She hates that tree #devilgirlfrommars #monsterdon

Oh, that's a good robot, though. #monsterdon

Enter: Johnny the robot, a real let-down

#monsterdon

@jonny I'm in your camp on this.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@lytta if they had just had a bigass war of the sexes then it seems like willing and submissive participant would be the only way you would survive and probably live a decent life on mars, like 'hey i am not like the other men you just killed all of i am here to learn and stuff from the lesbian overworld' #monsterdon

aaand we are waiting...

It's a remote garage door opener!

#monsterdon

Now watch the power of another world!

nothing happens for 15s

a door opens

another door opens in the other direction

wooooowwwwwwwwwww

#monsterdon

/me watches the power of another world

...nothing happens...

...nothing happens...

a door opens

That took some intense concentration though

#Monsterdon

Yup, that's the original all right! Monsterdon films are all full of side stories going on in the background more interesting than the main action.

#monsterdon

"Good lord! There's a UFO outside, I completely forgot. Oh bother the professor looks a little scuffed."
#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Wow this is a whole lot of talking by people I could not give less of a shit about

#monsterdon

The #DevilGirlFromMars also explains that she put up an invisible wall around the sad inn, so that we don't have to cast too many extras in this film, and that she vaporized the balding fireplace guy, because he wasn't hot enough to make a good sex slave.

Also, the fancy lady was eavesdropping on this conversation, suggesting she has some kind of plan or insight. Or not, with #monsterdon movies who knows?

#monsterdon The Devil Woman didn't even bring up snu-snu. I'm bereft. We were banking on snu-snu! Fine, back to the lonely box of Kleenex then…

How convenient for Devil Girl to leave the scene so we can get more dull exposition about these characters' supposed "back stories" (air quotes)

#monsterdon

I really want to slap the Journalist

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I set up an invisible wall. A wall of Vinyl! Like the popular siding on homes in about 30 years or so. This is special Vinyl, it's made with UNOBTAINIUM!

Look, they've got 3 perfectly serviceable guns on the wall

#monsterdon

Instead of violence, Nyah should just ask for volunteers, she would get way more than she could fit in her saucer and she could pick the best

#monsterdon

Let's go Johnny5!

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

she's gonna spank someone, isn't she?

#monsterdon

Is suit lady checking out the Devil Girl?
Lady Darth Vader is here looking for hot singles in her area.
#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Okay, so the #DevilGirlFromMars talks to them in English, explaining that she is from Mars, has learned our language from the radio, and that she was trying to go to London but crashed here because of a navigation error. Also she has a robot boy with her named "Johny", who I will assume looks like the tricycle robot boy from Chrono Trigger until proven otherwise.

#monsterdon

Biology also doesn't work like that

#monsterdon

"Many of your Earth years ago..."

I love this.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Back at the bar, we are using a phone to try to call the authorities, I guess we went to retrieve a phone and hooked it up to the line here. While failing to troubleshoot this technical difficulty, the astronomer and the driver notice another driver issue... the barmaid seems to have frozen up completely, and no control+alt+delete button is visible. Oh no! Worse yet, the #DevilGirlFromMars has just walked into the door. Oh no!

#monsterdon

"Johnny is a mechanical man"

Fully functional is he? wink wink

#monsterdon

She's really more of a devil lady.

#Monsterdon

she is being VERY forthcoming with her answers!

#monsterdon

She's a Sith Lord!

#Monsterdon

"You men on Earth are much as we expected"

Yep,....

#monsterdon

I see a Blinky Light! ✅ #monsterdon

PARALYSIS! AT THE PUB! #monsterdon

#monsterdon RAY GUN ZAP

(let's leave unexamined why that weapon appears to have vaporized the character and his clothes but not his glasses.)

"My god, a ....WOMAN!"

Monster music comes on

Vaporises first Terran she sees.

Iconic

HAIL MARS!

#monsterdon

Due to tecnnical issues, tonight's film, "Devil Girl from Mars", will be replaced by "Escaped Convict from Storage Room".

Now, with more kissing.

#Monsterdon

Hobie was very upset the ship is still making noises

#monsterdon

Is it just me, or is this guy bald and they glued a brillo pad to his head?

#monsterdon

this seems like a weird conversation to be having right now seeing as aliens just landed right outside

#monsterdon

The flirting in the barn is yellow hot, it'll be at least 2 hours before we can approach

#monsterdon

aliens just landed outside

did they all forget that?

#monsterdon

You'll be WAAAAY safer in a pub with a UFO outside it than in a car for 7 miles with that creep. #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

okay, the dumbass journo at least has the correct idea - get the f out of there and dump the problem in someone else's lap. #monsterdon

@arrjay it's a coping mechanism #monsterdon

Really think that Murderer plot is getting shoehorned in unless he's going to make a Redemption Sacrifice later

#monsterdon

More like a LANDING saucer, amirite? #Monsterdon

Professor, how the heck are you making this BORING?!?!? #Monsterdon

This professor is just making up shit. He’s got no clue wtf is happening. #Monsterdon

She's overheating captain! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👿 👧 🤖 🪐 🚀 🌏 👀 🕴️ 🕴️ 😱

I was lead to believe that this is a movie in which nothing happens but Things Have Happened

"It's like something from another planet!"

"You mean, like, Guernsey?"

#monsterdon

Enter the loudest, lowest-tech flying saucer to appear in any movie!

#monsterdon

OMG, they keep doing it, is it intentional?

#monsterdon

The plot of #DevilGirlFromMars thickens, but only slightly, when the astronomer guy decides to flirt with the fancy lady by telling her about his newspaper column and trying to discover her mystery (why she is here in this town), which he fails at. Also they talk about scotch as the driver also decides to flirt with the fancy lady, as a flash of light that might be a spaceship appears in the background. #monsterdon

See kids, back in the days before google maps, you had to get out of your car every so often with a flashlight to see a crossroads sign. #monsterdon

Weird. The matron of the establishment is wearing the table cloth and the table is wearing her dress

#monsterdon

A Scottish man with a drinking problem! How very droll.

#monsterdon

I hope this guy is a Professor of Mars-ology. That could come in handy. #devilgirlfrommars #monsterdon

Street sign for The Bonnie Charlie. I love this area.

#Monsterdon

Mr Jamieson has many problems....

#monsterdon

Wait is this an ACTUAL night scene shot at night? The rarest of #monsterdon unicorns

It’s like they made a movie about the Scottish countryside and shoehorned a girl from mars into it. #Monsterdon

Mr Jamieson has spyholes in that ladies' room, doesn't he? And Mrs Jamieson just lets it happen....

#monsterdon

"How did they treat you in there?"

"How did they treat me in PRISON, Doris? They took away MY ACCENT, DORIS, can't you hear that?"

#Monsterdon

so far so soap opera

#monsterdon

#monsterdon And I'm gonna fluff the coal pile, so no sticky leavings! You people with your coal fetishes!

Counting the spoons... Ohhh ok

#monsterdon

Oh, it starts with a UFO/UAP/Drone (well, meteor) panic?

#monsterdon

You're not a meteor. #monsterdon

Damn, this guy is v. well dressed for an escaped convict

#monsterdon

according to movies something spooky always happens when you go to scotland

#monsterdon

Hell yeah another gigantic, extravagant "local pub"

#Monsterdon

The stars are not millions of miles apart.....

#monsterdon

Inverness Scotland! My home town!

(not really ...)

#monsterdon

The rumors that *nothing* happens? Immediately proven wrong by plane explosion and meteor. 10/10 so far #monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

was that a boeing plane? #TooSoon #monsterdon

did that plane just explode?

#monsterdon

Representing Lemmy for #monsterdon !

#monsterdon

@homelessjun@mas.to she does kind of have the right eyelashes and demeanor for a romulan. #monsterdon

could nyah actually be vulcan or romulan, #monsterdon ???

@combatwombat teeheehee

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe It seemed that a number of Martians thought Nyah was going to be unsuccessful, but she went anyway. Maybe she liked to think they didn't have faith in her organic metal ship* but I think the other Martians thought her people skills were extremely weak. Or maybe they didn't think Earth men would be sufficiently biologically compatible. Anyway, I think maybe they TOLD Nyah not to go but she went anyway, to prove them wrong, and because she just WANTED to dominate and this situation was what she could use as an excuse. On the other hand, maybe they expected her ship would blow up or those sneaky Earthlings would blow her ship up, or maybe she'd actually bring back some Earthlings and they'd turn out to help them spawn some Mar-lings after all. #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@anarchopinko This whole thing was definitely weird in one way or another

#Monsterdon

@diazona That's my whole deal ^^ #Monsterdon

@steggy @Infoseepage @paco That makes me queasy just thinking about it. #Monsterdon

@combatwombat thank you!

#Monsterdon

...Your *actual literal* gangplank I mean, the one on your UFO. That's not a metaphor. #Monsterdon

@blogdiva Not to be overly pedantic, but wouldn't he be the dispensor, not the receptical?

#Monsterdon

@north It's not actually a disintegration beam. They're just pushing it into the fourth dimension.

#monsterdon

@anarchopinko wait WHAT

I thought they mysteriously fell in love over the course of like two hours... if they were actually married they did a spectacularly bad job of showing it

(The innkeeper couple was married, I think)

#Monsterdon

@Infoseepage @paco @ramsey vas deferens probe

#Monsterdon

i just noticed there's a colourized version of this on archive.org. did anyone watch that copy? #monsterdon

@paco Devil Girl from Mars, the Pedometer Cut. #Monsterdon

@blogdiva I love how this equation starts with Wuthering Heights

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@TerryHancock maybe for this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXCpTEwclgk

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@SordidAmok Maybe so. Or maybe people (women) try harder to look younger now? Or are better at it? So it throws off the calibration 🤷 Personally I kind of doubt that it's even possible to guess ages all that accurately, maybe unless you're *really* well trained, but I dunno.

I'm sure somebody knows about these things.

#Monsterdon

@apLundell time to establish #PubMovieDon for sundays at 10:30

#monsterdon

Thanks @Taweret for another fun night! :)

#Monsterdon

Next week: The whips & chains ladies of Jupiter?

#Monsterdon