Zoom is too complicated for just one man.

#Monsterdon

And Tubi rolls into Dan Curtis' version of Dracula with Jack Palance as Dracula #monsterdon

@moira Were we supposed to understand those glassy-eyed animals howling were animated taxidermic creatures, or was this just more "we ran out of money, use these cheap props"? #Monsterdon #CountDracula

Oh ... that's how ... it ends? We just had to be at a higher elevation than Dracula so we could drop something heavy on him? #monsterdon

Love the super-dramatic music swelling while they stand at the top of the wall wondering if maybe they should put that fire out before it catches.

#monsterdon

Huh. So that's how you wanna end your movie, huh? Okay, get bent. I'm outta here. #Monsterdon

that visual effect at the end was cool, at least

thank god it's over. #Monsterdon took serious psychic damage from this one

so that was a pretty lame adaptation but there were some unintentionally funny moments

one 70s dracula down

3 to go

and Herzog is up next so that will be interesting

ty for joining, everyone!!

#monsterdon

It’s weird the shortcuts the director took and what he decided to leave in. No Demeter, but there are the little details like hiring the ship and discussing the property. Weird.
#Monsterdon

#monsterdon you could've at least unhitched the horse from the damn cart first

just picture that indiana jones face melting dude instead of what actually just happened there. #monsterdon

Time and space has little meaning. I knew it! He is a transdimensional being! The fade to black earlier gave it away
#monsterdon

you had a successful strategy: staking worked. you hadn't even tried burning someone for like a minute before dumping them over a ledge before, don't test in prod. #monsterdon

I loved the real fear in Christopher Lee’s eyes, when he realized he was about to die. #Monsterdon

Should have ended on a freeze frame high five #monsterdon

"Go away you silly English bed-wetters, or I shall taunt you a second time!" #monsterdon

A rock that size would probably weigh over two tons. #Monsterdon

I love the burning Dracula face. 10/10 best part of the movie.
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon “Whilst the Count lives, time and space have little meaning.” That explains all the zooms and quick cuts.

AND OUR HEROES START A MASSACRE AT A FUNERAL what brave boys #Monsterdon

Everybody must get stoned. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970

are they gonna just drop a boulder on this thing like some kind of monty python episode??? hilarious. #monsterdon

Totally not buying 2 guys pushing a bounder
#monsterdon

what in the FUCK #monsterdon

Van Helsing recovered from his stroke remarkably quickly

#monsterdon

This reminds me of the line from the Princess Bride. "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world." #monsterdon

Wouldn't Dracula feel through the Force that his apprentices are dead? Oh wait, wrong franchise

#Monsterdon

blood spray like when ur heavy that month and you stand up after sitting for two hours...
#monsterdon

"Time and space have little meaning." For all of us trapped watching this hellish movie, yes #Monsterdon

@flowerpot I'm guessing that's supposed to be sanctifying it so Dracula can't (safely) come back and use it again, but I dunno, I'm no expert on vampire lore

#Monsterdon

is there a reason Meena has to be recumbent the whole time, or...? #monsterdon

5 Minutes left!
#Monsterdon

Just a couple of lads, alone together in a castle, pounding some stakes 😏 #monsterdon

@Taweret i can't tell how much of my laughter is the noises are hilarious (at least half) and how much is relief the movie is clearly about to end #monsterdon

#monsterdon This is f disgusting of how bad it is

Edit: I know, they are vampires yadda yadda but tell me that the scene wasn't cringy as f

Those coffins or are they loading photon torpedoes? #Monsterdon

laughing at the noises the redheaded vamp is making as she dies #monsterdon

hammertime mate stop fucking around

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

Maybe instead of setting your house on fire, just keep a cross handy, Mr. “I’ve been studying the black arts”. #Monsterdon

Whew that's a hot poker

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

Another miraculous recovery in the hospital! The man in the wheelchair stands up, swings a hot poker, and supports the woman leaving the room. #monsterdon

Iceland? Norway? Sweden?
#monsterdon

#monsterdon watched this movie while playing minecraft yesterday, just like jesús franco intended it to be experienced. *potion sipping sounds*

Van Helsing is walking around real well for somebody who was, moments ago, wheelchair-bound after a stroke. #monsterdon

Lucy in the other Dracula movie I remember watching enjoyed herself a lot more. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon dracula why are you even going to the red light district if you're not gonna pick up hookers

the movie isn't quite done yet but on the #monsterdon scale I'm gonna say that it falls somewhere solidly below Godmonster of Indian Flats

Pretty sure those zingy sounding strings are zither, not harpsichord. Sorry to let you down #monsterdon

@athena_rising I'm pretty sure there was a stuffed womprat in the taxidermy collection. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Renfield is feeling Hungary at the moment.

On the Black Sea, yep. Modern Bulgaria. ...I think semi-controlled by the Ottomans at the time?

#Monsterdon

Man Renfield is a real grind, he needs to payoff and do something exceptional to redeem himself
#monsterdon

its like in q the winged serpent when moriarty was doing this great performance in the middle of a terrible movie. thats kinski rn

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Why does this porter have a fez? I mean, it’s very fetching, but…

#monsterdon No Kinskishaming

The fiance is handling the death of his betrothed, and then having to dig a shovel blade into her corpse's neck, remarkably well

#Monsterdon

So at the climax of the film Renfield tears off his restraints and throws Dracula into an active volcano, right? #Monsterdon

urrrgghh, I forget there was a race across Europe to come....the pacing.....

#monsterdon

this movie could have been an email

#Monsterdon

the real antagonist of the film is having absolutely zero survival instincts #monsterdon

This concert is like the Whos of Whoville singing carols after a hearty Christmas meal of roast beast #Monsterdon

LOOK OUT MR LINCOLN!
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

Then they thought I'd had enough. Hah ha ha.

YES WE HAVE ALL HAD ENOUGH. END IT QUICKLY. END IT

#monsterdon

dracula, you don't have to kidnap me. i will happily leave this concert with you

#monsterdon

Wait, Van Helsing just had an offscreen mild stroke? C’mon, movie, are you just throwing stuff in for fun now? You know you can edit, right? #monsterdon

I'm simply amazed by how little action and tension this movie manages to have. #Monsterdon

How did Van Helsing end up in a wheelchair? What did I miss?

#Monsterdon

The Opera! It's a trap!

#Monsterdon
#CountDracula1970

@Taweret

We've built up to a triple zoom just before the taxidermy scare. What could be next for us?

#Monsterdon

Wait, why didn't we see Van Helsing's stroke??

#monsterdon

It's a medical miracle. He's cured and the neck brace is gone! This hospital is amazing.
#monsterdon

why is Van Helsing in a wheelchair, is this a ruse I missed?

#monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai oof that would almost make too much sense

#Monsterdon

If only Van Helsing had told them how to sanctify anything

#monsterdon

sanctify yourself too

i mean it's a pretty good song so you might as well

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

lol, classic Victorian prostitutes

#monsterdon

AN OSTRICH!? #Monsterdon

They really should've credited their puppeteers, this is some Henson-level genius here :D

Really makes the *checks notes* decayed swordfish on a stick come a live. #Monsterdon

If you've ever eaten at a Jekyll & Hyde, it's basically like this except also the badger head does some insult comedy #monsterdon

Scary off screen sounds!
Wait wtf? Dracula controls a wax museum of animals?
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

@allanb a ha ha ha ha

#Monsterdon

but the owl is a close second because the person shaking it really just is going for it

#Monsterdon

badger badger badger badger

#Monsterdon

Did Dracula have his taxidermy sent from his castle to London, but still not dusted

#Monsterdon

Ooh, the Fox is back. But with a well lit zooom #monsterdon

That does not sound like a small caliber weapon
#monsterdon

ok timestamp to go back and clip the animal closeup montage this is going on for SO LONG #monsterdon

fantastic mr. skunk fantastic mr. owl fantastic mister.. uh.. swordfish no?

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

The menagerie. Very scary. #Monsterdon

Guys, you're hunting a vampire. A taxidermied fox is not that scary. #Monsterdon

taxidermy sequence, activate!

#Monsterdon

the zooms are hilarious every time tho

#monsterdon

1, 2, 3 -- 3 looks of surprise!
#monsterdon

a huge thing most people miss about hunting draculas is that you should do it during the day #monsterdon

Did Dracula bring the creepy stuffed creatures with him, or did they come with the house?

#Monsterdon

Goddam I was just thinking what this movie really needed was some shitty lit shitty taxidermy

#Monsterdon
#CountDracula1970

The scariest thing is how the actress playing Lucy was killed in a road accident a few months after this film was released #monsterdon

@yatsu Pretty sure I heard a dolphin back there. #Monsterdon

there is not a single normal animal noise in this movie, is there. #monsterdon

The monkeys made it to England! #monsterdon