're mechs and the robot part is just a rad suit? why are they talking all robotlike #monsterdon
that granddaughter of his suffers from clueless whitewomanitis in a creepy, dark forrest
I canβt believe her hair was done on purpose! #Monsterdon
After wandering about we find a room with computers that goes "woop woop woop" and the Doctor announces that one of the machines is a geiger counter and also everything is radioactive. How he determined that, I'm not sure.
He also says "oh the tardis isn't broke i just wanted to check out the cool city" and Ian is like "well okay I'm british lets just leave now please" and then some Daleks appear and arrest them.
Lol, the good Dr led his family to die on a radioactive hell planet....
@davesdogmaggie What are you like a nerd or something.
Ian, pantomiming A Man At The Grocery Store #Monsterdon
Ugh, why is he mincing around like that? #Monsterdon
βItβs heroin. Please put it inside for me Susan dearβ
@SnoopJ well i don't know what the continuity is all i know is that inventing a time machine without the ability to see where you're going is like inventing a car but forgetting to put a windshield on it #monsterdon
Ian is drunk, he got wasted before the date and that's why he's bumbling everywhere
They filmed this in Milton Keynes (jk)
so far i'm rooting for this woman's hair, everyone else including the woman underneath it i can take or leave #monsterdon
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
Wow this Tardis looks like shit
Yeah, the English dude just INVENTED a TARDIS, fall down a flight of stairs and die the whole POINT of the TARDIS is that it's entirely inhuman. #Monsterdon
Launching my #monsterdon thread for Dr Who and the Daleks! Which I assume involves a maniac in a time traveling box fighting fascist pepper pots.
Monsterdon is the thing where we watch an old monster every week and praise and/or make fun of it. Mute the hash tag if that's not your thing, if that is your thing, then follow @Taweret for the weekly poll to decide what movie to watch.
@jgamble I watched a few minutes after not watching it for many years and now I have this meme:
@paco Being stuck sucks. But you could be the first person to #Monsterdon on a plane. So there is making history to consider.
@ramsey
I thought Dr Who wore a bow tie, it just had a floppy bow and long ribbons on it. What was his tie called?
Well, I didnβt get a BINGO because no one wore a bow tie. Why not? Bow ties are cool!
@silverwizard I was terrified of that fog weapon as a child #Monsterdon
THIS. FILM. COULD. HAVE. BEEN. PLAYED. AT. DOU-BLE. SPEED. AND. STILL. BEEN. PACED. TOO. PLOD-DING-LY. #Monsterdon #DoctorWhoAndTheDaleks
Somehow the TV series made this particular story feel better. I know it helped a lot that it was broken up into episodes instead of one continuous movie, but I guess also at least it had the whole cheesy aspect as a plus. This movie was like they were given a huge budget but then spent it all on paint...
Oh, and, for some reason, lavalamps...
The puny humans go back to the Tardis and the Thals line up to say "bye and also thanks for saving our planet" They then give them their cool cloaks in thanks.
Inside the Tardis they plan to go home but then they open the door and they're in an ancient roman movie and a legion is about to step on the Tardis I guess so they go to another time and now its ooops... i guess they're stuck forever hopping through times now, oh no.
#monsterdon 97 bottles of beer on the wall!
It seems like we stopped the doomsday countdown by tricking the Daleks into shooting their own computer. This works for some reason.
So far the Daleks in this movie do not seem to be very bright.
It only took one day of the Thaals getting their shit together (and meeting Susan) for them to overthrow the Darleks.
CAPES FOR EVERYONE
While the doomsday count down continues, the Thals break in and attack the Daleks with ropes, this is super effective for some reason. They then reach the control room and attack the Daleks by rotating them around so they shoot each other, this is also super effective for some reason.
yeah, the Daleks are good for "shoot first, ponder if good idea later"
i do like how easily daleks are defeated. just turn the evil on itself and voila.
evil dalek empire routinely defeated by uneven sidewalks, adversaries who can move at a brisk walk
I-KEPT-IT-BECAUSE-IT-REMINDS-ME-OF-THOSE-LIQUID-FILLED-GLITTER-STICKS
the Daleks not having death rays but only mist guns really does keep the stakes low here. they're just kinda manhandling them
Daleks are very much like the parents of small children. They just keep shouting the same orders over and over and being ignored.
"stop!"
"Stay where you are!"
"You can't go outside."
"Go out and find the people with the drugs and get us some drugs."
Insane amount of friendly fire amongst the wheeled nazis....
ah yes, a tube filled with mercury. obviously complicated.
wow, they've summoned the Dalek Laser Light show.
#Monsterdonπβ³πΈπ¨ββοΈβοΈπ€π―π±
oh no he said 'in-stru-ments' with the 'r' where it is in spelling but not where it is in pronunciation
@JoeWynne Itβs like the writers and director of this movie had never seen Doctor Who and only heard about it from someone's 8-year-old nephew who heard about it at school from his friend Tommy who had never seen it but listened to his older sister describe it.
Itβs homeopathic Dr. Who.
BEHOLD, MY WHEAT THINS TOWERS
"they're shining a bit of light at our sensors"
"open the doors for the counter-barrage light assembly!"
love the secret entrance to the Darlek city, very much like a toy from the 80s...