@Taweret I learned a lot about all of you tonight.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@Cherizilla Wait... when the convict destroyed the ship, isn't that "an unexpected ally"? #monsterdon

I'm not sure I followed the plot, so lemme see if I get it:

#monsterdon

@SRLevine also they can't be that advanced if a hairless ape can figure out the ship and how to make it explode

#monsterdon

I give #DevilGirlFromMars 3/5 metal sticks of robot control. The best part was the alien space dominatrix with her icy threats and subdued smirk. The worst part was the puny earthlings who dared to defy her wrath.

The flying saucer was nice because it was loud and stupid, the rectangular robot was fine, but not as cool as Johnny from Chrono Trigger, who is also a tricycle. The plot had almost the expected level of horny for the premise.

#monsterdon

The Martian Mistress deserves her own erotic fanfic

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe EXACTLY

SAME BAR BETTER MOVIE

note I did not say good

just

better

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I'll say this, that was like a million times better than Visitor from Venus. #Monsterdon

what if that wasn't an explosion but just what warp drive looks like

she'll come back in half an hour to vapourize the pub and everyone in it

#monsterdon

#monsterdon This is actually the precursor to the movie Dog Soldiers, about Scottish Werewolves. God that would be a perfectly inane tie-in. The Devil Woman Form Mars brought werewolves to Scotland.

She forgot to the destroy the pub and everyone inside!

#monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

I kinda like the explosion they totally did that in water

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Yep, mid-air explosion. I guess the punch landed.

#monsterdon

oh nice effect tho

#monsterdon

...I've not seen any pegging...any cock spin....what kind of kink show is this?!

#monsterdon

I'm surprised the Brits reproduce at all after watching this, it's all narrative

#monsterdon

We get an amusing interlude where the driver guy tries to convince the #DevilGirlFromMars that she'll need a guide to conquer London; she decides that he maybe has a point but doesn't trust him specifically (he already tried to kill her twice), and so she'll pick someone else to be her guide later.

Spurned, he retires to his room to ponder some scientific way of destroying the flying saucer. #monsterdon

She went from "you all die" to "one of you will live" rather quickly. She's just fucking with them. She just likes to watch them squirm. #monsterdon

"I'm 26, and in all those years, I never got to do a single thing I wanted to do"

"And what would you do if you could start all over again?"

"Punk rock. Macrame. Competitive tiddly winks."

#monsterdon

I’m 26, in all those years….

OMFG You’re killing me!

#monsterdon

Typical scientist - ready to betray humanity at the drop of a hat.

#monsterdon

If you want an ass-whoopin’ come to pub in next 13 minutes!

#devilgirlfrommars #monsterdon

If they ever remade this movie, Wendie Malick would have made a great Nyah.

#monsterdon

Lady, just kill them all now and be done with their Earth Trickery, we've all got our little scams going on down here...

#monsterdon

"This house and everyone in it will be destroyed"

"Soo.....we can just....leave the house....??"

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

British men fight like drunk twinks

#monsterdon

is he actually saying they need to punch the reactor?

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I WUV U!!!
{{HUGS}}

#monsterdon

christ what is the point of this kid's narrative?

#monsterdon

She really is putting a lot of effort into impressing a few people in a Scottish bar.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"you Fools"

Love how this lady makes an entrance

"...or I shall destroy the Child"

Classic

then she teleports, mocking the Humans again.

I have sworn fealty to this lady's style

#monsterdon

Tommy might be better off on Mars, considering what we know Thatcher is going to do to the UK

#monsterdon

ooh devil girl hypno eyes

#monsterdon

"I will show you wonders you have never seen before"

go on...

#monsterdon

She doesn't have any psychic powers, she's just a dom

#Monsterdon

This kid grew up with some weird fetishes from this.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

How can you not love this robot?
You could probably make your own if you had a big cardboard refrigerator box with an inverted stew pot for a head. #monsterdon

It's so CUTE! #monsterdon

NO not the last tree!

#monsterdon

"Now puny Earth men, watch the power of another world...."

Door very slowly opens, very slowly......

Oh my, and we thought the Aztec Mummy Robot was shit.

#monsterdon

Observe as I demonstrate powers of another world!

<Triggers garage door opener>

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Meanwhile, the driver ran into the invisible ball and hurt his head. The #DevilGirlFromMars then walks in to taunt them and the professor points a gun at her. She ignores his threats and the bullets from the gun, then walks up to him and taunts him with more "fools I have powers beyond your understanding!" type lines. Good for her. #monsterdon

I keep expecting her to say, “Kneel before Zod!"

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"Today you will learn the power of Mars"

Show them Lady, show the Terran scum!

#monsterdon

A being from Mars has landed and trapped them all and they're all "But will I ever find true love?" wth #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"Really, the Martian saucer is about me"

just fuck off

#monsterdon

More brazen than even the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, the #DevilGirlFromMars explains Martian history and her evil plan - the Martians had a war of the sexes that wiped out most of the men, and so she need to kidnap some earth boys to repopulate mars. Also I guess wars like this are common in space, who knew.

I guess because the 1950s was a different time, the earth boys are not immediately lining up to be subjugated but are instead feigning unhappiness at this.

#monsterdon

"She's come from Mars."

"Oh that'll mean another bed."

#Monsterdon 🚀 #DevilGirlFromMars

oh! Robert killed someone but he ain’t got hanged? that’s cuz it’s Scotland?

omg they really are trying to make this a story with a plot and shit. those brits.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"may i introduce your latex guest... er LATEST guest"

#monsterdon

Dungeon Mistress from Mars?

#monsterdon

No word of a lie that's how I want to make an entrance into a pub.....

#monsterdon

After the flying saucer cools down and stops spinning, we get some goofy drums and horns as the long-awaited, titular #DevilGirlFromMars descends from its landing ramp and stares at things like Kim Jong Il at a tuna canning factory.

She is greeted by the balding fireplace guy, who panics upon seeing her; she responds to this by smirking and then vaporizing him with a ray gun. RIP fireplace guy, RIP.

#monsterdon

marooned in the highlands with… meteors

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Unaware that the murderboyfriend and the fancy lady know each other, the bar maid confesses her love to the murder boy, tries to get him a room full of junk and broken furniture to stay in, and ponders absconding with him to abroad (he suggests Ireland, because you don't need a passport to go there I guess).

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

She reveals her moustache fetish

#monsterdon

After some conversation, we decide that the flying saucer is still very hot, so we're waiting for it to cool down, and I guess that's why its spinning. Somebody goes to find the nearest phone, which is in a nearby village; I too hate it when I leave my phone in a nearby village.

In another conversation, we learn that the murder guy knows the fancy lady from the past, but I'm not sure from where.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

they really want us to know it was produced by

THE DANZINGERS

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"OK, everyone ignore the spaceship and continue with your dull sub plots"

An odd choice.

#monsterdon

"Devil Girl from Mars"

Our story so far: no devil. no girl. no Mars.

#Monsterdon

I wonder what Devil Girl is doing right now? #monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

okey dockey, i see we start with a literal BANG! so far, so good.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"I've never hurt anyone in my life...on purpose."

Hell of a qualifier for a murderer.

#monsterdon

As we settle down to eat a large urn of soup together, the escaped convict barges in and is immediately identified by the guests as an escaped convict. However, he is saved from Scotland Yard by a loud noise that turns out to be a Gigantic Glowing and Spinning Flying Saucer, that everyone stops to look at. Erecting its landing dildos and shooting fireworks everywhere for no reason, it settles on the moor and then decides to spin, glow and whir for a while longer

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Are they setting up a journalist to be the hero? Ridiculous.

#monsterdon

This is an unusual meteor, but it’s cute. :) #monsterdon

Characters so far in this #monsterdon :
Bar Boss Lady
Barmaid Dating a Murderer
the Murderer
Bald Firewood Guy
Fancy Lady
Astronomer Guy
Driver Guy
Fisherman Guy
A Child

So far the titular #DevilGirlFromMars has yet to appear...

*Inside Lady Guest's head

"Just Fuck Off"

#monsterdon

Is "extraordinary" British for kind of rude?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The lady is a walking talking Sears Catalog. Lets just flip through all the boring bits until we get to the underwear models! YEEEHA!

dang it, my puter,crapped out.
le siiiiigh.

waiting for the reboot.

#monsterdon

After talking about the cool meteor that is probably a flying saucer, the news guy tells us about an escaped criminal, who we then see skulking by the road. He then wanders into the pub, where a younger barmaid is his girlfriend or something, so he visits her to hide out from the cops. The boss lady is suspicious of him, but the two of them spin up a story quick enough to appease her and get him a job as a bar worker. #monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@Taweret Their main export is ghosts

#Monsterdon

Are THESE the men the Devil Woman is coming to collect?

...No accounting for taste, I guess. #Monsterdon

I refuse to believe that anyone in England actually talks like that.

#monsterdon

launching my #monsterdon thread for #DevilGirlFromMars, a movie in which I think Earth is invaded by a thirsty martian dominatrix.

Monsterdon is the thing each week where we watch an old monster movie and make fun of it. Mute the hash tag if that sounds boring to you, otherwise, follow along and enjoy the flood of posts.

is there a link for #monsterdon ??? i'm new to this but want to watch!

#monsterdon GOGOGOGOGOGOGO

@homelessjun You'd have to look past the obvious piece of evidence that she claims to be from Mars (and speaks perfect English so one would assume she knows what Mars is)

but otherwise idk

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

@jonny Hmm yeah I caught the bit about testing the metal, but I assumed it passed its test since it managed to land on Earth in the first place. Plus if we wanna get technical, it definitely looked like an explosion rather than a hull disintegration. (Because *of course* this movie holds up to that level of critical analysis 🙄)

Though I suppose either way there will be more spaceships

#Monsterdon

i cant sleep im afraid of albert jumping out from behind something
#Monsterdon

@floatybirb I mean, for all appearances, from space, Earth looks pretty much like a water world, so yeah, I'm going with the aliens in Signs, on this one. #Monsterdon

OK, ALL posts from @floatybirb just arrived all at once on my TL. Does this delay happen to anyone else?

#monsterdon

@blogdiva

An alien landing and possible earth population disruption is merely a blip in the timeline of the Scottish Pub.

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva DAMN she's amazing

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

anyway good job again team and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@apLundell they should remake the TV show "Cheers"

Except in Scotland

And Rebecca is from Mars

#Monsterdon

A lot of people I follow are part of #Monsterdon

@Lazarou @Cherizilla lol yeah that one's practically free

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

@ramsey I dunno mate. Seems a wee dodgy.
#monsterdon
@steggy

No judgment if that is your thing. You hit the jackpot, dude! #monsterdon

@Taweret Nyah should have taken me! I've got my own selection of gas masks!

#monsterdon

@moira @combatwombat This is going to be a great meme template

#Monsterdon

wait these 2 were married this entire time?
don't get me wrong
i got romance vibes from the alcohol conversation
but married? huh?
#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@steggy @paco If the Martian technology is as advanced as she claimed, I'm sure they could figure out a way to reproduce without any dicks.

#Monsterdon

I think you could make a pretty good supercut of just them walking back and forth in the forest. What do people do for video editing on Linux? #monsterdon

So, I've finished #Monsterdon, despite the weird audio/video mismatch I had (don't know how that happened).

This movie had quite good FX/models, sound effects, music, and even the costumes.

But yet again we see how a bad script can just ruin it all. This was the most boring movie. Even some clever dialog writing could've made it better. But this was just dull.

We should cut a music video out of it -- it'd be more watchable. "Planet Claire" maybe..?

@diazona @SordidAmok Honestly it's sunscreen! It's just so ubiquitous now and it wasn't at all then, and sun is the biggest driver of aging skin (two other big drivers common in the 50's were alcohol and smoking).

#Monsterdon

@paco *viable sperm

i'm pretty sure the robots are fully functional

#monsterdon