There is absolutely no way the Professor knows any part of London besides his office and the closest pub #Monsterdon

This would be so great adapted for the stage with some more comedy added lmao #Monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

"When you get to London, you will need a guide."

Dude knows that tourists will never figure out how to use the Tube or the loos.

#monsterdon

I mean she just announced she's going to murder you

maybe run? idk

#monsterdon

@Ranjit I just do not understand why the Terrans are resisting?! #monsterdon

So the #DevilGirlFromMars decides its time to kidnap the professor; the fancy lady objects that she is in love with the professor. He goes with her, then tries to double cross her by stealing the fork of robot control, but then she uses her otherwise useless hypnosis power to steal it back from her.

Mad at this rebellion, she announces that she will blow up the inn and kill everyone in it as soon as her spaceship is repaired. #monsterdon

if Devil Lady is smart, she'll take the bar lady. she has terrible taste in men and needs to get the hell out of this podunk town anyway #monsterdon

I'm sorry, all of this for... one man?

I feel like this would be better if it were some sort of demon hassling a medieval village

#monsterdon

i, for one, welcome our new devil girl overlords

#monsterdon

You can tell by my raised eyebrow that I tell the truth!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon "have you tried punching the reactor? it sounds plausible in theory"

Failed Dildo-snatch!
#monsterdon

I love the robot so much

he's my friend

#monsterdon

This movie is a self-propagating atomic pile

#monsterdon

#monsterdon YOINK

The time has come, the Devil Girl said,
To talk of many things:
Of shoes, and ships, and bikini wax,
Of cabbages, and kings
And why she's so smoking hot
And whether pigs have wings

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

good-bye, Bargain Bin Newsman. #monsterdon

“It is time, Earth man.”

*boing!

#Monsterdon

Okay, so in this movie the #DevilGirlFromMars has this hypnosis power that lets her lock up people or mind control them, but it seems extremely finicky and unreliable. Anyway, now she uses it to make the murderer say creepy things and then fistfight... the professor? who I thought was her slave already? I'm not sure why they're doing this? Maybe all will be revealed? #monsterdon

look movie, no one cares about these guys

#monsterdon

Kinda proving the Martian Lady's point about the violence inherent in Terran culture....

#monsterdon

This fight scene belongs in a better movie. Or at least one where we care about the stakes more

#monsterdon

Tommy grew up to be a squadie. He was killed by an IRA bomb in 1971

#monsterdon

@paco @srol It's not like they haven't seen the Earth before, it's the blue one close to the Sun.... #monsterdon

Again, Albert is not hypnotized or under any kind of psychic power. He is in full possession of his faculties and voluntarily submitting

#Monsterdon

Oh no she's an actual groomer. 😬

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

While we were learning Basic Flying Saucer Science 101, the other pub goers were preparing a trap where they would electrocute the #DevilGirlFromMars on her return. It doesn't work and she just throws the wires down and calls them fools. Then she threatens to kill the child hostage if they keep messing with her, and turns all blurry to demonstrate her power and glory. #monsterdon

This is like Home Alone if Kevin was a bunch of adults and Joe Pesci was a leggy dame who has no time for this trap shit

#Monsterdon

I hope everyone is having a fun #Monsterdon while I'm at THE PLAZA! Almost time for my super special secret spa treatment - I hear it is to die for!

"Look, she's going all blurry!"

"How much have we been drinking? Was anyone keeping track?"

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

#Monsterdon this is the second time she's commanded them to "Come!"

:neocat_blush:

wow they still had those stalk phones in the 1950s or are they tryna say Scotland is underdeveloped and technologically backwards?

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

You fools! You foolish fools!

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

To put some science sounding words in this film, the #DevilGirlFromMars tells the professor how her spaceship works and what its made out of... I guess its powered by a perpetual motion machine, which the professor says is nonsense, leading the martian lady to scoff at him.

#monsterdon

"radio and television being considered impossible 100 years ago" in a 1950s movie is an interesting choice.

(see eg: Maxwell's equations being worked out in 1865, and photography to an extent that made movies conceivable around then)

#monsterdon

shit-splaining shop talk about the engines and power systems, very British sci-fi

#monsterdon

this is the best dull low-plot, high-exposition #monsterdon movie yet because we can all just stare at Naia

#monsterdon

2024 and we still don't have 'organic metal' spaceships, once again the Martian Lady is right!

Puny Earthers!

#monsterdon

Right, "organic metal" gives you arbitrarily high heat capacity. And technobabble about nuclear power.

#monsterdon

this is great

but imagine if there was a plot

#monsterdon

OVER 6,000 SEMANTICS? My god, your debates must be INSANE!

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

After terrifying the pubgoers with her awkward robot, the #DevilGirlFromMars meets the boy and the murderer... because she's a weirdo she decides to kidnap the child and hypnotize the adult to crawl back into the inn. Beware of martians with candy in their flying saucer, kids, beware.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"It amuses me to watch your puny efforts"

This lady makes an entrance

#monsterdon

"Come. I will show you wonders you have never seen before.

"This is my XBox, and this is my Switch, and this is my PS5."

#monsterdon

Mind control!

This Devil Girl has all the superpowers covered, huh

#Monsterdon

A thing I like about #DevilGirlFromMars is the villain's goofy evil smirk whenever anything mildly threatening happens. #monsterdon

Seriously this movie is way too sexually charged for this kid.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

This death ray is tedious #Monsterdon

Child speaks

"You speak in riddles"

They do!

#monsterdon

@allanb Chekhov would be so disappointed...

#monsterdon

Did the robot just blow up the barn? RUDE. Robot is a dick.
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Thank goodness. That tree was hideous.

I want to give this robot a hug, it's adorable. #Monsterdon

what is the sound effect of the robot's face gun? was that like a seal call????? #monsterdon

how cute, her martian wardrobe can walk around!
#monsterdon

Oh, that's a good robot, though. #monsterdon

Enter: Johnny the robot, a real let-down

#monsterdon

@jonny I'm in your camp on this.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@lytta if they had just had a bigass war of the sexes then it seems like willing and submissive participant would be the only way you would survive and probably live a decent life on mars, like 'hey i am not like the other men you just killed all of i am here to learn and stuff from the lesbian overworld' #monsterdon

aaand we are waiting...

It's a remote garage door opener!

#monsterdon

Now watch the power of another world!

nothing happens for 15s

a door opens

another door opens in the other direction

wooooowwwwwwwwwww

#monsterdon

Yup, that's the original all right! Monsterdon films are all full of side stories going on in the background more interesting than the main action.

#monsterdon

"Good lord! There's a UFO outside, I completely forgot. Oh bother the professor looks a little scuffed."
#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Wow this is a whole lot of talking by people I could not give less of a shit about

#monsterdon

The #DevilGirlFromMars also explains that she put up an invisible wall around the sad inn, so that we don't have to cast too many extras in this film, and that she vaporized the balding fireplace guy, because he wasn't hot enough to make a good sex slave.

Also, the fancy lady was eavesdropping on this conversation, suggesting she has some kind of plan or insight. Or not, with #monsterdon movies who knows?

#monsterdon The Devil Woman didn't even bring up snu-snu. I'm bereft. We were banking on snu-snu! Fine, back to the lonely box of Kleenex then…

How convenient for Devil Girl to leave the scene so we can get more dull exposition about these characters' supposed "back stories" (air quotes)

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I set up an invisible wall. A wall of Vinyl! Like the popular siding on homes in about 30 years or so. This is special Vinyl, it's made with UNOBTAINIUM!

Look, they've got 3 perfectly serviceable guns on the wall

#monsterdon

Instead of violence, Nyah should just ask for volunteers, she would get way more than she could fit in her saucer and she could pick the best

#monsterdon

Let's go Johnny5!

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

she's gonna spank someone, isn't she?

#monsterdon

Is suit lady checking out the Devil Girl?
Lady Darth Vader is here looking for hot singles in her area.
#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Okay, so the #DevilGirlFromMars talks to them in English, explaining that she is from Mars, has learned our language from the radio, and that she was trying to go to London but crashed here because of a navigation error. Also she has a robot boy with her named "Johny", who I will assume looks like the tricycle robot boy from Chrono Trigger until proven otherwise.

#monsterdon

Biology also doesn't work like that

#monsterdon

"Many of your Earth years ago..."

I love this.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"Johnny is a mechanical man"

Fully functional is he? wink wink

#monsterdon

She's really more of a devil lady.

#Monsterdon

she is being VERY forthcoming with her answers!

#monsterdon

She's a Sith Lord!

#Monsterdon

"You men on Earth are much as we expected"

Yep,....

#monsterdon

I see a Blinky Light! ✅ #monsterdon

PARALYSIS! AT THE PUB! #monsterdon

#monsterdon RAY GUN ZAP

(let's leave unexamined why that weapon appears to have vaporized the character and his clothes but not his glasses.)

"My god, a ....WOMAN!"

Monster music comes on

Vaporises first Terran she sees.

Iconic

HAIL MARS!

#monsterdon

Due to tecnnical issues, tonight's film, "Devil Girl from Mars", will be replaced by "Escaped Convict from Storage Room".

Now, with more kissing.

#Monsterdon

Hobie was very upset the ship is still making noises

#monsterdon

Is it just me, or is this guy bald and they glued a brillo pad to his head?

#monsterdon

this seems like a weird conversation to be having right now seeing as aliens just landed right outside

#monsterdon

aliens just landed outside

did they all forget that?

#monsterdon

You'll be WAAAAY safer in a pub with a UFO outside it than in a car for 7 miles with that creep. #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@arrjay it's a coping mechanism #monsterdon

Really think that Murderer plot is getting shoehorned in unless he's going to make a Redemption Sacrifice later

#monsterdon

More like a LANDING saucer, amirite? #Monsterdon

Professor, how the heck are you making this BORING?!?!? #Monsterdon

This professor is just making up shit. He’s got no clue wtf is happening. #Monsterdon

She's overheating captain! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👿 👧 🤖 🪐 🚀 🌏 👀 🕴️ 🕴️ 😱

I was lead to believe that this is a movie in which nothing happens but Things Have Happened

"It's like something from another planet!"

"You mean, like, Guernsey?"

#monsterdon