Most people won't be able to listen to this now as you're watching a movie. Just know the only lyrics in this minute-long song are "I put my hand inside a toilet. #monsterdon

Great scene of interior of train station, ruined by awful lighting

#monsterdon

He fell into a river and floated to Van Helsing’s?
Poor Van Helsing is tasked with saving everyone.
Just stay away from Dracula, people! #monsterdon

It’s too bad they couldn’t have gotten somebody with a more intense, uncanny vibe to play Renfield, #Monsterdon

I'd like to personally thank the director for including this scene where the actor eats flies, and further for *drawing out* that scene to a full five minutes. That's very thoughtful and nice to watch >_> #Monsterdon

Ladies and gentlewierds, may I introduce Andy Warhol as Renfield. First a little abstract wall art, then some toilet flies as a snack.

#Monsterdon

omg that renfield scream, i thought it was wilhelm at first #monsterdon

I thought those walls were supposed to be padded, not hard?

#Monsterdon

"Live from Mar-a-Lago..." #Monsterdon

Unknown to Jonathan we've replaced his usual doctor with Captain Nemo. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970

(we are down to the 'surprising unpopped kernels of corn' stage of this bag )

Mad camera pan and scream as Hubert Lom says 'Dracula'

#monsterdon

Wow he sleeps like the dead ⚰️🧛‍♂️

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

The harpsichordist is really not getting enough credit

#monsterdon

"Chased by bats. GIANT bats!"

Too bad we didn't get to see THAT scene!

#monsterdon

I usually find soundtracks from this era fascinating, but they're really trying too hard with all the things tonight.

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

I call bullshit on lifting that concrete cover
#monsterdon

why is the music not getting its own cast role and credit so it can qualify for scale payment

#monsterdon

A Dracula ate my baby. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "this airbnb was _not_ professional. host's thralls kept trying to party with me"

Oh, so they’re the Babysitters Club. Got it. #Monsterdon

Oh shit is that the baby
#monsterdon

lol, did he actually do a "What We Do In The Shadows" style "BAT!"

#monsterdon

"I want my baby back!" Starts humming the tune. #Monsterdon

Did this Dracula just talk up how great The Most Dangerous Game is?

#Monsterdon

It kinda sticks to the book storyline

#monsterdon

“My employers expect me back in London.”

“We shall see.”

That's not ominous at all.

#Monsterdon

This Dracula is ethnically Hungarian?

#Monsterdon

"This was a Dracula indeed!" Is a great line.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Count... 1-2-3-ah-ah! Dracula! Yay! He counts!

so this house im buying, what's the school district like?

#monsterdon

I want a Count with a short cape and a looooooooooooong

fireplace

#Monsterdon

He doesn't even grunt when he gets up
#monsterdon

"Have you lived here many years?"

No, I just sub-lease from the spiders. #Monsterdon

those must be load-bearing cobwebs #monsterdon

The candlestick is a vampire too, it has no reflection.

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

If someone invites you in by making an express point that you’re doing so of your own free will, that’s probably a bad sign. It’s like a 19th century binding arbitration agreement. #Monsterdon

Wait his candles are also not in the mirror?

#Monsterdon
#CountDracula1970

@Newpa_Hasai arsonist spiders

she did say ALL the evils of the world would be around

#monsterdon

I should just answer my door with, "I am Dracula" from now on.

Dishwasher to install? "I am Dracula".

Sandwich delivered? "I am Dracula".

Perfect opener. Can't go wrong.

#monsterdon

My teen son says "Can someone in this world PLEASE invent WD-40? EVERYTHING squeaks!" #monsterdon

like im not gonna know youre still christipher lee. you got the most distinctive voice in the world

#monsterdon

Really all I'm getting out of this film so far is that half of us really want to book a train ride through Europe. #Monsterdon

@brooke but he has booze?!

#monsterdon

Remember those old kids toys where you pulled a string and a random animal moaned? Yeah. Remembering those tonight. #Monsterdon

May dog have mercy on your soul

#monsterdon

Yesssssssssss they're doing the thing from the book where Harker thinks the carriage driver is Dracula too

#Monsterdon

yeah, that's Christopher Lee driving that engineless car and freaking out the wolves

#monsterdon

@moira It's tradition, Dracula (1931) had armadillos. #Monsterdon

@catzilla it's our old friend Day For Night For Day #Monsterdon

You know what eastern European peasant women wore in the 19th century? Heavy winged eyeliner and false eyelashes

#Monsterdon

"May god protect you, sir, from the camera at your feet."

#monsterdon

"Why do you look at me so strangely?"

The cape? Maybe It's the cape my dude

#Monsterdon

You're from England and you're traveling abroad. I imagine you would be used to that look by now #monsterdon

Too tired to take off his goddamn shoes before getting into bed?? #monsterdon

Was that wolf blowing a trumpet? #Monsterdon

Aspiring lawyers always wear capes. #monsterdon

One of our clients... Count Dracula. I know that reaction. Relatable.

#Monsterdon
#CountDracula1970

how nice of mutton-chop watson to wait till the close up was half way to his face before gasping. #monsterdon

Is it me, or did that howling wolf sound like Kim Cattral’s character from Porky’s during THAT scene? #Monsterdon

Ready to relax with #monsterdon & vampires. Should be fine…

And now the first of 4 Draculas

#Monsterdon

@SesameSquirrel @ramsey In #CountDracula IMO His Excellency is some British Embassy guy. Van Helsing, Lord Godalming (except they call him Quincey Morris in the movie, but Quincey could never have gotten them in to see His Excellency), and Jonathan Harker (there to take notes as a law clerk?) are about to explain "That Transylvanian Count Is A Vampire!" to the ambassador to get British govt. help, then Harker gets a telegram and they rush to the concert hall. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon zomg. Christopher Lee had to have been so sick of playing Dracula. If Wikipedia is accurate he apparently played Dracula four previous times before tonight's film. He played Dracula multiple times in 1970.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Count_Dracula#Portrayals

@Configures @jmelesky Is that what we're calling that performance? 🤣

#monsterdon

@jgamble They can’t all be Barry Lyndon.

#Monsterdon

@3janeTA There were decent (to me; not everyone thought so) and terrible parts to this movie. Lots of fuel for our commentary. #Monsterdon #CountDracula

@SesameSquirrel So, it turns out that Van Helsing had a stroke. They even showed it in the movie, but it wasn’t really dealt with, other than by showing him in a wheelchair. #Monsterdon

I like how much of this film has no dialogue #monsterdon

there's literally no reason for them to sound like a bunch of popeyes

c/w for video: vampires being staked, blood

#Monsterdon #PopeyesOfMonsterdon #DeathsOfMonsterdon

@aprilfollies "Ah ah ah... It's just so ridiculous!" -Ediie Murphy, doing Desi Arnaz

#monsterdon

@kcarr2015 I'm envisioning that The Count was originally supposed to play Dracula but he kept getting distracted counting things

"One neck! Two necks! Three necks! HA HA HA HA HA"

*runs out of the room excitedly*

#Monsterdon #Muppets

#Monsterdon Okay, there may still be a few trailing boosts, because the Monsterdon commentators were so on point tonight, but mostly done for this week. If you haven’t muted the tag into oblivion, and are maybe monster-curious, see below:

https://mastodon.social/@whknott/113263899850982250

#Monsterdon Is it just me, or is it weird that the heroes in this movie just dropped a couple of boulders and killed some poor hard working peasants with families to feed?

WAIT a minute. So they just dumped some huge concrete blocks on the heads of random peasants in order to corner the Count?? 🥴

#Monsterdon

I believe the arrival scene of Lucy and Mina provided a Bechdel pass #monsterdon

Angry Video Game nerd pointed out that the Franco Dracula is the only adaptation where Dracula has a moustache as described in the novel #Monsterdon

@Configures @SnoopJ "There was so much going on!" and other things said by no one about this movie xD

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

"Whilst the count lives, time and space have little meaning." I didn't know vampires had quite that much sway over physics. #monsterdon

oh and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting ^_^

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

@diazona
Well... they have The Count on Sesame Street. 🤷‍♂️
#Monsterdon

The moral of the story is that it is possible to get film roles where you just sit around mutely in a demented state and still be respected by your audience. Live the dream #monsterdon

in #Monsterdon you either kill it with fire, or you live long enough to fuck off into the sea

another weird, harpsichordy Monsterdon...

big thanks to our host @Taweret for organizing Dracula theme month :D

@ramsey Stress. When Van Helsing was staring into the camera and clenching his hands, he had a mini-stroke. #CountDracula #Monsterdon

i was due for this flavor of #monsterdon movie - i kept accidentally only attending the good ones for a bit there

Dracula: the original career flameout!
#Monsterdon

It's not the worst movie with Dracula in it. But this might be the dullest direct adaptation. Christopher Lee is good, but doesn't get to chew scenery enough.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

#monsterdon At least in the Jules Verne ones we have big crabs and good paintings

@Configures Yeah I think they were supposed to be being animated by dracula

but it really did not work

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

And, consistent with other #monsterdon movies, there is no denouement whatsoever. Burn, toss, THE END (or, “FINE”, as it were).

The soundtrack was trying very hard, to the point of being sometimes painful to listen to. The sound effects were all over the place and not great. Christopher Lee was grand, but stuck in a not-good movie. So many of the cast were … technically present, rather than actually performing.

Overall, not my favorite.

i'll give Count Dracula this:

it was better than John Carpenter's "Vampires", which I saw last night

and that is a profoundly low bar

#monsterdon

thanks all for a uhhh surprisingly literal in places Dracula adaptation for #monsterdon! and thanks as always to @Taweret for organizing! hope all who used the stream had a good experience!

Welp, that was it! Glad to be back with all of you in #Monsterdon and as always thank you to @Taweret for organizing everything!

I joined Monsterdon fairly recently and I find it funny that we've already watched 2 Christopher Lee movies (because last Monsterdon I watched was 'The Wicker Man' lol)

Lee and Kinski were the only saving graces of that film. Pretty much everything else sucked.

(See what I did there?)

Thanks, @Taweret and all, for another great #Monsterdon!

@jmelesky Yes, I think they switched the women's hair colors in #CountDracula Also, in the book Lucy was silly and a bit brainless, but she was pretty serious in this movie. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon One flaming Dracula later, annnnnd we’re done. ✔️

When all else fails, try fire to solve your problems!

I always forget how abruptly these movies end

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

#Monsterdon the stakes have never been higher

#monsterdon So... Guys... Illuminate me...

They set Dracula on fire...

AND THEY THROW HIM TO WATER???.?

Hoo. Boy. That wasn't very good now, was it? 😩

#Monsterdon

That was terrible and fun! Thanks for keeping me entertained, monster friends. #Monsterdon