this is a movie where lost British people have to save the gay elves from evil salt shakers.

#monsterdon

The thing is, they basically wrote a movie with the same pacing as a 1960s Doctor Who serial.

S

L

O

W

#Monsterdon

The Thals have a thriving pharmaceutical business, costumes, and eye-shadow, but no camping gear, tents or food. Okay.

#Monsterdon

you have a time and space machine and don't have a button that can summon the time and space machine to your current time and location #monsterdon

Red Dalek there is autistic, look at that poor eye contact. #Monsterdon

if someone exploited some knowledge power differential to lie and trap me on an alien planet that would be the last time i would go to an alien planet with that person, the doctor isn't just incompetent he can't be trusted #monsterdon

"It's not possible for any human form to exist on this planet"

Yet you're dragging your grandkids around it like it's Kew Gardens?

#Monsterdon

How British is that

"Oh, an alien city, let's explore like the Universe is our back garden....."

#Monsterdon

More like a lilium plastcum. #Monsterdon

Comic relief Ian is a bit insufferable. #Monsterdon

Turns out I should’ve ramped my expectations down a few more notches below mediocre after all. I’d heard about for so long that I may have assumed it must have the merits of a good episode of Dr. Who, clever writing in the face of limited budgets and a commitment to making something special despite it all.

But this was mostly an incoherent mess despite some good elements. Alas.

Oh well, still fun to have seen it. Thanks for the fun commentary, everybody!

#monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

@blogdiva "Fascists are stupid looking but dangerous"

This is the lasting appeal of the Daleks I think.

#Monsterdon

@Binder oh boy did they fuck that culture up!

"Susan's Crusade"

#Monsterdon

@LingLass yes he was, a noted entertainer of the old style variety, I remember him from presenting on 80s TV and then rather famously dying of passive smoking from his Clubland days

#Monsterdon #RoyCastle

So, for folks who do #monsterdon regularly, is there a way to get posts quicker? I was getting posts in batches irregularly, and they were *not* all fresh as a freshly-cooked cabbage.

And as the Tardis fades into the sunset we say farewell to this incredibly hackneyed and shitty version of Doctor Who. As always, we have one last task before we leave the theater:

Was DOCTOR WHO AND THE DALEKS (1966) the WORST #monsterdon movie of the year?

Fully expect a Susan based Thaal religion spreading like a holy crusade across the Universe, thus proving you can stop one evil and end up causing another when you fuck about like Dr Who

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon In this movie our heroes learn the evils of war by slaughtering an entire race of war-makers.

Doc, you're pretty stupid in this one. #Monsterdon

aren't we ramping up an entire society for war right now or what is going on with that, isn't scouting an entrance just the first stage of a larger plan or what. what the fuck are the doctor and this little girl doing back here. they spent 15 minutes on this fucking sewer cave plot and they are just going to abandon it for magicing their way in. we aren't even doing anything with the entire setup of the twink society like giving them some underlying value system that might result in their pacificism and affect how they navigate the sewage tunnel and given them unlikely advantages. how do you do so little with what you spend the whole time setting up #monsterdon

@Taweret uh the daleks want to nuke the planet again so that its so radioactive that even the gay elves with their anti-radiation drug will die.

the gay elves and the puny humans want to defeat the daleks by... um... uh... sneaking into the city and breaking their pipes I guess? not quite sure.

#monsterdon

This feels like a Saturday morning cartoon that would be made after Dr. Who became popular

#Monsterdon

the art of simple sabotage

by Doctor Who

#Monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

@SnoopJ he's going to show the darleks themselves in the mirror and let their shame and disgust do the rest #Monsterdon

Daleks: CAN WE PLEASE USE WORDS WITH FEW-ER SYL-A-BLES?

#Monsterdon

Not sure why this movie decided to go all out on the horn music when random things are happening. The orchestra is very excited now that we are climbing a wall next to our matte painting.

#monsterdon

Dr. Who has a mirror-based plan of some sort. it's probably too much to hope for an Archimedes' Heat Ray, huh?

#Monsterdon

Notes on the Thals: they combined all of their fashion creativity into that one cloak the main dude wore, and at all other times they just wear beige Aladdin shirts (for boys) and beige tunic things (for girls).

#monsterdon

The Thal's encampment looks suspiciously like a beach party. If someone pulls out a guitar this thing is over.

#Monsterdon

Oh good, send Captain Pratfall into the swamp. Maybe he'll trip and fall onto a secret entrance. #Monsterdon

Watching Dr. Who and the Daleks in Manhattan during a blizzard.

#Monsterdon

you design your city so a one inch elevator misalignment completely obliterates your ability to move #monsterdon

Difficult to determine who is dumber, the Darleks or the Thaals for trusting the Darleks.
Skaro is a stupid planet.

#Monsterdon

the dalek's most dangerous weapon is an extendo claw with like 3 inches of clearance and even if the little girl puts both her hands directly in it, she can just break out #monsterdon

what is it with europeans and their love of dark, creepy forests?

#Monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

Ha ha ha, a Dalek maid :D #Monsterdon

"If they called us monsters, what must they be like?"

Oh, they're kind of octopus brain eyeball things. It's actually kind of cool :D #Monsterdon

Thanks, Exposition Dalek, but I've seen Genesis of the Daleks already. #Monsterdon

lol "send the child out into the radioactive wasteland"

British childhoods are dark

#Monsterdon

“He will recover shortly.” Oh, that’s unfortunate. #Monsterdon

The Funhouse of the Daleks (S01 E25) #Monsterdon

So how many seconds until the kid experiences Peril™, do you think? #Monsterdon

I gotta say, when I think of the Tardis I do NOT think "conspiracy corkboard yarn, but interior design." #Monsterdon

@jgamble @Terencio I don’t know if I can watch good Dr. Who immediately after that. I might get the bends from the sudden change.

#monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

@blogdiva they're Fash, so 'yes'

#Monsterdon

@Terencio

#Monsterdon

Congratulations?

On the other hand, the Key to Time sequence begins here:

https://youtu.be/O6J6xYB030s

@diazona #monsterdon

"alien shower curtain"... sounds like code name for some weird kink...

"our work here is done we hope you have learned the empowering nature of constant war and uh" #monsterdon

Dalek: DO. YOU. VAPE. BRO?

#monsterdon #DrWhoandTheDaleks

@dilmandila

Paternoster lifts. What they lacked in speed, they made up for in danger.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternoster_lift

#Monsterdon

At least 10% of the dialog in this movie consists of Daleks telling people to do things that are inadvisable.

Like "no don't run away stay here so i can Exterminate you!"

#monsterdon

"We will treasure them"

finds them on ebay in 2026

#MOnsterdon

@moira IN-TOX-I-CATE!

#monsterdon #DrWhoandTheDaleks

"Begin the Countdown"
"100, 99, 98…"
"Oh come on, can't we start a little lower!?"
"Nag, nag, nag… I'll start where I want"

#Monsterdon

WHY is this guy having so much trouble with this RAVINE #monsterdon

wartime production kicked in over the last 4 minutes and we are now a fully equipped and trained battallion of mirror warriors #monsterdon

Everyone is disappointed that Ian made the jump

#monsterdon #DrWhoandTheDaleks

killed by polyester

#Monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

I'm still waiting for a nipple reveal from one of the males, but they just aren't delivering

#Monsterdon

that little one is a total sabotaging queen.

#Monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

This movie is seriously following the original TV series episodes that introduced the Daleks almost to the letter with just a bunch of weird little changes here and there out of the blue and... It pains me to say this, but much crappier effects. It's kind of freaky.

#Monsterdon

As evil and stupid as the Darleks are, they are not as evil and stupid as our evil overlords on Earth

#Monsterdon

This movie's doing a great job of making the Daleks look less competent than the Wet Bandits. Is Ian gonna make them walk over fragile christmas ornaments next? #Monsterdon

The blowtorch Dalek is my favorite

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon If I remember correctly, in the original, they used The Doctor's jacket to insulte the floor. But you can't expect Peter Cushing to damage that fine jacket he's wearing.

@CactuarJoe LEAVE US A A TIP, OR BE EX-TERM-I-NATED #monsterdon

Ach, monkey species, always with the flinging of brown stuff. #Monsterdon

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! #Monsterdon

"there's not reason to suspect the Darlek's good intentions"

lol, you fucking idiot

#Monsterdon

if a magical alien shows up and relayed a treaty between species through my granddaughter, i would probably want to check out the magical alien cloak that made it appear like a floating glowing rock a little before taking a nap under it #monsterdon

AND. THIS IS. OUR. LA-VA LAMP. ROOM.

#Monsterdon

Thanks, @cherizilla

#monsterdon
#DrWhoAndTheDaleks

bro don't disguise yourself as a huge glowing rock if you're trying not to scare little girls in the haunted alien woods #monsterdon

Wow, that's some heavy eyeshadow. #Monsterdon

give this little girl like closed toed shoes if you want to stake the future of your species on her being able to go out and harvest rad juice or whatever it is she's doing #monsterdon

that mod suit is still one of the best stylelines to ever come out of the 1960s British Invasion

#Monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

Props to Susan for doing all these while the adults just flail around uselessly....

#Monsterdon

Hey, get your plunger away from the kid. Who are you, Woody Allen? #Monsterdon

I love how jerky the motions of the Daleks of this era are. It just looks right.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Peter Cushing is throwing serious Lloyd Bridges vibes from Hot Shots...

"let's forage around this city for the mercury we want, which we'll just fucking take because we're British!"

#Monsterdon

Somewhere, someone's only understanding of Doctor Who comes from this movie. And I love that for them.

#Monsterdon

So far the hip opening-credits music is the best part, but I’m on board with the rest. I can see how this will make doctrinaire Whovians nuts, but I’ve heard about the very non-canonical nature of this one. I’m going to meet it on its own mediocre ground.

#monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

isn't dr who basically a god, how can you invent a time machine but also not invent any surveying equipment or even like a readout of where the fuck you are #monsterdon

Following JRPG logic, after wandering through the swamp a bit, we find a Surprise City, which looks like a bit like a detention camp with a wall and some weirdly well-lit towers.

#monsterdon

the janky ass dr who box is incapable of scanning for signs of life like large concentrations of electromagnetic radiation or heat sources or terraforming over some local time window, it just shows up in a random spot and they may or may not discover the massive city right next to where they spawned #monsterdon

i have left every experience of people trying to get me to like dr who bored to tears, so now i guess is another chance to like this thing that everyone else seems to like #monsterdon

After the most 60s introduction sequence possible, we go to a house filled with british fediverse denizens. The daughters are all reading science books while the dad is reading a science fiction comic book.

Then a dude named "Ian" shows up and sits on their cakes and almost sits on the dad's invention, some kind of magic box.

So far this movie seems fine.

#monsterdon

Me: [starts to sit down]

Dr Who:

#doctorwhoandthedaleks1966 #monsterdon

OH FUCK OFF

#Monsterdon

alright you jokers what the hell is this movie #monsterdon

timely that it ends with a mention of the Roman Empire 🧐

#Monsterdon #DrWhoAndTheDaleks

Some ditziness, some luscious color, a stalwart child hero, a mess of a final 10 minutes. Overall, a very fun #Monsterdon time--glad to have seen it. Thanks, @Taweret, @Cherizilla and @JoeWynne for the flashbacks.

@Terencio lol, it's all that, even now, lots of physical comedy #MOnsterdon

@Terencio Oh no. That's like saying Taco Bell is your first exposure to Mexican food.

#monsterdon

I'm wondering if this was supposed to be a Doctor Who prequel, with Peter Cushing as the First Doctor maybe? Probably not, but maybe?

#monsterdon

The guy who played Ian had second billing. Was he a familiar physical comedian of the time? #Monsterdon

it wasn't the 'Butlerian Jihad', it was 'Susan's Crusade'

#Monsterdon

My main takeaway is always remember to keep some spare mercury on hand. #Monsterdon

Ian, get in the fucking box -_-; #Monsterdon