I am just gonna spend the next hour wishing this was the Critters vs Chucky.
#Monsterdon #Critters4

Angela Bassett is the smartest and best-looking crew member.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

Young Ethan would grow up and change his name to Malcolm.

The rest, as they say, is history.

*yes… firefly

#Monsterdon

kind of guy who is kinda a dick (everyone in this crew)

#monsterdon

So far the most unbelievable aspect of this movie is that any man could think straight in the same room as Angela Bassett in a tank top. It's nonsense.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

Enhance! Enhance!

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

i refuse to believe that the state of the art spacefaring society does not use metric

#Monsterdon

everything is easier with tractor beams

Are they employing a child as the engineer? Is this an American ship?

#Monsterdon

They really *ARE* just gonna do an Alien ripoff aren't they?!

#monsterdon #critters4

oh good establishment of characters who, over the course of the movie, I will grow to be entirely indifferent to, I assume

#monsterdon

Going to guess the white male crewmembers are shit and Angela Basset holds the ship together.

#Monsterdon

Why is Otacon Metal Gear Solid in this movie

#Monsterdon

Goddamnit I'm gonna be useless as long as Angela Bassett is on screen. This isn't fair.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

"20 straight days of juggling and telling the captain to fuck off. A new record."

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

it’s the mystical space juggler!

#Monsterdon

so what's the "there's gravity in space" excuse going to be in *this* movie

#monsterdon

There aren't even 4 critters!

#Monsterdon

This is going to be an Alien knockoff, isn’t it? (Based on the trailer.)

#Monsterdon #Critters4

I wonder what the Critters are doing right now?

#monsterdon #critters4

Oh it’s those dang CONSERVATIONISTS

#monsterdon

Oh dear, Charlie has run afoul of Galactic Law.....

#Monsterdon

So far https://liveblog.stefanhayden.com/ is struggling to keep up with Monsterdon. Says "Live · refreshes every 5s" but it's looking more like every 80 seconds @stefan

‼️⚠️ EDIT: I think this slowness was caused by Firefox. It worked much better in Chrome (as most things do)

#monsterdon #critters4

I just realized I never saw the first 3 so I won't understand the complex political interplay between the factions.

Oh sorry this is Critters 4, not Game of Thrones. #monsterdon

I'm glad we're finishing with Charlie, feels like he's the core of the piece

#Monsterdon

Whatever happened to Old Line Cinema

#Monsterdon

This is the one where Apollo dies and he fights Drago.... #monsterdon

@jsadow

I’m just teasing. It wouldn’t matter if you’d seen all three… this one is discontinuous rubbish.

#Monsterdon

@ricci One minute later: "wait, movie is over?"

#monsterdon

https://discuss.systems/@ricci/116315773497061027

Thanks for showing the Making Of, @miru!

#Monsterdon

lol. The cowboy in space soundtrack really dates this flick. #Monsterdon #Critters4

@ricci the #Monsterdon / #Mastodharma crossover we didn't know we need and probably don't deserve

Those external shots looked soooooo bad

#monsterdon #spacemadnessthemakingofcritters4 #monsterdondoublefeature #monstermiru #miru

these guys all look like they have jaundice
#Monsterdon #MonsterMiru

@klu9 to answer for their crime?

#Monsterdon #MonsterMiru

@trixter @Taweret I think with talent, and effort, and a budget they could have managed two of those three options. But no....
#Monsterdon

"We had one week off, and then we started Critters 4. Three days after that, it was in the can."

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

I can't wait to get back to earth to get me one of those Moo Shakes from the Hungry Heifer!

Before I pass out thanks to @JoeWynne for the cocktails and trivia, @cherizilla for the Bingo cards every week, and @Taweret for putting without a doubt the finest movie we've ever watched on #monsterdon onto the ballot this week!

@arrjay This movie could've been an email.

#Monsterdon

No bingo for me although that kinda makes sense since this card was heavily dependent on critters doing interesting things at any point during this movie

#Monsterdon #Critters4

Ha! That was incredibly stupid! Thanks, everyone. You're a hoot. :godzilla_cool:

#monsterdon

@aredridel 100%

#monsterdon

I guess I deserve blame since I voted for this

#Monsterdon #Critters4

welp, that sure was a motion picture all right

#Monsterdon

Good news, no more Critters movies, since they all just blew up.

#Monsterdon

CALLED IT. FUCKING CALLED IT

#Monsterdon

And they fucked off into the end credits, hooray!

#Monsterdon

wait is movie over

#monsterdon

calling it right now, charlie either screws something up or there's a third critter on board their ship

#Monsterdon

@Louisa unbelievably, there is a 5th film after this
#Monsterdon #MonsterMiru

Guys stop trusting Charlie to do anything

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

Angela Basset wishes she was on autopilot for this movie, but the memories persist..

#Monsterdon

I'd pay good money for Angela Bassett to say "yeah" to me like that, about anything, ever.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

Wow that flash ended really quickly.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

If this is ripping off Alien then there are Crites on board the shuttle

#Monsterdon

and then someone pulls a gun on charlie, and then someone else pulls a gun on that person, and then ANOTHER person pulls-

#Monsterdon

Mexican stand off in space? Saturnian stand off?
#Monsterdon #Critters4

There is a danger of CRITEical mass in ten minutes

#Monsterdon #Critters4

@ohiofi I literally typed it out and thought “nah, everyone’s gonna” and I was right.

#Monsterdon

#MONSTERDON
Angela, don't close the blast doors Don't close the blast doors!

even the explosion was disappointing

anyway, here comes the ALIEN twist, I assume

#Monsterdon

Bald Critter deserved better than that

#Monsterdon

Angela Bassett saves the day! Now let's all celebrate with a nice shower.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

Just let Angela Basset handle things from here boys

#Monsterdon

is this Chekov's juggling??? what is this movie.

#monsterdon #Critters4

Chekov's Juggling Skills.

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

If you're going to shoot the crew & search the station on your own anyhow, why bother following up the shooting with a request for information from the rest of the crew? At that point you've already established that you have no great interest in keeping them alive, so there's no reason for the crew to either honour the original deal or to provide any information Ug could trust and use.

this movie is not meeting the high bar of cinematic quality set by the Critters movie franchise

#monsterdon

It's good they use the same four sets again and again....

#Monsterdon

OH! Piter de Vries in Dune.

Grima Wormtongue?

#Monsterdon

that's the worst HUD I have ever seen

#Monsterdon #MonsterMiru

Why is Ug evil now though? Explain that Movie!

#Monsterdon

No! Only Angela Bassett is allowed to hit!

#monsterdon #critters4

Angela, do not stop this movie and load a random episode of Alan Partridge

#Monsterdon

"Hey, we're looking for the Star Wars convention. That's here right?"

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

Corporate goons will betray you...

#Monsterdon

[bongos of intrigue play]

#Monsterdon

ACAB includes Ug

#monsterdon

Storm Troopers, Space, and Guns are © and ™ Lucasfilm Ltd., a Disney company

#Monsterdon

"Did Charlie fire six shots, or only five?"

#Monsterdon

"These Cadbury Creme Eggs are RUINED!"

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

taste it

taste it

#Monsterdon #Critters4

It is interesting, but annoying that they make Angela Bassett very competent at her job but give her so little to do in the plot. Atleast Brad Dourif gets to be mad at Charlie and do technobable stuff.
#Monsterdon #Critters4

So there's only 1 or 2 bullets left, right?

#Monsterdon #Critters4

Didn't Charlie shoot all the ammo?

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

@SnoopJ one of those writers sitting in the corner mumbling ‘needs more pills’ #Monsterdon

"You're not my supervisor!"

#Monsterdon

I propose that we just sit the rest of this movie out

#monsterdon

You'd hate Earth kid, the gravity would slowly kill you....

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe in space, no one can hear you litigate

#Monsterdon

"You're not my father!"

for fuck's sake lol

#Monsterdon

The station is probably heavily enough built it can take a few pistol bullets. (It's not like Δv is real in this setting)

#Monsterdon #Critters4

Charlie do you have any idea how long it's going to take our ship to reboot? IT LOADS FROM A CASSETTE TAPE

#Monsterdon

Charlie, you really killed that man's sense of occasion :/ #Monsterdon

oh yes, of course. Projectile weapons in space. What's a hull breach between friends?

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe ACAB. (All Crites are Bastards)

#Monsterdon

@tankgrrl

It’s his 4th Critters.

#Monsterdon

The critters are distracted playing Asteroids! Now's our chance!

#Monsterdon
#Critters4

@tankgrrl I guess that's the gist of Critters 1-3

#Monsterdon #Critters4

"This is the greatest handgun ever made. The Colt Single Action Army. Six bullets. More than enough to kill anything that moves."

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Intergalactic law requires preserving the species

#Monsterdon #Critters4

Some day I want to see a movie with realistic nuclear reactors (including xenon poisoning)

#Monsterdon #Critters4