We don't actually see the flying saucer stop whirring, at least not yet. It kind of lands and keeps spinning and making noise for a while.

The bar patrons stop to have a debate on whether the flying saucer is a spaceship or not; I would say "yes", but the astronomer is unwilling to jump to conclusions. While I disagree, I rather wish the US Congress displayed his level of skepticism the next time a blogger tells them about a UFO.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

#monsterdon Damn cheap English cars won't start. So it's accurate for a period piece.

Jaime and the jacketed woman may live. The rest must die. Don't let me down, Martian Devil Girl. #monsterdon

Urrgghhh, this is horribly like 'The Stranger From Venus" aka The Film Where Nothing Happened

#monsterdon

We are introduced to another character, Fancy Lady, who is hanging out in this Scottish bar/inn for unclear reasons. She's chatting with another guy who says he's a fisherman and she thinks that's cool. Then the astronomer / professor and his driver roll up to the Scottish inn, so we can gather all the suspects... I mean victims... I mean... potential martian slaves in the same place. #monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I'm gonna steal so many spoons. #monsterdon

"Meteor, a bit of rock from the sky...." she saw the big one that killed the dinosaurs, this is nothing

#monsterdon

i just realized that the guy who escaped from prison after killing a woman redeemed himself in the end by killing another woman

#monsterdon

Which alien species is worse at invading planets? #monsterdon

1) the aliens in Signs (2002 Mel Gibson movie), who are killed by water and land naked on a planet covered in water?
2) the martian dominatrixes in #DevilGirlFromMars who have super powers but are also notably bad at invading planets

@srol A bunch of the #monsterdon movies from the 50s have long stretches of Nothing Happens and the Audience Groans followed by Surprisingly Abrupt Endings Where the Monster Dies.

@bunnyhero i watched the colorized version on youtube. Looks like it was "traditional" colorizing, not modern neural-network driven. #monsterdon

@paco I see nothing but men wanting to submit to Martian Fempire as well, the 1950s have no idea how things turned out, lol!
#monsterdon

@Taweret Thank God our heroes defeated the devil woman.

Otherwise a handful of men from London would have been selected to go to Mars and have lots of sex with Martian women.

What a terrible fate.

#Monsterdon

@moira @CactuarJoe everything is improved with fetishwear #monsterdon

Just as a thought experiment, imagine if Naia's mission had been successful and she'd brought back a Scottish guy to rebuild her race from

Thousands of years later, Earth finally makes it to Mars, lands on the planet

And a little green man offers them a Guinness. #Monsterdon

@Cherizilla Wait... when the convict destroyed the ship, isn't that "an unexpected ally"? #monsterdon

And they fuck off into the bar. That was a movie alright.

#monsterdon

The explosion effect looked lovely but they could have just ended the movie on the shot of the saucer flying away. That would be a perfectly good ending.

Instead, it explodes and we get a brief denouement by and for characters we do not care about completely undercuts what little the movie had going on.

That's a wreck, folks!

#Monsterdon

After flying off, the flying saucer explodes. We don't see how exactly, or why, but the audience is left to assume that the convict destroyed it some how. That he did this without any skills or equipment suggests to me some flaw in the Martian invasion plan.

Anyway, we all drink some scotch to celebrate and the credits roll. #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars .

So they're going to pretend none of this actually happened, aren't they?

#monsterdon

Because every 1950s #monsterdon movie needs a love story that the audience is bored with, the fancy lady and the astronomer get a scene where they kiss and pine for each other.

We get a bonus love story where the bar maid chats with and backrubs the murderer, who is tied up and doesn't remember what happened because being mind controlled mucks with your memory.

#DevilGirlFromMars

@blogdiva I was thinking Siouxsie Sioux

#monsterdon

Ellen has a thing for toxic jerks. She should see a therapist

#monsterdon

BRB, installing curtains everywhere so I can *BOOM* my way into every room. #monsterdon

British men fight like drunk twinks

#monsterdon

"Tie him up.....with kinky rope....break out the poppers!"

#monsterdon

He punched his butt

#devilgirlfrommars #monsterdon

"Then we met the lady in the PVC fetish gear....it were like Slimelight were open it was..."

#monsterdon

"He is a young creature, his mind is free of your stupid ideas"

Save this boy from Earth

#monsterdon

The news guy is going to "deliver"

#monsterdon

You fools, I'm wearing rubber gloves!

#monsterdon

The pubgoers go back inside and have a conference about whether a bunch of bombers could trash the martian flying saucer. With characteristic vigor, the #DevilGirlFromMars wanders in and says something like "fools your puny war machines are no match for martian science!" then takes the professor to go see the inside of her flying saucer, which is a round room with glowing table in the middle. He is impressed that the flying saucer has air conditioning.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon “She's got Betty Davis Eyes…" HAHAHAHAH

After I made fun of the rectangular robot for not doing anything, the awkward rectangular robot decides to do stuff, namely blow up a tree, a truck and a storage shed with head launched photon torpedoes.

Martian Robot 1, Earthly Floatybirb 0.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

LMAO the old guy lifting his coat to warm his bum. well done cheeky brit, well done.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

It hasn't been fired in 20 years...

No problem at all because it's never been cleaned either

#monsterdon

good lord, there's a freaking ufo out there!!!!! #monsterdon

lol, dude walked himself repeatedly into an invisible wall, like a 'typical Earth male'

#monsterdon

Admit it. Devil Girl’s costume was a clever creation given that naugahyde seems to be the most exotic material they had on hand. #monsterdon

#monsterdon This might well have been a play, but with the dedication to having every character narrate every action, this would have been just fine as a radio drama too.

Space Ship lands, somebody puts on a brew.

Authentic British

#monsterdon

Going to need at least two fingers to get through this film.

#monsterdon

It's probably bad if your wheel puts out that much smoke, but seeing as the tire is entirely gone...

#monsterdon

Mansplaining alert: THANKS, PROF! #Monsterdon 🚀 #DevilGirlFromMars

YOU HAVE A FUCKING FLASHLIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T READ THE SIGN? WTF

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Albert's a hot mess, girl. Back AWAY. #Monsterdon 🚀 #DevilGirlFromMars

I am utterly tickled by the fact that all of this CRISP ENUNCIATION by the actors is giving the YouTube [CC] complete clarity 😆 #Monsterdon 🚀 #DevilGirlFromMars

I bet she counts the spoons everyday anyway. #monsterdon

After the title credits, #DevilGirlFromMars takes us to painting by 1950s British Thomas Kinkaide, within which we visit a country pub. Inside the barmaids and a boy are listening to an old-timey radio that talks about a meteor that either burned up in the atmosphere or hit the earth. We then switch to a car where a driver is making fun of an astronomer quoted in the radio broadcast because he can't read a map of Scotland. #monsterdon

@diazona @homelessjun@mas.to #StarTrek / #DevilGirlFromMars crossover fanfic idea - Nyah is a Vulcan from the future who likes Earth boys but is extremely embarrassed by it, so she takes her custom built spaceship to the past to recruit some pets, pretending to be a martian for plausible deniability. #monsterdon

@diazona @jonny But a piece of her spaceship broke off, right? The "meteor" that blew up the plane (first shot of movie) and landed 40 miles from the Bonny Charlie? #Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I may be having a bit too much fun with this

(thanks to @combatwombat)

#Monsterdon

I am reflecting that the whole time the universe dropped a devil girl from Mars on the Scottish Countryside, and one of the main characters shoots the Devil Girl several times, but she doesn't die and gets mad and threatens certain death, ....that... no one in the pub who was holding a glass of whiskey ever set it down the whole scene.

No one said, " Gee, this is a lot to process. I better set my drink down."

I mean--

#Monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

@CactuarJoe Agreed, #DevilGirlFromMars at least had events happen in it. #monsterdon

@CactuarJoe This is bringing a disturbingly high level of logical reasoning to the whole thing

#Monsterdon

Anyway, the one fundamental underlying issue with Devil Girl from Mars? All Naia had to do was land in any city with more than three dudes and ask for volunteers.

"Hey, who wants to go to another planet and help repopulate a planet full of women?" Like, you're not even getting to the free room and board before subby dudes stampede your gangplank.

#Monsterdon

@combatwombat 2025 mood right there #monsterdon

@lytta @paco "Data from Star Trek" Functional

#monsterdon

They did a little to set up the relationship between Doris and Justin, so there's some pathos at the end. Ellen and Michael? I don't know why the characters were even in the movie.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@combatwombat Yes, but also kind of, I don't even feel like this movie deserves a "what"

It's more of a "..." movie

#Monsterdon

Oh and I got bingo! Just barely though

Thanks @Cherizilla

#Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

Huh, I didn't think of this as a fetish movie, but then again my fetish isn't having someone describe to me wikipedia entries they recently read for things that sound made up. #monsterdon

@jonny "Some people are in a pub in Scotland" that's all the exposition you need #monsterdon

@paco one might say an overabundance of dicks

#Monsterdon

I know why I'm so disappointed in the movie. It's because the title promised so much. I really wanted a devil girl.

Arrogant Dominatrix from Mars would have been more accurate. To be fair, those are fine too, just not the same thing.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I give it 2 out of 2 explosions 💥💥

#monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

@CactuarJoe I believe he was a Cockney guy on the run, so you'd just have the White part of Australia again. #monsterdon

@crazypedia@officemarx.party thanks for another great monsterdon! we had:
- escaped murderer
- drinks on the house
- BDSM ladies from space
- robot raygun tech demo 🤖
- men being dumb
- A British amount of action scene
- where'd the kid go(again(asked no one))
- neat ink explosion in the sky

Is anyone worried that the Martians might send someone to check on their missing UFO?

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Hunh. For a movie where like 98% of the dialogue was people explaining stuff, that didn't really make a lot of sense, did it?

Oh well. It did have a devil girl! From Mars! Let's hear it for truth in advertising!

Thanks everyone for watching along!
Thanks @Taweret for hosting! Have a great week & see y'all next Sunday!

#monsterdon

Oh wow. That explosion cloud was spectacular. It just kept on and on, bulbously.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

That ending.. #monsterdon

@Taweret I learned a lot about all of you tonight.

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I'm not sure I followed the plot, so lemme see if I get it:

#monsterdon

@SRLevine also they can't be that advanced if a hairless ape can figure out the ship and how to make it explode

#monsterdon

I give #DevilGirlFromMars 3/5 metal sticks of robot control. The best part was the alien space dominatrix with her icy threats and subdued smirk. The worst part was the puny earthlings who dared to defy her wrath.

The flying saucer was nice because it was loud and stupid, the rectangular robot was fine, but not as cool as Johnny from Chrono Trigger, who is also a tricycle. The plot had almost the expected level of horny for the premise.

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe EXACTLY

SAME BAR BETTER MOVIE

note I did not say good

just

better

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

@ricci it was really good for the times, wasn't it? Like a pearl in pigswill...

#monsterdon

And the Martians never sent another spaceship to Earth again

#monsterdon

#monsterdon This is actually the precursor to the movie Dog Soldiers, about Scottish Werewolves. God that would be a perfectly inane tie-in. The Devil Woman Form Mars brought werewolves to Scotland.

She forgot to the destroy the pub and everyone inside!

#monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

I kinda like the explosion they totally did that in water

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

Yep, mid-air explosion. I guess the punch landed.

#monsterdon

oh nice effect tho

#monsterdon

...I've not seen any pegging...any cock spin....what kind of kink show is this?!

#monsterdon

I'm surprised the Brits reproduce at all after watching this, it's all narrative

#monsterdon

We get an amusing interlude where the driver guy tries to convince the #DevilGirlFromMars that she'll need a guide to conquer London; she decides that he maybe has a point but doesn't trust him specifically (he already tried to kill her twice), and so she'll pick someone else to be her guide later.

Spurned, he retires to his room to ponder some scientific way of destroying the flying saucer. #monsterdon

She went from "you all die" to "one of you will live" rather quickly. She's just fucking with them. She just likes to watch them squirm. #monsterdon

She’s 26?!
#monsterdon #devilgirlfrommars

"I'm 26, and in all those years, I never got to do a single thing I wanted to do"

"And what would you do if you could start all over again?"

"Punk rock. Macrame. Competitive tiddly winks."

#monsterdon

I’m 26, in all those years….

OMFG You’re killing me!

#monsterdon

Typical scientist - ready to betray humanity at the drop of a hat.

#monsterdon

You know this Professor talks a lot of bollocks, doesn't he? He's like one of those fake AIs, sounds smart but isn't

#monsterdon

If you want an ass-whoopin’ come to pub in next 13 minutes!

#devilgirlfrommars #monsterdon

If they ever remade this movie, Wendie Malick would have made a great Nyah.

#monsterdon

Lady, just kill them all now and be done with their Earth Trickery, we've all got our little scams going on down here...

#monsterdon

"This house and everyone in it will be destroyed"

"Soo.....we can just....leave the house....??"

#Monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

is he actually saying they need to punch the reactor?

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

I WUV U!!!
{{HUGS}}

#monsterdon

She really is putting a lot of effort into impressing a few people in a Scottish bar.

#monsterdon #DevilGirlFromMars

"you Fools"

Love how this lady makes an entrance

"...or I shall destroy the Child"

Classic

then she teleports, mocking the Humans again.

I have sworn fealty to this lady's style

#monsterdon