the movie isn't quite done yet but on the #monsterdon scale I'm gonna say that it falls somewhere solidly below Godmonster of Indian Flats
Pretty sure those zingy sounding strings are zither, not harpsichord. Sorry to let you down #monsterdon
@athena_rising I'm pretty sure there was a stuffed womprat in the taxidermy collection. #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Renfield is feeling Hungary at the moment.
On the Black Sea, yep. Modern Bulgaria. ...I think semi-controlled by the Ottomans at the time?
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Man Renfield is a real grind, he needs to payoff and do something exceptional to redeem himself
#monsterdon
its like in q the winged serpent when moriarty was doing this great performance in the middle of a terrible movie. thats kinski rn
#Monsterdon Why does this porter have a fez? I mean, itβs very fetching, butβ¦
#monsterdon No Kinskishaming
The fiance is handling the death of his betrothed, and then having to dig a shovel blade into her corpse's neck, remarkably well
So at the climax of the film Renfield tears off his restraints and throws Dracula into an active volcano, right? #Monsterdon
urrrgghh, I forget there was a race across Europe to come....the pacing.....
this movie could have been an email
the real antagonist of the film is having absolutely zero survival instincts #monsterdon
This concert is like the Whos of Whoville singing carols after a hearty Christmas meal of roast beast #Monsterdon
LOOK OUT MR LINCOLN!
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970
Then they thought I'd had enough. Hah ha ha.
YES WE HAVE ALL HAD ENOUGH. END IT QUICKLY. END IT
dracula, you don't have to kidnap me. i will happily leave this concert with you
Wait, Van Helsing just had an offscreen mild stroke? Cβmon, movie, are you just throwing stuff in for fun now? You know you can edit, right? #monsterdon
I'm simply amazed by how little action and tension this movie manages to have. #Monsterdon
How did Van Helsing end up in a wheelchair? What did I miss?
The Opera! It's a trap!
@wohali@octodon.social I think thatβs what he was crying about earlier at his desk?
#monsterdon
We've built up to a triple zoom just before the taxidermy scare. What could be next for us?
Wait, why didn't we see Van Helsing's stroke??
It's a medical miracle. He's cured and the neck brace is gone! This hospital is amazing.
#monsterdon
why is Van Helsing in a wheelchair, is this a ruse I missed?
@Newpa_Hasai oof that would almost make too much sense
If only Van Helsing had told them how to sanctify anything
sanctify yourself too
i mean it's a pretty good song so you might as well
lol, classic Victorian prostitutes
AN OSTRICH!? #Monsterdon
They really should've credited their puppeteers, this is some Henson-level genius here :D
Really makes the *checks notes* decayed swordfish on a stick come a live. #Monsterdon
oh wait i think it's a deer???
anyway did you know that in the book of the shining it's not a hedge maze it's hedge animals and there's a reason they changed it for the screen. just saying #Monsterdon
Scary off screen sounds!
Wait wtf? Dracula controls a wax museum of animals?
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970
If you've ever eaten at a Jekyll & Hyde, it's basically like this except also the badger head does some insult comedy #monsterdon
@allanb a ha ha ha ha
but the owl is a close second because the person shaking it really just is going for it
badger badger badger badger
Did Dracula have his taxidermy sent from his castle to London, but still not dusted
Ooh, the Fox is back. But with a well lit zooom #monsterdon
That does not sound like a small caliber weapon
#monsterdon
ok timestamp to go back and clip the animal closeup montage this is going on for SO LONG #monsterdon
fantastic mr. skunk fantastic mr. owl fantastic mister.. uh.. swordfish no?
The menagerie. Very scary. #Monsterdon
Guys, you're hunting a vampire. A taxidermied fox is not that scary. #Monsterdon
taxidermy sequence, activate!
the zooms are hilarious every time tho
1, 2, 3 -- 3 looks of surprise!
#monsterdon
a huge thing most people miss about hunting draculas is that you should do it during the day #monsterdon
Did Dracula bring the creepy stuffed creatures with him, or did they come with the house?
Goddam I was just thinking what this movie really needed was some shitty lit shitty taxidermy
The scariest thing is how the actress playing Lucy was killed in a road accident a few months after this film was released #monsterdon
@yatsu Pretty sure I heard a dolphin back there. #Monsterdon
there is not a single normal animal noise in this movie, is there. #monsterdon
The monkeys made it to England! #monsterdon
movie has given up on even trying us to convince that this day-for-night is nighttime
#monsterdon If you are watching this movie, I just want to remind you that your feelings are valid
Got to say traveling by Freight is not that much worse than economy class these days :blobcatbox: π«
They haven't really done much with Renfield yet he seems to just be some sort of strange handsomely-creepy looking sideshow I'm interested to know what he has to say besides wAAAAHaahahhahhh! #Monsterdon
Why do people keep staring into the camera in this movie? It's uncomfortable, stop staring at me you creeps. #Monsterdon
Hey Matt Berry is back!
. . . oh he doesn't get any lines.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970
there's 20 minutes of this left but the last 10 have felt like an eternity
He has to say "do as I say" after giving an order because the office help is a bit challenged
"Are we ready?"
Sure, I'm unarmed and my friend has a weapon which famously does nothing to vampires. But we've both got bling, so let's go face the ancient horror <3 #Monsterdon
Always..... remember... to... drink... your Ovaltine. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970
#Monsterdon π΅ i bit a girl and i liked it π΅
i'm really not interested in what a guy who eats bugs has to say #monsterdon
very small gun for a "Cowboy American" from the original books....
#monsterdon We are all channeling Renfield here
Just going to chew film for a few seconds here and drag things out well looking as bored as the audience
Okay, I know I'm that tiresome "it was better in the book" bitch, but it was better in the book. Then again, literally everything in this movie was better in the book. #Monsterdon
damn, that spike makes some serious kinda noise in her chest. is she made of oak or something? #monsterdon
@SesameSquirrel Probably not harpsichord but I'm going to keep saying harpsichord because it's fun, and also Tentacles taught us how awesome harpsichord riffs are
Quincy (Jack Taylor) played the priest of Thulsa Doom who tried to put the make on Conan. #monsterdon
#Monsterdon βYou must obey me absolutely.β Dr. van Seward is kinky.
Well it's too late for Lucy, Dr. Hellsing. Not sure why you waited until she died to act. #monsterdon
Next scene: βSo far, Iβm right.β
Van Helsing is an asshole. #Monsterdon
Van Helsing, pioneering acupuncturist #monsterdon
the problem with litarally every vampire story is - why wouldn't you wanna be a vampire? being a vampire fucking rules
the cameraman must have been paid by the zoom #monsterdon
Generally not a lot of children out at 1AM, are there...?
@jonny If there were draculas today then there would be dracula wellness influencers telling you things like "DO NOT eat people who have eaten THESE FIVE FOODS !!! π± "
i know everyone's complaining about all the camera zooms but it's like the camera operator is doing everything they can to add any action to this film
@allanb you and me both
Oh no, the Bene Gesseritt have arrived. They heard about all these boxes Dracula has. Bene Gesseritt can never pass up a good evil box. #Monsterdon
Above the law?
What law is Count Dracula actually breaking? Has there been specific applicable statues for this situation? I don't think legislation is the way to go.
Wooden stakes people!!! Pitchforks!! Torches!!
I know Lucy is supposed to be a vampire now but the black and the skin-toned lipstick just makes her look like she's from a 21st-century fashion shoot #Monsterdon
still unclear how someone in town turning everyone into incredibly cool goths that are also bats is a problem #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Funeral, then straight to children playing, but itβs still dark out? Night for Day or something?
Blue rubber ball in the late 1800s? #Monsterdon
Interesting costume choice putting the "Lady in white" in a black dress. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970
Lucy makes a rather fetching vampire
Directorβs trademarks: excessive zooming, running out of money, not making any sense
He fell that far onto concrete and then just sort of said, "Oog," and rolled over as if he'd tripped or fallen out of bed. #monsterdon
@Taweret I am suddenly so disappointed in the lack of cowboys in my Dracula movie π§ββοΈ π€
@adhdeanasl In the book, the brilliant & ambitious Dr. Seward was one of the several guys Lucy was flirting with / considering marrying before she got engaged to Lord Godalming (NOT Quincy Morris, the American, although he was one of her suitors too). #CountDracula #Monsterdon
Alas, sweet Lucy has become a big titty goth girlfriend #monsterdon
#monsterdon
It's handy to have the swing out bars in the windows...