Tommy might be better off on Mars, considering what we know Thatcher is going to do to the UK

#monsterdon

ooh devil girl hypno eyes

#monsterdon

"I will show you wonders you have never seen before"

go on...

#monsterdon

She doesn't have any psychic powers, she's just a dom

#Monsterdon

This kid grew up with some weird fetishes from this.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

How can you not love this robot?
You could probably make your own if you had a big cardboard refrigerator box with an inverted stew pot for a head. #monsterdon

It's so CUTE! #monsterdon

NO not the last tree!

#monsterdon

Observe as I demonstrate powers of another world!

<Triggers garage door opener>

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Meanwhile, the driver ran into the invisible ball and hurt his head. The #DevilGirlFromMars then walks in to taunt them and the professor points a gun at her. She ignores his threats and the bullets from the gun, then walks up to him and taunts him with more "fools I have powers beyond your understanding!" type lines. Good for her. #monsterdon

I keep expecting her to say, “Kneel before Zod!"

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"Today you will learn the power of Mars"

Show them Lady, show the Terran scum!

#monsterdon

A being from Mars has landed and trapped them all and they're all "But will I ever find true love?" wth #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"Really, the Martian saucer is about me"

just fuck off

#monsterdon

More brazen than even the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, the #DevilGirlFromMars explains Martian history and her evil plan - the Martians had a war of the sexes that wiped out most of the men, and so she need to kidnap some earth boys to repopulate mars. Also I guess wars like this are common in space, who knew.

I guess because the 1950s was a different time, the earth boys are not immediately lining up to be subjugated but are instead feigning unhappiness at this.

#monsterdon

"She's come from Mars."

"Oh that'll mean another bed."

#Monsterdon 🚀 #DevilGirlFromMars

oh! Robert killed someone but he ain’t got hanged? that’s cuz it’s Scotland?

omg they really are trying to make this a story with a plot and shit. those brits.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"may i introduce your latex guest... er LATEST guest"

#monsterdon

Imagine if hours before D-Day somebody wondered into a bar near Calais giving away the whole plan, this lady should keep quiet....or is it her Martian arrogance?

#monsterdon

Dungeon Mistress from Mars?

#monsterdon

No word of a lie that's how I want to make an entrance into a pub.....

#monsterdon

After the flying saucer cools down and stops spinning, we get some goofy drums and horns as the long-awaited, titular #DevilGirlFromMars descends from its landing ramp and stares at things like Kim Jong Il at a tuna canning factory.

She is greeted by the balding fireplace guy, who panics upon seeing her; she responds to this by smirking and then vaporizing him with a ray gun. RIP fireplace guy, RIP.

#monsterdon

marooned in the highlands with… meteors

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Wuthering Heights, but make it illegal martian aliens

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Unaware that the murderboyfriend and the fancy lady know each other, the bar maid confesses her love to the murder boy, tries to get him a room full of junk and broken furniture to stay in, and ponders absconding with him to abroad (he suggests Ireland, because you don't need a passport to go there I guess).

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

She reveals her moustache fetish

#monsterdon

After some conversation, we decide that the flying saucer is still very hot, so we're waiting for it to cool down, and I guess that's why its spinning. Somebody goes to find the nearest phone, which is in a nearby village; I too hate it when I leave my phone in a nearby village.

In another conversation, we learn that the murder guy knows the fancy lady from the past, but I'm not sure from where.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

they really want us to know it was produced by

THE DANZINGERS

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"Devil Girl from Mars"

Our story so far: no devil. no girl. no Mars.

#Monsterdon

I wonder what Devil Girl is doing right now? #monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

okey dockey, i see we start with a literal BANG! so far, so good.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"I've never hurt anyone in my life...on purpose."

Hell of a qualifier for a murderer.

#monsterdon

As we settle down to eat a large urn of soup together, the escaped convict barges in and is immediately identified by the guests as an escaped convict. However, he is saved from Scotland Yard by a loud noise that turns out to be a Gigantic Glowing and Spinning Flying Saucer, that everyone stops to look at. Erecting its landing dildos and shooting fireworks everywhere for no reason, it settles on the moor and then decides to spin, glow and whir for a while longer

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Are they setting up a journalist to be the hero? Ridiculous.

#monsterdon

This is an unusual meteor, but it’s cute. :) #monsterdon

Characters so far in this #monsterdon :
Bar Boss Lady
Barmaid Dating a Murderer
the Murderer
Bald Firewood Guy
Fancy Lady
Astronomer Guy
Driver Guy
Fisherman Guy
A Child

So far the titular #DevilGirlFromMars has yet to appear...

*Inside Lady Guest's head

"Just Fuck Off"

#monsterdon

Is "extraordinary" British for kind of rude?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The lady is a walking talking Sears Catalog. Lets just flip through all the boring bits until we get to the underwear models! YEEEHA!

dang it, my puter,crapped out.
le siiiiigh.

waiting for the reboot.

#monsterdon

After talking about the cool meteor that is probably a flying saucer, the news guy tells us about an escaped criminal, who we then see skulking by the road. He then wanders into the pub, where a younger barmaid is his girlfriend or something, so he visits her to hide out from the cops. The boss lady is suspicious of him, but the two of them spin up a story quick enough to appease her and get him a job as a bar worker. #monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@Taweret Their main export is ghosts

#Monsterdon

Are THESE the men the Devil Woman is coming to collect?

...No accounting for taste, I guess. #Monsterdon

I refuse to believe that anyone in England actually talks like that.

#monsterdon

launching my #monsterdon thread for #DevilGirlFromMars, a movie in which I think Earth is invaded by a thirsty martian dominatrix.

Monsterdon is the thing each week where we watch an old monster movie and make fun of it. Mute the hash tag if that sounds boring to you, otherwise, follow along and enjoy the flood of posts.

is there a link for #monsterdon ??? i'm new to this but want to watch!

#monsterdon GOGOGOGOGOGOGO

@homelessjun You'd have to look past the obvious piece of evidence that she claims to be from Mars (and speaks perfect English so one would assume she knows what Mars is)

but otherwise idk

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

@jonny Hmm yeah I caught the bit about testing the metal, but I assumed it passed its test since it managed to land on Earth in the first place. Plus if we wanna get technical, it definitely looked like an explosion rather than a hull disintegration. (Because *of course* this movie holds up to that level of critical analysis 🙄)

Though I suppose either way there will be more spaceships

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb I mean, for all appearances, from space, Earth looks pretty much like a water world, so yeah, I'm going with the aliens in Signs, on this one. #Monsterdon

OK, ALL posts from @floatybirb just arrived all at once on my TL. Does this delay happen to anyone else?

#monsterdon

@blogdiva DAMN she's amazing

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

anyway good job again team and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@apLundell they should remake the TV show "Cheers"

Except in Scotland

And Rebecca is from Mars

#Monsterdon

A lot of people I follow are part of #Monsterdon

@Lazarou @Cherizilla lol yeah that one's practically free

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

@ramsey I dunno mate. Seems a wee dodgy.
#monsterdon
@steggy

No judgment if that is your thing. You hit the jackpot, dude! #monsterdon

@Taweret Nyah should have taken me! I've got my own selection of gas masks!

#monsterdon

@moira @combatwombat This is going to be a great meme template

#Monsterdon

wait these 2 were married this entire time?
don't get me wrong
i got romance vibes from the alcohol conversation
but married? huh?
#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@steggy @paco If the Martian technology is as advanced as she claimed, I'm sure they could figure out a way to reproduce without any dicks.

#Monsterdon

I think you could make a pretty good supercut of just them walking back and forth in the forest. What do people do for video editing on Linux? #monsterdon

So, I've finished #Monsterdon, despite the weird audio/video mismatch I had (don't know how that happened).

This movie had quite good FX/models, sound effects, music, and even the costumes.

But yet again we see how a bad script can just ruin it all. This was the most boring movie. Even some clever dialog writing could've made it better. But this was just dull.

We should cut a music video out of it -- it'd be more watchable. "Planet Claire" maybe..?

@diazona @SordidAmok Honestly it's sunscreen! It's just so ubiquitous now and it wasn't at all then, and sun is the biggest driver of aging skin (two other big drivers common in the 50's were alcohol and smoking).

#Monsterdon

@paco *viable sperm

i'm pretty sure the robots are fully functional

#monsterdon

@YsengrinWolf @Taweret@octodon.social "Silence! Puny Earthmen!"
Love it!

#monsterdon

Next week let’s watch a movie that doesn’t need a safe word.

#Monsterdon

Big thanks to @Taweret for tonight's film; it was certainly entertaining! Once Devil Girl loosened up, you could tell she was having a ball playing the campy space villain.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@sean more women, more mars! #monsterdon

I look forward to the sequel, Devil Girl From Mars 2: Electric Boogaloo!

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

honestly you actually could stage this thing

there's a better play than this to be made about a bunch of characters forced into a bizarre situation like this

(see also five characters in search of an exit, which I was on crew for _as a stage play_, a one-act. it worked great.)

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Good #Monsterdon start to the New Year. Thanks, @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for #MonsterdonBingo, and everyone for the laughs!

@paco Plot? What plot?

#monsterdon

@allanb @Taweret Yeah, I'm not sure even a Cullen crossover can save this one for me.

#monsterdon

That had to be one of the most boring sci-fi thrillers I have seen

#monsterdon

Thanks to @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting this oddity!

Snark aside, the ending wasn't *that* bad. Just how we got there.

#monsterdon

Lmao a happy light comedy ending after Doris's boyfriend fucking dies! Great work everyone

#Monsterdon

Oh no they died on their way back to their home planet (Mars)

#Monsterdon

The first #Monsterdon of 2025 is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight we watched #DevilGirlFromMars, from 1954, where a leather-clad alien, armed with a ray gun and a robot, comes to Earth to collect Earth's men as breeding stock. This attempt at interplanetary Tinder provided all manner of fun, including:

I wonder if guys in the 60's reminisced about adolescent fantasies involving Devil Girl the same way guys in the 80's did about Princess Leia's bikini

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Nice effect! #devilgirlfrommars #monsterdon

That was a far, far better explosion that this movie had any right to contain

#monsterdon

AND THE BEYBLADES ARE AWAY WHO WILL IN THIS MATCH?!

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Oh, there's a fight scene for no reason.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Dear movie: these characters are not interesting enough for us to give a flying Raisinette about all this self-introspection-in-the-face-of-immenent-death

We. Don’t. Care.

#Monsterdon

I do like the UFO's stubby little legs. Cute. #Monsterdon

Wish they'd killed the Journalist instead of the Working Class Dude but it's kinda accurate how things are in Britain, seeing as everyone in this film is White.

#monsterdon

Gotta warm up the belt sander before liftoff. #Monsterdon

People have to have a reason to kill someone? Did you see her no-scope Torgo?!?! #monsterdon

All these tepid romance scenes could have been better spent showing the leather-clad Martian babe punching the asshole reporter in the dick. #Monsterdon

urrrghhhh, 'Terran drama'

I grow weary of this world and the slightly aggressive way they kiss...

#monsterdon

when you get into the spaceship, you have to _punch the nuclear reactor_. do you understand? _punch_ the _reactor_.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

All these men want to go be the Martian lady's sex slave so bad. 😂

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

“Molecules can reproduce themselves” #Monsterdon

I have a theory about why Ellen has had so much trouble with men.
#Monsterdon

Octavia butler was astounded by this? like it's bad and all but' on the monsterdon scale it's pretty mid

#monsterdon

Nobody kisses like that anymore. #Monsterdon